The Best & Hardest Part of Being a Writer is The “Undoing.”
To do my best, I must give my all. All authors do.
I have many writer friends and I don’t know a single one of them who writes the first sentence of their new novel and knows the whole story, knows it will be wonderful, and has confidence in every word.
Instead, we question, struggle, have doubts, and turn to God in ways greater than we ever dream possible. And as we write, we are changed.
Oswald Chambers says in My Utmost for His Highest:
“God writes our new name only on those places in our lives where He has erased our pride, self-sufficiency, and self-interest. Some of us have our new name written only in certain spots, like spiritual measles. And in those areas of our lives we look all right. When we are in our best spiritual mood, you would think we were the highest quality saints. But don’t dare look at us when we are not in that mood. A true disciple is one who has his new name written all over him—self-interest, pride, and self-sufficiency have been completely erased.”
That is my goal as a believer in Christ. All that self-interest, pride, and self-sufficiency will be completely erased. God, in the amazing way He works, uses the writing process to do that.
When I’m staring at this computer screen, working on these stories, I feel weaker and more in need than any other time. I have no pride, only a total need for God. Spots of godliness aren’t enough in situations like these. I need God all over me–inside and out. It’s a needy place to be, but wonderful too. As the Newsboys are singing on my cd player right now: “Come on, Lord, and fill up my life. I need your presence, this is my heart’s desire . . .”
How about you? What in your life does this “undoing”?
How does God meet you there?
Prayer
Lord, use my undoing, no matter what role or position I’m in in life, for your glory. In my weakness, be my strength. Use my skill set to point to you.
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I have felt this time and time again over the last year. I’ve written more than any other time in my life and felt more undone than ever.
But – it is the point. So true.
xo,
Stacey
This hits close to my heart. My undoing for my writing is time. Not the hours in a day, but the years that I squandered. I got a late start and now I find myself rushing to catch up, fearing I will never get my stories finished or that they will never land in the hands of readers. I have so much more to learn about the craft. You are so right about our needing God the most when are staring at that blank screen, or diving into a third or fourth rewrite. Feeling the pressure of time is my undoing – but what it boils down to is not trusting God can do the job in the blink of an eye.