The book includes tips on:
—how to create focus themes for your family
—how to prioritize your schedule
—how to utilize your job so it also benefits your kids
—how to keep yourself out of the comparison game
—how to make working at home work for you
—and much more!
Search Results for: balanced
A Few Important Thoughts that Will Transform Your Schedule: Balanced Series Day 11
A Few Important Thoughts that Will Transform Your Schedule
I wrote the book Balanced, yet I love how God is able to use my own words to help and inspire myself! As I’ve written blogs based on the book, it’s given me a chance to rethink some of the concepts. Every season of life is different, and I’m even in a new season since the nine months when I wrote the book! These are things I was reminded of—important thoughts that transformed my schedule.
1. Take time to ponder where you’re falling short.
On my current Fail! and Yeah! List I identified that while I was giving a lot of attention to my little kids, it was easy to ignore the older ones. It worked out that I was able to go on a road trip to Nashville, and my nineteen-year-old went with me. We chatted on the drive. We went to a concert, and we enjoyed being together! If I hadn’t stopped to ponder where I was falling short, I would have missed out on the memories I was able to make with Nathan. When I think about where I’m falling short, I can make plans to succeed.
2. Take time to build teamwork in your family.
I’d had been slacking on working with my children concerning chores. I knew it would be a lot of work. IT IS! Yet they are so excited to help and to be part of a team. If I hadn’t done this challenge I probably would have let my little kids slide for while longer (months? a year?). Yet when I was reminded of the importance of building a family team, I made creating a chore time schedule a priority. When I think in terms of “teamwork” it changes how I/we work around the home.
3. Take time to prioritize.
When my to-do list gets too full, it gets easy to want to give up. When I pick the “most important thing” and do that, it’s amazing what can get done. When I think about “what’s most important,” I understand my next steps.
4. Take time to praise.
I love God but so many times I forget to thank Him for ALL things. My husband is traveling this week, which means life is harder for this momma. Yet when I praise God for the kids, the mess, and even the weariness, I’m reminded that God sustains me. When I think about God, it makes it easier to ask Him for help throughout the day.
What about you? How do your thoughts transform your schedule?
Steps You can Take
- Think about your thoughts. How do they change your attitude and actions? Take three minutes to journal about that. (Time yourself!)
- Write down three steps you can take to get your thoughts moving in the right direction.
- Thank God for the way He created our minds to work. Ask Him to guide your thoughts today, knowing they will transform your actions!
Daily Prayer
Dear Lord Jesus,
I know my thoughts are like the wind that moves the sail of my actions. When my thoughts blow in a positive direction, I steer in the right direction. Lord, help me control my thoughts today in a way that will positively impact my life and my family!
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Resources You Might Like:
GrATTITUDE: Practicing Contagious Optimism for Positive Change
Jesus Calling
My Utmost for His Highest
How to Say “No” (And 8 Things to Say “Yes” To): Balanced Series Day 10
How to Say “No” (And 8 Things to Say “Yes” To)
Last Sunday I had a dilemma. We were a few minutes late for church, and we took a seat behind the children. In our church, pre-K through sixth-grade kids sit in the sanctuary during worship and then are released after worship to go to their children’s program. We were barely seated when one of the sixth-grade girls jumped from her seat and rushed to John. “Would you be our teacher today? Our teacher isn’t here.”
It turns out there was a miscommunication between the children’s director and the teacher, but that still meant someone was needed to help with the sixth-grade boys and girls. My husband was quick to respond and another woman was too. And I just sat there. I forced myself not to follow. Why?
I knew I could get up to help. I was physically and mentally able to come up with a lesson on the fly. But deep down I knew I couldn’t. I have three children under the age of six. I homeschool. I write and blog. I lead our teen mom support group. I didn’t have one ounce of “extra” in me to give.
It’s hard saying no. Really hard. The only easy way to do it is by understanding what we were called to say yes to.
In Balanced I encourage readers to narrow down their “life themes” to eight. Why eight? None of us are just about one thing . . . and eight is enough to manage, believe me!
What are your eight life themes?
My husband loves children’s church. It’s his passion, and he took a break from it when we adopted our two new kids, mostly because the adjustment was huge. If he were to create a list of his eight life themes, children’s church would be on that list.
Because I love John and enjoy children, I’ve supported him in this. Before adopting our new kids, I spent most Sundays working by his side, but in this season of life I just can’t do it. I need Sundays to get filled up so I can pour out the rest of the week.
Eight life themes are the things that come from the core of us. Yet during different seasons of life they may look different. These are my eight priorities in this season of life. These are the things I choose to say yes to:
- Being a child of God
- Being a wife
- Being a mom. (Adoption is a huge part of this now, as is homeschooling.)
- Mentoring teen moms
- Writing books
- Blogging/radio
- Keeping a home
- Staying healthy
It’s a big list. It’s enough. I also have a passion for leading mission trips, and a time may come when I start helping John in children’s ministry again. But now is not that time. And I’m OK with that. I know Jesus has created me for a purpose in THIS day. In THIS season.
How about you? If you’re like me there is a lot you CAN do. But what is God asking you to do in this season? What are your eight priorities?
Steps You can Take
- Look at your life. Currently what are your eight priorities? Write them down.
- Make a second list of things you need to say “no” to.
- Start saying “no” to everything except your current priorities.
Daily Prayer
Dear Lord Jesus,
I thank you for all that you’ve given me. Lord, sometimes it seems too much. Help me to focus on the priorities that YOU have given me in this season. Also, Lord, help me to say “no” to other things, no matter how wonderful they seem.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Resources You Might Like:
3 Ways to Make Today Amazing: Balanced Series Day 8
3 Ways to Make Today Amazing!
Want to have an amazing day? Who would say “no” to that?
I’ve been a mom since 1989, and I’ve had more hard days than amazing ones. The hard days come when I look at the long to-do lists, when I focus on my weaknesses instead of my strengths, and when I get overwhelmed with all the needs of my kids! Can you relate?
But lately I’ve had many amazing days. Why? It all started with me the word of the year that I felt God placing on my heart: Rejoice! To me it’s “putting joy” into the day and being thankful for all God’s done.
Here are three ways to do this.
- Be Thankful. Take three minutes and write down (or even whisper) how many things you’re thankful for.
- Play! Take time to play board games, sing Disney songs, and put together puzzles with your kids. Ignore the messes all around you and enjoy the laughter.
- Give. Throughout the last few months I’ve gone through my kids’ clothes and toys, my clothes, my books, and other things, and I’ve found new homes for them. It feels great!
When I change my attitude, it’s amazing how everything else changes. Thankfulness, playfulness, and generosity go a long way, and all of these are great examples for our kids!
In fact, our example is the best example. I love this quote by A.A. Milne in Winnie the Pooh: “Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” I think you’ll find the same to be true of your children. Even though their hearts are small in size they can overflow with gratitude when they see you (us!) showing them how it’s done.
Steps You can Take
- Take three minutes to be thankful.
- Play!
- Clean out a drawer or closet with the intention of giving to others.
Daily Prayer
Dear Lord,
Help me to remember that my example as a parent is what matters most to my kids. Help me to see each day as an opportunity for thankfulness, drawing close to my family, and connecting with my community. May you speak through my example.
In Jesus name, amen.
Resources You Might Like:
My First Gratitude Journal
Growing Grateful Kids
Outlive Your Life
How to Find Time to Clean During Your Day: Balanced Series Day 6
How to Find an Hour’s Worth of Cleaning Time in the Random Moments of Your Day
I don’t have hours a day to clean . . . although since I have a college-aged son, a husband, a grandma, and three kids six-years-old and under at home, I wish I did!
Instead, I’ve developed the habit of using random minutes throughout the day to clean. Here’s what I’ve done in the last week:
- Unloaded the dishwasher while waiting for my daughter’s bagel to toast.
- Picked up three toys as I’m walking across the living room to call the kids down for dinner.
- Sorted the rubber bands and bobby pins as I’m brushing my teeth.
- Picked up all the empty water bottles and papers in my car as I’m grabbing my purse to go inside.
- Sorted through mail as I’m browning the hamburger for tonight’s spaghetti.
- Took dirty clothes from my bathroom to the laundry room on the way to make my morning coffee.
- Folded laundry when I’m on a business call.
- Swept the floor as I helped my daughter with her homework.
It’s amazing how these little things add up! And when I see a straightened pantry (done while I was waiting for pasta to boil) it makes me want to tackle the crumbs on the counters. It’s amazing how the little things add up!
How about you? How do you use those random minutes throughout the day to clean?
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you for the random moments throughout my day. Help me to make the most of them and to recognize them for what they are: little blessings.
Resources You Might Like:
Easy Green Living
Home Cleaning Made Easy
The Naturally Clean Home
Taking Care of Your Calendar, So Your Calendar Takes Care of You: Balanced Series Day 5
Taking Care of Your Calendar, So Your Calendar Takes Care of You
I have a best friend I connect with every day. I check in with her, and she gives me guidance. I need lots of guidance.
OK, it’s not really a “she” but an “it.” It’s my calendar, and I give her/it a lot of attention. How?
I give her space. She likes air. She likes not to be crowded.
I give her priority. She likes to know that what’s she’s doing is important. Time is precious and should not be wasted. She knows how quickly her pages flip and insists what’s most important must come first.
I give her flexibility. She knows that life doesn’t always go how it’s planned. She knows that when she is rigid she will break easily. I give her room to bend.
I give her form. She knows that evenings are for family dinners, except for Teen MOPS night and AWANAs night. She knows Sundays are for church and rest. She knows mornings are for homeschool and writing is for the afternoon. (My oldest homeschooler is in kindergarten, so two hours of dedicated learning plus various activities during the day is enough.)
Because I have “formed” first, the “filling” becomes easier. I can say no to evening activities or early morning requests because I’ve already set my priorities.
I’ve also given up a lot:
- I rarely watch TV. (Our TV doesn’t even have cable.)
- I rarely shop.
- I don’t have much “me” time (except for naps).
- I don’t do a lot of running around town because I know time is precious.
- I only get a pedicure once a year, and I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had my nails done.
Of course I’m willing to give up these things because I’m so satisfied on what I choose to do. Many people see their calendar as an enemy, and there’s only conflict. I choose to treat my calendar like my best friend, and she is.
It’s important you see, because when you take care of your calendar, your calendar takes care of you. I’m busy, yes, but I’m at peace. I’ve chosen what I want to fill my life and time with, and I go to sleep at night knowing that I can look forward to the next day because I’ve chosen how to spend it.
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you for all the opportunities my family and I have to take part in. Please give me clarity as I prioritize and schedule those into my calendar, and help me to leave room for you.
Resources You Might Like:
Women Living Well
There’s No Place Like Working from Home
Organizing from the Inside Out
How To Know God’s Call For Your Life: Balanced Series Day 4
How To Know God’s Call For Your Life
For the last twenty years I’ve balanced many things: being a writing, homeschooling my kids, and working with a crisis pregnancy center/teen mom support group. For most of the years I thought THOSE THINGS were my “ministry.” After all, those were the things that impacted others, drew them to Christ, and made a difference.
But in the last few years (since the 2012 Allume conference), I’ve wondered if what God has called me to do goes to even a deeper level than that. Yes, God has called me to all of those things, but maybe His greater plan is to use me for a model for other women. Maybe He wants to use me to say:
- God has a big plan for your life.
- Your children are a wonderful part of that plan.
- Serving others in your work/ministry are another wonderful part of that plan.
- Doing both together benefits both your kids and your work.
- After all, the best way to teach your kids to “walk in the calling God has placed on your life” is for them to see you doing it.
And it’s funny that God has placed all of this on my heart now, because just a few hours ago I came across this verse:
So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Ephesians 5:15-17 (NLT)
Or as it says in The Message version of the Bible:
So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times! Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.
I love to write. I love to raise my kids. I love homeschooling and serving teenage moms, but maybe the overarching call for my life just may be to be a voice, urging other women to “understand what the Lord wants you to do.”
How do I know this is my call?
- It excites me.
- It is in line with what God has asked me to do—where He’s led me.
- Women respond, are encouraged, and are drawn closer to Christ.
How do you know your call?
- It excites you.
- It is in line with God has asked you to do—where He’s led you.
- Others respond, are encouraged, and are drawn closer to Christ.
So, what do you think? What is the call God has placed on your life?
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, please help me to recognize the call you’ve placed on my life. Give me the courage to pursue it. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Resources You Might Like:
Buy the Field: Find, Follow, and Finish God’s Call for Your Life
The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life
Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence
How My Little Kids Help Me In My Work: Balanced Series Day 3
How My Little Kids Help Me In My Work
I’ve had kids in the home for twenty-four years. I’ve been writing (working) from home for twenty years. So everything I’ve accomplished as an author has been with kids at home. My kids help me in with my work—they really do.
- They give me material to write about. I don’t know what I would write about if I didn’t have them!
- They help me clean. OK, so the cleaning they do involves THEIR stuff. (And I have to remind them over and over to pick it up.)
- They give me book ideas. Alyssa (three) told me that I need to write a story about a dancing doll and a polar bear. (I still have to work on that one.)
The important thing isn’t the amount of help that your kids actually do, but instead that they feel as if they’re a part of it. Because someday, when they get older, their ideas, work, and help will be valuable!
Just thinking about this makes me think about ways I can do a better job at involving them:
- Talking to the kids about my work/books and asking for suggestions.
- Getting them involved in “work” tasks, such as opening the mail.
- Letting them know they “why” behind what we’re doing. For example, I’m taking them to Nashville for a work trip. Yes, they’ll be able to see their cousins, but I’m going to do better at explaining what type of work Mommy will be doing while they’re playing.
With my older three kids they grew up understanding that servicing others through work and service was something we all did together. I’m excited to teach my younger kids the same!
How about you? How do you involve your kids in your work?
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, help me to look at each opportunity as a chance to involve my kids in my work and my day. Help them to learn from me, and help me to be a good example to my children. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Resources You Might Like:
Mom’s Ultimate Family Organizer
I’m a Work-at-Home Mommy—You Can Too!
What’s Your Lane?
How to Make Working from Home Work: Balanced Series Day 2
How to Make Working from Home Work
Over the years I’ve put a lot of thought, sacrifice, and even money into figuring how to make working from home work. Just yesterday I was telling a friend, “How amazing is it that I get to do what I love [write] while also getting to spend a large portion of my day with my children?”
I’m here when my kids wake up in the morning. I’m the first person they see when they come downstairs. I take them for walks. We homeschool and play board games. I fold their little T-shirts from the dryer and set dinner before them every night. I tuck them in bed.
This doesn’t come without challenges. With a six-year-old and two three-year-olds there is a lot of noise and a lot of mess. It’s sometimes hard to concentrate, and I’ve resorted to hiring outside help.
- I hire a housekeeper to come once a week.
- I hire a babysitter to come many times a week, during the day.
- I use Litfuse Publicity to be my extra hands and feet. They upload my blogs, manage my website, book guests for my radio show, etc.
None of this has happened overnight. I’ve sought out help in small ways, and I’ve built up over time. I’ve taken each step once my income has been able to sustain it. And the truth is knowing that I have others counting on me paying them has helped me be diligent about my work, too. I can’t play around on Facebook or computer games all day. I need money coming in to support those who make it possible for me to do what I do.
The one tool I depend on is my handy-dandy calendar. I use iCal on my Mac to keep track of where I need to be when. I don’t schedule anything unless I consult this first. I set up blocks when I knew the babysitter’s coming (or when my wonderful husband will have the kids), and then I schedule my work into those slots.
Things don’t always go as planned, but at least I have a plan that propels me in the right direction!
You also may notice:
- Not every slot is full. There is time to homeschool, to cook, to clean, to play outside.
- I schedule in time with friends. That large purple section in the afternoon on Friday was actually a phone call with a friend/fellow writer. We chatted for hours as the kids played. It filled me up!
- I focus on a few important things. My life revolves around my kids, my writing, friends/church, and mentoring teen moms. That’s enough. I say no to a lot of things so I can say yes to the things that God has called me to. The things most important to me.
Whenever I start feeling anxious or worried, I go back to Ecclesiastes 4:6, “Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.” Yes, there are many additional ways I can give and serve, but one handful is enough, thank you very much.
How about you? Do you have a calendar that helps you keep track of your life and goals? I’d love to hear about it!
Steps You can Take:
- You are in control of your calendar. You choose what to add in or take off.
- Making a plan is the first step to having a successful work-at-home week!
- Start small. If you’re going to hire help, do so in small chunks. Take on what you can sustain.
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, I thank you that you have given me the desire and the potential to make my work matter. I thank you that I’m also able to be home and love and support my family. I can only take steps to success with You leading and guiding. Please lead me today.
Resources You Might Like:
Women Living Well
There’s No Place Like Working from Home
Organizing from the Inside Out
Looking Ahead to Tomorrow To Set Goals for Today: Balanced Series Day 1
Looking Ahead to Tomorrow To Set Goals for Today
It’s so easy to get stuck in each day. To think about today’s laundry (piles!), today’s dinner (no idea!), and today’s to-do list (too long!). In my book Balanced, I encouraged parents to sit down and discuss their family goals. I’ve done this often in the past, and I know it’s something I need to do at least once a year. My family grows and changes, and my work opportunities also grow and change. It only makes sense to spend time with God and re-clarify family goals, too.
The Question:
Think about your family ten years from now. Where do you want to be?
My kids are currently ages twenty-four, twenty-one, nineteen, six, three, and three. Ten years from now I might have more grandkids, and my two single, older kids might be married. This reminds me to enjoy the time I have with them now!
My younger kids will be sixteen, thirteen, and thirteen. My plan is to still be homeschooling, to still be involved in our church, and to be discovering my kids’ gifts and talents.
In my career I hope to be writing . . . although maybe not as much. I’d like to travel with our family. John and I love road trips! I’d also like to expose my kids to the needs of the world, and hopefully we’ll be doing mission trips.
Basically, this shows me to stay on the path that I’m on with homeschooling, writing, and travel, but it’s the term “mission trips” that stood out to me most. Through Awana my little kids are learning Scripture, and I need to be joining them. Also, it’ll be important to start now to open up the world to them, and I’ve already thought of some “mission-minded” children’s books I’m going to pull off of my bookshelf to read. And the truth is . . . I also thought of a few book ideas I want to write concerning missionaries!
Considering ten years from now reminds me of things I need to do to prepare my children to impact the world for Christ must start today! And the things I need to do to prepare myself!
Steps You can Take:
- Spend time with my older kids while they are still unmarried, building great memories.
- Learn Scripture with my young kids to prepare for future ministry.
- Read missionary books to help my kids understand how the world needs Jesus!
How about you? How would you answer that question?
Today’s Prayer
Dear Lord, thank you for the ability to plan and dream for your glory. Thank you for the reminder that what I do today will shape tomorrow. And finally, thank you for the reminder that any plans you have for me and my family include plans for your WORLD!
In Jesus name,
Amen
Resources You Might Like:
Around the World Coloring Book
Children Around the World
I Heard Good News Today
You can Change the World Today
Join Me for a ‘Balanced’ Party and Challenge!
A ‘Balanced’ Party and Challenge!
I love spring. It’s a time of newness, growth, refreshment. This year, I want it to be a time of rethinking the way you juggle working and parenting. My book Balanced just released, and I thought March would be the perfect season to challenge you to spring clean your life, to revamp the way you’ve been prioritizing your kids, work, volunteering, and other commitments you’ve made. You’re invited to take part in my challenge—and it’s really easy to commit to the eleven-day challenge!
BUT before I spill the details about the eleven-day challenge, help me kick off the challenge at my upcoming Balanced author chat party! On Monday, March 10 (that’s next Monday!), I’ll be hosting a chat about the many struggles moms go through to find balance and how you can begin to implement some change into your life. Of course, there will be plenty of fun giveaways too: books, gift certificates, and more! RSVP HERE!
Now, let’s talk about the eleven-day challenge. I’ll be taking the challenge along with you and updating my blog each day with my progress. I hope you’ll do the same! All the details about what’s involved and how you can sign up (plus freebies you’ll receive for taking the challenge) can be found here. I can’t wait to read about your progress!
Did you hear the good news? My new book Balanced is available now via Amazon and Barnes & Noble for only $2.99 (digital only)!
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