Are You Keeping Secrets from Your Husband?

I was delighted to discover I had been quoted in an article for American Baby Magazine: Are You Keeping Secrets from Your Husband? By Alisa Bowman, June 2009 Issue

She had a crush — and it was mutual!

When Tricia Goyer’s high school boyfriend e-mailed her out of the blue, the Kalispell, Montana, mother of three didn’t know what to do at first. “I was suddenly struggling with renewed feelings for him,” she says.

Fess up? A one-way crush (as in, your movie-star fantasy or secret giddiness about a dad you see at the playground) needn’t come out of the vault. But if there’s two-way flirting that turns to real romantic conversation (or action), that’s a whole other ballgame. “Just because two people love each other doesn’t mean they never fantasize about someone else,” says Vee Alexander, a marital and family therapist in Sherman Oaks, California. “But it becomes a problem when you act on the fantasy.”

What she did: Tricia told her husband, but it wasn’t easy. She cried. He cried too. Then they hugged and prayed together. “When I confessed everything and realized my husband still loved me, I realized that I had never loved him more,” Tricia says. “We worked through this together, and our marriage is stronger because of it.”

For the rest of the story … check out Generation NeXt Marriage where I talk about this experience and many others related to marriage.