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Writer’s Desk: Melissa Hannigan

Writer’s Desk with Melissa Hannigan

Melissa Hannigan holds a master of arts degree in counseling from Midwestern Theological Seminary. She is the wife of John Hannigan, executive director of Celebrate Kids. They have been married for 17 years and have four children. Before becoming a full-time homeschool mom, Melissa worked with teen girls to overcome abuse, addictions, and trauma. She is passionate about helping people discover God’s best for their lives. Melissa is an Associate of Celebrate Kids and Ignite the Family.

More about Inconvenient Parenting

Hope and help for shaping Christ-honoring future generations.

Families are like little churches. They are meant to be places of discipleship, worship, and rest—places where we can fine-tune the gifts God’s given us so we can bless the world. They can be full of surprises and joy. But family life can also be heartbreaking and downright discouraging. Trained counselor and mother Melissa Hannigan knows how hard it is to cast and keep a vision of rich family life. How do we cultivate a family culture that’s vibrant and encouraging—a refuge amidst life’s storms?

Melissa is passionate about helping families build healthy, strong, God-honoring homes. In Inconvenient Parenting, she shares twelve qualities that are the key ingredients to that desired end:

Wisdom — Wonder — Vitality — Sensitivity — Flexibility ­­—Curiosity —

Creativity — Imagination — Inventiveness — Playfulness — Humor — Joy

Melissa shows us why, though inconvenient at times, it’s necessary to encourage and infuse these traits in our children and reveals how we can unknowingly discourage these qualities. Each chapter concludes with practical activities, book recommendations, and discussion questions to help parents immediately apply the principles discussed.

Become more connected to God and one another through the rich wisdom and help offered in Inconvenient Parenting.

Purchase a copy of Inconvenient Parenting.

Scroll below to see how you can win one of five copies of Inconvenient Parenting! 

Excerpt from Inconvenient Parenting

How do we teach wisdom to our kids?

Wisdom starts with humility. We must first admit that we need help because we don’t possess wisdom within ourselves. We must be willing to be a student, desiring to learn and grow in knowledge. We never get to a place where we have learned everything we need to know, right? Modeling this type of humility to our children is an important first step.

We must hunger for knowing more about the world around us, and especially God’s Word. Do you have a hobby, or have you learned a new skill? Is there a Bible study that you have enjoyed lately? Have you demonstrated to your kids that you desire to keep learning and growing, or are you content believing that you already know everything you need to
know? If you’re reading this book, then you are demonstrating a desire to learn and to grow. That’s a great example to your kids!

I learned in the last ten years how to crochet. My children witnessed my frustrating beginning and pitiful first attempts at scarves and baby blankets. But they also witnessed me grow and develop in my ability, mostly through seeking more experienced friends who helped me along the way. Also, thanks to YouTube, I was able to teach myself some new crocheting skills. I hope my kids understand that this mom still has a lot to learn, and I am humbly willing to admit that and willing to put in the time and effort to continue to learn.

For you, it may not be crocheting; it could be birdwatching, tennis, or even the history of ancient Egypt that you’re learning alongside your kids as they study. As a homeschool mom, I get a lot of opportunities to say, “I don’t know, let’s research that!” My family is not under any delusion that I know everything, but they do know that what I don’t know, I can learn. More is caught than taught, and if we demonstrate an ongoing interest in learning, our kids will catch the excitement for learning too.

Ultimately, we want our children to see us going to the source of all wisdom. They need to see us seeking God’s Word for wisdom and direction. They need to hear us talk about what God is teaching us because we must never stop learning and growing, especially when it comes to the living and active Word of God. If we desire our children to seek godly wisdom above all, then they must see us doing that as well.

Maybe that means you occasionally include your children in your time of Scripture study. It may be more convenient to do your studying in private—trust me, I love my quiet time alone, but modeling this habit before your family, no matter how noisy it may be, helps them see the value that you place on God’s Word.

But we cannot simply stop at showing our children the importance of learning new things. That is only the first step toward wisdom. They must also see us seeking to apply that knowledge with discernment. They need to see us taking what we are learning in God’s Word and applying it in our daily lives. They need to hear us talking about relying on the Holy Spirit for discernment and praying for strength to implement whatever God is asking us to change. No matter the age of your children, they will benefit from seeing a parent who humbly seeks God for truth and then shares about the ways they are applying that truth! This is true wisdom!

How do we empower our children to seek out truth?

The first step is to become students of our kids and discover how they learn best. In her book 8 Great Smarts, 9 Dr. Kathy describes the eight ways children learn. She calls these different learning styles their “smarts” because it describes the natural way that they are wired to receive information. Some children are music smart and love listening to different genres of music or using instruments from other cultures—these children will be inspired to learn in musical ways. Another child will thrive outside in nature—being surrounded by creation, and therefore an outdoor environment, makes learning more engaging for them. Our job as parents is to figure out how they are wired to encourage their unique style of learning. When we understand how our children are created uniquely it becomes much easier to create settings for learning.

Another great step in helping our children become wise is to introduce them to various ideas and information. Charlotte Mason, a pioneer in early childhood education in the 1900s, believed that a child’s mind was just as hungry as their stomach and that a parent’s job is to provide variety for them to feast on.10 This feasting will look different depending on the stage of your child’s development.

When our children are babies, we can provide visually stimulating environments, talk to them often, play music, and read picture books to them. Elementary-age children are eager to learn new things; for parents, this is an ideal time to capitalize on this desire. Read engaging stories, find out what they are interested in, and learn about it together. We went through a period where one child was fascinated by the Titanic. We read books, studied the history of the era, and watched documentaries. These activities reinforce the message that in our home, when we are interested in a topic, we will study about it together!

This is also the perfect time to help your children learn how to identify reputable sources of information. Wisdom is not just the gathering of facts but involves discerning where to go for that information and what to do with that knowledge. This is something we must intentionally teach our children.

By the teenage years and into young adulthood, children should understand where to go for reputable truth and scholarly sources. Hopefully by this point, they understand the value of God’s Word and its infallibility. We must help them develop a biblical worldview that stands firm on the unchanging Word of God. Once their worldview is firm, it is time to encourage studying a variety of cultures and viewpoints that don’t necessarily align with their worldview. Invite people of different cultures and views into your home and learn more about them. Help your teen learn how to think critically about current events. They must be able to defend their faith, so introducing apologetics is helpful. Encourage your young teen to travel. Mission trips are a great way to see that the world is so much bigger than they realized. Even if your family can’t physically go anywhere, there are boundless resources that can transport us to foreign lands. The point is to help our children value understanding and insight.

It seems so simple, right? Just model a love of learning, expose them to lots of valuable information to feast on, help them develop a strong biblical worldview that filters all things through the lens of Scripture, and they will be wise. Okay, maybe that doesn’t sound simple, but it is doable. So why aren’t we as Christian parents doing a better job of this? (I’m looking in the mirror when I ask this.) May I gently suggest that while we have the best of intentions, we let lesser things distract us?

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How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

 

How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

I hate to say it, but back-to-school expenses are coming. Summer has been flying by and, depending on where you are, the school year is quickly creeping up on us. Here in Georgia, school started the first week of August!

I know for me, last year was hard. Maybe that was because it was the first school year for our family of five–I wasn’t exactly sure how to budget for it. Or maybe it was because there really are so many various and unexpected school-related expenses that happen during the year.

That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you have at least $100 of wiggle room in your budget each month for the school year and especially back-to-school expenses. I know that sounds like a lot of money (and it definitely is.) However, chances are, when you look back over last year’s budget, you’ll notice that you come very close if not over the $100 a month for all those last-minute purchases.

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

Here are just a few ways that can hopefully help you figure out how to find an extra $100 (or more!) in your monthly budget for back-to-school expenses:

1. Cell Phones

Regardless if it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family on your phone plan, paying for cell service can be a little crazy. That’s why if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you switch over to a company like Republic Wireless (who I personally use) or Ting (several of my friends use them and love them).

You still get to have an awesome smartphone but without the high cell phone bill (mine is only $25/mo with data!).

2. Insurance

Yeah, I know, you don’t want to talk about this subject because it’s one of those “necessary evils.” However, if you haven’t called around lately to gather new quotes for your different insurance needs, I highly suggest you do. You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year just from a simple phone call.

3. Subscription Services

It’s happened to me before. I completely forget that I have a subscription service deducting money from my bank account. It’s like I put it on autopilot and fail to evaluate if it’s a necessary expense or not.

The next thing to do is check for any recurring subscriptions, maybe now is the time to evaluate if they are still necessary. Spend a little time going through and canceling the unnecessary ones. This should add a little more wiggle room to your budget for those back-to-school expenses.

4. Be Inconvenienced

I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, we are just paying way too much for convenience. It’s possible that if we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced, we could save $1,000’s of dollars a year!

One of my favorite ways to be inconvenienced is by not using paper towels. A few years ago, we switched from using paper towels regularly to using bar mop cloths. That one small change has resulted in saving us hundreds over the years! We only have to buy one roll of paper towels twice a year (for draining meats like bacon or ground beef.) Honestly, it has affected us very little.

So, look around your home and find little ways that you could save money by simply being “inconvenienced.” You could end up adding a whole lot more to your school budget than just a $100 a month!

What to Do with Your Savings

Those are just a few ways that you can cut your expenses before the start of the school year. But the key to not going broke this school year is to remember that once you add that wiggle room to your budget, as a result, you must make sure that you add a line item accounting for that.

For instance, let’s say you cut your cell phone bill from $100 to $30 a month (yes, that’s totally possible with Republic Wireless or Ting.) Now you have $70 of wiggle room in your budget that must be accounted for.

Now you’d want to add a line item like “School Miscellaneous” or something with $70 as the total.

Example:

  • Mortgage: $1,000
  • Utilities: $200
  • Car Payment: $400
  • Insurance: $150
  • Cell Phone: $30
  • Groceries: $500
  • School Miscellaneous: $70

Then whenever those random, “Hey we need each child to bring in a snack for our upcoming event on Thursday” happens, you’ll have the money ready to go in your budget. Just make sure that you account for that expense and deduct the total from your category for back-to-school expenses.

Hopefully, this helps you if you’re getting geared up for the back-to-school season. Even if this isn’t a stage of life you’re currently dealing with, send this onto a friend that is in this season to give them a boost!

What is a piece of advice that you could offer someone else for not going broke during the school year?

{More about Jessi Fearon}

10714251_730966356979424_3359439497490871642_oJessi Fearon is the founder of the popular personal finance blog, Real Life on a Budget, where she shares her family’s real-life on a budget in order to inspire others to learn how to manage their money better. Jessi’s work has been featured on Buzzfeed, Rockstar Finance, TIME/Motto Magazine, Money Saving Mom, and The Penny Hoarder. Jessi resides in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia with her husband Pat and their three children Conner, Collin, and Charlotte and a rescue dog named Belle.

 

 

Additional Resources

How to Avoid Going Broke This School Year
Saving Money with Groupon Coupons
7 Tips for Living on $7 a Day
Restoring the Art of the Piggy Bank Savings
30 Cheap & Fun Date Night Ideas

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Just Be Available to God

Just Be Available to God
Just Be Available to God

Just Be Available

If you want God to work in your life, then just be available! Be available AND believe He will move on your behalf. You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. When you learn to trust God completely and trust in His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you down the right path. Let me tell you how I know!

Fifty-two years ago, there was a woman about to give birth. She was young and didn’t know how she could afford a child without her parent’s help. She hadn’t talked to her former boyfriend in months–she didn’t even know how to reach him. How could she tell him she was having his child?

This young woman attended church some, yet her dialogue with God was stilted. How could God let this happen to her? What would her life be like now?

A baby girl was born, and upon holding her child this young lady knew things would be okay. Perhaps this baby was a gift, not a burden as she supposed. So this woman raised her daughter the best she could, and while she wanted to give her child more than she had…

History has a way of repeating itself.

When the daughter became a young woman she found herself in the same situation—living at home, pregnant, scared. The daughter knew she could raise this child. After all, her mom had done it. But what would her life be like? How could God let this happen to her?

If you haven’t guessed already – I was the daughter.

I was born to a single mom, becoming a single mom myself as a teenager. At age seventeen, God gave me a son. My boyfriend was out of the picture, and I faced raising a child alone with little education, no money, and – maybe, according to the world – little hope for my future.

Now if you take this story at face value, I am nothing more than a statistic.

According to government research, most daughters of young mothers go on to be teen mothers themselves. They face lives of hardship, living on welfare for the most part—becoming a burden rather than an asset to society.

Yet, I am not a statistic. And you know why I’m not a statistic? Because God doesn’t do statistics.

Did you hear that?

God doesn’t do statistics. In fact, He likes to blow them out of the water.

You see, God has a history of seeing something that no one else does. Like seeing a king in a shepherd boy named David, seeing an apostle in a young zealot named Paul, and seeing a mighty warrior in a frightened nobody named Gideon.

God has X-ray eyes that see right through any outward characteristics or any national statistics. His X-ray eyes scan down to the heart.

And what did God see? He must have seen something worthwhile. Because . . .

At age 52, I’m a multi-published author of magazine articles, Bible study notes, curriculum, and many books. My book for teenage mothers was nominated for a prestigious award. I’m a national speaker, traveling to share God’s good news.

While in my twenties I helped to launch a Crisis Pregnancy Center, helped start numerous abstinence programs, and launched support groups for Teen Moms.

Just Be Available

Now, if I were not a believer, all these would be things I could really tout. But honestly, I can say that it doesn’t have to do with me at all.

It’s about:

  • A BIG God with BIG dreams.
  • A God who has made an agreement with me that is eternal, final, and sealed.
  • A God who is constantly looking after my safety and success.
  • A God who is strong in my weakness.
  • A God who sees the future sees the past and has a perfect plan for me.

Well, I guess the whole truth is that I do have something to do with it. It’s only a little something, but I guess it makes a pretty big difference.

See, God can be all those things in my life, but only if I let Him.

There is one thing I must do . . . and that is Be Available. Of course, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Here I am, God – use me.” I didn’t just clear my schedule and wait for God to show up.

Rather, the steps toward my availability were a work in progress. They started on the day I was six months pregnant and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I like to look at that as Day One.

In those 34 years from then to now, I’ve learned a lot.

Lesson #1: Sometimes being available means stepping away from the status quo.

For me, that meant moving 1,000 miles away. Seriously, 1,000 miles. You see after I gave my heart to the Lord, I birthed a beautiful son. Not too long later, God gave me an amazing, Christian husband and two more children. Then He asked us to move . . . (in a roundabout way.)

First, God put us into a community of like-minded people. Our friends longed for a simple life away from the hurry and worry in California.

Next, He placed a desire in our hearts to raise our children in a better place – a place called Montana. We’d talked about it with our friends, we’d dreamt about it, and hoped that many someday it would come true.

Then, we decided to pray. My husband and I got on our knees and prayed that IF it was God’s desire He would make it clear. John had just graduated from college, and I was raising three small children under the age of 5.

We knew we’d be leaving our families, leaving our friends, leaving everything we knew. We had no job in Montana, no money to move; in fact, we’d never even been there before! Still, we had a desire. One we couldn’t shake.

At the time, my husband sold computers on commission in a small store. He’d usually sell 1-2 a week. He went to work the next day after our joint-prayer, and sold 11 computers! Enough to pay off our current bills with enough left over to move and live on. It was the confirmation we’d been looking for.

So we did it. We packed up our three kids and moved. Our families thought we were crazy.

They were sure we were joining some commune or something. We saw Kalispell for the first time as we drove in with our stuff. Within the week, we were renting a house. Within three weeks, my husband had a far better job than he had in California. And within six months, we’d purchased our first house. In less than a year, we were plugged into an amazing church and ministering to children in ways we’d always dreamed of.

Beautiful quote from Tricia Goyer's 3 Part Series- Just be available to God

We serve a BIG God with BIG dreams.

You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. But when you trust that fact. Trust God completely. Trust His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you to the right path.

Seeing God at work and what He did with our lives when we were available made me hungry for more. I wanted to experience God at work like that again.

Henry and Mel Blackaby say, “Watching the activity of God from a distance can never compare with the thrill of being fully involved in the Spirit’s active work.”

You have to want God. Not just want to work for Him or learn about Him, but truly want Him. You have to want to experience Him at work in your life. You have to be hungry for what only He can give—a hope and a future.

Prayer

God, I want to trust you. I want to be available for the big plans you have for me. Lead me to the right path. I am hungry for a hope and a future.

What BIG DREAM is God whispering into your heart? Maybe, like me, you feel God pulling you towards words, towards writing and speaking and sharing His message. If that sounds familiar then maybe you need to join me in the Write That Book club!

Making your writing dreams become a reality is tough. You have ideas but you wonder if any of them are good. You have no idea how to connect with agents and editors, and what in the world is book proposal anyway?

I’m here to help, and I’ve invited some of my friends to help you, too. They are professional agents, editors, authors, and marketing and publicity team members. They’re the best of the best in the Christian publishing industry. Together, we want to help you reach your dreams.

To help you do this, I’ve created Write That Book. This premier group provides education, inspiration, and connection with other writers and experts. Learn all the tricks of the trade while getting your personal questions answered.

Over thirty experts will be available throughout the month to answer your questions. Their decades of experience will be at your fingertips. They not only want to help you, but they also want to get to know you better. After all, your words might just be the ones they’re looking for!

Learn more here:

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Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

Gaining Wisdom By Working with Teen Moms

Every Thursday night our family would load up in the car and head to inner-city Little Rock. This included me, my husband, our homeschooled 17-year-old son, our toddler, and sometimes, my college-age daughter. We set out on a special mission, to serve teen moms in the area through a program called Teen MOPS.  We have continued this mission for many years now.

Teen MOPS is part of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International. I first heard about Teen MOPS when I was part of a regular MOPS group at our church. As a former teen mom, I loved the idea of helping those who are where I used to be. I know how hard it is to find advice on everything from dealing with a boyfriend to finishing school, to parenting while also living with parents.

When I first started mentoring teen moms many, many years go I was worried that I wouldn’t have all the answers. Now I know I never will, but the contribution I make is pointing them in the right direction. I am gaining wisdom by working with teen moms. And I can help them learn how to make wise choices…which helps all areas of their lives!

According to dictionary.com, wisdom is: “the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight.”

Mentors in our program remind young moms that they don’t have to stay where they are. They teach young women that they don’t have to live on the edge, balancing between right and wrong. Instead, they can move into a spacious place in a solid relationship with Jesus.

Not only are we helping the teens, but there is much we can learn.  We can be gaining wisdom by working with teen moms.

Do not think you have to have all the answers or know every little detail before you begin reaching out and helping.  You too can be gaining wisdom by helping a teen mom!

Do you know a teen mom? Download and send this postcard to her!

 

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You may also like Teen Mom, You are Not Alone. There is hope, there is help, there is joy. I am here for you.

Teen Mom You are not alone- Tricia Goyer

About Teen Mom

Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think

Everything changes the day you discover you’re going to be a mom. It’s not just yourself that you think about—you have a child to care for, too. While you wouldn’t trade your child for the world, some days are just hard. Baby-daddy drama, dealing with your parents, and worries about school, work, and your future slam you. Your friends can’t relate to your little family, and you wonder if God has turned His back on you, too.

Tricia Goyer understands. A mom at age 17, Tricia remembers what it felt like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. She’s also been the coordinator of a teen mom support group for over twelve years, and she’s cheered on many young moms—from all walks of life—through their journey.

In Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think, Tricia pours out her heart and shares advice for the hard things you face. She also longs to provide encouragement, reminding you that you can be the mom your child deserves—not in your own strength, but in the strength God provides.

Other Blog Posts I’ve Written About Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

 

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You Are Not Alone | An Interview about ‘Teen Mom’

 

You Are Not Alone - An Interview About 'Teen Mom'
You Are Not Alone – An Interview About ‘Teen Mom’

Teen Moms, I want you to know you are not alone! Read my interview with Christian Book Previews about Teen Mom: You’re Strong Than You Think to learn more.

CBP: Teen Mom is a book for teen moms, written by a former teen mom. You also interviewed young moms all over the country. Why was capturing the heart of young mothers important for you? Why did you want to write a book just for them?

As a former teen mom, I remember what it was like not to “fit in.” At seventeen I still felt like a kid, but I had a child to raise. It seems that no matter where I went, I always felt like the odd man out. At Lamaze class, everyone was with a spouse, and I was with my mom. Parenting books had ideas like, “Have your husband watch the baby while you take a long bath.”

That wasn’t an option for me, and it’s also not for the young moms I work with now. I wanted to write a book just for them — to give them a voice concerning their unique struggles, such as dealing with creepy boyfriends and juggling work and school. I also wanted to show them that they’re important and they matter—even if they don’t fit the mold of what society expects a “new mom” to be.

CBP: In this book, you share your experience as a teen mother, what were some of the hardest things you faced as a young mother?

I’d say the hardest thing to deal with were my feelings of shame. There are many sins out there, but pregnancy out of wedlock is one that sticks out in front of you, literally. You can’t hide it. I remember the looks of other students in school. The looks of people in the grocery store. It made me want to escape into my bedroom and remain there for nine months!

Another difficult thing was the lack of confidence in society. I’d get rude comments from old ladies in the grocery store saying that I wasn’t doing something right. One lady made a rude comment about my son having a pacifier! Also, I felt I wasn’t “heard” by professionals such as my son’s doctor. I took Cory in because he wasn’t feeling well, and the doctor dismissed it as colic. They didn’t trust my word that something wasn’t right. It turned out that my son had spinal meningitis, and it was only because of my insistence for them to take a closer look that he didn’t die.

It’s hard enough being a good mom, but I always felt on display—like I had to prove myself.

CBP: When did you get involved in working with young moms in your community?

In 1999, I helped launch a Crisis Pregnancy Center in my hometown of Kalispell, Montana. Right away we realized that we needed to do more than just provide free pregnancy tests and counseling—choosing to carry one’s child is just the beginning. I wanted to help moms be the best they could be. So I helped launch a Teen MOPS program. Teen MOPS is part of the bigger organization MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International. In our first meeting, we started with two pregnant moms. The next week we had four.

After that, there were eight. Then the program really exploded. It was great because most of those from the first meetings were still attending . . . and by then they had toddlers. It was great to see the growing and learning taking place, not only with the kids but also with the moms.

CBP: What changes have you seen in the young moms you work with?

The first thing we often see is a softening of their attitudes. Some girls are scared when they first come in. They’ve been hurt and have a wall around their heart a mile high. They hardly talk and don’t want to participate . . . yet they come, and this tells me that we have something they’re looking for.

Once the attitudes change, it seems the heart isn’t far behind. Each meeting one of the leaders shares part of her personal testimony, but the main “evangelism” we do is just loving them as Jesus would, and showing how our lifestyle is different because of Him. We’ve seen girls start attending church and Bible Studies with the leaders. Some have given their hearts to Christ. It’s amazing what short personal stories and a little love can do.

Of course, there is also the personal growth of the moms. We’ve seen them finish high school, get jobs, find their own apartments, and interact with their kids on a better level. It’s like being an eyewitness to the world opening up before them.

CBP: Your book is endorsed by MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) International. How else are you working with MOPS to reach young mothers?

In addition to coordinating a Teen MOPS group in our town, I also help encourage the growth of other groups in my area and around the nation. I’m always available to talk to those who are interested in starting a new group. Also, I often speak at MOPS’ International Convention. Then there is Teen Mom, of course. I want to do everything I can to get this book into the hands of girls who need it—whether they’re part of a support group or not. It’s not that it’s “my book.” What I really want is for young moms to find hope for their future.

CBP: Teen Mom is all about the unique needs of a young mother, can you share some of their greatest needs?

Some of these needs include importance, growth, perspective, intimacy, and hope. Importance to know that no matter what society says, they can be great moms and a wonderful influence on their children.

Tricia Goyer encourages teen moms that they are not alone.

 

Growth is needed so that a mom doesn’t feel like she’s “stuck” because of this child. She needs to know that she can grow into the woman she’s always longed to be.

Also perspective is important because too often a teen mom only sees obstacles ahead. She needs to see that the future can be bright.

True intimacy is a big need because most girls get pregnant because they’re seeking this closeness with another person. They need to know that true intimacy is sharing your heart with another, including friends and family members.

And finally, what young moms need most is hope – hope that is found in Jesus Christ. I could come up with 1,001 ways for these young women to become good moms, but the best thing I can do is point them to faith in Jesus.

CBP: There is a lot of talk about the problem of teenage motherhood in our country; just how many young mothers are there?

According to teenpregnancy.org, there are 800,000 new teen mothers every year. That’s a lot of young women who need to know that they matter and that they can be good moms!

CBP: If you could choose one truth that young moms come away with after reading this book, what would it be?

It would be the truth that Jesus is the answer. He is the Prince Charming they’ve been longing for, and the peace that they’ve been struggling to find. He is the support and the strength for all the days they don’t feel like they can do this “mommy” thing – what they’ve been wanting, what their heart is longing for most. That’s what I want them to know more than anything.

Previously published at CBP.com

Do you know a teen mom? Download and send this postcard to her!

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About Teen Mom

Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think

Everything changes the day you discover you’re going to be a mom. It’s not just yourself that you think about—you have a child to care for, too. While you wouldn’t trade your child for the world, some days are just hard. Baby-daddy drama, dealing with your parents, and worries about school, work, and your future slam you. Your friends can’t relate to your little family, and you wonder if God has turned His back on you, too.

Tricia Goyer understands. A mom at age 17, Tricia remembers what it felt like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. She’s also been the coordinator of a teen mom support group for over twelve years, and she’s cheered on many young moms—from all walks of life—through their journey.

In Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think, Tricia pours out her heart and shares advice for the hard things you face. She also longs to provide encouragement, reminding you that you can be the mom your child deserves—not in your own strength, but in the strength God provides.

Additional Resources

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

 

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Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

When it comes to teen pregnancy, often we ask these two questions: if a teen finds themself facing an unplanned pregnancy are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices? We ask because we care. And as parents, we want to protect our kids from difficult situations and the consequences of poor decisions. 

Are you a mom or dad who’s wondering if you can make a difference in your child’s choice not to have sex prematurely? The answer is YES! And If you don’t want your daughter or son to be one of the one million teens who become parents every year, consider this:

Be a role model.

Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the boundaries of marriage? The saying “Do what I say, not what I do” never works. We have to set the standard we want our kids to emulate. The standard is God’s Word, not the current culture.

Talk about what love is—and isn’t!

Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love (no matter what they show on television). True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens they are responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won’t make him yours. A baby won’t make him stay.”

Remind kids it CAN happen to them.

Having sex, even so-called “protected” sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. And, yes, it’s possible—everyone can make good choices. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kid’s on how to make those choices. Talk openly with your child about sex and sexuality and remind them they are in control of their body—no matter what anyone else says.

Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.

Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, one in three young women get pregnant at least once before they turn twenty—good girls included.

Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.

Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.

Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.

Talk about setting boundaries and not putting themself in situations that will cause them to compromise those decisions. Help them make good plans for their future and stick to their goals. If possible, role-play conversations until they feel confident saying what needs to be said to avoid sexual situations. The more practice a person has in saying something, the easier it will be to say it when the time comes. Even if it feels awkward or silly, help your child find their own words for protecting their boundaries.

Talk about the media’s wrong messages.

The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Babies are a life-long responsibility, not a fashion accessory.

Encourage secondary purity.

Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said “yes” before. Today your child can make the right choice and choose abstinence. Even if they’ve been sexually active in the past, remind them that they can choose differently next time. Help them find forgiveness in Christ and build them up in the way to find the strength to avoid temptation in the future.

Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!

As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our kids. Don’t wait.

Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.

It’s so important for parents to open up a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages the media gives out?

Some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had were talking to my kids about sex. But those are also some of the most important ones. Not only did it help us to discuss this important topic, but it lead to other important topics and drew us closer to each other. When we care enough to breach difficult subjects with our kids they begin to understand our hearts better. Don’t miss this opportunity to build a lifelong relationship with your child. Remember, they will grow up one day and this conversation might be a crucial part of their life choices.

Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Although an unplanned pregnancy is something we would rather spare our child from, if your teen (or a teen you know) find’s themself in this situation, know that they can choose to parent and be successful. Teens can be good parents and a baby is always a blessing. We can choose to help a teen become a good parent by supporting them every step of the way.

Additional Resources

For more resources on supporting teen moms, you might want to read these posts:

Teen Mom, You Are Not Alone

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

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Breathtaking Suspense with Creston Mapes

Breathtaking Suspense with Creston Mapes

Little Do They Know, I Can See and Hear Everything!

Eighteen-year-old Hale Frodele is presumed braindead from a tragic church bus accident in which he lost his younger brother, Nate.

Little does anyone know—Hale hears and understands everything with crystal clarity.

Hale remembers when his mom died at age 44 of pancreatic cancer and his dad turned his back on God.

Hale understands that the unbeliever his dad remarried whispers bitterly that Hale is ‘pitiful’ and ‘ruining’ her marriage.

Hale knows his father has borrowed a large sum of money from a deranged loan shark named Sebastian and the payback is due in 48 hours.

Hale believes in his best friend Gilbert, who still visits him weekly, prays for his healing, and is beginning to realize something is very wrong in the Frodele household.

Hale is in here . . . and he has a mind-blowing story to tell.

With tension on every page, Amazon #1 Best-Selling author Creston Mapes demonstrates why he is a “Top Pick” among mystery, fiction, and thriller lovers.

Fans of Terri Blackstock, Charles Martin, Christy Barritt, Robert Whitlow, Karen Kingsbury, and Francine Rivers will love this thriller from award-winning and bestselling author Creston Mapes.

Purchase a copy of I Am In Here.

Connect with Creston Mapes

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram | BookBub

If you are enjoying the show, I have a quick favor to ask! If you haven’t yet hit the subscribe button and left a rating and a review on iTunes, please take a moment and do so! I love reading your reviews and it keeps the algorithms happy so new listeners can find the podcast as well!

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How to Walk Out Your Healing

The way you walk out your healing can affect not just your own life, but also the lives of your children. Facing our past mistakes and finding forgiveness and healing in Christ is so important. Today, I share I found healing through walking out my faith and how that affected our family.

How To Walk Out Your Healing
How To Walk Out Your Healing

 

Walk Out Your Healing

When my daughter was 13, I called her “mini-me.” When she answered the phone, people often thought it was me. Leslie has the same tone as me, and her voice carries the same inflections. Even though she had her own collection of CDs, she would often rifle through mine because she liked that music, too. She learned to put on makeup by watching me, and when she would see me engrossed in a good book, she would naturally want to read it. Even now that she is a grown adult, I see so much of myself in my daughter. She has many of my same convictions… And also some of my hang-ups.

When our kids are toddlers, we think it’s so sweet when they pick up a block and place it to their ear like a cell phone. But the older they get, the more they’re mimicking matters, and if they aren’t dealt with, the rock-solid bad habits in your life will most likely be theirs, too.

 

Walk Out Your Healing

In those days when you were slaves of sin, you weren’t concerned with doing what was right. And what was the result? It was not good, since now you’re ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Romans 6:20-22 NLT

What I love about that scripture is the fact that Paul isn’t trying to play down the past. Instead, he reminds fellow believers that what matters is what we are now free from the power of sin and slaves of God.

The word free here means “to liberate,” and this word has special meaning to me personally. Several years ago I wrote my first novel, From Dust and Ashes. It’s about liberation from a Nazi concentration camp from the points of view of both an American G.I. who opens the camp gates and a prisoner inside. To write the book, I interviewed both veterans and survivors alike. I also attended a ceremony in Austria organized by the survivors to celebrate their liberation 60 years after the fact!

Author Tricia Goyer shares the captivating story behind her book From Dust and Ashes

Walking In Freedom

These men and women — prisoners of the Nazis – had been near death, oppressed, and hopeless. Yet their victors came to open the gates and offered them not only hope but a future too. Once they walked from those gates, they were prisoners no more. They were liberated. They might revisit those times of bondage in their mind, but they no longer had to live behind the barbed wire. They did, however, have to realize their freedom and live in it, no longer behaving as if they were still in bondage. Likewise, if we don’t know the joy of true freedom in our hearts, how do we expect to lead our kids in the same freedom?

Kids go where we take them, they have no choice. How sad it would be if our own inner struggles pulled our kids back to our own past issues… Merely because we ourselves have not yet fully realized our freedom in Christ.

Walk Out Your Healing

It’s taken me years to deal with some of the issues from my past. I’ve attended Bible studies for women who’ve had abortions. I helped start a crisis pregnancy center in our community. I’ve spoken at purity retreats for young women. And I’ve mentored teen moms. For me, healing from my past involves helping others who face the same struggles. My heart is renewed when I help others find hope.

The additional benefit is that my children now have a mother who has wholeness in Christ. They’ve heard about my mistakes, and they’ve seen me reaching out. They’ve also gained conviction in these areas, following what I say . . . and what I do.

Now, it’s your turn. How have you walked out healing in your life? What has God done to liberate you from your past? Share your testimony with me in the comments!

Walk It Out

Tricia Goyer Walk it OutYou’ve heard the phrase Trust God. It’s easy to say but can be hard to do. But what if you did it. What if you did the things that God asked you to do and solely relied on Him? Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still feel empty and unfilled. Bestselling author Tricia Goyer has been where you are. She gets it and knows that the only way to live a fulfilling life is to walk it out with God.

Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time is a resource that teaches women how walking out the mandates of Scripture will allow God to spark passion and mission within them. Goyer teaches women, of all ages, how to:

    1. Use your healed heart to love and serve
  2. Create space and craft purpose
  3. Give generously without question
  4. Be vulnerable
  5. Truly love your family
  6. Do the work that God has given you to do

 

This book is for women:

  • struggling with anxiety or depression
  • feeling like they lost their way and are living by comparison
  • who feel like they’re never enough and always too much
  • searching for ways to develop a closer relationship with God
  • raising families while facing crossroads

Sometimes the steps we take in our faith are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Get your copy of Walk It Out today!

 

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It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

 

 

It's Time to Get Creative, Mom.
It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

 

It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

As a writer, I know all about creativity. I know how essential it is to be creative. I know how fun it can be. I also know what it’s like to be at a loss for creativity. Even as a mom, creativity is important. Combine the needed creativity for being both a mom and a writer . . . well, it’s tough to come by.

  • When there are people and paperwork and piles to manage…
  • When I look around my house and see the walls that need to be painted and the cupboards that should be organized…
  • When my inbox is cluttered with notes I need to answer about work stuff and volunteer stuff…
  • When output is more than input…
  • …my creativity well often runs dry.

What can you do when you need an extra “spark” of inspiration?

Here are a few things I do.

Call a funny friend.

Sit outside. Breathe in fresh air.

Listen to birds sing. Watch busy ants.

Open a book of poetry or rent an audio book of poetry from the library. Absorb the symbolism and fresh word combinations.

Open a cookbook to a random page, then go shopping for the needed ingredients. (And then cook it!)

Go to YouTube.com and watch old dance numbers like this one.

Visit Etsy and take their taste test. This is one of my favorites. I love the fresh colors, textures, and ideas.

Play with Visuwords. Follow word trails and see where they lead you.

Have a visual feast on iStock Photo. (It’s also a great place for gathering inspiration for novel settings and characters or blog ideas.)

Pray and thank God for His creativity. Thank Him for your favorite places, people, tastes, and the beauty of nature.

Read your favorite Bible verses in a translation or paragraph you normally don’t read. Here is my favorite Bible verse in The Message (Zephaniah 3:17): “Don’t be afraid. Dear Zion, don’t despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.”

Write a greeting card verse and e-mail it to a special person. Or better yet, browse creative sites (like MarthaStewart.com) for card ideas and make your own.

Sometimes what we need is simply a break in our day from the mundane tasks of life.

These tips are perfect for breaking up a routine. Who knows? You might end up inspired to finish writing that blog or to tackle that inbox.

Prayer

God, thank you for being the source of all creativity. Allow today to be inspired with fresh ideas and new creativity.

Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom

Looking for More Ways to Get Creative?

Check out my book Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom!

More Resources

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger

Creativity by Matthew Fox

Creative Block: Get Unstuck, Discover New Ideas. Advice & Projects from 50 Successful Artists by Danielle Krysa

Creativity Workout: 62 Exercises to Unlock Your Most Creative Ideas by Edward De Bono

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Your Prayers DO Impact Generations {And 5 Things to Pray}

Do your prayers matter—not just for today or this year—but for generations? Can the prayers you pray today and the faith steps you take this week impact your descendants 100 years from now? Yes, they can! Your prayers do impact GENERATIONS!

 

We all want to know our prayers matter, but sometimes our greatest prayers may not be answered until our life on earth is done. In fact, you may think you’re praying about one thing, but God might use those prayers greater in the lives of your descendants than your own. How do I know?

I have a few stories to share.

The first is about a woman named Corrie ten Boom. The second is my own.

Many may know Corrie’s story from the book The Hiding Place. (If you haven’t read The Hiding Place, run—don’t walk—to read it.) It’s one of my all-time favorite books.

Corrie was a single woman living with her family in The Netherlands during World War II. When the Nazis occupied Holland Corrie and her family hid hundreds of Jewish people in their home and helped them to safety. Because of their efforts, countless lives were saved.

I’d like to think that if I was in Corrie’s shoes I’d do the same. But would I? Putting oneself at risk to save others is unnatural. Corrie saved lives, but she also saw her own family lose their lives because of these actions. Corrie’s father died not long after his arrest. Corrie and her sister Betsy were placed into a concentration camp where Betsy lost her life. Only Corrie was released from the concentration camp due to a clerical error.

What does Corrie’s story have to do with us today? God has a plan for our families, and sometimes those plans take a generation of prayers for preparation. Here is more of the story I wrote in my book Prayers that Changed History:

Prayers that Changed History Tricia Goyer

Prayer came naturally to Corrie. Her parents made prayer an important part of her life. Her parents taught her to pray, and they lived an example of prayer. Corrie’s grandfather, Willem ten Boom, felt the need to pray for Jewish people after a movie worship service. The ten Boom family, along with friends and neighbors, started a weekly prayer meeting for Jewish people in 1844. Every week they specifically prayed for the peace of Jerusalem as talked about in Psalm 122:6. “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee” (KJV). These meetings took place every week for one hundred years. They stopped on February 28, 1944, when Nazi soldiers came to the house to take the family away.

I get goosebumps when I read that! God knew what the ten Boom family would face in 1944, and he started preparing them in 1844! The strength this family exhibited during a crisis in their country is a direct result of generations of prayer.

I love this story because it’s reflective of my life, too. I was born to a single mom in 1971, and my mother and grandmother became Christians when I was in second grade. I didn’t know my biological father until I was 28 years old, and for most of my life I believed it was only in this century my family became God-followers. I was wrong.

When talking with my biological grandfather after I met him, I discovered an amazing Christian heritage. On my paternal side my great-grandparents were missionaries and church planters, as they had been for GENERATIONS. My great-great-great-great-great grandfather FCD Wyneken was a pastor and missionary who helped found Concordia Theological Seminary.

And according to Wikipedia, “The Wyneken family had an established Lutheran heritage long before Friedrich arrived in America. Heinrich Wyneken’s father, grandfather, and one brother were pastors in Hanover. Two of Friedrich Wyneken’s older brothers also became pastors. Significant numbers of more distant relatives and in-laws were also Lutheran clergy members.”

I’d like to think that somewhere in that long line of pastors and missionaries, someone was praying for future generations. I am a direct result of those prayers, as are my kids. And who knows how MY prayers will impact generations to come.

Knowing this about the ten Boom family and my own makes me want to become more proactive about praying for my descendants. I’ll never know how my prayers will impact history. Or how yours will, too.

If you’re interested in praying for your descendants, here are some prayers to start:

Praying for Descendants

  1. Pray for their Salvation. (Romans 10:9-10)
  2. Pray for them to follow God’s call on their lives. (Romans 11:29)
  3. Pray for them to be witnesses for Christ in all the world (Acts 1:8)
  4. Pray they will live for God and turn from the draw of this world (Romans 12:2)
  5. Pray they will be able to stand strong in their faith no matter what they face in their generation (1 Corinthians 16:13)

Print this list (click on the image below for a printable PDF) and pray these prayers often. You never know who they will impact or how!

 

Download the printable to remember how to pray for your family!

Free Printable from Tricia Goyer 5 Ways to Pray for Your Descendants

 

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How Do You Build Deep Friendships?

Once a year,  I am blessed to hang out with some of my favorite friends for four days on a writing retreat. As I’ve mentioned before, every year I get together with a group of Christian novelists to plot, play, and pray together. Each person gets one hour and fifteen minutes of plotting time. They share their book ideas, and everyone else helps them come up with ideas for their plots, characters, and conflicts. (Below I have links to some of the books we’ve plotted if you are looking for great, end-of-summer reads!)

While plotting books is fun, and I enjoy the time playing, the most meaningful part of our time together is connecting and praying together. Every evening after dinner we go around the room and share our lives—what’s going well, what’s not going well, and our deep inner struggles. It’s a time of confession. It’s a time of rejoicing. It’s a time of peeling back the layers and being completely real. It’s a time of knowing that I am loved even as I share some of my biggest hang-ups. I leave our retreat renewed as if my soul has just been given a long shower with lots of scrubbing.

It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be great to have more of those types of relationships? I agree it would, but the key to building those deep friendships comes down to one thing: T-I-M-E. We’ve been meeting together, praying together, and investing our hearts for fifteen years. In addition to our in-the-flesh retreats, we also have an email prayer group where we share everything from light-hearted moments to gut-wrenching conflicts. But our ability to share with open hearts only came after years of being real and building trust. Our ability to share the deep things in 2023 only happened because we were able to share the not-so-deep things in 2003, 2007, 2011, 2017, and all the other years!

Isn’t that how things work in so many areas of our lives? We get out of it what we put into it. When I first started attending this novelist retreat I had no idea what it would become, but I’m thankful. It’s also a reminder to invest in others. The wonderful thing is, when I give of myself to other trusted friends, I can experience other deep relationships, too.

Perhaps reading this message leaves an ache in your heart because you wish you had friendships like this. I encourage you today to just do one thing: reach out to another person today—someone you trust and want to get to know better. Then, reach out to her tomorrow and the next day. Take time to invest.

In our lives we can get busy with so many things, but let’s not forget the people God’s placed around us. My life is different because of the friendships I’ve built, and I can see now that every moment given to drawing closer to trusted friends has been worth it.

A few novels from Plot, Play, and Pray:

A Bridge to Haven by Francine Rivers
A Note Yet Unsung by Tamera Alexander
Love Without End by Robin Lee Hatcher
Fatal Vendetta by Sharon Dunn
Vain Empires by Brandilyn Collins
Arms of Deliverance by Tricia Goyer

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