Tricia Goyer

I have an awesome advantage not everyone one has, out my office window there is an immense physical evidence of God’s glory–a massive demonstration that stretches from horizon to horizon. You see, the Rocky Mountains stand about ten miles from my home. These gentle giants rise from the green valley floor into to the soft clouds. Then, in perfect alignment with my corner window, the mountain chain v’s, displaying the white-topped peaks of Glacier National Park in the background

This morning as I looked out my front window, those mountains were again a glorious reminder of God’s greatness. Psalms 121:2 says, “My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth.”

While these mountains are seemingly immovable, they were formed by words of God and are a monument of His magnificence. They display the beauty of the Most Beautiful.

My prayer today is that I can stand as a small testimony to God’s magnitude. That I can be a minor display of the Most Beautiful.

You see, creation is still taking place today as God recreates me through His Word spoken to my heart.

The pretty blonde stood in front of the church. “I had an abortion when I was nineteen.” Her eyes scanned the crowd. “And I will be leading a Bible Study for others like me.”

I lowered my head. My hands trembled on my lap. I was sure by my response that everyone around me could guess my secret. Yet, a flicker of hope stirred. There’s someone like me. Someone who knows this pain.

I’d been a Christian for many years, but the shame of having an abortion at age fifteen weighed heavy on my heart. During years of attending church, I had no idea other women also dealt with the same heartache.

Women Like Me. Each year, about 50 million women worldwide have abortions. In the U.S. alone, 43 percent of women will have an abortion by the time they are 45 years old. Yet for a Christian woman, it may feel like she’s the only one dealing with this issue. And so often, church leaders don’t know how to approach the subject of abortion for fear of stirring “controversy.” Instead, leaders need to realize that these women need hope. They need to hear that others have faced the same pain and have found healing.

Post-Abortion Healing. After having an abortion, many women cope through the defense mechanisms of repression and denial. Oftentimes, this helps women avoid the pain for 5, 10, even 20 years. But during a woman’s life, events such having children or facing infertility, can bring these negative feelings to light.

Yet even before a woman realizes her pain, suppressed shame and guilt express themselves in many ways, including low self-esteem, insomnia, nightmares, and flashbacks. It is also common for women to turn to alcohol or drugs to numb the ache.

Steps to healing. Still, women do not need to remain prisoner to their silent suffering. According to J. Willke, there are five steps in the healing process:

(1) Counter the denial. A woman must take responsibility and admit she killed her baby.

(2) Grieve over her lost child. Releasing pent-up tears often brings healing.

(3) Seek divine forgiveness. In my case, it helped to realize Jesus’ grace was greater than my sin.

(4) Forgive others. There are many people I resented for their part, including family members and my old boyfriend. But I soon realized that this hatred hurt me the most.

(5) Forgive herself. Romans 6:16 states that “sin leads to death.” When I was able to forgive myself for believing Satan’s lies, I found inner peace that I’d not experienced in years. And afterwards, I knew I had to help others find the same peace.

Reaching Out. After my own healing, I began to lead post-abortion groups using the book, Forgiven and Set Free by Linda Cochrane. I also share my testimony in person and through writing. I know my words of hope maybe exactly what the women listening in the pew–or the one reading my blog–may need. Just like another woman’s words had once helped me.

Even though my abortion happened nineteen years ago, a part of me has forever been changed. My life reflects it. My writing reflects it. In fact, I feel it’s no coincidence that themes of bondage, forgiveness, and hope are found within the pages of the novels I write.

How about you? How has your Real Life Pain and Real Life Healing transformed your ministry?

Footnote: J. Willke, P.A.S. Five Steps on How You Can Help, Life Issues Connector, Mar. 1996

I love March. Well, at least this March. I love the air that hints of spring. The grass starting to turn shades of green. The rays of dawn that tint the snowy mountains with a hint of pink every morning.

I love walking my dog on our bike trail. I love taking my mini-van through the car wash (thus, no muddy snow on the roads), and I love watching the neighbor kids bounce on their trampoline out my window.

Spring means fresh, new life. It’s a time for new beginnings.

For me, this includes working on the first book of a three-book series, The Spanish Civil War Chronicles. The title of this first book is Valley of Betrayal.

I’m still in the process of wrapping my mind around my story, but I do know a few things. I know that sometimes love doesn’t turn out as we’d hoped. Yet we can each become a better person because of our hearts that love.

The funny thing about reading novels is that we glimpse into a part of the author’s heart, whether we realize it or not. Think about your favorite novel. What did you learn about the author’s hopes, dreams, memories, and loves?

I often don’t realize how much of “me” makes it’s way into my stories until the book is already on the shelf. But that’s okay, I suppose. For it’s through my words that I let my heart be known.

And for the book to come, my heart will share how true love is found even under the most difficult circumstances. A true love that is never forgotten. Forever embraced.

Today, obviously, is a day when our country focuses on love. How?

candy hearts
chocolate
flowers
romantic greeting cards
naughty nightwear
dinner out
teddy bears

How did God show love?

His very Word spoken.
The Word come to live among us.
Sacrifice.
His death for our life.
Christ in me.

We can pursue, purchase, and present our love . . . or at least try. Yet true love gives, changes, and transforms from the inside out.

“The contrast between God’s way of doing things and our way is never more acute than in this area of human change and transformation,” says Richard Foster. We focus on specific actions; God focuses on us. We work from the out outside in; God works from the inside out. We try; God transforms.”

Do you desire to be transformed by love today? Begin by opening your Bible to the book of John. It is there you will see Love sent down to live among us. He has changed my heart into something more beautiful than anything I could have ever dreamed.

In fact, if I could imprint one of those candy hearts to relate the message left on on mine, it would say one thing:

Forever His.

In the book, Mr. Jones Meet Your Maker, Peter Marshall prays the following prayer:

O God our Father, history and experience have given us so many evidences of Thy guidance to nations and to individuals that we should not doubt Thy power of Thy willingness to direct us. Give us the faith to believe that when God wants us to do or not to do any particular thing, God finds a way of letting us know.
May we not make it more difficult for Thee to guide us, but be willing to be led of Thee, that Thy will may be done in us and through us for the good of America and all mankind. This we ask in Jesus’ name. AMEN.

I was remind of this prayer as I watched End of the Spear this afternoon. Years ago, five men ventured out to share the good news of Jesus with a vicious tribe of people. At the time, making contact and sharing the Good News with a few men and women was all they hoped for. These missionaries had no idea that years later millions of people would know their story, and moviegoers would be hearing their message over and over again.

Personally, I’ve come to trust that Marshall’s words are true, ” . . . when God wants us to do or not to do any particular thing, God finds a way of letting us know.” I trust that because it has become true in my life.

There are many instances when God places something on my heart, and sometimes I’ll never know why. Then there are other times I listen, obey, and am allowed a glimpse of what God is up to.

Last summer that very thing happened to me. After conversations with other moms and coming across amazing statistics, God placed it on my heart to write a book for Generation X Parents. I had another book under deadline, a conference to prepare for, schoolwork to organize for my kids, but I couldn’t shake the thought. Putting together a proposal for this book was something I had to do NOW.

Within a month, I had a proposal submitted to my agent. Within another month we received word that a few publishers were interested. And by November 15th we heard that Multnomah Publishers was offering a contract. (One of the best in the business!) Due to the grace of God, the manuscript has been written and is currently being edited. It will hit the shelves September 15, 2006 . . . one year from the time God placed the idea on my heart.

I have no clue how many people the message of this book will touch, and that’s okay. I can’t do much concerning results, but I can be obedient in following God in the areas He calls me to.

Years ago, five missionaries walked in obedience and it cost them their lives. But, oh, how many hearts have been touched by their story.

This year, God is leading me down numerous paths of publication . . . yet I’m leaving the results to Him.

Now, what about you? Are you willing to pray the same prayer?

Give me the faith to believe that when You want me to do or not to do any particular thing, You will find a way of letting me know.

I guarantee if you expect and believe, listen and obey, you will not be disappointed.

This morning I was honored to be interviewed by Jack Jacobs from KJTY: Topeka, Kansas. Jack is one of my favorite interviewers. He always has great questions and is excited about my books. How could I not like that?

It’s weird, though, to think the people I’ll most likely never meet listened to my voice over the radio. As I sat in my computer chair, overlooking the Montana Rocky Mountains, people in their car, or at work, or maybe making breakfast were listening to my words.

It’s humbling really. I mean the other 99% of my day is completely ordinary. I’m ordinary . . . or at least I was until God decided to use me for His purposes.

Today, when I was cleaning off my desk I came upon this verse I’d written on a notecard. Acts 20:24 reads, “But my life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus–the work of telling others the Good News about God’s wonderful kindness and love.”

It’s a good reminder for me, because there are days like today when I’m able to share the Good News over the radio. Then there are other days when the sharing is more subtle . . . but either way, my life is worth nothing unless I use it to do the work assigned to me by the Lord Jesus.

Sometimes, on a rare occasion, a mom gets sick and is allowed to stay in bed for the day. That was my day today.

The stuffed nose and sore throat weren’t fun, but (should I admit this?) the idea of going nowhere, doing nothing sort of appealed to me.

Yes, the kids still did their school work. I even staggered out of the covers a few times to help them and answer their questions.

And they didn’t starve. In fact, my 11-year-old made me lunch, and a friend brought me homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner. (Thanks Twyla!)

My errands were completed by my 16-year-old, who still doesn’t mind driving around town if it means he can use up the gas in my vehicle instead of his.

Laying in bed, I had time to finish my Bible Study homework (Beth Moore, Breaking Free). And I pulled out a few books I’ve been wanting to read, especially A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy.

Since I didn’t feel well enough to actually write, I actually got caught up on my email correspondence and sent a “to-do” list to my wonderful webmaster, asking for updates on my website.

My plans for tonight include diving into A Stitch in Time, a soon-to-be-released novel by my friend Allison Bottke, who I’m going to write an endorsement for.

And, since my husband’s out of town for work, I propped myself in the center of the bed, tucked all the covers around me, and refused to even brush my hair or shower. (Sniff, sniff, although I that might be changing soon.)

Like a good patient, I’ve been upping my fluids and taking the antibiotics my doctor prescribed yesterday. Which means, I should be feeling better by tomorrow.

Then again . . .

. . . is it going too far for a mom to spend TWO days in a row sick in bed?

Today I found myself lounging on my bed with my notebook computer and a stack of books surrounding me.

The topic: The Spanish Civil War

The mission: Write a three book series that will highlight this time in history, incorporating real-to-life characters, a page-turning plot, and beautiful descriptions that will transport a reader to 1937 Spain. Basically, a story that will force readers to tell all their friends, “You’ve got to read this book!”

Okay, the truth is I can’t think about all those things at once. Nor can I think about my faith reader. And especially not the reviewers who each have an opinion on whether my work deserves a thumbs up or thumbs down rating.

Instead, I must focus on the glimpses. The bit of research that captures my attention. The character that begins as a foggy impression in my mind, but soon starts to take shape.

Many people ask how I can write a 400 page novel. I can’t. It would be impossible. Instead I write the emotions, the bits and pieces of dialogue. I write glimpses as I receive them, and somehow they build until a story unfolds.