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Generation NeXt Parenting
by Tricia Goyer Multnomah Publishers

Reviewed by Laura V. Hilton

Generation NeXt Parenting is a must read for parents who are struggling to find a godly balance in the must-have-it-all world we live in now. These women are caught in the aftermath of the Baby Boomers and aren’t quite sure how to handle some issues.

Tricia Goyer takes a candid look at modern-day parenting and addresses such issues like:

— Depending on God
— Parenting Advice Overload
— Shaking Past Habits
— Minding Thoughts, Taming Tongues
— Spending Time with Family
— Making Room for Daddy
— Raising Content Kids
— Tackling the Media Monster
— Plus much more

I found Generation NeXt Parenting an excellent resource book for all aspects of parenting. Goyer included comments throughout the book written by my peers, stating their agreement with comments the author made, or suggestions for improving certain areas of their relationships with their husband or children. The book is well written and held my interest, even though it is a nonfiction book.

In Generation NeXt Parenting Goyer also includes suggestions for applying what you learned to your day-to-day life. As a result, she promises you that you will feel more secure as a parent and a spouse after reading her book.

Armchair Interviews says: Highly recommended for pastors, parents, and church libraries.

(Also, be sure to check out my Gen X blog at: www.genxparents.blogspot.com)

I have a wonderful group of e-pen pals who I hear from quite often. I found a note from one of them, Wilfred McCarty, very interesting. Mac, as I call him, is a veteran of WWII. (You can see photos of Mac and some of my other veteran friends here.)

I’ve also interview Fay Steele is who noted below. And VE Day . . . in case you didn’t know, stands for Victory in Europe. The end of WWII there.

Here is what Mac had to say:

Seeing the photograph in Monday July 31, 2006 issue of Communicator of some home members that were invited to attend the Department of Veterans Affairs 75th Anniversary reminded me that one time PR asked four of us members if we would be interviewed by Veterans Affairs.

It was quite an elaborate set up, motion picture camera, sound man and interviewer they sent over to interview each of us for about an hour. I thought I was going to be a motion picture star, but evidently the only part they evidently used was the answers each of us gave as to where we were on VE Day.

Fay Steele World War Two Veteran: I was stationed at Chartres, France with the 9th Troop Carrier Commands Combat Camera Unit, and we got word that all the German troops in Denmark had surrendered. So they sent two photographers and two reporters up to Denmark to Copenhagen to cover the celebration, and as we flew into the Copenhagen Airport we didnt know that the war was over. They didn’t tell us until we were on the ground.

Anywhere we went in Copenhagen they would recognize us as Americans so they’d applaud us and we all must have signed 1,000 autographs.

Daniel Funk World War Two Veteran: VE Day 1945. I was out on detail. We were collecting abandoned German ammunition, and I didnt know the war was over at the time until I got back to the company. And I was elated. We managed to smuggle in about four barrels of beer, and I don’t remember much about the next day.

Frank Hayden World War Two Veteran. I sailed on Liberty ships as a cadet mid-shipman during the war beginning in 1943 crossing the North Atlantic dodging submarines. On May 8th V-E Day, I had been at the US Merchant Marine Academy and they gave me leave to go home to Brooklyn New York. I had to transfer trains and got off at Times Square. And the newsbroke out that it was VE day. It was just complete bedlam. Anybody in uniform–which I was still in uniform–treated us like Kings. We went from one party to another.

Wilfred “Mac”McCarty World War Two Veteran. Our outfit on the 5th of May liberated Mauthausen Concentration Camp, Austria. That’s were I was VE night (and for five weeks) so it was not what you expect for a VE celebration. We did not celebrate. When I learned about the different celebrations all over Europe I thought, My gosh, I missed out on all of that. Leave it to Mac to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Story of my life.

Tricia back again . . .

For these four veterans and millions more . . . thank you! And, Mac, I don’t think you were at the wrong place. The answered prayers of many as you opened those gates to freedom are proof of that!

If I can help it, I don’t write at all on Sundays. I use that time to serve in my church, nap, and hang out with my family. It’s a wonderful day!

This Sunday my family watched “She’s The Man.” Amanda Bynes is one of our favorite actresses, and our whole family was great fans of The Amanda Show even before she became a popular film star. It’s a fun movie (for teens and above) about a girl who poses as a boy for two weeks in order to make the soccer boys team and prove herself.

I laughed all the way through the movie except the part where I gasped . . . seriously, because this girl thinks the boy she has fallen for has stood her up. She thinks she sees him coming, but it’s the yard care worker setting up the sprinklers.

Then . . . she turns around to head back to the dorms, and there stands this tall, light-haired, broad-shouldered Duke, in a tux no less! I literally gasped LOUDLY . . . to the amusement of my family!

I don’t know about you, but its times like this when I still feel like a teen inside. Sometimes I look at my kids–who are teens themselves–and think . . . Oh man, I’m the responsible one here!

Then there are other times, like when I’m looking over a new book contract, and think, “I’m not sure I’m old enough to be making these type of decisions.” (Yes, I’m 35, I know, but still . . .)

Of course, there are times when this inner child can come in handy . . . such as when your kids want to race you to the bottom at the waterslides. Or when they want to watch The Sponge Bob Movie, yet again. When the teen moms I hang out with spill their guts while painting their fingernails and filling up on junk food. Or when a publisher contacts you to see if you’re interested in writing for teen girls. Uh, yeah, I think I can do that one.

So, you’ve heard it here first folks. I might be writing teen fiction soon. How fun is that?! I’ll continue writing the in-depth historical novels, of course. But everyone needs to have a little fun now and then, indulging the kid inside!

Hi gang,

I’m the featured blogger this week at Favorite Past Times. It’s a blog by historical fiction writers, for historical fiction writers.

This week I will be sharing some stories on how I started writing historical fiction and great tips for writers, covering things like research, setting, conducting interviews, etc.

Check it out at:
http://www.favoritepastimes.blogspot.com/
(If you comment any time this week, you’ll be entered into a drawing for a free copy of Arms of Deliverance.)

Also, be sure to check out the archives. There’s some GREAT information there!

(Tricia and Robin Jones Gunn, at our joint booksigning.)

Last week, I was going through my bookshelf, looking for a new journal (I’d filled up my old one), when I found one dating back to 1998. The beginning of the notebook had notes from the Mount Hermon writing conference. I was amazing how the notes I took then still ring true to me today.

One set of workshop notes came from my dear friend and mentor, Robin Jones Gunn. I’d signed up to take her class hoping for some ideas on how to write better fiction. Robin helped do that by first pointing us to our own hearts.

“All great books come from the heart of the author and from the essence of the author’s life experiences” said Robin. Though there are part of our lives in which there are spaces of silences, there is also “rough stuff” we must draw from in our writing.

Robin encouraged us to see writing as not just “all about us.” But to instead see where God has been working in our lives. Two questions she encouraged us to ask were:

What purpose has He given me?

What is His desire?

The next thing Robin had us do, in class, was to write our personal story, starting from our birth to present day–hitting the high and low points. After that was done, she asked us to highlight certain areas with different colored markers. These points were:

Key people.
Key events.
Key lessons.
Lies.

This was a life-transforming activity, and these themes could clearly be seen:

Unwed pregnancy (both me and my mom)
Love of books and reading
Abortion
Intimacy and Heartache
Longings for love
Teen in the 80s (media influences)
Single parenting
God’s liberation and transformation
Marriage
Raising a godly family
Heart-connections with people in my past
Seeking God

Above is my expanded list–it has grown since 1998–but major themes continue to resurface, especially themes of liberation and restoration.

Looking back on the time between now and 1998, it was amazing to realize I’ve had eight books published since then, and ALL OF THESE BOOKS deal with one of these themes. Even my fiction novels include children born out of wedlock, women abandoned by men they loved, and liberation–both internal and external. (External being WWII.)

I’ve written many other book proposals, of course, but none of those have been accepted. Maybe even the publishers were able to tell those book that came from my heart–because my heart was touched by the issue in some way?

So what about you? Where major events have touched your life? Where can you see God at work? As David Crowder sings, “Wherever you’ve been, He’s been there.”

I would highly recommend you try this activity. After all, the message God speaks in your life are often the same ones He desires to speak through your words.

Don’t you hate it when God points out an area of your life in which you’ve been prideful? He does it, of course, by helping you understand “the other side.”

I used to be that way about deadlines. Before this month, I had been queen-of-pleasing-my-editors-and-meeting-all-my-deadlines. My manuscript was in the email the day my project was due, whether it be articles or books. And, honestly, I didn’t understand those writers who had to ask for extensions. I mean, the publishing house is counting on them getting their work in on time, right?

Then . . . this month happened. I’ve had to ask for an extension for my current novel work-in-progress TWICE. My editor was gracious and my new deadline is August 8th. (It helped that he is on vacation until then. 🙂

I also had to ask for extensions on two articles I was writing, because–you know–when one project runs later than expected, then it throws everything off.

Through this month I’ve learned a few things:

1. Life happens. We can’t anticipate things like unexpected trips or a family member’s unexpected hospital stay, but these things do not catch God by surprise.

2. Everyone needs help and grace sometimes. As someone who strives to gain the approval of others–to a fault–it’s good for me to realize that people still like me even if I’m not perfect 🙂

3. I cannot schedule the Holy Spirit. There are times when I feel connected with God when I write, and other times when I feel as if I’m typing in a fog. There are times when this is due to personal struggles. But other times God doesn’t move, as we’d like, for reasons we can’t explain. God is God. And I can’t force Him to fit my schedule.

So today, I’m setting to work on my book, hoping that the same “momentum” that hit me last night shows up again. But if it doesn’t happen that way, it’ll be okay.

God is a good God when things go my way writing-wise . . . and He’s a good God even when they don’t.

I have a confession to make . . .

(Okay, to do this right we have to imagine ourselves sitting in a circle of chairs and sipping on too-strong coffee.)

I am addicted to story–the actual creation of worlds, and characters, and ideas in my mind.
I have three or four good ideas a day. Or at least I think they’re good. Here are three that have been swirling around in my head for the last 24-hours. (There were three others the day before that. And then two days ago . . . well, you get the picture.)

1. A world-renowned faith healer is witnessing lives changed through his touch. One problem this causes is that he is “on-call” 24/7 and the stress is getting to him. One day, as he is again woken in the middle of the night, he throws himself across the bed and cries out, “Oh, Lord, not again . . .” And from that moment his gift is gone. What will he do now that an empire was built around his very public ministry? And what personal tragedy must take place before he embraces the man on whom the mantle has been passed?

2. A single woman is supposedly living out her career dreams, and she is perfectly content with her life until an email from a name she doesn’t recognize pops up in her in-box. It’s a note from a guy who lives in the same apartment building. She never looked twice at him before, until his simple email moves her to tears as he shares about his daily life. Instead of telling him of his mistake, she responds as if the email was meant for her. Soon a “long-distance” romance develops. The only problem is . . . what will happen when he discovers the truth of her deception?

3. A small town girl is cast in the roll of Anne Frank in her community theater. Unknown to her, a Hollywood producer is on vacation, sees her performance, and casts her in a role in his new movie. The movie is a smash hit and the teen is swept into the world of Hollywood chicks and cliques. It’s just like high school back home, except for these star divas have millions to blow and heirs of Greek fortunes asking for dates. Can her simplicity and purity reach them before she’s sucked in to the high stakes of Hollywood–where everyone loves you until you threaten their own fame status?

Yes, all on one day . . . what’s a girl to do?

Fortunately, God was already speaking to my heart about this very thing.

Last night, as I was reading through Fresh Outlook, a new Christian magazine I picked up at Wal-mart. On the last page, there are passages reflecting on God’s name, and this one really spoke to me:

You are Elohim. You are the Creator of heaven and earth, Who was in the beginning. It is you who made me and you have crowned me with glory and honor. You are the God of might and strength.

Taking it one step further, I googled Elohim and found this Scripture:

“Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.” Hebrews 11:3 KJV

Through this, God spoke two things to me:

1. God is the Creator. He made me this way for His purpose. And in this small way I can reflect His glory and honor.

2. God used WORDS to frame WORLDS, and in a small way He’s granted me the privilege to do the same. Words swirl in my mind and story worlds are formed–not because of anything I’ve done. Instead, I accept it as a gift.

So, the stories keep coming, and I am humbled. And as I sit before Him, God shows me which to write . . . at what moment. Then, as I follow Him, He also gives me the strength and knowledge to follow. It’s Elohim in me, creating and forming words into worlds in order to touch hearts.

Praise Him!
Tricia Goyer

P.S. If you had to choose to read any of those three book ideas, which would you choose?

I had to laugh as I talked on the phone with my dear friend yesterday. Before I tell you our conversation, I have to tell you about my friend Tara. We met seven years ago when our husband’s worked together, and we have boys the same age. If her son isn’t here, than mine is at her house. (Actually, my son has been at her house far more this summer due to the numerous trips I’ve been on lately!) Tara is a smart and caring woman . . . no wonder she’s my friend!

Anyway, Tara just started reading my newest novel, Arms of Deliverance.

“Well, how do you like it?” I asked, eager for her praise.

“I don’t understand,” she said softly. “You’re such a sweet and kind person. Why do you write about such horrible things?”

All I could do was to laugh . . . and to wonder if she’s still going to allow her son to come to play!?

Of course, the “horrible things” Tara spoke about in the novel deals with racial purification in Nazi Germany. The book includes an “inside look” at Lebensborn homes where young German women were sent to bear children for the Reich. It also includes a POV from a Nazi racial purification officer–whose job is to “Germanize” any children stolen from places like Poland that fit the Aryan model.

I am a nice person, and I can’t explain why I am drawn to these horrific times in history. Actually, I take that back. I do know.

My ALL TIME FAVORITE book, besides the Bible, is The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom. I was so excited recently to discover it was recently released as a dramatized cd by Focus on the Family. I purchased it and listened to it during my four-hour drive to my fiction retreat last weekend. (Although there were a few times I almost had to pull to the side of the road to wipe my tears!) And, I liked the story so much . . . I listened to the whole thing again on the drive home.

I think the reason I love the story is because it shows that God can meet us in even the darkest places. In fact, one of the things Betsy says in the book is, “There is no dark pit, Corrie, that God is not deeper still. You can tell people and they will believe us, because we have been there.”

Amen!

I also think the reason I write about “horrible things” . . . is because God is found in my novels–not in the triumphs and joys of life, but in the dark places and hard times. Very hard times.

So, I’m afraid I had to tell my friend, Tara that I’m writing about “horrible things” once again. I’m writing about The Spanish Civil War . . . which usually draws a “huh?” from those I talk to. So now I loving refer to it as “The Spanish Civil What?”

If you aren’t aware of this time in history, you can read one man’s experience here.

Also, be sure to read about my friend Alun who was helping me with my story. Alun recently passed away.

So, yes, I’m again writing about hard circumstances (pray I finish soon!), but I’m also able to share that God’s hope can be found in even the darkest nights, wars, and places–even in the Spanish Civil What?

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” I don’t know about you, but this verse is easy to quote concerning things like heaven, and salvation, and God-with-us. Yet, I have a harder time with more pressing items such as deadlines, plot points, and thought like “with-this-book-my-editor-will-know-I’m-a-poser. “

Just as I sometimes wish I knew that triumph always prevails at the end of my trials, I also wish I could understand every plot point, character growth arch, and story resolution before I wrote the first word. Yes, as a girl who gets way too involved in historical research, I have a lot figured out before I start. I know which war battles my characters will be involved in, and I have a basic idea of how the book will end. It’s the character growth and spiritual truth stuff that leaves me scratching my head.

But sometimes, as George Michael sang, “You just gotta have faith.”

Like manna for the Israelites, God gives us what we need, when we need it. Yesterday, He dropped a plot twist on my lap. “Oh, God that’s good,” I said as my fingers began typing as fast as they could.

Then tears streamed down my face as I led my character through another heartbreaking trial! (Of course, this heartbreak will make the story even sweeter at the end!)

Yet, having that idea pop in my head reminded me of what Faith is all about–being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see . . . even in the case of fictional stories that bring us to our knees as we write them.

Especially in that case.

Hi friends. I just got back from a four-day writer’s get-together and brainstorming party with author friends. And believe me, when you have 11 authors in a room, brainstorming book ideas for romance, suspense, teen fiction, mystery, etc. . . . it IS a party!

For you writers out there . . . have you ever thought of brainstorming with friends? You don’t need eleven. The same could be done with half that number. (Yes, 5 1/2 authors would work fine.) Here’s what we do. Try it!

• The writer who is “up” gets 1 hour and 15 minutes. (We limit it to three a day, because our brains get fried.)
• Then she uses about fifteen minutes to talk about the idea–sharing as much as she knows about plot, characters, setting, etc.
• Then the writer explains her needs. Some people need help with minor plot points and others need ideas for the whole book. (Yes, I can claim in part the success of dozens of CBA authors 🙂
• This is when things get crazy, and we play the “what if” game. One person has an idea. If it’s a great idea we build on it. Not-so-great ideas are put aside. Ideas fly around the table and plot, conflict, motivation, characterization forms before our very eyes. Excitement builds as we all jump in with our brilliance. People come up with things I never would have thought out, and then others build on that. And who knew, I even came up with a few good ideas too.
• During the last twenty minutes, we stop all the ideas and ask everyone to write a “List of 10”. This means on a sheet of paper we write down ten things the author can do with the book. It can be a list of scenes, or conflicts, or more ideas.
• Finally, we go around and read our lists. Someone’s one or two more ideas are thrown in, but for the most part our work is done.

What do you think? Is this something that could work for you?

Also, in life, what other things could be brainstormed like this?

Need ideas on how to write better and produce more? Here are great tips from Lisa Tuttle. You can find out more about Lisa here: http://www.lisatuttle.com

Here’s a few tips that have helped me along the way:

Have a writing space. Doesn’t matter if it’s a a 20 x 30 fully furnished luxury office or a chair in the corner of the living room. Find a place where you are comfortable and can unleash your creativity. I have an office, but I prefer to write in a small recliner in the corner of our bedroom.

Know your creative time. Each person’s body works on a little different schedule. Some people are early birds (not me!) and some people are night owls. Pay attention to your personal body clock and find when you are at your best for writing. Try to arrange your schedule so that you can write during the best hour or two of your day. You’ll likely be more productive.

Set goals, make sacrifices, and earn rewards. Even if the goal is small, like 200 words a day, set some kind of goal. You can find time to work toward your goal by giving up time you currently spend doing something else, like watching tv, obsessive e-mailing , or cruising the net. To make the sacrifice a little more palatable, designate a reward for making the effort and reaching your goal. Meeting your word count six days in a row earns you an afternoon with the g-friends at a local coffee shop, or meeting your daily goal gets you a 1/2 hour in the bubble bath (brainstorming the next scene of course! 🙂 Make it fun to be productive.

Cultivate a sense of urgency. There’s nothing like the prospect of a vacation to Hawaii and being forced to get reacquainted with your swim suit to get you dieting and exercising in a hurry. LOL. Same theory transfers into your writing life. Give yourself a deadline if you don’t have a publisher or agent holding one over your head. And make it a priority. It’s okay for your writing to be important to you. Too often we feel guilty putting anything else ahead of an activity that most of us consider “fun”! 🙂

Have an accountability partner. A crit partner and I used to exchange weekly goals lists, for writing and other aspects of our lives too. Then at the end of the week we had to answer to one another for how we spent our time. Not wanting to confess my failures was motivation to get my wheels in motion and get it done. We held each other to task and helped one another stay on track.

Bribe your kids to do the housework. 🙂 This is a personal favorite, and since they are the biggest distraction to my writing, I think it’s poetic justice. My house gets cleaned and the kids are occupied for an hour or two. I spend a little money on the deal, but the price is small compared to the satisfaction I get from writing (and not having to do the housework. Okay, so I’m not Martha Stewart. LOL)

Cook smart. I save time on cooking duty by making extra and freezing for a later day. If I make chili or beef stew or some pasta dishes, I know that the extra will freeze well and make a great microwave quick dinner on the day that I get carried away on the wings of a plot and completely space dinner. 🙂 Or I divvy the leftovers up into serving-size Ziploc containers and freeze. They make great, quick lunches for me when the kids are in school and I don’t want to take time to cook a gourmet meal for one. The crock pot is a life saver too. Just turn it on in the morning, dump in ingredients and dinner is served at 6.

Develop routines. I have learned a lot from the flylady. 🙂 http://www.flylady.net Getting my house organized, routines in place, and family trained has cut back on the amount of work that has to be done in a day. It’s worth the effort and she is really motivational.