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August 21, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins? I used to feel the same way. Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love – not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

Further Resources:

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

August 2, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

Just Be Available to God

Just Be Available

If you want God to work in your life, then just be available! Be available AND believe He will move on your behalf. You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. When you learn to trust God completely and trust in His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you down the right path. Let me tell you how I know!

Fifty-two years ago, there was a woman about to give birth. She was young and didn’t know how she could afford a child without her parent’s help. She hadn’t talked to her former boyfriend in months–she didn’t even know how to reach him. How could she tell him she was having his child?

This young woman attended church some, yet her dialogue with God was stilted. How could God let this happen to her? What would her life be like now?

A baby girl was born, and upon holding her child this young lady knew things would be okay. Perhaps this baby was a gift, not a burden as she supposed. So this woman raised her daughter the best she could, and while she wanted to give her child more than she had…

History has a way of repeating itself.

When the daughter became a young woman she found herself in the same situation—living at home, pregnant, scared. The daughter knew she could raise this child. After all, her mom had done it. But what would her life be like? How could God let this happen to her?

If you haven’t guessed already – I was the daughter.

I was born to a single mom, becoming a single mom myself as a teenager. At age seventeen, God gave me a son. My boyfriend was out of the picture, and I faced raising a child alone with little education, no money, and – maybe, according to the world – little hope for my future.

Now if you take this story at face value, I am nothing more than a statistic.

According to government research, most daughters of young mothers go on to be teen mothers themselves. They face lives of hardship, living on welfare for the most part—becoming a burden rather than an asset to society.

Yet, I am not a statistic. And you know why I’m not a statistic? Because God doesn’t do statistics.

Did you hear that?

God doesn’t do statistics. In fact, He likes to blow them out of the water.

You see, God has a history of seeing something that no one else does. Like seeing a king in a shepherd boy named David, seeing an apostle in a young zealot named Paul, and seeing a mighty warrior in a frightened nobody named Gideon.

God has X-ray eyes that see right through any outward characteristics or any national statistics. His X-ray eyes scan down to the heart.

And what did God see? He must have seen something worthwhile. Because . . .

At age 52, I’m a multi-published author of magazine articles, Bible study notes, curriculum, and many books. My book for teenage mothers was nominated for a prestigious award. I’m a national speaker, traveling to share God’s good news.

While in my twenties I helped to launch a Crisis Pregnancy Center, helped start numerous abstinence programs, and launched support groups for Teen Moms.

Just Be Available

Now, if I were not a believer, all these would be things I could really tout. But honestly, I can say that it doesn’t have to do with me at all.

It’s about:

A BIG God with BIG dreams.
A God who has made an agreement with me that is eternal, final, and sealed.
A God who is constantly looking after my safety and success.
A God who is strong in my weakness.
A God who sees the future sees the past and has a perfect plan for me.

Well, I guess the whole truth is that I do have something to do with it. It’s only a little something, but I guess it makes a pretty big difference.

See, God can be all those things in my life, but only if I let Him.

There is one thing I must do . . . and that is Be Available. Of course, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Here I am, God – use me.” I didn’t just clear my schedule and wait for God to show up.

Rather, the steps toward my availability were a work in progress. They started on the day I was six months pregnant and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I like to look at that as Day One.

In those 34 years from then to now, I’ve learned a lot.

Lesson #1: Sometimes being available means stepping away from the status quo.

For me, that meant moving 1,000 miles away. Seriously, 1,000 miles. You see after I gave my heart to the Lord, I birthed a beautiful son. Not too long later, God gave me an amazing, Christian husband and two more children. Then He asked us to move . . . (in a roundabout way.)

First, God put us into a community of like-minded people. Our friends longed for a simple life away from the hurry and worry in California.

Next, He placed a desire in our hearts to raise our children in a better place – a place called Montana. We’d talked about it with our friends, we’d dreamt about it, and hoped that many someday it would come true.

Then, we decided to pray. My husband and I got on our knees and prayed that IF it was God’s desire He would make it clear. John had just graduated from college, and I was raising three small children under the age of 5.

We knew we’d be leaving our families, leaving our friends, leaving everything we knew. We had no job in Montana, no money to move; in fact, we’d never even been there before! Still, we had a desire. One we couldn’t shake.

At the time, my husband sold computers on commission in a small store. He’d usually sell 1-2 a week. He went to work the next day after our joint-prayer, and sold 11 computers! Enough to pay off our current bills with enough left over to move and live on. It was the confirmation we’d been looking for.

So we did it. We packed up our three kids and moved. Our families thought we were crazy.

They were sure we were joining some commune or something. We saw Kalispell for the first time as we drove in with our stuff. Within the week, we were renting a house. Within three weeks, my husband had a far better job than he had in California. And within six months, we’d purchased our first house. In less than a year, we were plugged into an amazing church and ministering to children in ways we’d always dreamed of.

We serve a BIG God with BIG dreams.

You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. But when you trust that fact. Trust God completely. Trust His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you to the right path.

Seeing God at work and what He did with our lives when we were available made me hungry for more. I wanted to experience God at work like that again.

Henry and Mel Blackaby say, “Watching the activity of God from a distance can never compare with the thrill of being fully involved in the Spirit’s active work.”

You have to want God. Not just want to work for Him or learn about Him, but truly want Him. You have to want to experience Him at work in your life. You have to be hungry for what only He can give—a hope and a future.

Prayer

God, I want to trust you. I want to be available for the big plans you have for me. Lead me to the right path. I am hungry for a hope and a future.

What BIG DREAM is God whispering into your heart? Maybe, like me, you feel God pulling you towards words, towards writing and speaking and sharing His message. If that sounds familiar then maybe you need to join me in the Write That Book club!

Making your writing dreams become a reality is tough. You have ideas but you wonder if any of them are good. You have no idea how to connect with agents and editors, and what in the world is book proposal anyway?

I’m here to help, and I’ve invited some of my friends to help you, too. They are professional agents, editors, authors, and marketing and publicity team members. They’re the best of the best in the Christian publishing industry. Together, we want to help you reach your dreams.

To help you do this, I’ve created Write That Book. This premier group provides education, inspiration, and connection with other writers and experts. Learn all the tricks of the trade while getting your personal questions answered.

Over thirty experts will be available throughout the month to answer your questions. Their decades of experience will be at your fingertips. They not only want to help you, but they also want to get to know you better. After all, your words might just be the ones they’re looking for!

Learn more here:

July 29, 2022 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

When the Story That Brought You Shame Becomes Your Life-Impacting Testimony

Have you ever wanted to have a life-impacting testimony as a Christian? But maybe you felt that your story was only one full of guilt, shame, and mistakes? Today I want to tell you about how my story, which brought me great shame, actually became my life-impacting testimony.

When the Story That Brought You Shame Becomes Your Life-Impacting Testimony

It was a simple, Thursday Bible Study, in a small California town. I sat there with six young moms from my church. At the time John and I had been married three years, and we were the parents of a preschooler and a toddler. I’d dedicated my life to God when I was pregnant with Cory at age seventeen, and I prayed for a future husband. God had brought me John, who loved Cory as his own. And now we had a baby together.

Yet while everything looked happy on the inside, I carried within a deep chasm filled with pain, shame, and regret.

As I sat in that Bible Study, the other women talked about abortion. My chest grew tight, my heart pounded, and a large border grew in the pit of my stomach. I was certain they’d hate me if they knew that I’d had an abortion at age fifteen. Even though I looked as if I fit in with these church women, everything within me told me I didn’t. I mean, what about my testimony?

I certainly didn’t have a life-impacting testimony, in fact, I didn’t feel like I had a testimony at all!

Many years prior, I’d prayed and asked God to forgive me for my abortion, but I couldn’t forget … and I couldn’t forgive myself. I was acting the part, but I felt like a traitor. Looking back, I can easily spot the accusations and the lies. The enemy of my soul hissed that I didn’t belong–with God or these women. It didn’t take much to convince me that it was true. And so I sat silent as they talked, sitting face-to-face but feeling a sea of pain-blocking my friends from getting close. I had made bad decisions, and I’d carry the pain forever … or so I thought.

My life remodeled into a Life-Impacting Testimony

Just a few years later, I sat in another Bible Study. We were in Montana then, and I had three kids, all six and under. Tears streamed down my face, and lightness and joy flooded my heart. I had shared about my past and my sinful decisions, and these women embraced me. They cried with me. It wasn’t a different state or church that had changed things. It wasn’t different women that had made the difference … it was me. I finally had shared the truth of what I’d done, as painful as it was. They understood my pain because each of them had also made the decision to have an abortion. Confessing to each other, and seeking to accept God’s forgiveness, was something we were doing together. When I shared my story the chains of darkness that had held me captive released, giving me freedom. The story that had brought me shame had become my life-impacting testimony.

Each of us carries pain. Sometimes it’s due to our bad decisions. Sometimes it’d due to others’ bad decisions, And sometimes the pain is there because we live in a broken world and bad things happen to good people.

How the pain got there isn’t as important as what we choose to do with it. We can either live under pain, shame, and regret. Or we can choose to lift up our dilapidated hearts to Jesus and ask Him to do some remodeling work within our souls.

When we choose to seek healing, we’re not only doing it only for ourselves. Our families and friends benefit too. When we seek healing we’re choosing to offer our whole selves to God and to others.

What we can learn from Paul and Bathsheba

There are many examples of those in the Bible who allowed their lives to be remodeled by God. Paul was one of them. A former persecutor of Christians, he became a disciple and an evangelist. His “after” looked nothing like his “before.” Paul acknowledged his sin, but he also embraced his forgiveness. He didn’t carry his burden of shame. Instead, he used his story to remind others that God can forgive anyone and remodel anyone. Paul set himself up as proof.

Another person in the Bible that tugs at my heart is Bathsheba.

While many preachers have accused her of being a harlot, there is no evidence in God’s Word to that fact. What we do see is someone who was abused by a man in power, and who lost a husband and a child. None of this was in her control. If anyone had the right to live bitter and angry, it would have been her, yet when we see her years later Bathsheba is bold. She reminds her husband King David that he promised that their son Solomon would be king. And her son Solomon not only took the throne, but he was also the wisest king who ever lived. Bathsheba could have hidden herself away and got stuck her pain, who wouldn’t do that? Yet somewhere in the arch of her story, she began to see a new picture of what her future could be.

This wasn’t the life she’d chosen, but she trusted that God could bring good out of pain.

Walk it Out Podcast

Last week I released a podcast with Natalie Chambers Snapp, and we talked about Bathseba’s story … and how her story can apply to ours. Natalie’s book, The Bathsheba Battle, sheds new light on this familiar story, by telling it from this woman’s point of view.

The Bathsheba Battle- for your life-impacting tesimony

And, as she walks you through Bathsheba’s story, Natalie addresses some of the common responses to life’s disappointments, offering encouragement and practical help for sorting through suffering as well as moving forward on the healing journey.

I love this quote from Natalie’s book,

“When we keep our pain in the dark, we give the enemy the reigns. But when we surrender that pain in the light, we give the reigns to God.”

Sometimes the pain comes from our choices. Sometimes the pain comes from the choices of others or because this world is just stinking hard.

And this quote from Strong, Brave, Loved by Holley Gerth speaks directly to this too. (See, I told you I was reading this book during my morning quiet time!)

“And the enemy is not ourselves. There’s a reason we use the phrase “beating ourselves up.” When we think the problem is us, we become harsh toward our own hearts. But our primary battle isn’t against any person–including ourselves. And the lies we hear have the same sources as the first lie spoken to Eve in the Garden. If you are a woman in this world, you are at war. It is not optional. And while you may not go roaring into battle, at the very least you need to know basic spiritual self-defense.” –Holley Gerth

To have our life remodeled, we need to start by having our thoughts remodeled, remodeled with a foundation of God’s forgiveness, and remodeled with a shield of faith that combats the enemy’s lies. Is it time to allow God to remodel your heart and life? The answer to that question is … yes! You will never regret opening up your heart to Him.

But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. Philippians 3:13

If you’re ready for some reconstruction, and to turn your shame into a life-impacting testimony, here are some of my posts to get you started.

To Read:

Part 1 and 2 of my abortion story:

How To Be Transparent

Learning To Face The Truth

If you question if God can still use you, and truly give you a life-impacting testimony I promise He can.

To Listen To:

Writers Wednesday

You can also read about how one of my friendships led me to become a writer. Yes, it is worth opening our hearts! If you haven’t seen it yet, Cindy’s Writer’s Desk post is not one to miss!

Most of all, I want to encourage you to share your truth. Feel free to reply to this email and write a note to me. I promise I’m the only one who reads it. Don’t let the enemy hold you in chains any longer.

Has this encouraged you in any way? I would love to hear your story.

~Tricia

These are some books I have written that might bless you as well:

My Life Unscripted

Young people (and old) learn the importance of “scripting” their own responses BEFORE challenging life-situations arise so they are able to think about, pray about, and consider how to face these situations before the scene begins. By contrasting real-life with TV or movies, teens will understand they don’t have to get caught up in the drama. My Life Unscripted

Praying For Your Future Husband

From when we were small girls, most of us dream of “The One,” our future husband. We think about what it would be like to be a bride. We wonder who that special guy is and when we’ll find him. The great news is that what you do now can make a difference in your life and the life of your future husband! Praying For Your Future Husband

Walk It Out

Sewn With Joy

Can I work in a woman finding forgiveness into an Amish novel? Oh yes, I can. 😂Joy Miller wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother—especially now that her relationship with Matthew Slagel, the bishop’s son, was deepening. But when a television crew rolls into Pinecraft, Florida, to film a new show about the Amish, tension threatens to rip apart their relationship…and the entire Amish community. Sewn With Joy

July 17, 2021 by Pamela Black 1 Comment

Tricia Turns 50!

Today, July 17, 2021, Tricia Goyer turns 50! As her team, we are so excited to share the opportunity with you to wish her a Happy Birthday. Tricia has been an inspiration to the world through her books and teaching for over three decades and we wanted to let you know how you can send her a message on this special day.

Tricia Turns 50

Here at Team Goyer, we want to recognize our friend, mentor, and leader Tricia Goyer as she celebrates the milestone of her half-century birthday. For thirty years Tricia has been writing books, speaking, teaching, and sharing the message of God’s grace and redemption. She is a tireless mentor to other writers, teen moms, homeschooling families, and everyone she comes in contact with. She and her husband John have followed God’s call to adopt seven children through foster care and have opened their home to make it a safe haven for these kids and others. They also care for Tricia’s grandmother who has lived with them in her old age.

We love Tricia and we know that so many of you do as well. We hope that you’ll take the opportunity this weekend to share how she’s touched your life through a text, an email, or on your social media. You can even respond directly to this post and share your thoughts and well wishes.

Tricia Turns 50

If you want to send Tricia a birthday message, we encourage you to go to her Facebook author page here: https://www.facebook.com/authortriciagoyer

or her personal Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/triciagoyer/

This month she is celebrating by hosting several giveaways for FREE books! It’s easy to enter to win by commenting on the posts on her Facebook page.

As always, Tricia is grateful for you and she is grateful for God’s call on her life to share His message of hope and redemption. Thank you for being part of this community!

In Hope~

Team Goyer

Christen Krumm, Jenny Ervin, Pamela Black

December 13, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

5 Things I Learned from Writing Moms’ Night Out

Do you have a dream that you don’t dwell on long because the idea of it coming true seems so unattainable? I’ve had a dream like that. It’s seeing one of my novels make it to the big screen, and that happened! Today I want to share five things I learned from writing Moms’ Night Out.

I am so excited to share this with you, I learned so much from writing Moms’ Night Out!

Well, to clarify, I wrote the novelization of Moms’ Night Out. That means they sent me an “almost complete” copy of the movie, and I wrote a novel from it. Yet even though I didn’t come up with the concept, there so much of “me” in this book. And more than what I gave to the project, I’m blessed by what I was given in the process of writing Moms’ Night Out as well.

Here are 5 Things I Learned from Writing Moms’ Night Out

1. Sometimes God gives you the desires of your heart even when they don’t look like what you think they do.

Writing Moms’ Night Out made me feel special. It’s as if God knew how much I’d love this project, and He honored me with it. He showed me He knows my heart even better than I do. He knew what would bring me great joy.

2. Sometimes God uses past struggles to encourage people we’ll never meet.

The main characters of the book are a teen mom, a ministry mom, and an overwhelmed mom. I’ve been all three! How crazy that I was able to share the struggles and journeys of each of these characters, mainly because they were my story, too.

3. Sometimes fictional stories hit our hearts deep.

I’m not too proud to admit that I cried in this movie a number of times. Yes, it’s a comedy, but there are also heart messages that hit deep. The most important one is, “Mom, you are enough.” I’m getting teared up just thinking about it.

4. Sometimes you think a project is about one thing, but it’s actually about something else.

Yes, I loved working on this book, but the new friends I’ve made while writing Moms’ Night Out are amazing! Because of working on this project, I’ve found heart-friends that I won’t trade for anything. (I’m pointing at YOU, Kerri Pomarolli!) I’ve often found that the people I get to work with are a bonus beyond the projects! Have you found the same?

5. Sometimes moms need a break . . . and they just need someone to get the ball rolling for the fun to start.

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve just gone out with mom-friends. After watching this movie, I realized I needed to do this more. I might have gone a little over the top because I’ve rented a whole theater for my girlfriends to watch Moms’ Night Out with me. (A little over the top.) All I can say is that it’ll be great to be surrounded by 148 dear ladies (and a few brave gentlemen). And no popcorn fights, please!

What about you? Do you need time out with friends? I highly recommend Moms’ Night Out.

Also, friend, don’t be afraid to talk to God about the desires of your heart. Yes, there are some things that seem over-the-top, but I’m discovering a God who loves to bless His daughters. Turn to Him with your desires and see what HE can do!

~Tricia

Do you want to be a Grumble Free Mom?

It wasn’t always easy and the results weren’t immediate, but after a year of no grumbling, our life as a family has radically changed. Now, instead of finding fault and looking for excuses, we find joy in the journey–whether rain or sun. We have learned to laugh at our struggles and look for God in the small inconveniences. Day in and day out we are growing and becoming more thankful for all we have.

I’ve been looking forward to sharing this journey with you since the beginning and now it’s finally here. Get yours here: www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

October 17, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Living Brave Every Day

I’ve never considered myself a brave person. I’m not one to bungee jump, and the best I’ve done on the ski slopes is the beginner’s run. (And with much trepidation at that!)

Stepping out and deciding to pursue writing was one of my bravest steps. Writing about the deep pain and struggles in my life—in my fiction and non-fiction—has been the bravest.

Yet I’ve done other things that are brave. Here are a few:

Adopting kids. John and I have adopted seven kids in the last five years.
Moving to Arkansas. We moved for a ministry position and found a new place to call home.
Inviting my grandma to live with us. She’s lived primarily with our family since 1999. She’s a joy to have in our home.

But as a writer there are other brave things I do, too. These are small, daily choices:

Putting aside my writing to take the kids on a nature walk, even though I have a pressing deadline.
Babysitting my two young grandkids and playing with them in the backyard, even though I have a pressing deadline.
Taking our kids to Disney on Ice, even though I have a pressing deadline.
Spending a day at Magic Springs theme park, even though I have a pressing deadline.

As I write this, I’m five days away from that pressing deadline. (Prayers are appreciated!)

Living Brave Every Day

Do you need a dose of bravery as you face hardships and challenges? Or maybe your “brave” is simply trusting God’s purposes in the midst of everyday life. Janet Thompson breathes life into women of the Bible, sharing brave choices and brave boldness. Yet she also reveals that bravery isn’t just about what we do, but how we believe—even in times of waiting and grief.

I love how Janet uses real women, with real challenges to help all of us face our fears and doubts in order to live victoriously. This is a wonderful book to read within a community or with a friend!

Get Everyday Brave here: https://amzn.to/30TmkyR

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

October 8, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Be The Change

Lately, I’ve been thinking there’s a lot of things I’d like to change.
1) I’ve actively started exercising and using a food journal to lose weight and get in shape.

2) I’ve been trying to curb my spending.

3) And I’ve been learning to be more thankful.

All of those things aren’t easy!

#1 and #2 are things that I now realize need to stem from the inside out. I’ve tried for a long time to “make myself be good.” Now I’m praying for a heart change.

I’m praying that God will fill me up so much of Him that I naturally strive to do the right things in His strength and with His wisdom.

#3 started because I’ve been reading Something More by Catherine Marshall. It’s an older book, but a good one. In it Catherine talks about “thanking God in all things.” She goes on to encourage readers to thank Him even for the challenging/painful stuff. I’ve started doing that more, and it’s amazing what a different outlook I’ve had. Usually, I’m a joyful person because I try to ignore the hard stuff and instead just focus on the good. But lately I’ve been thanking God for everything easy and hard, and somehow He’s been showing me the good IN it.

I know these are simple lessons. They are things God has tried to show me in the past. In fact, one of the lessons He’s taught (and retaught me) is that I don’t always need to look for change from external means … sometimes I’m called to BE the change.

This lesson first fit home after our family moved to Montana and were looking for a church home. There was one that God was connecting us to AT EVERY TURN, but personally I didn’t like it much. In fact, even when John and I felt God calling us there, I REALLY didn’t want to go to that church. Even though the people were nice, the music wasn’t that great and there was no children’s program for the kids. Yet, instead of complaining about it, John and I felt God telling us to do something about it!

Once we became members, WE started doing children’s church and new families started pouring in. Over the years the church grew and changed. It has become the type of place I longed for. We’ve been going there for thirteen years now, and it’s home. Yet at the time, I didn’t realize that I was part of the change!

Be The Change

Today, you might be thinking about changes in your life. Don’t stop. Don’t become complacent! Remember that God wants to fill you and help you. He wants you to offer Him thanksgiving in the easy stuff and the hard stuff, too. And mostly, if there is change that needs to take place remember that often YOU are called to be the change. What you want most is out there in the future … have faith in that! Have faith in Him!

No More Grumbles

The Grumble Free Year was another instance when God spoke clearly to my heart that I needed to change. That we–as a family–needed to change. We were in a holding pattern of grumbling and complaining, dissatisfaction and discord. The kids couldn’t go a day with some type of unhappy comment. That’s when I knew we had to make a change. We had to find a way to get in line with what God desired for our family–grateful and thankful hearts.

I’ve been looking forward to sharing this journey with you since the beginning and now its finally here. And I’ve put together some great pre-order gifts for you as well that you can get when you pre-order here: www.thegrumblefreeyear.com.

October 2, 2019 by Pamela Black Leave a Comment

How To Wait Patiently

Today I want to talk about waiting. We don’t like to wait, but the Lord often puts us in places of waiting on him. Let’s learn how to wait patiently.

How To Wait Patiently

Are you currently waiting on the Lord? Maybe you’re waiting for a job, a spouse or a wayward child to return home. Maybe you’re waiting for wisdom for the next steps or how to handle a hard situation. Waiting is hard because there is so little we have to wait on these days. We can microwave a meal in three minutes. We can journey across the globe in one day. If we want an answer to any question, Google has it in three seconds. Not to mention, we can send a text in one second without waiting for the mail to arrive.

In our fast-paced, instant-access society, when we suddenly don’t have what we want most, and we have to wait, we feel helpless, weak and powerless because we don’t know how to wait patiently.

Sometimes we even question God like David did in Psalm 13:1, “How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”

We wonder if God hears. We question if God cares. That’s called doubt.

Have you ever doubted God? I have. Years ago I felt God’s call to adoption. I waited and prayed for seven years (without nagging!) for God to put the same call on John’s heart too. Then I waited for two years as we did paperwork. And I waited another year after the paperwork was finished for a child. But the call never came. Instead, I was confronted with doors closing on the international path we’d chosen.

After ten years of waiting my heart was broken. Why God? Why?

In my brokenness, I turned to God. Even in tears, I told Him that I trusted Him. Verses like these resonate in my heart:

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

And in my waiting and seeking, I realized I wasn’t alone.

The Bible is filled with those who wait.

One of my favorite waiting stories is about a man who waited his whole life for a glimpse of the promised Messiah.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Luke 2:25-26

As he took the child, Jesus, in his arms Simeon proclaimed it was worth the wait.

“Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations, and he is the glory of your people Israel!” Luke 2:29-32

In Simeon’s waiting, He saw the Lord. And in our waiting, we also discover Him too. Every minute that Simeon waited made the joy of receiving even more precious.

Why does God ask us to wait? Waiting prepares your heart. Even when your mind feels ready for a task, your heart might not be there yet. Waiting allows God time to fill the gap between your head and your heart.

What to do while you wait:

1. Be thankful for who God is and what He’s done.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8). Thank Him, knowing the waiting comes from His compassion, grace and love. Treasure Him for all He is. Know that if you never receive what you’re waiting for God is enough.

2. Walk in obedience in what God has already called you to.

Living a righteous life happens one day at a time. Instead of trying to hurry God up, walk faithfully where He has you now.

3. Be honest in your struggle.

As I waited for adoption doors to open I shared my struggle. I asked friends to pray for my family. I shared how I didn’t understand why we were having to wait for doors to open to adopt a child when it’s clearly God’s mandate in Scripture. The amazing thing is that a praying friend was the connection with our daughter’s birth mom. In my willingness to share my struggle (not with complaining but with humility) God opened the doors.

4. Seek God for strength.

Waiting is never easy, but when we are at the end of ourselves it’s then we turn to—and depend on—God’s strength. “Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary,” Isaiah 40:31 NASV

5. Realize that the waiting is part of God’s ultimate YES!

Romans 11:34-36 says, “Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes.” (MSG). Even though the waiting was hard the final yes was much more beautiful than I ever imagined.

For me, Jesus’ ultimate YES wasn’t one child adopted but SEVEN. Yes, seven. When God opened the doors He opened a floodgate, and we adopted seven children in five years.

Looking back I’m so thankful for the time of waiting. I’m thankful that I allowed God to prepare my heart and my life. God’s YES was bigger than I ever hoped or dreamed.

Here’s a prayer for you:

Oh Lord, I know You’re a good God, but the truth is that I’m tried of waiting. I know You have the perfect answer. I trust You have the perfect solution, but waiting for the moment you decreed is tough.

Please be with me as I wait. Let me see You as I never have before. Help me to trust You and see You in new ways. Prepare my heart, Lord, as I wait, and finally thank You for Your ultimate yes.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Friend, today I’m also praying for you. I’m praying that God’s current NO will allow time, space and preparation for His ultimate YES. To God be the glory!

Waiting is difficult.

And difficult times are often when we grumble. I know I did. But as I grasped the beauty of God’s plan I became more aware of how the waiting can conform us to His likeness. When we grumble and complain we miss the opportunity to behold His majesty in our circumstances.

Last year my family and I embarked on a journey to living out a grumble free year and to grab ahold of the life of joy that God has promised us. And you know what? We did it! It wasn’t always easy and we weren’t always grateful. But we learned to find our peace beyond our circumstances and to thank God for that. That mindset has made all the difference in the state of our hearts.

These days we are living different lives.

Oh, we still face trials and disappointments, as everyone does from time to time. But we’ve learned to focus on the good and the Giver of good gifts–the best of which is Himself.

You might also like Don’t Despise the Wait.

October 2, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

When we adopted our two sweet children, we sort of went into “survival” mode. Both children had emotional issues, and they need weekly behavioral therapy. Bella was enrolled in a therapy school, and Casey had physical, occupational, and speech therapy. I was spending hours and hours each day on the road. I was happy if I could somewhat maintain the house, and assigning chores to my kids wasn’t even on my radar.

Now, things are different. My kids have graduated from all their therapy programs. They are sweet, happy children. You’d never know that a not so long ago they had major issues. (Thank you, God!) But they are still kids and they have normal daily struggles just like any other child–or adult. One thing that helps keep our order from falling into chaos is chores.

With such a big family, it would be impossible to accomplish all the things we need to get done every day if we didn’t share the work. We believe that’s part of being a family–everyone works together to keep things running smoothly. So we taught our children how to be responsible for themselves and others by doing household chores.

This is how we got started:

First, I found a FREE printable chore chart here.

I printed up several BLANK copies of the chart so I could tailor them for my kids.

This website also gave me great ideas of what kids could do at different ages.

How to create a chore time routine for your kids: (@TriciaGoyer #Balanced)

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Here’s a sample list we started with:

Bella

Pick up toys
Put laundry in hamper
Take dishes to sink after meal
Make bed
Set plates and cups for dinner
Match socks

Alyssa

Pick up toys
Put laundry in hamper
Sort laundry
Take dishes to sink after meal
Make bed
Set napkins and silverware for dinner

Casey

Pick up toys
Put laundry in hamper
Check mailbox
Take dishes to sink after meal
Make bed

As they have gotten older I’ve added more, but this was a great place to start!

If you’re just starting out with chores, know it might take a couple of weeks for your kids to get their chores down, but the work you put in now will be worth it. I saw this with my first round of kids. Just know that the more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later.

The more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later. @TriciaGoyer

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Teaching your children life skills doesn’t have to stop at folding laundry or picking up their things. When I realized that our family struggled with grumpiness and ungratefulness we embarked on a year-long journey to get grumble free. Find the book here and join us on the journey to gratitude and thankfulness in The Grumble Free Year!

Daily Prayer

Dear Lord,

Sometimes it’s so much easier just to do things myself than to train my children. Yet I know that so much of “today” is really about “tomorrow” and the men and women they will grow to be. Help me to be diligent, Lord, to teach them diligence. Help me to be faithful with my time, attention, home and resources, so my children will understand how to be faithful in all things you have so graciously given us.

In Jesus name, Amen.

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September 30, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How do you tell your kids about a painful decision from your past?

It was a story I did not want to tell. But as Sanctity of Life Sunday approached, my pastor asked me to share my story with the church — the story I had kept secret for many years. My abortion story. And while I understood this message could help other women find forgiveness, I also knew it meant I’d have to tell my kids — something I dreaded.

My kids were ages 10, 7 and 5. Although I was their mom, I thought they’d hate me when they knew the truth. After all, just how do you tell your kids that they’d have another brother or sister if it weren’t for their mom’s bad decision?

John and I prayed about how to tell our children. We knew that although they’d heard the word abortion before, they most likely didn’t understand what it was. Since they were still young, they didn’t need to know details. We also wanted them to know why many women terminate their pregnancy — because of fear, worry or pressure from other people.

A few days later, my husband and I explained to our kids that abortion meant a woman did not want to be pregnant and had an operation to end the life of her baby. I could tell from my kids’ faces that they were horrified. John shared why a woman might do this, and they expressed sadness for those women. Then, with tears in my eyes, I told them my story.

When sin is allowed to grow

With a shaky voice, I explained that when I was in high school, I had become pregnant. I said that when I visited a clinic, the workers told me it really wasn’t a baby yet and that everything would be better if I had the procedure. My kids listened as I told them that I had always wanted to be a mom, but I was afraid of having a baby as a 15-year-old. I was worried about what people would think.

I told my kids that I wanted to believe that what the clinic worker said was true because it seemed like an easy way out. So I ignored the nagging voice in my head that told me I was ending a life. After the abortion, I was heartbroken and numb. It took many years for the emotional pain to go away.

John and I also explained that I had not been following Jesus, and I had wanted things my own way. I read James 1:14-15 to my children: “But your own evil longings tempt you. They lead you on and drag you away. When they are allowed to grow, they give birth to sin. When sin has grown up, it gives birth to death” (NIrV). In this case, my sin led to the death of their brother or sister. My kids listened, and I could see sadness on their faces.

Finding forgiveness

Months after my abortion, I saw a woman…

Read How do you tell your kids about a painful decision from your past? at The Focus On The Family Website here: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/facing-the-truth/

If you or someone you know needs to speak with a counselor, Focus On The Family offers a free hour of counseling with one of Focus on the Family’s licensed and TBRI-trained counselors at this link! https://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/promos/counseling-services-and-referrals. For ongoing counseling, they also offer a local counselor referral service to vetted Christian counselors.

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September 25, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How To Find Peace in Chaos

How To Find Peace in Chaos. I know that most of the time I look encouraging to my online friends. Why? Well, I don’t want to be a complainer or a whiner. I truly believe we can do more by lifting up people than tearing people down. We can also live freer by rejoicing than complaining, BUT … (Did you see that “but” coming?) But this is something I struggle with.

Often in my day, I don’t have peace. Why? Because sometimes I do everything but ask for it. Deep down in the overwhelmingness of kids, marriage, deadlines, mentoring, homeschooling, and keeping up a house, I feel exhausted and trapped. It’s just too much, and I don’t remember to turn to God and to trust Him that everything will turn out. Instead, I attempt to work harder to “get things under control” and I rush around trying to fix things. I worry, complain (mostly in my head), and try to make things happen. I refuse to seek help and I forget how to find peace in chaos. This is so foolish!

Jesus made this clear to me today when I meditated on this verse this morning:

The Scripture tells us how to find peace in chaos:

“The Lord gives strength to his people, the Lord blesses his people with peace.” Psalm 29:11

Depending on my strength, I miss God’s. And rushing around, attempting to gain control, I miss peace. Lord, help me!

Of course, Jesus sees this, and today He reminded me (again) what I need to do. And it’s simple. All I have to do is to come to Him.

Jesus FULLY understands all you and I are going through, friend. He completely knows the situation and ALL the stressors we have in life. The best part is He is 100% capable of taking care of the situations … and taking care of me! He is all I need, and when I turn to Jesus all will be provided IN Him and FOR Him, for His glory!

Can I pray for you today? (And know I’m praying this for myself as well.)

Lord, right now my friend is so overwhelmed. You know what he/she is going through. Lord, you know the worries, fears, disappointments, and broken dreams that my friend carries deep inside. You know these internal worries are exhibited outwardly in so many ways–none of them good.

Lord, today I’m praying for your child who is reading this. I am praying that you will meet him/her at THIS moment. I pray Your presence will flood like a shower. I pray Your peace will fall like a gentle rain and my friend will surrender to You in the moment and throughout the day. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Friend, don’t just read this and be inspired … take time to go before God today and pray. Know that I’m getting on my knees today for my peace and yours. Jesus desires to come to you and wrap you in His arms of peace. Know that. Trust it.

When you turn to Jesus all will be provided IN Him & FOR Him, for His glory! @TriciaGoyer

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How To Find Peace in Chaos

Peace isn’t found in a place, it’s found in a person–the person of Jesus Christ. His peace trumps everything else. But we can make choices every day that make His peace easier to find and take ahold of. That’s one reason I wrote The Grumble Free Year. I realized that when I am grumbling and complaining, I am not focusing on the goodness of God and the truth that in Him we have all that we need to be joy-filled.

My family agreed to join me on a year-long journey to stop complaining and to allow God to show up in our circumstances. What we found was amazing and I can’t wait to share it with you. Our journey is available in our book The Grumble Free Year.

Join my 30-Day Grumble Free Challenge!

If you would like more peace and less grumbling, I have a 30-day challenge for YOU! CLICK HERE to sign up and you’ll get 30 daily emails with tips, ideas, prayers, and free printables to use with your family!

I would love to have you join me, and we can find peace together!