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How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

 

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption
How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

I’d like to think I’m an expert pray-er. I can clearly see how my prayers changed things. For example, I’ve had seven kids—not birthed from me—running around my house who are examples of that. Yet, the way that my prayers changed the future is different than you think.

God is not a genie in a bottle.

My prayers weren’t effective because I figured out the right words to make God do what I wanted to do. I used to think that. As a young Christian, I’d try all sorts of things:

  • praying in the morning
  • praying at night
  • praying on my knees
  • praying out loud
  • journaling my prayers

I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I believed deep down if I said the right things, at the right time, in the right way, that God could be swayed.

What I’ve since discovered is God has good plans for my life. He has hopes for me and a future.

The number-one thing that changes when I pray . . . is me.

Prayer opens up the connection between me and God. Prayer softens my heart to His will.

My prayers change the future because as I connect with Him, I’m willing to submit my will to His. As I submit and walk in His ways . . . my future is different than the path I would have taken myself on in my own according. And the future is changed.

Prayer changes the future because:

  1. I connect with God.
  2. I submit my will to His.
  3. I walk in His ways—not the ones I try to figure out.

I have dozens of examples of this, but I’ll quickly share one: adoption. Around 2000, I started praying for God to give me His heart. Soon I became interested in adopting. God tells us so many times to care for the widows and orphans.

My husband wasn’t on board, so I continued to pray (not nag). In 2007, John brought up the idea to me (yes!), and we filled out paperwork to adopt from China.

By the time we submitted our paperwork in 2008, the adoption Chinese program changed drastically, and the opportunity to adopt a healthy baby girl was no longer an option. By 2009, when I discovered I’d not have a Chinese baby anytime soon (or ever), I was crushed. I cried (I’ll admit it), but I also prayed for God’s will.

“Lord, give us the child YOU desire. I know you placed adoption on my heart for a reason.”

I’m telling the complete truth when I say that the very day I relinquished my will, I received a phone call about a birth mom looking for a home for her baby. March 2010, Alyssa joined our family—a nine-pound bundle of joy.

Even after bringing Alyssa home, I continued to pray for God’s will. (Lord, are there more children that you have for us?)

In 2012 Bella and Casey joined our home from the foster care system. Later on, God placed Lauren, Jordan, Maria, and Florentina into our lives. I love my children! I couldn’t imagine life without them. More than that, I know God placed adoption on my heart for a reason; it just didn’t look the way I thought.

Prayer changed the future because:

  1. I connected with God, and I discovered His heart.
  2. I submitted my will to His, and I relinquished myself to His path.
  3. I walked in His ways, . . . and He led me where I never expected.

Today, consider changing your future forever.

God has good plans for your life. He knows you’ll only be willing to step out into the future when your heart is changed through prayer.

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

As you submit yourself to His heart and His will, expect to walk down paths different than you ever expected. You’ll learn how prayer changes the future for adoption. Also, expect to have a partner in the journey. God—yes, the God of the universe!—will be stepping out in front of you along the way and leading you in His plans.

As we continued to pray God continued to lead. Today, we have ten beautiful children. We are so blessed. And it all began when we let God changed our future through prayer.

The Adoption Summit is a great opportunity for you to take the next step and learn more about adoption. And right now you can get a FREE ticket here: www.adoptionsummit.com

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins?  I used to feel the same way.  Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is not Punishing You for Your Past Sins
God is not Punishing You for Your Past Sins

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

Forgiven and Set Free

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

  1. In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
  2. Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love –  not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

 

 Further Resources:

Walk it Out With Tricia Goyer

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

 

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Live Your Life’s Dream… Inspired by God

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 (NIV)

As a speaker, one of my favorite things to do is encourage the audience to “dream big.” Too many times we put God in a box.

We’re afraid to step out of our comfort zones. We forget that God created the universe and can surely He can help us with our small dreams. There are many dreams God has helped me fulfill: starting a crisis pregnancy center, leading a mission team to Europe, and writing books for a living, to name a few.

Since I’ve seen dreams come true in my own life, I like to encourage others to dream big. Yet, lately I’ve been adding a P.S. to my message. Why? Because in my good intentions, I may have led people to become discouraged instead.

One of the problems with the message “dream big” is that we let our human minds measure what “big” is. We think it has to be fame or success or a huge blog. We think it has to involve starting a ministry or sharing Christ in an atheistic country.

This doesn’t always have to be the case. What is “big” to God? The “big” thing to God is obeying what He asks you to do. You could become famous, make it big, and become well-known—and it would amount to nothing. Or you can ask God what big is to Him – you might just be surprised.

Many years ago, my husband and I felt God telling us to walk away from some of our ministry opportunities in order to adopt several children from the foster care system. I will not become famous leading family Bible studies, watching my kids play soccer, or carting kids to homeschool co-ops. But after seven adoptions, I realize that to God, these are big things.

What dream is big to God in your life?

It’s a question you need to ask. It’s wonderful to dream big… just as long as you are sure you know that the direction of your dream was inspired by your loving heavenly Father.

Faith step: Take a minute and think about the dreams God has been speaking to your heart. Write them down, even though they may not seem big to the world’s eyes. Now, what is one step you can take toward them? Write that down too.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.


Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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How to Trust God

 

She didn’t expect life to turn out like this. For the last few years she’d grown in her trust in and relationship with God. She’d been a strong support for her family. She’d thought she’d done everything right . . . but had God even noticed? Standing at her brother’s funeral she didn’t think so. Surely God could have stopped this tragedy. Didn’t Jesus care?

The “she” I’m talking about is Martha in the Bible. She’d seen Jesus heal, yet when her family needed his touch, Jesus was a no-show. Most of us know the biblical story about how Jesus finally showed up a few days later and called Lazarus from the grave. It was a healing they hadn’t expected, and I can guess that Martha went to sleep that night with a new sense of trust. Maybe Jesus knew what He was doing. Maybe she could truly trust Him after all.

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this, Martha?” John 1:25-26

Jesus has asked me the same things many times—not with an audible voice, but in my spirit.

Do you believe? Do you trust me?

Do you trust I gave your child a strong will for a reason?

Do you trust this cross-country move is best for your family?

Do you trust I can do the work through you when you can’t imagine doing it yourself?

Do you trust this personal struggle of yours will be for your benefit—to cause you to turn to me, to need me, to surrender to me?

Do you trust?

In our lives, trust comes when we can’t see how God is going to bring any good out of the mess we’re in . . . and He does. Trust comes when our heart is breaking and Jesus shows up. 

“Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Song of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” John 11:27

Martha believed in her mind. But after she embraced her warm, fleshly, laughing brother, trust moved to her heart.

In my life there was a moment when I was seventeen and pregnant, when Jesus showed up in my depressed state and gave me a glimmer of hope. Deep inside I knew that He would be there for me.

Many, many times over the years He’s shown up again in dark moments. As I watch Him transform rejection, pain, hopelessness, and worry into avenues to extend His love and grace to me and to others, my trust grows.

Learning to trust reminds me of the broken, hurting children we’ve invited into our home over the years. John and I are a constant presence guiding them, loving them, embracing them, discipling them, and sharing our lives with them – but trust didn’t happen in one day, one week, or even six months.

Trust has grown when our children discover layers of love, grace, and help in everyday challenges. When they mess up, feel stuck, or find themselves overwhelmed, they’ve discovered we’re still there. And we’ll continue to show them how to do life in a loving, healthy way.

The only way to learn to trust God is to face each dark situation knowing that Jesus WILL show up. It may not be when we expect, or how we expect, but we can expect Him.

And when Jesus shows up, He’s going to behave in a way that’s different that we believe He will. He’s not going to give us what we think we need, but what we really need. Mostly, He’s going to give us Himself.

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party. I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16 (The Message)

How have you learned to trust God in your life?

Additional Resources:

Want to learn more about soul care and having a Happy Heart? Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love through Chaotic Circumstances will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Peace and joy can be yours—no matter what life dishes up.

Building up Your Faith When Your World is Falling Apart — Tricia chats with author Michele Cushatt about making sure your faith is strong when times are hard.

 

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How to Stop Your Child’s Angry Cycle

how to stop your child's angry cycle

How to Stop Your Child’s Angry Cycle

The flash of anger in my tween daughter’s eyes surprised me. We’d been camping, and Maddie’s 6-year-old sister, Aly, had just burned her finger on hot ash. As I treated the wound, Maddie strode up. “I hurt myself, too,” she said, with attitude. “Last night when we were making S’mores.”

“Hold on,” I said. As Aly screamed beside me, I tried not to show my frustration. “I need to help your sister first.” This was the first I’d heard of Maddie’s burn.

Maddie’s anger flared. “You always help her first! You don’t care for me at all!” She rushed back to our cabin as I finished bandaging Aly’s hand.

I walked back to the cabin, dreading the confrontation ahead. I could see how the next few minutes would play out: pleas and demands from me, mounting anger and accusations from her. There had to be a better way to manage these cycles of anger. It was making all of us weary, especially Maddie.

How to Stop Your Child’s Angry Cycle

Once a child is angry, it’s easy for him to stay in a cycle of thoughts, emotions and physical responses that feed his rage. Here’s what the angry cycle looks like:

  1. An event creates pain or distress that sets off the child’s anger. This event can be something another person says or does, or an unmet expectation.
  2. The pain triggers thoughts or memories that focus the child’s angry response on another person. For example, he may think you don’t understand his life or that you care more about a sibling.
  3. These “trigger thoughts” lead to a negative emotional response. Your child feels frustrated, rejected, fearful or enraged.
  4. These emotions cause a physical response, such as a flushed face, tense jaw, pounding heart and clenched fists. As anger takes control, a child finds it difficult to think rationally.
  5. Finally, a behavioral response occurs. The trigger thoughts, emotions and physical reaction evoke a fight, flight or freeze response.

Stopping the angry cycle

We often try to lecture our children or teach them a lesson in the midst of their angry cycle — right when they cannot think rationally. Our best efforts at correction will likely not get through when our child is in this highly emotional state; harsh discipline often make things worse…

Read more at Focus On The Family here: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/how-to-stop-your-childs-angry-cycle/

If you or someone you know needs to speak with a counselor, Focus On The Family offers a free hour of counseling with one of Focus on the Family’s licensed and TBRI-trained counselors at this link!  https://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/promos/counseling-services-and-referrals.  For ongoing counseling, they also offer a local counselor referral service to vetted Christian counselors.

 

 

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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How To Wait Patiently

Today I want to talk about waiting. We don’t like to wait, but the Lord often puts us in places of waiting on him. Let’s learn how to wait patiently.

Today I want to talk about waiting. We don't like to wait, but the Lord often puts us in places of waiting on him. Let's learn how to wait patiently.

How To Wait Patiently

Are you currently waiting on the Lord? Maybe you’re waiting for a job, a spouse or a wayward child to return home. Maybe you’re waiting for wisdom for the next steps or how to handle a hard situation. Waiting is hard because there is so little we have to wait on these days. We can microwave a meal in three minutes. We can journey across the globe in one day. If we want an answer to any question, Google has it in three seconds. Not to mention, we can send a text in one second without waiting for the mail to arrive.

In our fast-paced, instant-access society, when we suddenly don’t have what we want most, and we have to wait, we feel helpless, weak and powerless because we don’t know how to wait patiently.

Sometimes we even question God like David did in Psalm 13:1, “How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”

We wonder if God hears. We question if God cares. That’s called doubt.

Have you ever doubted God? I have. Years ago I felt God’s call to adoption. I waited and prayed for seven years (without nagging!) for God to put the same call on John’s heart too. Then I waited for two years as we did paperwork. And I waited another year after the paperwork was finished for a child. But the call never came. Instead, I was confronted with doors closing on the international path we’d chosen.

After ten years of waiting my heart was broken. Why God? Why?

In my brokenness, I turned to God. Even in tears, I told Him that I trusted Him. Verses like these resonate in my heart:

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

And in my waiting and seeking, I realized I wasn’t alone.

The Bible is filled with those who wait.

One of my favorite waiting stories is about a man who waited his whole life for a glimpse of the promised Messiah.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Luke 2:25-26

As he took the child, Jesus, in his arms Simeon proclaimed it was worth the wait.

“Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations, and he is the glory of your people Israel!” Luke 2:29-32

In Simeon’s waiting, He saw the Lord. And in our waiting, we also discover Him too. Every minute that Simeon waited made the joy of receiving even more precious.

Why does God ask us to wait? Waiting prepares your heart. Even when your mind feels ready for a task, your heart might not be there yet. Waiting allows God time to fill the gap between your head and your heart.

What to do while you wait:

1. Be thankful for who God is and what He’s done.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8). Thank Him, knowing the waiting comes from His compassion, grace and love. Treasure Him for all He is. Know that if you never receive what you’re waiting for God is enough.

2. Walk in obedience in what God has already called you to.

Living a righteous life happens one day at a time. Instead of trying to hurry God up, walk faithfully where He has you now.

3. Be honest in your struggle.

As I waited for adoption doors to open I shared my struggle. I asked friends to pray for my family. I shared how I didn’t understand why we were having to wait for doors to open to adopt a child when it’s clearly God’s mandate in Scripture. The amazing thing is that a praying friend was the connection with our daughter’s birth mom. In my willingness to share my struggle (not with complaining but with humility) God opened the doors.

4. Seek God for strength.

Waiting is never easy, but when we are at the end of ourselves it’s then we turn to—and depend on—God’s strength. “Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary,” Isaiah 40:31 NASV

5. Realize that the waiting is part of God’s ultimate YES!

Romans 11:34-36 says, “Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes.” (MSG). Even though the waiting was hard the final yes was much more beautiful than I ever imagined.

For me, Jesus’ ultimate YES wasn’t one child adopted but SEVEN. Yes, seven. When God opened the doors He opened a floodgate, and we adopted seven children in five years.

Looking back I’m so thankful for the time of waiting. I’m thankful that I allowed God to prepare my heart and my life. God’s YES was bigger than I ever hoped or dreamed.

Here’s a prayer for you:

Oh Lord, I know You’re a good God, but the truth is that I’m tried of waiting. I know You have the perfect answer. I trust You have the perfect solution, but waiting for the moment you decreed is tough.

Please be with me as I wait. Let me see You as I never have before. Help me to trust You and see You in new ways. Prepare my heart, Lord, as I wait, and finally thank You for Your ultimate yes.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Friend, today I’m also praying for you. I’m praying that God’s current NO will allow time, space and preparation for His ultimate YES. To God be the glory!

Waiting is difficult.

And difficult times are often when we grumble. I know I did. But as I grasped the beauty of God’s plan I became more aware of how the waiting can conform us to His likeness. When we grumble and complain we miss the opportunity to behold His majesty in our circumstances.

Last year my family and I embarked on a journey to living out a grumble free year and to grab ahold of the life of joy that God has promised us. And you know what? We did it! It wasn’t always easy and we weren’t always grateful. But we learned to find our peace beyond our circumstances and to thank God for that. That mindset has made all the difference in the state of our hearts.

These days we are living different lives.

Oh, we still face trials and disappointments, as everyone does from time to time. But we’ve learned to focus on the good and the Giver of good gifts–the best of which is Himself.

 

You might also like Don’t Despise the Wait.

Don't despise the waiting when God gives you those moments when you need to trust in Him.

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Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

When we adopted our two sweet children, we sort of went into “survival” mode. Both children had emotional issues, and they need weekly behavioral therapy. Bella was enrolled in a therapy school, and Casey had physical, occupational, and speech therapy. I was spending hours and hours each day on the road. I was happy if I could somewhat maintain the house, and assigning chores to my kids wasn’t even on my radar.

Now, things are different. My kids have graduated from all their therapy programs. They are sweet, happy children. You’d never know that a not so long ago they had major issues. (Thank you, God!) But they are still kids and they have normal daily struggles just like any other child–or adult. One thing that helps keep our order from falling into chaos is chores.

With such a big family, it would be impossible to accomplish all the things we need to get done every day if we didn’t share the work. We believe that’s part of being a family–everyone works together to keep things running smoothly. So we taught our children how to be responsible for themselves and others by doing household chores.

This is how we got started:

First, I found a FREE printable chore chart here.

I printed up several BLANK copies of the chart so I could tailor them for my kids.

This website also gave me great ideas of what kids could do at different ages.

 

How to create a chore time routine for your kids: (@TriciaGoyer #Balanced)

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Here’s a sample list we started with:

Bella

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed
  • Set plates and cups for dinner
  • Match socks

Alyssa

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Sort laundry
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed
  • Set napkins and silverware for dinner

Casey

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Check mailbox
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed

As they have gotten older I’ve added more, but this was a great place to start!

If you’re just starting out with chores, know it might take a couple of weeks for your kids to get their chores down, but the work you put in now will be worth it. I saw this with my first round of kids. Just know that the more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later.

 

The more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later. @TriciaGoyer

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Teaching your children life skills doesn’t have to stop at folding laundry or picking up their things. When I realized that our family struggled with grumpiness and ungratefulness we embarked on a year-long journey to get grumble free. Find the book here and join us on the journey to gratitude and thankfulness in The Grumble Free Year!

Daily Prayer

Dear Lord,

Sometimes it’s so much easier just to do things myself than to train my children. Yet I know that so much of “today” is really about “tomorrow” and the men and women they will grow to be. Help me to be diligent, Lord, to teach them diligence. Help me to be faithful with my time, attention, home and resources, so my children will understand how to be faithful in all things you have so graciously given us.

In Jesus name, Amen.

 

 

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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A Forever Home ~Hope for Orphans

A Forever Home~ Hope for Orphans

A Forever Home ~Hope for Orphans

I know my writing work is important because I get emails, tweets, and Facebook notes from online readers. But God reminds me often that my ministry isn’t just online … it’s offline, too.

There are seasons when the most important heart I can touch is within arm’s reach.

My ministry isn’t just online…it’s offline & in arm’s reach @TriciaGoyer #adoption

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I open my arms and the small girl steps forward and enters my embrace. Even though I expect her to be more hesitant, she asks me to hold her. I cradle her thin, frail frame and peer into her blue eyes. Just five years old but her eyes are filled with stories . . . ones she’s not yet able to tell me. Maybe over time she will.

I thought my life became unsettled when my husband and I welcomed two foster children to join our family. I don’t think I know “unsettled.” Not really.

Not like this sweet girl.

“It’s always scary going to a new home,” she confided in me just a few days after joining us. Tears fill my eyes as I hear her words, but I try not to let them show. The file the social worker gave me is three inches thick, and after reading the reports I discover our home is only one of many in recent months. Those homes were only meant to be temporary, but ours is meant to be her “forever.” Our words tell her that. When will her heart start to believe it?

She is the older one, and she cares for her younger brother still. She alerts me when he’s waking from his nap. His voice is barely a squeak as it calls for “Mama,” but she hears it.

I tell her that she can just be a kid now; I’ll watch out for her brother. That’s a concern she’ll no longer have to carry. She nods, but I can tell…

She’s waiting to see if she can really believe that, trust that.

Some of her emotions are hidden, and others are displayed too loudly, too vocally, too wildly. She cries over the smallest problem and then looks to me for help. I can read the question in her eyes, “Are you going to help me with this? And this? And this?” She wants to make sure. She’s has a hard time believing it’s true. Believing that I’ll be there. That I’ll care.

And even when she’s naughty I don’t get angry. Compassion seeps out. I know what she’s gone through . . . at no fault of her own. She was innocent and so many others have wounded her.

I open my arms to my new daughter. She has given me a glimpse of the love of God as I’ve never known.

I understand His love for me better. I know His compassion for me more. He knows the pain I carry, too, often at no fault of my own. And when I act out, or cry out, or reach out, He—my God—wants nothing more than to open His arms of love. He CANNOT wait for the day when I’m ushered into His forever home.

I thought we were opening our home to help the orphans, but I am the one who is helped.

I’ve never felt so weak as a mom, unsure of my words and actions. And yet I’ve also never felt so strong, for it is God’s strength that fills me. It is His love that pours through me as my brown eyes meet her blue ones and radiate one message, “Daughter, trust me. This is your forever home.”

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the sweet little lives you’ve blessed me with and the constant reminders they show me of Your love. May my parenting point them to you, the perfect Father. What a comfort to know my forever home is in your loving arms!

A Forever Home ~Hope for Orphans

Maybe adoption has been on your mind as well, but you have questions. How can we manage the financial component of adoption? What would the process look like? Are we enough to help a child in need of a family? Believe me, everyone has asked the hard questions. And for good reason–adoption is a commitment to be a forever family.

But don’t be afraid. There are answers. If you ask, I believe that God will guide your decisions and your family as you seek His will for adopting. And right now there is a place to get many of your questions answered–the Adoption Summit. It’s completely online and a perfect way to access the information you need to make any decision regarding adoption.

As an adoptive mom, I know how important it is to be as prepared as you possibly can. The Adoption Summit is a great opportunity for you to take the next step and learn more about adoption. And right now you can get a FREE ticket here: www.adoptionsummit.com

God's Heart for Adoption

For more posts and information on adoption, check out my adoption directory!

 

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Calming Angry Kids With A Million Praying Moms

Calming Angry Kids With A Million Praying Moms

Today’s episode of the Million Praying Moms podcast is for every mom who has been in the whirlwind of dealing with an angry child.

You’ve asked yourself so many questions, but in the end, you just need relief…something to help turn the tide toward a more peaceful home.

Friend, today’s episode is for you. 

Calming Angry Kids With A Million Praying Moms

MPM-Podcast-Episode-17

On today’s episode of the Million Praying Moms Podcast I spoke with Erin and Brooke at Million Praying Moms. I hope you’ll find hope and help through this conversation.

Click here to tune in and listen to Calming Angry Kids With A Million Praying Moms!
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Psalm 3 3

These prints are yours FREE as a digital download (frames not included) when you become a quarterly subscriber to Pray the Word Journal on or before September 6th!

Details here!
Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

 

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God’s Heart for Adoption

God’s Heart for Adoption

I first thought about adoption around 1999 when I was reading an article about orphanages in China filled with baby girls. At the time, John and I had three young kids ages 10, 7, and 5. Around that time I had also just gotten my first book contract.

I talked to John about adopting an orphan, but he didn’t think it was a good idea. The idea of adding more kids into our chaotic life wasn’t appealing to him. Not to mention the cost, which was $20,000+. Oh, and I should mention my propensity to take on more than I can chew. One of John’s roles in life is to protect me from my good intentions.

Years later the kids grew up, and John was the one to bring up the idea of adoption with me. I jumped on the chance. I was SO excited about adopting a baby girl from China, but just as we turned in our paperwork, in 2008, things changed. They slowed down the number of adoptions. It looked like a 4-5 year process. I was heartbroken.

God’s Heart for Adoption

I clearly remember one day when I was crying out to God, “Why did you even put this on my heart if it’s not going to happen?” (And by “happen” I meant in the way I wanted, with the beautiful, Chinese baby girl that I imagined.)

I mentioned children from the Heart Gallery a few times in passing, but I didn’t think much more about it until I read a book called Kisses for Katie. It was about a young woman who adopted thirteen children in Uganda. I read the book on the way to a MomLife retreat, and I was moved.

I felt God speaking to me, “If she can adopt thirteen children in a third-world country, can’t you open your home to a few more?” That night I asked a few friends to pray that John’s heart would be open to adopting from the foster care system.

Later, when I called home, these were the first words out of John’s mouth, “Did you know that adopting from the foster care system is free?” As I heard my husband’s words, my faith grew. Adoption wasn’t “my” thing that I needed to “talk my husband into.” Adoption was on God’s heart. God’s Heart for Adoption was penetrating John’s heart.

There is no doubt in my mind that adoption is on the heart of God. In Ephesians 1:5 the Bible says, 

“In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will . . . “

God sees us all as worthy and gave His son that we might be adopted into His family. In Psalms 68:5-6a it says, 

“A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…”

God’s heart is to heal and restore. His desire is to show His love to this world through us. The adoption story is the story of all who have come to know Christ and become part of the family of God.

Maybe adoption has been on your mind as well, but you have questions. How can we manage the financial component of adoption? What would the process look like? Are we enough to help a child in need of a family? Believe me, everyone has asked the hard questions. And for good reason–adoption is a commitment to be a forever family.

But don’t be afraid. There are answers. And I know that God will guide your decisions and your family as you seek His will for adopting. And there is a place to get many of your questions answered–the Adoption Summit. It’s completely online and a perfect way to access the information you need to make any decision regarding adoption.

As an adoptive mom, I know how important it is to be as prepared as you possibly can. The Adoption Summit is a great opportunity for you to take the next step and learn more about adoption. And right now you can get a FREE ticket here: www.adoptionsummit.com

God's Heart for Adoption

For more posts and information on adoption, check out my adoption directory!

 

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

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Sometimes Love Grows {Adoption Hope}

Sometimes Love Grows

Sometimes Love Grows

In my 25 years as a mom there have been many homecomings as I brought my children home for the first times. When Cory was born, I was a 17-year-old single mom, and we returned to my parents’ house. With Leslie and Nathan, John and I lived in low-income housing while he was in school. There was no designer nursery, but I did have room for a bassinet next to our bed.

We adopted Alyssa as a baby. She was six days old, and we knew for two and a half months that she’d be coming. Yet again there was no nursery, no crib set, nor any wall hangings. We brought Alyssa home just a few days before our family moved 2,000 miles from Montana to Arkansas. The first days of getting acquainted with our new daughter were spent in the front of a U-Haul.

In 2013, we had another homecoming. We adopted five-year-old “Sissy” and two-year-old “Buddy” from the foster care system. Instead of two months of preparation, we had two days. Bunk beds were set up, and dresser drawers were filled with clothes, but how can you really prepare for two children who’ve faced trauma, lived in numerous homes, and have already set up walls around their hurting hearts? John and I had gone through months of training, but then there was the moment when there were two kids sitting in car seats in the back seat. Could we really do this? Would love come?

I’d like to say the love was instantaneous, but that’s the thing of fairy tales. When it comes to welcoming in new foster or adoptive kids sometimes love grows one day at a time. Love is a choice—a choice that’s made even in the middle of fits, or crying in the night, or anger that flows from gazes. Anger that other people caused, and anger that is now my job to ease.

Sometimes, love grows one day at a time #adoption @TriciaGoyer

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With my newborns, the love seemed to be instantaneous. With these older ones, it’s something that builds and grows. And that’s OK. Love is a verb. And a love that grows is just as beautiful as love that emerges.

Have you thought about adopting but question if you’ll be able to love them as much as your biological children? It’s a good question to ask.

Love may not happen within minutes or days, but when you give of your home, your family, and your heart . . . love finds its way in ordinary times and on ordinary days.

Sometimes Love Grows

Maybe you’ve been reading and wondering, could love grow in our hearts for another child? Maybe right now you’re feeling the whisper in your heart to learn more. I know that whisper. I know that feeling. That’s why I’m excited to be a speaker in the upcoming Adoption Summit. The Adoption Summit is completely online and a great way to get all your questions answered and more. Learn from educators, guest speakers, and parents just like you who wondered–is adoption for me?

Click HERE to get your FREE ticket!

Sometimes Love Grows

Here are other blogs I’ve written about our adoption journey:

How to Adopt for {Almost} Free

Choosing to Adopt: One Couple’s Story

Adoption {She Said}

Adoption {He Said}

The Sad News About Adoption in Our World

Meet the New Goyer Children (our announcement in 2013!)

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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