friends

September 6, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

How To Keep Your Faith Strong Over Time

Last week John and I were able to spend time with a couple who has been our friends for twenty-eight years. We live 1,200 miles apart now, so any time we have together is precious.

As we talked about our children and where they are in life, I was amazed again by how quickly time passes. When we met, we had toddlers and infants, and now our kids are grown with families and lives of their own. (Oh, yes, and we still have younger ones at home, too! A double challenge!)

Time passes quickly, and it makes me think about meeting up with my friends twenty-eight years from now. Where will my children be? I can’t even guess. Where will I be? Hopefully still in a close relationship with those I love. Hopefully enjoying new friends, too.

And hopefully stronger in faith and closer with Christ.

My friends and I are mostly the same as we were twenty-eight years ago, but we have walked both light and dark paths along the way. We’ve faced heartache, but we’ve seen God work, too. We’ve dealt with loss, but we can also rejoice that God has give us so much. And more is still to come – we care for our children now, but before we know it we’ll be the ones being cared for.

I realize this even more because I’m the caretaker for my grandmother who lives with us. I do her laundry and cook her food. I drive her to her appointments and dole out her medication. And I pray for her. Coming to a place where one is no longer able to care for herself is a vulnerable place to be!

To be dependent and know it is humbling. To be losing your mental capacities and know it is hard. To feel one’s body is weakening—and not being able to do anything about it—is a struggle. My grandmother tells me often that getting old is the hardest job in the world, and I believe her!

Yet even we our body fails, our mind weakens, and daily life takes work, there is Someone we can turn to and place our faith in.

In Psalm 71:9-10, King David prays this prayer to God, “Do not reject me when I am old or abandon me when I lose my strength.” Since King David had a close, personal relationship with God I have a feeling that this reminder was more for him than for God. It was a reminder that God would be there. That he would not be abandoned.

Before last week, I’d been looking forward to getting to see my friends. I wasn’t worried they might have a few more gray hairs or crows feet since I’d last seen them. I wasn’t worried that I did, either. I was looking forward just to connecting with their hearts!

I like to think of Jesus looking at us the same way.

He can see each of us growing older, but He’s most concerned about our hearts. All of us have bodies that will eventually fail, but we also have hearts that can—and will—grow stronger as we turn to Him.

I know this because I’ve seen the spiritual growth in my friends over the years. I know this because I’ve seen my grandma draw closer and closer to Christ through Bible study and prayer even as her body fails.

Faith is knowing that where we are weak, He is strong.

When we turn to Jesus, He will strengthen us from within. It’s also knowing that the friendships in Christ that we enjoy now will be taken to even a newer, deeper level when we enter eternity.

1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

That’s something we can all look forward to!

August 13, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Cultivate A Redesigned Life {A Guest Post}

Today on the blog we welcome Tracy Steel, author of A Redesigned Life.

Enter below for a chance to win a copy of A Redesigned Life! Winner will be e-mailed. Note: This post contains affiliate links.

All of us are living a life we did not design, but one that God is redesigning for us. Like a human interior designer or artist uses a set of design principles to help them create, God uses his own set of codes to create a couture life for each of us. Recognizing what these are is key to uncovering the purposes of God when life doesn’t go as planned.

In her new book, A Redesigned Life, author Tracy Steel considers six principles of design and how God also uses the principles of movement, emphasis, pattern, contrast, balance, and space to redesign our lives. Each of these principles enable us to uncover something spectacular about the purposes of our creative God. The following excerpt from her new book focuses on the principle of emphasis and how it helps us to see the no’s of God differently.

Pops of color and the no’s of God

Emphasis creates a focal point in a design which brings attention to the element or area that is most important. . . .

If everything is emphasized (all the text is large and bold, all the images are animated, everything is in bright colors) nothing will stand out, and grab the viewer’s attention. If everything is emphasized, nothing is.[i]

I love simple and elegant design. We’ve all seen pictures of a living room with its crisp white walls and cream sofa. Imagine a coffee table in the middle of that living room. On top of the table sits a glass vase filled with a bouquet of orange tulips or powder blue hydrangeas. Or perhaps there is a turquoise-and-white paisley pattern rug under the coffee table. Maybe there is a large abstract oil painting hanging on the wall composed of green, blue, and purple horizontal stripes. Our eyes are drawn to the flowers, to the rug, or to the oil painting because of the pop of color they provide among all the white. This is the essence of emphasis as a design principle. Emphasis makes us stop, helping us focus. A designer uses shapes, texture, or color to create emphasis.

Imagine the same living room but now everything in it is red—from the couch to the walls to the flowers to the rug. I don’t want to linger or enjoy the space because it’s overwhelming and nothing grabs my attention. There’s too much red. Nothing is emphasized.

White Space

In the same way, our world is pressing us to be like an all-red room. We must be all things to all people all the time, it seems. Good at everything. Involved in everything. Know everyone. I’m tired of the pressure, of all the striving, competition, and backbiting. Give me some white space, please. I need God to give me emphasis and so do you.

God is not asking us to be all things to all people all the time. He’s the one who is capable of doing and being this. He’s the one who is all-knowing. God alone is our ever-present help and shield. We’re only to add our little pop of color into the corner of the world in which he places us. We do this through the emphasis that God has designed for each of us. The beautiful thing is, all our emphases or callings will look different. However different they may be, our little pops of color should cause others to rest the eyes of their hearts and minds upon God. And if we are doing too many things, we will be way too red or stressed out and no one will want to linger around us either.

When God Says No

But what if we really feel like we found our calling or purpose, and then it doesn’t happen? Sometimes the emphasis we wish for or desire in our hearts will not come to pass because God will say no and not allow it to happen. We may assume this is because God is not good or fair. Or maybe we believe we are not good enough for God to use us, or that God doesn’t care about the dreams or passions that we feel inside us. But this isn’t true.

Look at God’s no from a different perspective. God, because he is good and is in the process of sanctifying us, could be saying no to our good desires simply because they are not in line with the emphasis he has designed for our overall life. And God’s no enables our pop of color to be a beneficial and beautiful one. Here it is in a nutshell:

God’s no = not our emphasis.

God’s no = the revealing of his emphasis for us.

God’s no = his protection, preventing us from becoming an all-red room.

And when God says no, that means we will have the opportunity to say yes to something that he has decided is better for us, because in his providence he knows and has already designed what is to come. So if you ever thought that by now you’d be living in the city or home of your dreams and making one million dollars and, well . . . you aren’t, it’s okay to admit your disappointment or feelings of failure to yourself and to your God. Ask him to heal you of those feelings. Realize that you’re beautifully gifted to do something else with your life and that God is redesigning you so you can bless the lives of others and bring glory to him.

Don’t be all things, just be you-things.

Your emphasis matters in God’s eyes. May this encourage you whenever your life doesn’t go as planned.

Enter here to win a copy of A Redesigned Life!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Tracy Steel graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in interior design in 1998 and has a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Phoenix Seminary. As a project designer, Tracy created and coordinated the design and space planning of commercial spaces for clients such as Bank One, Wells Fargo, Express Scripts, DHS, and Lockheed Martin. Moving from one type of interior design to another, Tracy then worked in full-time youth ministry, serving as the director of female students at Scottsdale Bible Church. God’s true design for Tracy now involves improving the interior space of the hearts and minds of women around her. Currently stationed in Washington, DC, this military wife and mother of two enjoys linking up with other bloggers, leading Bible studies at her local church, and speaking at various moms’ groups and women’s ministries events nationwide. She is also the author of Images of His Beauty, a 10-week Bible study for young women that focuses on identity, overcoming and healing through Christ, and bearing the image of Christ.

Connect with Tricia

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | BookBub

Chapter 3 Living Out Your Pop of Color for God [i] Donna Tersiisky, “The ABCs of Visual Design: Emphasis,” accessed June 23, 2018▲, http://www.tersiiska.com/design/principles/.

July 31, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

Writer Wednesday with Jen Babakhan

Today on Writer Wednesday we welcome Jen Babakhan, author of Detoured.

Enter below for a chance to win a copy of Detoured! Winner will be e-mailed.
Note: This post contains affiliate links.

Today on Writer Wednesday Jen Babakhan, author Detoured, shares what a typical day in her life looks like.

Writer Wednesday with Jen Babakhan: A Day in the Life

7am-9am: Most days I wake up about an hour before my boys (ages 5 and 7), and start the morning the way all the experts advise against: checking my email. As a freelance writer, most of those I work closely with are on the opposite coast, meaning that by the time I wake up in California, they’ve already been working awhile. I try to address any urgent emails from the comfort of bed, and then get ready for the day. I homeschool my boys, so during the school year our mornings look different than they currently do. We will have breakfast, I’ll spend some time reading the Bible while they eat and wake up, and then we begin our school day.

9am-1pm: While they’re working on any independent work, I’ll take a moment to check my email and social media, and try to mentally plan out the rest of the day. School usually lasts until lunch, when like any other stay-at-home mom, I’ll serve up only the healthiest of foods, organically grown from our garden, which my children will devour ravenously. JUST KIDDING. I make either chicken nuggets, or macaroni and cheese, or whatever they claim they will eat that day.

1pm-4pm: After lunch is usually when I’m able to carve out a chunk of time to promote my new book, Detoured:The Messy, Grace-Filled Journey From Working Professional to Stay-at-Home Mom, or to work on any freelance projects. If I’m working on freelance work, this usually includes lining up or conducting interviews with sources, or doing the actual work of writing (which, surprisingly, is a small part of the process).

While I work, my boys will either play together cooperatively, or hold a cage-fighting match in my living room, and most days it’s a mix of both. The life of a stay-at-home-mom-turned-writer means that I’ve had to learn to write during very brief uninterrupted moments of the day (these moments are the ten minutes here and there when I’m not fetching a snack—usually this is when they are eating said snack). This means that a lot of times my work never feels great, or even good enough— but it’s done, and I have to be satisfied with that. It’s during this chunk of the day that I often wind up playing super-heroes in the playroom or kicking a soccer ball, instead of putting the finishing touches on a piece, or researching.

4pm-8pm: At this point in the day, as afternoon fades into evening, I’ll step hesitantly away from the computer and wander into the kitchen to figure out what we will have for dinner. By the time my husband comes home, it feels as though we’ve lived a few days in the span of the ten hours he’s been gone, and we are all more than ready to settle in for the evening. After dinner, I’ll read or succumb to their pleas to play video games with them, and before long it’s glorious bedtime for all of us.

Each day is a little different than the next (just enough to keep my sanity), and though they’re all busy and chaotic, each one is blessed— and I am grateful.

If you would like to follow more of my adventures as a stay-at-home mom turned writer, you can find me at my website: www.jenbabakhan.com, on Instagram, @jenbabakhan, or Facebook, @jenbabakhanauthor.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Jen Babakhan, author of book Detoured

Jen Babakhan is an author living in California with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of Detoured: The Messy, Grace-Filled Journey From Working Professional to Stay-at-Home Mom. Jen is also a contributor for Reader’s Digest, and her work has been featured various national news outlets.

Website | Facebook | Instagram

More about Detoured

Does having it all even exist?

Former marketing executive turned third-grade teacher, Jen Babakhan never expected her transition to stay-at-home mom would bring feelings of grief and loss. She felt God was calling her to be home with her newborn son, and she wanted to be with him—yet she felt conflicted about giving up her career.

Detoured chronicles the often-bumpy path Jen took to contentment and peace in her new role at home. She honestly shares the struggles and joys of being home, and the truth she uncovered about “having it all.” She invites you to walk beside her on this journey and find:

a new confidence and peace in your decision to place your career on hold
an invitation to discover your true identity that has nothing to do with your job title
a sense of community and the knowledge that you are not alone in your motherhood journey

Stay-at-home motherhood isn’t easy—but it can be the most beautiful detour you ever take.

Purchase a copy of Detoured
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | CBD

Are you new here? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

June 6, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

The 75th Anniversary of D-Day ~Remembering the Brave~

Today, on the 75th Anniversary of D-Day I’m thinking of my friend Harley. This is his story that he shared with me of that day.

Invasion at Omaha Beach

By Harley Reynolds

Co. B, 1^st Battalion, 16^th Infantry Regiment, First Infantry Division

I woke up the morning of June 6, 1944, knowing the next day I would wake up in France . . . if at all. As a machine gun section leader for the First Infantry Division, this would be my third invasion. The first was at Arzew in North Africa. I was part of a special team ordered to avoid all fighting, instead going directly to and securing the vital bridges that crossed the river to Oran. Bridges that proved vital for the troops coming behind us.

The second invasion was in Gela, Sicily as a machine gun squad leader. At Gela we freed American prisoners that had been captured in North Africa and faced angry enemy fire on the beaches. Now I expected to be under Nazi fire once more. But from the first moment, as our landing craft moved toward the rendezvous area, I knew this invasion of France wouldn’t be playing out as gracefully as it was orchestrated.

The small green light from the boat we followed appeared and then disappeared again, as we rose and fell with the waves. The water was getting rough, and I thought several times we would crash into the craft ahead of us. A line of glowing phosphorus trailed our boats. Would the Germans spot it and pinpoint us?

We were trained to keep our heads down until time to unload, but being in command I wanted to know what was going on around us. I looked over the side many times. What I saw caused my heart to pound. During training we’d been informed of the planned invasion, and our part in it, but to see the plan come together was mind-boggling. No cameras filmed the pictures left in my mind. And as I viewed the scene, both fear and responsibility rose inside.

An unimaginable number of ships and craft materialized with the light of dawn. Transport ships unloaded troops and equipment. Battleships cruised the shoreline, firing just over our heads, point-blank at the beach. Landing crafts, by the hundreds, shuttled to and from the shore.

As we approached, crafts behind us shot rockets, attempting to blanket the beach with fire and providing shell holes for our cover once we made it on shore. Unfortunately, most shells fell short and there were no holes for us to use as cover once we hit the sand.

Planes had also bombed the beach earlier, but I saw very little evidence of their handiwork. In fact, there was a noticeable absence of planes over our beach as we approached—even German planes, which I was glad of. I later learned our planes were inland, keeping enemy planes grounded. Thank God.

We circled for what seemed like hours in our rendezvous area, near enough to hear the action on the beach. There wasn’t much conversation. Instead, we swapped glances as we listened to the small arms fire. We were in for a hot reception, and the waiting is the worst.

The coxswain steered our boat in and called to the other crewman. “This is it! Here we go!” He thrust his hand foreword like a cavalryman’s charge. His face was calm and determined from his place at the armored box on the port stern.

Another crewman was in a similar box on the starboard stern. A machine gun was mounted in front of him. But even to this day I can’t remember if he ever fired a round.

I eyed my team. Ours was the Headquarters Squadron, made up of myself and the company radioman, ready to disembark first. Two machinegun squads, one on either side of the boat was to come off next. First Squad Leader was Sgt. Dean Rummell, from Cherry Tree, Pennsylvania. And Second Squad Leader was Sgt. James N. Haughey of Sheridan, Indiana. Then came company headquarters personnel: messengers, wiremen, and our company commander—disembarking last to make sure that everyone got off the boat.

We had practiced our landing formation many times before. We would draw a line on the ground with stakes and ribbons to mark off the same size as our landing craft. Now it was the real thing.

Yet our timing for our landing at intervals was as much awash as the storm. Some boats made it back after unloading. Others were partly washed on shore, struggling. Some bottomed out, racing their motors and getting nowhere.

We were supposed to land twenty minutes after the assault wave, yet as we landed some of them landed with us. Confusion doesn’t really describe it. Behind us other crafts took direct hits. Some even flipped sideways, dumping troops into the water.

I saw some craft heavily damaged by shellfire being tossed around by the waves. I saw others empty of troops and partly filled with water as though abandoned, awash in the surf. Men struggled for the pitiful protection they gave.

Bullets flew all around us—overhead and hitting the water. I wondered if they would hit us too. Foremost on my mind was getting as many men off as possible, and into positions of safety on the beach.

On my last look over the craft’s side, seconds before the ramp went down, I spotted motionless bodies at the water’s edge. Beside them wounded men struggled through rough surf. Others lay in the water with only their heads exposed for the protection it gave them.

I don’t remember my feet hitting water, but as I fanned out, the radioman was hit beside me, falling. Another one of our crewmembers was hit too. I darted to the right, looking for any cover. Seeing none, I headed for an obstacle made up of what appeared to be rails welded together. It reminded me of the balls and jacks we played with as kids. Too many bullets were flying not to be hit. While crossing the beach, I felt tugs at my pants legs several times. Bullets hit the sand in bursts and ricocheting in front and to the side of me. What was keeping me up?

Then I spotted a sort of raised roadbed running parallel to the beach. Many men were lying behind it. Looking like the only cover, we headed for it too. As soon as I reached the safety of the shingles I called out, asking if the others were okay. Two of my men answered. “Yes.” We waited for what seemed like hours, under very intense machine gun, rifle, mortar, and artillery fire, until the tide almost lapped at our feet. Dead bodies were washing in, and I knew we couldn’t remain there. We had to do something. But what?

The unexpected help came from a small man, pushing a bangalore torpedo under the wire on the roadbed. I don’t know where he came from; suddenly he was there within a few feet. The torpedo was in two sections. He exposed himself to put the first section under the wire, and I yelled to Rummell and Haughey. “We’re going through!”

The torpedo man exposed himself again to attach the second half of the torpedo. Then, he very carefully inserted the fuse lighter, turned his head my direction, and pulled the string. I braced myself for the sprint forward but nothing happened. The fuse didn’t light. After a few seconds the man calmly crawled forward, exposing himself again. He removed the bad lighter, replaced it with another and started to repeat the first moves. He turned his head in my direction, looked back, pulled the string and then flinched. All of a sudden, his eyes seemed to have a question or pleading look in them, and I knew a German bullet had hit him. Death was so fast for him, but his job was complete. The torpedo blew, making a clear path for those coming behind. He was one of the greatest of the unknown heroes of Omaha beach.

Knowing what I had to do, I went through the trip wire, high stepping it just as we did on obstacle courses. Troops on the beach held back, but not for long. They almost beat us to the top of the hill.

This was just the beginning of the invasion for me. I faced a pond to cross, minefields to weave through, and witnessed bodies blown up before my eyes. More men sacrificed their lives, doing their jobs while additional soldiers streamed forward to join us at the top of the bluff.

There were heroes that put themselves in harm’s way, and others who were excited to be injured, heading back down the beach, knowing the war was over for them.

And still more men came. As I looked back at the beach from the top of the ridge, I noted that it continued to fill with vehicles and troops. They streamed inland, ever moving forward, fighting their way to the bluff.

As I stood watching them come, I knew I had made it through the worst. I was alive. I had survived as a participant in what is now one of the most famous invasions in history.

And while I’m thankful I made it, I do not want to forget those who gave their lives doing their duty. It was their bravery and their actions, which made it possible for the rest of us to share their story—our story.

Here is a video of him, too:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiqvHa5gnVw

And another one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=20&v=RvW9PY0GefU

May 6, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Spring is a Celebration!

They say ‘April showers bring May flowers.’ But when you’re an author (and a homeschooling mom!) it also brings a busy conference season!

However, when May comes around the first thing I think about is my WWII friends. Because my first novel From Dust To Ashes was inspired by the liberation of Mauthausen Concentration Camp on May 5, 1945, this time of year is always significant to me.

And I have to admit, April was full to the rim … but it was joyful because I was intentionally focused on celebrating what is important.

Celebrating Family

First of all, our family went away to celebrate Easter. Because of this, we were able to focus on our Savior and His resurrection in a peaceful, joy-filled space. We spent quality time together without the distractions of home life.

Second, my sweet grandbaby Amelia came to visit from the Czech Republic. The holiday allowed for a more relaxed schedule and consequently, she got to bond with us all individually. (This is her with Uncle Nathan!)

Certainly, a highlight was meeting my long-lost brother! (Who I just discovered as a result of taking a DNA test through 23 and Me!)

I had no idea I had another brother until a few months ago, and we look so much alike!

Celebrating Homeschooling

I LOVED speaking at homeschool conferences this spring, and I’m thankful my kids get to travel the US with me. Here are Jordan and Bella in Ft. Worth (on our way to Waco).

I also loved meeting so many of you! It’s always a highlight of conferences when I get to connect with my readers and friends in person.

I’ll be in Mobile, AL this weekend. If you’re nearby, please come say hello!

Celebrating Heroes

On May 5, 1945, Mauthausen Concentration Camp was liberated by the members of the 11^th Armored Division. I met members of that division fifty-six years after the fact. Having known them is one of my greatest joys. Here is a photo from an Austrian newspaper of my friend LeRoy “Pete” Petersohn being honored at Mauthausen. Listening to Pete’s stories (and those of other veterans) inspired me to write my novels From Dust and Ashes and Night Song.

To honor these men, these novels are back in print. (And I even designed the covers myself!)

You can buy them here.

THANK YOU for all those who have loved these stories and shared them. It’s so important to me that these stories go on. Please enter to win a free copy of From Dust to Ashes!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I love my new covers, and I love reading inspiring reviews, like this one from GoodReads:

Finally, to tie it all together … I’m thankful for the men and women who fought for freedom, so I can enjoy life and enjoy my family. Their sacrifice is not forgotten!

I’m thankful for the men I once knew, for they’ve grown my appreciation for the family I have today!

(This was me with Tom in 2002 … what an honor to know these veterans!)

Celebrating Relationships

Above all, I’m thankful for YOU friend! May you hug your family close as we remember the liberation of Mauthausen and what we celebrate at Easter–the day God liberated us all from sin and death through Jesus Christ!

Tricia

April 29, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Invite Others Into Your Healing through Transparency

Years ago, in 2005, I faced one of the hardest struggles of my life. I thought I was doing so well—as a writer, as a mom, and as a wife. One November, I pondered my family and my work, and I thought things couldn’t get any better. I even prayed Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

God did some searching, and I didn’t like what He found! God showed me areas of my life that needed healing.

It started with an email from an old boyfriend, and my heartbeat jumped to my throat. I’d thought about Steven* from time to time but that moment all the 14-year-old emotions came rushing back. I felt like that young teen again who’d found her “first love.” And as I thought about him I became dissatisfied by my current life. (How horrible is that?!)

Even though I broke off all communication with Steven,* in the coming months I still struggled with my emotions. What I realized is that even though Jesus had given me a new life I was still wrapped up in the old graveclothes. My good friend, Joanna Weaver, gives us a good picture of those graveclothes in her book,

Lazarus Awakening: Finding Your Place in the Heart of God:

I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Lazarus shuffle out of the darkness of the tomb, wrapped in thin strips of linen according to the custom of the day. His arms and legs were probably wrapped individually, which allowed some movement. But to say the man was restricted would be an understatement.

The stench of death surely lingered around him. Depending on the original sickness, bloody patches may have marked the burial garment here and there, interspersed with yellow-crusted infection. Though a welcome sight to those who loved him, the resurrected Lazarus might also have been a bit frightening to behold.

I wonder what Mary and Martha thought when Jesus said, “Loose him, and let him go” (John 11:44, nkjv). As happy as I’d be to see my brother alive, I wouldn’t want to touch the strips of linen that had clung to his rotting flesh. After all, who knew what lay beneath the bandages? Just how resurrected was he?

Unwinding graveclothes. It’s a dirty job. But someone has to do it. [Tweet that!]

Someone has to do it. And that’s one of the factors of Lazarus’ story that shocks me most. For while Jesus Christ did what only He could do—bring a dead man back to life—He invited those who stood around watching to help with the process.

“Loose him, and let him go.” It’s the same command Christ gives the church today.

Help In Healing

Don’t you love that? Jesus invited others to help Him with the process of healing! In a past post I shared hints for helping others who need healing It’s a great resource for helping others find the healing they need. But now, I want to speak to YOU. Do you have areas in your life where you need healing? Are you tired to the odor of death and stench that seem to cling to you? Do you wonder why the pain and the shame from the past still can cling to you, even though you’re a new creation in Christ? If so, keep reading. And be willing to ask others for help.

Joanna’s words are powerful to me because she was one of the friends who helped me remove my graveclothes. But in order for her to do that, I had to be transparent and show her my mess. I had to confess Steven’s* email and the emotions that I thought were long gone. It wasn’t possible for me to do this in my own strength. I needed help. Here are three ways I invited Joanna—and other friends—in:

3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

I asked for prayer. Are you struggling? Ask your friend(s) to pray. Find people who you can trust. Let them know your struggles, and count on their prayers to hold you up.
I asked for Scripture passages. After I asked for prayers, I also asked my friends for their favorite Scripture passages. I spend time reading them, meditating on them and praying them myself. My friends pointed me to verses I’d forgotten. And, as I read, God’s word healed me.
I listened to their advice. This was the hardest part, but I listened to the advice of my friends. They shared how they overcame their own struggles in their own lives. They spoke with love, but they didn’t sugarcoat the situation. Sometimes it was hard to be transparent with my struggles and to listen, but my godly friends steered me in the right direction. I’m so thankful for that.

What are you struggling with? Open up and let your friends know. Be transparent and invite others into your healing. And be willing to help those around you to remove their grave clothes and find healing. That’s the way God has designed things. We need each other in so many ways.

Today, spend time praying about the parts of your life that you need to be healed from.

I’m also excited to be an upcoming guest on Joanna Weaver’s new podcast, THE LIVING ROOM! This podcast will be such a blessing and to kick things off, she’s doing a Podcast Launch Giveaway!
(ENDS APRIL 30th @ midnight!)

To find out more and enter visit here:https://joannaweaverbooks.com/TLRgiveaway/

Find healing today. @TriciaGoyer shares 3 ways to invite others into your healing here:

Click To Tweet

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

January 4, 2018 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

YOU can be the answer to the race problem

Did you know YOU can be the answer to the race problem. Don’t think we don’t have a race problem in the US? Maybe your thoughts would change if you talked to someone different than you. Or maybe you know there is a problem, but you don’t know what to do to help. I hope this post helps you

YOU can be the Answer to the Race Problem

There are many ways you can build friendships and connect with others across ethnic and cultural lines. Here are seven ways you can be the answer to the race problem, taken from my book Walk It Out.

Ask God to change your heart. Pray and ask that He helps you see the joy of unity and diversity in relationships. Ask Him to help you notice.
Get to know your neighbors. My neighbor Tracey is much better at this than I am. She owns a boxer and walks him in the morning and at night. As she walks, she stops and talks to people also out walking or who are working in their yards. She knows people all around our neighborhood, and she’s been key in bringing people together.

Who lives in your community? Who is being included and who is being excluded? Whose voices are loud, and whose voices are silent? What are their challenges? What are their needs? Who might you take a step toward to build or grow a friendship? Can you invite someone into your home or join a new friend in an activity you both enjoy?

Reach out to your local college or university. Every year in the United States over one million international students come to study here. They attend small community colleges and large universities and often struggle to connect with people beyond their campuses.

According to one study, 40 percent of students report they have no close American friends. A statistic I’ve often heard quoted says that 80 to 90 percent of international students visiting the United States never enter an American home. The world is coming to our door, and we’re ignoring it.

YOU can be the Answer to the Race Problem

Connect with a coworker. Do you have a coworker whose race or cultural background differs from yours? Go out of your way to open up conversations and build a friendship.
Host an exchange student. Our family hosted an exchange student from the Czech Republic the year after our first mission trip there. She lived in our home for nine months, during the school year. Andrea is forever considered one of our kids, and our family learned so much about her life and culture during her stay with us.
Build family relationships with the families of kids on your child’s sports team or in their school. Make an effort to reach out to families whose children have similar ages and hobbies as yours. Most children naturally look beyond race and culture when making friends, and we should follow their example.
Try to understand another’s history. See your new friend as an individual and not a stereotype. And even if you mess up and commit a cultural faux pas, the relationship you’ve created will make it easier for both of you to laugh off your mistakes. One of my favorite books of recent years was The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson. This book chronicles the decades-long migration of black citizens who fled the South for northern and western cities, in search of a better life. The stories shared were lovely, heartbreaking, and shocking.

YOU can be the Answer to the Race Problem

Reading books like this have helped me understand the race problem, the injustice, and fear in my community and my country. The race and socio-economic issues in the news today didn’t happen overnight. Instead, they are old issues that society has pushed under the surface for too long. Laws or government programs won’t fix race problems. They will only be solved by individual people changing and asking God to show them His heart. When our awareness of God’s heart for diversity and unity expands, we realize reconciliation is not someone else’s problem, but ours.

Unity within the body of Christ—and within our communities—isn’t something to tack on; it must become who we are. And what happens when we make this a priority? We become light to a dark world. A world that since the beginning of recorded history has been divided by race and social status.

Purchase a copy of Walk It Out. Awareness is the first step toward solving the problem.

Eight ways you can be the answer to the race problem from @TriciaGoyer

Click To Tweet

June 21, 2017 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

7 Simple Ways to Connect with Your Neighbor This Summer

Do you want to connect with your neighbor but struggle for authentic ways to do so? These 7 simple ways to connect with your neighbor this summer can actually be used all year long. I pray these ideas will help you reach out to those God has placed in your space. Be brave, take a step of faith, and meet those around you. Who knows, you just might make a lifelong best friend?

7 Simple Ways to Connect with Your Neighbor This Summer

Have you connected with your neighbor lately? And, no, I’m not talking about jumping on their wi-fi! It gets too easy in our everyday lives just to stay within our homes and yards and not reach out to the people right night door. I have to admit that’s my tendency. I’m content just hanging out my my family, but I’ve also found great joy connecting with my neighbors down the street and right next door.

“In the grand scheme of things, relationships are much more important than bricks and mortar, and our neighborhoods are much more than collections of houses,” wrote authors Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon in their book, The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door. “As we began to reach out to our neighbors, we quickly discovered that the benefits were far-reaching. We ended up being cared for by our neighbors as much, if not more, as we cared for them. We began to experience what it’s like to have a strong support system right outside our front door. All of us have a need for a genuine community, and nothing beats the frequency, availability, and spontaneity of connecting deeply with others who live nearby.”

Want to connect with your neighbor this summer? Here are 7 ideas. @TriciaGoyer

Click To Tweet

If you’re looking for ways to connect with your neighbor this summer, here are 7 simple ideas.

1. Be friendly:

Wave, offer help, strike up a conversation. When you see your neighbor heading out to check their mail do the same and ask about their day.

Desperate for a way to slow down and connect, my friend Kristin Schell put an ordinary picnic table in her front yard, painted it turquoise, and began inviting friends and neighbors to join her. Life changed in her community, and she writes about it in her new book The Turquoise Table: Finding Community and Connection in Your Own Front Yard. What Kristin learned and I have too is the best first step is to be friendly and available.

2. Share treats:

When we moved into our neighborhood a few of the neighbors stopped by with treats—and they all weren’t homemade. Even a bag of Oreos let us know that we were welcome. This friendly gesture also started a relationship as I did the same a few weeks later.

3. Host neighborhood events:

My friend Monica hosts a neighborhood bar-b-cue every year. Another friend opens her home for a Christmas Tea. My friend Michele hosts a soup night the first Thursday every month. Closer to home, our neighborhood has a cul-de-sac fireworks show every year. Everyone prepares their own food, but we all hang out together and watch our kids have fun.

4. Exercise together:

When I connected with one of my neighbors Tracey, she asked if I wanted to walk with her. There was no need to drive to a gym, we would meet halfway between our houses and walk up and down the streets in the early morning hours. In the past, I’ve done this with other neighbors and we’ve made this a prayer time as we shared and prayed together.

5. Be generous:

My friend Catherine shares extra garden produce and garden plants with her neighbors. When I’ve found a great sale at the grocery store I’ve been known to pick up extras for a friend.

6. Help those who cannot help themselves:

My son and daughter-in-law lives next to a lady in her nineties. They often stop over to do odd jobs for her, and she always rewards them with homemade treats after.

7. Start a neighborhood Bible Study:

“Natural relationships changed my spiritual destiny,” wrote Amy Lively in her book, How to Love Your Neighbor Without Being Weird. “We need more than an hour of church on Sunday, we need friends around us all day, every day—in the trenches of our living rooms and the battleground of the playground. We need fearless women who are brave enough to tell us when we’re wrong and wise enough to remind us of God’s righteousness.”

It may be surprising how many of your neighbors would be open to studying your Bible with you. Or—if you don’t have time for a Bible Study—considering sharing some of your Christian books and chatting about the topics. I always pass on my favorite books to my neighbor Laura, and we’ve had some great conversations over time.

As you can see it doesn’t have to take a lot of effort to reach out and connect with your neighbor. Mostly you just have to put on a smile and step out the door.

Blessings,

Tricia

7 simple ways to connect with your neighbors this summer originally appeared on The Better Mom blog.

March 8, 2017 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

Just Because Gifts … Let’s Take the Time to Be Thankful

Do you have someone in your life who has been a shining light? Someone who has given of themselves and really made a difference?

Whenever I consider who has been this for me, I think of my friend Christie Erwin. Christie is the founder and director of Project Zero. Project Zero’s mission is this: 1+1=0. One waiting child plus one welcoming family equals zero kids in foster care waiting for forever homes. Christie works hand-in-hand with Arkansas Division of Children and Family Services to accomplish this mission. And the Goyers personally know that this equation works.

Christie and her daughter, Cara, raising money for waiting kids.

When John and I felt called to adopt from foster care a second time we felt that God had specifically placed something on our hearts. We felt drawn to adopt a sibling group of two or three older girls who would soon be aging out. Why this specifically? In my work with teen moms I’ve seen so many young women who aged out of foster care and who were pregnant within a few months. Vulnerable and alone, they turned to young men for love and to create a family unit they didn’t have. They often found themselves in the family way, but without the love they were looking for.

Other young women who aged out of foster care also became victims of sex trafficking. We felt God telling us that we needed to do something to solve this problem before it became a problem, even in a small way. We couldn’t help every young woman, but hopefully we could help a few.

This is the first photo we saw of the girls—the one that never made it to the Project Zero Heart Gallery.
Click here for more information about Project Zero.

I shared our heart with Christie through an email, and she responded right away. Christie said it “just so happened” that she heard about a sibling group of old girls just the day prior. They’d just faced a failed adoption, but their adoption specialist still had hope for these girls. She’d contacted Christie in hopes of getting their photo on the website and Heart Gallery. It turns out the girls’ photos—a sibling group of four girls ages 10-14—never made it to the website. After talking to their adoption specialist John and I felt these were our girls. And over the next many months we worked to do the home studies and paperwork to make that happen.

Whenever I look at my girls—who are now 100% Goyers—I think of Christie. If it hadn’t been for her relentless work for the cause of the orphan we would have never had this connection.

I considered buying a gift for Christie for an upcoming holiday, but then wondered, “Why wait?” So after talking with my girls, we decided to get Christie flowers just because. We ordered a bouquet from ProFlowers, and the girls and I delivered in one chilly, February night. Christie was in bed sick, but she sent us a photo the next day with her thanks.

Who has impacted your life? Who do you need to thank? Who needs a Just Because vase of flowers from you? Who’s day do you need to bless?

It’s important to be thankful, but it’s even more more important to show our thanks in small ways. I’d love to hear who you’re thankful for and how you want to thank them! Today is a good day to show your thankfulness.

Who needs a “just because” gift from you?. @TriciaGoyer

Click To Tweet

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

July 12, 2016 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

5 Things I Learned from the Gift of Silence {by Jill Lynn Buteyn}

Silence can be deafening. Especially when you don’t know what to say. The blank space is there waiting for you to fill it. To make it all better. When my friend Kara Tippetts was fighting breast cancer, I learned a new normal. I remember her talking about how it was okay not to talk. The Gift of Silence, she called it. I’d never thought of it that way before. I’d thought of words as a gift. But in the many times we sat together while Kara was sick, silence did become precious.

Through Kara’s illness, I learned a few things about how to navigate the unexpected gift of silence.

I learned to choose wisely.

What I really wanted to write there, was that I learned to shut up. But that phrase has such a bad connotation. I don’t love hearing or saying it, but in this situation, it really rang true for me. To simply close my mouth, to realize everything I’m thinking doesn’t need to be spoken was a great step for me. I would often filter what I was about to say. Did it need to be said? Was it going to add to the moment or detract from it? Sometimes I said it—whatever it was. Other times I opted not to. Thankfully when I said the wrong thing, Kara had grace for me.

I stopped offering cures and fixes.

This was a hard one for me. It was so incredibly painful to watch Kara suffer. We all wanted to fix it. To make it better. But many times, when our friend or loved one is suffering, we can’t band aid it. They are fighting. They are making the choices. My job was to support and love. It felt too simple, and I wanted to do more. But what Kara needed wasn’t directives or suggestions. She simply needed us to sit in the trenches with her.

I learned to say something.

Before Kara, when I would see someone who was suffering, be it cancer or loss or any other debilitating illness, I would be so afraid to bring it up that I didn’t say anything at all. I thought I was helping—protecting them even—but now I see that I wasn’t. Kara was already thinking about cancer. If I mentioned it or said I was praying for her, she welcomed that. Saying something doesn’t mean asking hard questions, it simply says, I see you. I see your hardship and I’m going to love you through it. I’m here for you.

In the same way, with loss, we are not ruining someone’s day when we mention a memory of their loved one or that we’re thinking about them. Better to say their name, to bring them up, then to let their memory fade.

It’s okay for encouragement to be simple.

I know I need to say something when someone is suffering, but I don’t always know what. I don’t want to ignore what they are going through, but sometimes I don’t have the words. Often, I will simply hug a friend and say I’m praying for them. An encouraging text can be sent. A card in the mail. Even a voicemail that says I’m thinking of you. These are all ways we can encourage without having perfect words. And another gift you can give? Don’t expect or require an answer. Let your encouragement be simply that, without any effort or return on their part.

I started to savor the silence.

Kara often slept while friends were with her. I look back on those moments and think, we didn’t need to be there. But we all craved that time together. As Kara faded, each minute was precious, and being with her even while she slept was comforting. It was her personality to want people around—I’m sure we wouldn’t have done it otherwise. But she liked the comfort of opening her eyes to see someone there. Just to be in each other’s presence was a gift, and many times there were no words exchanged.

During the few years I knew Kara, I remember coffee dates and play dates and birthday parties and school functions. But I also remember the moments in between all of that. Hospital stays and chemo. Helping with the day-to-day needs. Despite the hard days, those memories are incredibly special to me, even though they weren’t always filled with conversation. When you’re with a friend or loved one who is suffering and you don’t know what to say or do, be at peace. Trust God to guide you and remember that your presence speaks for itself. The only language we really need is love.

Saying something doesn’t mean asking hard questions, it simply says, I see you. @JillLynnAuthor

Click To Tweet

{About Jill Lynn Buteyn}

Jill Lynn Buteyn is a co-author of Just Show Up with Kara Tippetts, and an author of inspirational romance (as Jill Lynn). She lives near the beautiful Rocky Mountains with her husband and two children. Jill’s a fan of laughter, thrift stores, boots and chocolate.

Connect:
Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest | Jill-Lynn.com

On Sale for $1.99!

The Memory Jar: Amazon | CBD |Barnes & Noble

The Promise Box: Amazon | CBD|Barnes & Noble
The Kissing Bridge: Amazon | CBD | Barnes & Noble

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

March 29, 2016 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

4 Ways Your Healthy Friendships Bless Your Kids

I say the same thing every time my kids are about to meet one of my friends: “Oh, you’re just going to love her!” Because of my work as a writer, many of my friends are also writers, and they are scattered all over the US (and world!). We meet up with friends on road trips, and sometimes my friends visit and stay in our home. Having healthy relationships with my friends is important—not only for me, but for my kids. Here’s why:

1. My friendships are a model for my kids.

From my friendships my kids learn how to treat friends, how one should be treated, and how to grow relationships in healthy ways. Kids do what we do, not do what we say. If we want our kids to have healthy friendships, we need to model them! Friendship is a skill that is learned, and the best place for your kids to learn it is from YOU. When you are trustworthy, caring, and honest with your friends, you children will learn to be those things, too.

2. My friendships become my kids’ friendships.

In many cases my friends become my kids’ friends, too, as my children grow. My friends usually have great stories to share, and they have great advice. My 23-year-old daughter has great relationships with many of my friends … and I love it because I know that if they share a story or a bit of advice it will be helpful and godly.

Read the rest of this post on Melissa Nesdahl’s blog!

You can purchase the e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or CBD.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.