God

September 6, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

How To Keep Your Faith Strong Over Time

Last week John and I were able to spend time with a couple who has been our friends for twenty-eight years. We live 1,200 miles apart now, so any time we have together is precious.

As we talked about our children and where they are in life, I was amazed again by how quickly time passes. When we met, we had toddlers and infants, and now our kids are grown with families and lives of their own. (Oh, yes, and we still have younger ones at home, too! A double challenge!)

Time passes quickly, and it makes me think about meeting up with my friends twenty-eight years from now. Where will my children be? I can’t even guess. Where will I be? Hopefully still in a close relationship with those I love. Hopefully enjoying new friends, too.

And hopefully stronger in faith and closer with Christ.

My friends and I are mostly the same as we were twenty-eight years ago, but we have walked both light and dark paths along the way. We’ve faced heartache, but we’ve seen God work, too. We’ve dealt with loss, but we can also rejoice that God has give us so much. And more is still to come – we care for our children now, but before we know it we’ll be the ones being cared for.

I realize this even more because I’m the caretaker for my grandmother who lives with us. I do her laundry and cook her food. I drive her to her appointments and dole out her medication. And I pray for her. Coming to a place where one is no longer able to care for herself is a vulnerable place to be!

To be dependent and know it is humbling. To be losing your mental capacities and know it is hard. To feel one’s body is weakening—and not being able to do anything about it—is a struggle. My grandmother tells me often that getting old is the hardest job in the world, and I believe her!

Yet even we our body fails, our mind weakens, and daily life takes work, there is Someone we can turn to and place our faith in.

In Psalm 71:9-10, King David prays this prayer to God, “Do not reject me when I am old or abandon me when I lose my strength.” Since King David had a close, personal relationship with God I have a feeling that this reminder was more for him than for God. It was a reminder that God would be there. That he would not be abandoned.

Before last week, I’d been looking forward to getting to see my friends. I wasn’t worried they might have a few more gray hairs or crows feet since I’d last seen them. I wasn’t worried that I did, either. I was looking forward just to connecting with their hearts!

I like to think of Jesus looking at us the same way.

He can see each of us growing older, but He’s most concerned about our hearts. All of us have bodies that will eventually fail, but we also have hearts that can—and will—grow stronger as we turn to Him.

I know this because I’ve seen the spiritual growth in my friends over the years. I know this because I’ve seen my grandma draw closer and closer to Christ through Bible study and prayer even as her body fails.

Faith is knowing that where we are weak, He is strong.

When we turn to Jesus, He will strengthen us from within. It’s also knowing that the friendships in Christ that we enjoy now will be taken to even a newer, deeper level when we enter eternity.

1 Corinthians 2:9 says, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.”

That’s something we can all look forward to!

August 21, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins? I used to feel the same way. Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love – not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

Further Resources:

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

August 2, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

Just Be Available to God

Just Be Available

If you want God to work in your life, then just be available! Be available AND believe He will move on your behalf. You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. When you learn to trust God completely and trust in His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you down the right path. Let me tell you how I know!

Fifty-two years ago, there was a woman about to give birth. She was young and didn’t know how she could afford a child without her parent’s help. She hadn’t talked to her former boyfriend in months–she didn’t even know how to reach him. How could she tell him she was having his child?

This young woman attended church some, yet her dialogue with God was stilted. How could God let this happen to her? What would her life be like now?

A baby girl was born, and upon holding her child this young lady knew things would be okay. Perhaps this baby was a gift, not a burden as she supposed. So this woman raised her daughter the best she could, and while she wanted to give her child more than she had…

History has a way of repeating itself.

When the daughter became a young woman she found herself in the same situation—living at home, pregnant, scared. The daughter knew she could raise this child. After all, her mom had done it. But what would her life be like? How could God let this happen to her?

If you haven’t guessed already – I was the daughter.

I was born to a single mom, becoming a single mom myself as a teenager. At age seventeen, God gave me a son. My boyfriend was out of the picture, and I faced raising a child alone with little education, no money, and – maybe, according to the world – little hope for my future.

Now if you take this story at face value, I am nothing more than a statistic.

According to government research, most daughters of young mothers go on to be teen mothers themselves. They face lives of hardship, living on welfare for the most part—becoming a burden rather than an asset to society.

Yet, I am not a statistic. And you know why I’m not a statistic? Because God doesn’t do statistics.

Did you hear that?

God doesn’t do statistics. In fact, He likes to blow them out of the water.

You see, God has a history of seeing something that no one else does. Like seeing a king in a shepherd boy named David, seeing an apostle in a young zealot named Paul, and seeing a mighty warrior in a frightened nobody named Gideon.

God has X-ray eyes that see right through any outward characteristics or any national statistics. His X-ray eyes scan down to the heart.

And what did God see? He must have seen something worthwhile. Because . . .

At age 52, I’m a multi-published author of magazine articles, Bible study notes, curriculum, and many books. My book for teenage mothers was nominated for a prestigious award. I’m a national speaker, traveling to share God’s good news.

While in my twenties I helped to launch a Crisis Pregnancy Center, helped start numerous abstinence programs, and launched support groups for Teen Moms.

Just Be Available

Now, if I were not a believer, all these would be things I could really tout. But honestly, I can say that it doesn’t have to do with me at all.

It’s about:

A BIG God with BIG dreams.
A God who has made an agreement with me that is eternal, final, and sealed.
A God who is constantly looking after my safety and success.
A God who is strong in my weakness.
A God who sees the future sees the past and has a perfect plan for me.

Well, I guess the whole truth is that I do have something to do with it. It’s only a little something, but I guess it makes a pretty big difference.

See, God can be all those things in my life, but only if I let Him.

There is one thing I must do . . . and that is Be Available. Of course, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Here I am, God – use me.” I didn’t just clear my schedule and wait for God to show up.

Rather, the steps toward my availability were a work in progress. They started on the day I was six months pregnant and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I like to look at that as Day One.

In those 34 years from then to now, I’ve learned a lot.

Lesson #1: Sometimes being available means stepping away from the status quo.

For me, that meant moving 1,000 miles away. Seriously, 1,000 miles. You see after I gave my heart to the Lord, I birthed a beautiful son. Not too long later, God gave me an amazing, Christian husband and two more children. Then He asked us to move . . . (in a roundabout way.)

First, God put us into a community of like-minded people. Our friends longed for a simple life away from the hurry and worry in California.

Next, He placed a desire in our hearts to raise our children in a better place – a place called Montana. We’d talked about it with our friends, we’d dreamt about it, and hoped that many someday it would come true.

Then, we decided to pray. My husband and I got on our knees and prayed that IF it was God’s desire He would make it clear. John had just graduated from college, and I was raising three small children under the age of 5.

We knew we’d be leaving our families, leaving our friends, leaving everything we knew. We had no job in Montana, no money to move; in fact, we’d never even been there before! Still, we had a desire. One we couldn’t shake.

At the time, my husband sold computers on commission in a small store. He’d usually sell 1-2 a week. He went to work the next day after our joint-prayer, and sold 11 computers! Enough to pay off our current bills with enough left over to move and live on. It was the confirmation we’d been looking for.

So we did it. We packed up our three kids and moved. Our families thought we were crazy.

They were sure we were joining some commune or something. We saw Kalispell for the first time as we drove in with our stuff. Within the week, we were renting a house. Within three weeks, my husband had a far better job than he had in California. And within six months, we’d purchased our first house. In less than a year, we were plugged into an amazing church and ministering to children in ways we’d always dreamed of.

We serve a BIG God with BIG dreams.

You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. But when you trust that fact. Trust God completely. Trust His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you to the right path.

Seeing God at work and what He did with our lives when we were available made me hungry for more. I wanted to experience God at work like that again.

Henry and Mel Blackaby say, “Watching the activity of God from a distance can never compare with the thrill of being fully involved in the Spirit’s active work.”

You have to want God. Not just want to work for Him or learn about Him, but truly want Him. You have to want to experience Him at work in your life. You have to be hungry for what only He can give—a hope and a future.

Prayer

God, I want to trust you. I want to be available for the big plans you have for me. Lead me to the right path. I am hungry for a hope and a future.

What BIG DREAM is God whispering into your heart? Maybe, like me, you feel God pulling you towards words, towards writing and speaking and sharing His message. If that sounds familiar then maybe you need to join me in the Write That Book club!

Making your writing dreams become a reality is tough. You have ideas but you wonder if any of them are good. You have no idea how to connect with agents and editors, and what in the world is book proposal anyway?

I’m here to help, and I’ve invited some of my friends to help you, too. They are professional agents, editors, authors, and marketing and publicity team members. They’re the best of the best in the Christian publishing industry. Together, we want to help you reach your dreams.

To help you do this, I’ve created Write That Book. This premier group provides education, inspiration, and connection with other writers and experts. Learn all the tricks of the trade while getting your personal questions answered.

Over thirty experts will be available throughout the month to answer your questions. Their decades of experience will be at your fingertips. They not only want to help you, but they also want to get to know you better. After all, your words might just be the ones they’re looking for!

Learn more here:

July 17, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

As a writer, I know all about creativity. I know how essential it is to be creative. I know how fun it can be. I also know what it’s like to be at a loss for creativity. Even as a mom, creativity is important. Combine the needed creativity for being both a mom and a writer . . . well, it’s tough to come by.

When there are people and paperwork and piles to manage…
When I look around my house and see the walls that need to be painted and the cupboards that should be organized…
When my inbox is cluttered with notes I need to answer about work stuff and volunteer stuff…
When output is more than input…
…my creativity well often runs dry.

What can you do when you need an extra “spark” of inspiration?

Here are a few things I do.

Call a funny friend.

Sit outside. Breathe in fresh air.

Listen to birds sing. Watch busy ants.

Open a book of poetry or rent an audio book of poetry from the library. Absorb the symbolism and fresh word combinations.

Open a cookbook to a random page, then go shopping for the needed ingredients. (And then cook it!)

Go to YouTube.com and watch old dance numbers like this one.

Visit Etsy and take their taste test. This is one of my favorites. I love the fresh colors, textures, and ideas.

Play with Visuwords. Follow word trails and see where they lead you.

Have a visual feast on iStock Photo. (It’s also a great place for gathering inspiration for novel settings and characters or blog ideas.)

Pray and thank God for His creativity. Thank Him for your favorite places, people, tastes, and the beauty of nature.

Read your favorite Bible verses in a translation or paragraph you normally don’t read. Here is my favorite Bible verse in The Message (Zephaniah 3:17): “Don’t be afraid. Dear Zion, don’t despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.”

Write a greeting card verse and e-mail it to a special person. Or better yet, browse creative sites (like MarthaStewart.com) for card ideas and make your own.

Sometimes what we need is simply a break in our day from the mundane tasks of life.

These tips are perfect for breaking up a routine. Who knows? You might end up inspired to finish writing that blog or to tackle that inbox.

Prayer

God, thank you for being the source of all creativity. Allow today to be inspired with fresh ideas and new creativity.

Looking for More Ways to Get Creative?

Check out my book Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom!

More Resources

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger

Creativity by Matthew Fox

Creative Block: Get Unstuck, Discover New Ideas. Advice & Projects from 50 Successful Artists by Danielle Krysa

Creativity Workout: 62 Exercises to Unlock Your Most Creative Ideas by Edward De Bono

June 19, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

In My Dreams: The Struggle with Comparing Ourselves to Others

As believers, we all know we are special creations, unique and precious to God. Yet why do we struggle with comparing our lives, our bodies, our kids, and our talents (or lack of talents) with others? In reality, we need to look past who we “dream” to be and consider God’s dreams instead.

In God’s word, we read: “God-of-the-Angel-Armies speaks: ‘Exactly as I planned, it will happen. Following my blueprints, it will take shape,” says Isaiah 14:24 (The Message).

The word “planned” here is translated as “compare.” [i] It’s as if God has weighed the different possibilities, looked at them from all angles, and then chose the best way. He makes the blueprints . . . then He constructs them into our reality.

This is the life the Lord has constructed for us. Not the life, body, health, or circumstances we wished we’d had. Or the perfect life we can never attain. But the blueprints and the form He is forming into reality.

“Remember your history, your long and rich history. I am God, the only God you’ve had or ever will have—from the beginning telling you what the ending will be, all along letting you in on what is going to happen, amazing you,” we read in Isaiah 46:10-11. “I’m in this for the long haul, I’ll do exactly what I set out to do.” (The Message)

It’s okay to have longings.

But even before we worry about what we desire for our lives, the first step is to not let our dreams motivate us, but instead let His.

God has longings for us even greater than we imagine, and He’s willing to tell us these things as we seek Him out.

All of us have a problem with comparing. How do we deal with it? (Revised from Tricia’s book Generation NeXt Parenting.)

1. Discover your passion . . . and be okay with it.

“Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well,” says Galatians 6:4, “and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct” (NLT).

As long as I can stand before my Maker and see pleasure in His eyes, why do I wonder about what others think . . . or worry I don’t measure up? When I seek God, do what He asks, find joy where my passion lies, and feel His pleasure, then comparisons won’t matter.

2. Cultivate a Quiet, Happy Heart.

“God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans,” says Psalm 131:1-2. “I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.” (The Message)

God’s arms are open to us, and He wants nothing more than for us to be content there. We don’t need to be king of the mountain, queen of the slim and beautiful, prince of the popular, or princess of grandiose plans. Through prayer and focus on God, our quiet hearts will remind us He is enough.

3. Conform to Christ.

“Conforming to the image of God is a long and steady process of internal change as we abide in Christ. People simply do not change overnight, nor can they be forced to do so,” write Neil Anderson and Robert Saucy, authors of The Common Made Holy. “Abiding in Christ is being yoked to the gentle Jesus (Matthew 11:29).” [ii][ii]

If we are connected with Jesus, have a quiet heart, and focused on our passions … what is there to compare? God has us just where He wants us … in His hands.

What can be better than that?

Additional Resources

Want to learn more about soul care and having a Happy Heart? Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love through Chaotic Circumstances will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Peace and joy can be yours—no matter what life dishes up.

Have you ever wondered what can be gained by cheering each other on? On this episode of The Tricia Goyer Show, I chat about my book with Todd and Brooke Tilghman (Every Little Win), and how we can all use our gifts and talents to support each other. From homeschooling parent to homeschooling parent, I reached out to the Tilghmans and helped them by writing their book. But all throughout my life, I’ve benefited greatly by not comparing myself to others (I have a GREAT story about when I did, though). We can each use our gifts and talents to support each other! You’ll want to be sure to listen to the end of the episode because there is a fun surprise waiting! I know you are going to enjoy this episode.

May 8, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 8 Comments

How to Trust God

She didn’t expect life to turn out like this. For the last few years she’d grown in her trust in and relationship with God. She’d been a strong support for her family. She’d thought she’d done everything right . . . but had God even noticed? Standing at her brother’s funeral she didn’t think so. Surely God could have stopped this tragedy. Didn’t Jesus care?

The “she” I’m talking about is Martha in the Bible. She’d seen Jesus heal, yet when her family needed his touch, Jesus was a no-show. Most of us know the biblical story about how Jesus finally showed up a few days later and called Lazarus from the grave. It was a healing they hadn’t expected, and I can guess that Martha went to sleep that night with a new sense of trust. Maybe Jesus knew what He was doing. Maybe she could truly trust Him after all.

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this, Martha?” John 1:25-26

Jesus has asked me the same things many times—not with an audible voice, but in my spirit.

Do you believe? Do you trust me?

Do you trust I gave your child a strong will for a reason?

Do you trust this cross-country move is best for your family?

Do you trust I can do the work through you when you can’t imagine doing it yourself?

Do you trust this personal struggle of yours will be for your benefit—to cause you to turn to me, to need me, to surrender to me?

Do you trust?

In our lives, trust comes when we can’t see how God is going to bring any good out of the mess we’re in . . . and He does. Trust comes when our heart is breaking and Jesus shows up.

“Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Song of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” John 11:27

Martha believed in her mind. But after she embraced her warm, fleshly, laughing brother, trust moved to her heart.

In my life there was a moment when I was seventeen and pregnant, when Jesus showed up in my depressed state and gave me a glimmer of hope. Deep inside I knew that He would be there for me.

Many, many times over the years He’s shown up again in dark moments. As I watch Him transform rejection, pain, hopelessness, and worry into avenues to extend His love and grace to me and to others, my trust grows.

Learning to trust reminds me of the broken, hurting children we’ve invited into our home over the years. John and I are a constant presence guiding them, loving them, embracing them, discipling them, and sharing our lives with them – but trust didn’t happen in one day, one week, or even six months.

Trust has grown when our children discover layers of love, grace, and help in everyday challenges. When they mess up, feel stuck, or find themselves overwhelmed, they’ve discovered we’re still there. And we’ll continue to show them how to do life in a loving, healthy way.

The only way to learn to trust God is to face each dark situation knowing that Jesus WILL show up. It may not be when we expect, or how we expect, but we can expect Him.

And when Jesus shows up, He’s going to behave in a way that’s different that we believe He will. He’s not going to give us what we think we need, but what we really need. Mostly, He’s going to give us Himself.

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times; I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party. I’ll give you a long life, give you a long drink of salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16 (The Message)

How have you learned to trust God in your life?

Additional Resources:

Want to learn more about soul care and having a Happy Heart? Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love through Chaotic Circumstances will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Peace and joy can be yours—no matter what life dishes up.

Building up Your Faith When Your World is Falling Apart — Tricia chats with author Michele Cushatt about making sure your faith is strong when times are hard.

May 1, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 12 Comments

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

As a homeschooling mom, I’ve had kids at home for 32 years. This means noisy days, busy days, and these kids-are-giving-me-a-headache days.

I’ve been homeschooling for 28 years and still have another seven years to go! Does that seem overwhelming? It would have been if I hadn’t discovered something amazing: JOY!

Over the last year, God has spoken to my heart and encouraged me to find joy in everyday living.

Joy, even though the laundry is piled high.

Joy, even though the kids are cranky.

Joy when work deadlines are pressed.

Joy when I have a headache when my feet hurt, and when I just want a nap. (Which happens often!)

But how do you find joy in your day?

Here are 6 ways … and a Scripture verse for each!

1. Thank God for each new morning.

A thankful heart goes a long way. Daily when I wake God, instead of looking at everything I have to do, I thank him for who I am and what I have.

Thank you, God, that I’m your daughter, and I have a place in your eternal home.

Thank you, God, that I’m a wife and mother.

Thank you, God, for the pile of laundry and all the clothes you’ve provided for us.

Thank you, God, for the dishes still in the sink from last night. We went to bed with full bellies.

2. Turn on worship music.

I love listening to worship music as I read my Bible and journal in the morning. I put on popular Christian songs as we homeschool. I also listen to Christian music as I write. I love using apps like Spotify or Amazon Prime Music to help me find great music. I also sing along! Singing songs of joy helps sorrows (and frustrations) to disappear!

3. Ask God to remind me what His kingdom is all about.

In life, I want to be comfortable. I want my house to be Pinterest-worthy. I want my kids to shine. But when I think about God’s kingdom, He helps me understand Kingdom Work. Opening my door to neighbors. Sharing God’s truth with young moms. Calling a friend who’s going through a hard time. Playing a board game with my kids instead of putting away the laundry. The Kingdom is about people and hearts–not tasks!

4. Seek the Holy Spirit.

When did I ever start thinking that I have to handle life alone? God has given us His Holy Spirit to fill, work through, and give us peace. Stopping to pray and ask for God’s Holy Spirit to help me makes a huge difference. The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none.

The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none. @TriciaGoyer

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5. Join the kids in praising God.

The best thing about having three little kids is that they LOVE to praise God. We have “Jesus dance parties” often. We put on kids praise song, clap our hands and dance and sing. They love it, and seeing their joy makes me more joyful.

6. Thank God for troubles.

The honest truth is that without troubles, I wouldn’t need God. If everything went smoothly in life I wouldn’t pray or praise as often. When I thank God for troubles, I remind myself that He has everything in control. As the Scriptures say, troubles are an opportunity for joy!

I hope you print and use these Scriptures in your day. I’ve found them very helpful.

Download here.

How about you? What do you do to find joy in your day? What’s your favorite Scripture about joy?

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, today I pray for my friend. I pray that she may find joy in you. I pray that Your Word will draw her heart to you. I thank you for your Holy Spirit that can plant joy deep in our hearts, even when there are struggles all around.

More Resources

14 Ways to Create a Joyful Family
How to Joyfully Share a Life
3 Ways to Lose Guilt and Find Joy
Heart Happy by Tricia Goyer
When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy by John Piper
A Faith That Will Not Fail by Dan Lord

July 20, 2020 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Overcoming Dark Days as a Mom

Depression is not something that people like to talk about. Especially as a mom, there is a stigma attached to these things. Today I want to share my story about Overcoming Dark Days as a Mom.

Overcoming Dark Days

For the most part, I’m a happy person, but there was a time in my life where I wondered if I’d ever be happy again. My darkest time was when I was 17 years old and pregnant. Because of shame, I’d dropped out of regular high school. I’d had a rocky relationship with my boyfriend (to say the least), and he was dating a new girl within weeks of my pregnancy announcement. My friends at high school were going on with their senior year.

Even during the moments when I dared to be excited about my baby, sadness crept in. As my pregnancy progressed I was reminded—month by month—of the abortion I’d chosen to have just one-and-a-half years earlier.

The pain of my past decision added to the pain of my circumstances.

As my pregnancy progressed, I spent most days in bed, sleeping to noon. I didn’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone. During my free time, I worked on finishing the last of my high school credits, but part of me wondered what was the use. Wasn’t my life totally ruined? My dark emotions told me it was. I didn’t see any way towards overcoming dark days.

When I was down, I tried to remember the moments when I was happy. Amazingly, my happiest moments were spent as a child at church or with Christian friends. Maybe those memories were God’s way of wooing my heart. If so, they worked.

At six months along I turned back to Him, asking Him to take over my life, hoping He’d turn it into something good.

There are a lot of people who face very dark doubts of depression. My good friend Kristen Anderson is one of those people. I wrote Kristen’s story of trying to take her life by lying down in front of a train in the book Life, In Spite of Me. Thankfully Kristen’s story has a happy ending! She is a story of hope in overcoming dark days, for sure!!

I can’t say I’ve ever been to a place where the pain seemed too much to bear and suicide seemed like the only way out, but I do know what it’s like to feel as if life isn’t going to get better and hope is more elusive than a red- and white-striped hat in a Where’s Waldo book. It wasn’t a chemical depression for me. It was heart-full-of-sin-depression. I didn’t need medication or medical treatment (although I do think it’s necessary for some people). What I needed was to admit my mistakes and ask God to remove my sin.

People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord. PROVERBS 19:3

There was a time I ignored God and didn’t want to turn to Him because I didn’t like how my life was turning out. It took truthfulness—looking at my own heart—to realize I was the cause of my problems. I’d brought the pain on myself by choosing to become sexually active outside of marriage, by choosing to drink, by choosing abortion, by choosing to follow my desires instead of God’s Word.

I’m no medical professional, and I won’t try to give you advice about the type of depression I was facing. I will say that my dark, looming sadness and despondency were due to my own sin, and I had to start by looking at my own heart.

Do you find yourself hurting because of your own bad decisions? Ask yourself, “How much of my pain was brought on by my choices?” Then ask, “What would happen if I turned everything over to God?”

If you seek to find hope after making the wrong choices, God is waiting for the opportunity to take your pain. Not only will He replace that darkness with His light. He’ll also give you something greater than you can imagine: Himself.

My life has drastically changed since the moment I turned my life over to God. I won’t say I never have dark moments, but whenever I do I know where to turn. I know Who to turn to, and God never disappoints.

May the Lord meet you and begin overcoming dark days for you, especially as a mom! If you are in the midst of them- have hope and wait on Him!

~Tricia

P.S As I said earlier, my depression and dark days were not due to medical issues or chemical imbalances. Please seek help if your dark days are due to a medical need.

October 26, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

6 Ways to Build a Positive Family

6 Ways to Build a Positive Family.

Do your kids struggle with negativity? Are you constantly having to break up fights?Do you cringe at the words coming out of your child’s mouth? Do you wish everyone could just be happy and positive?

A positive attitude at home will leak into the rest of your child’s life. The “family” is where the foundation of a positive living is built. It’s our job not just to teach being positive, but to model it. Here are 6 ways to do that. (And they spell out the word F.A.M.I.L.Y! Stay tuned to the end of this post for a free printable.)

The “family” is where the foundation of a positive living is built. @TriciaGoyer

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Faith

Our faith in God is the foundation for our attitudes. We not only represent ourselves and our families, but we also represent God. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Because of Jesus, we can trust He’ll be with us and guide us. He’s not only caring for us on this earth, but He’s also preparing a place for us for eternity.

Remind your child that faith in God gives us confidence for today and hope for tomorrow.
Ask, “If we have faith in God, what can we look forward to?” (Lots of amazing, positive things!)
Guide your child to turning any negative interactions into positive ones by pointing your child back to God. “I know this is hard right now, but because of our faith can trust that God will turn things around for good.”

Attitude

Our attitude is a megaphone of what’s happening on the inside. Is your child feel unloved, unappreciated, or disconnected? If so, his or her attitude will show it. When you see a bad attitude starting, instead of beginning with correction, start with connection.

Remind your child he or she can tell you how he or she is feeling instead of acting out.
Ask, “If I could do one thing for you right now, what would that be?”
Guide your child to reach for you instead of lashing out. “If you need me to understand, talk to me. I want to be here for you.”

Mental Goodness

Mental goodness is one way of saying, “Think about good things.” Instead of replaying what you don’t like about your home, family, and school, try to find the positives.

Remind your child that bad thoughts will lead to bad actions and good thoughts will lead to good actions.
Ask, “What is one good thing you can think about right now?”
Guide your child to ask God to help him think about good things. Pray together about this.

Head over to thebettermom.com to read the rest of this post!

Are you ready to build a positive family that faces life’s struggles without grumbling or complaining?

Maybe you’re ready for The Grumble Free Year. Join our family of 11 as we navigate a year of learning to look for God in all things and to serve Him through grateful and thankful hearts.

Pre-order now and get these great FREE gifts! Order here: www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

October 21, 2019 by Christen Krumm 1 Comment

Why We Need Home More Than Ever | Nancie Carmichael

We need home more than ever these days. Which is why I’m so grateful that Nancie Carmichael wrote The Unexpected Power of Home for such a time as this. I’m so excited to welcome her to the blog today to share with you about Home.

Be sure to enter below for a chance to win one of three copies of Nancie Carmichael’s The Unexpected Power of Home!

The Unexpected Power of Home

When you’re in the thick of raising kids, Home is where you keep things going: Brush your teeth, do your homework, pick up your socks! Share. Do your chores. Be good.

But some days you wonder if you’ve landed on an alien planet. Years ago, my husband Bill was on an extended missions’ trip to Africa. One night when he’d been gone for about two weeks, I finally got all the kids to bed after an awful day. Finally. I sat on the kitchen floor and sobbed. My nine-year-old son had thrown an egg on a neighbor’s house, and I was feeling like a Big Failure. I had been dramatic: “Jon, that’s vandalism!” After he’d apologized to the neighbor and washed the egg off his house, he told me that the neighbor swore at him and the other boys whenever a ball would land in his yard. Which, unfortunately, was a lot. Jon is now a married father of three and you couldn’t find a nicer guy. And all four of our sons went to college on athletic scholarships. So, things worked out.

But…Oh, how I wanted to do everything right! I would pray, Jesus, show me how to do this. Show me how to make our home a good place for these beautiful and sometimes challenging children. There was power in Home. I instinctively knew it but saw no easy answers or formulas.

Letting Go

Recently, my husband and I sold our home that was crammed full of memories. It was time to downsize, time to let go. I wondered, What was home all about, anyway? I began to reflect on the enormous power of it; how our earliest homes shape us for good or bad; how we, in turn, offer that life-shaping power to our own children. Out of that reflection I wrote, The Unexpected Power of Home.

Younger moms: Do you realize the powerful weapon you have at your disposal? The power of your home is what you do with it—just as the power of your life is what you do with it. Jesus used humble and ordinary things to teach important principles: Consider the birds of the air. Look at the lilies of the field. And so too, consider your home.

Home is many things. It’s our personal space where we have ordinary meals. We offer hospitality. We sleep there, play there. We Americans spend billions on our homes. But it’s possible to miss its power by focusing on its appearance and practical function. While this part of home is fun and important, the real power of home is people. It’s you, it’s me.

Take an objective look at your home, how it functions. Ask yourself:

• Is my home a place of refuge, a place of hospitality for my family and others? Does it feel “safe,” emotionally and physically?
• Is it a place of creativity? Does each person here have space to create?
• Does its atmosphere offer respect and comfort and a place of deepest acceptance and training to my children? What practical things can I do to make it so?
• Is there sacred space in my home? First, for me—and then for others?

The World Needs Your Home More Than Ever

There is a rhythm, a powerful nurturing in the common, ordinary meals…in sleep and chores and prayers. Nothing in life will ever challenge you like parenting in the intimate setting of home, where life gets real. The wilder and crazier life gets, the more we need the grounding of home. It’s where the gospel gets practical and personal.

If I had the chance, I would tell my younger self—that tearful mom that sat on her kitchen floor: Stay with it. I know you want to change the world. I know you often feel that what you are doing is insignificant. But the world needs you. The world needs your home more than ever. Jesus in you—and Jesus in your home can change the world.

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Nancie Carmichael author of The Unexpected Power of Home

Nancie Carmichael has been involved in writing and publishing for many years, including as co-publisher at Virtue Magazine, Christian Parenting Today Magazine, and now Deep River Books. Nancie’s many books include, among others, Lord, Bless My Child, written with her husband, Bill; Selah; and Surviving One Bad Year.

Nancie graduated with her MA in Spiritual Formation from George Fox Evangelical Seminary. Nancie and Bill make their home in Sisters, Oregon, and have five married children and 14 grandchildren.

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More about The Unexpected Power of Home

Home is where the Gospel gets personal.

Nancie Carmichael’s passion is that The Unexpected Power of Home: Why We Need It More Than Ever will inspire the reader to see with fresh eyes the potentially powerful and life-shaping place that home is. Through home, we have the power to create an atmosphere of safety, of beauty, of hospitality, and of celebration.

While a practical book, it’s also a spiritual book. Home starts with us. Through making room for the sacred in our home, we learn to make room for the sacred in our lives. This book on home addresses these questions:

Have I really left home?
Am I content where I am now?
How can I be a person of hospitality and yet have solitude?
Why do I have so much clutter?
What does my clutter say about me?
Does my home inspire a sense of celebration in each season?
Is there joy in each season of my life?

As a mother of five children, Carmichael experienced with her family what it meant to have a place to grow and learn the most important things in life. Home is a place all of us eventually leave―and then look to find again. Home is a living, spiritual place that is reflective of who we are.

Includes questions at the end of each chapter to facilitate small group discussion and personal growth.

Purchase a copy of The Unexpected Power of Home
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | CBD

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October 15, 2019 by Pamela Black Leave a Comment

Don’t Despise The Wait

In my life, I don’t have any real enemies, but if there is one intangible thing that I always seem to be fighting against, it’s TIME. It robs me when I need him most. It turns little cares into big concerns when it hurries on and I still have no answer. Every tick-tick it takes me one step closer to “never getting all this done.”

I remember a time in my life when TIME was particularly frustrating. TIME ticked away on a house that we really needed to sell. TIME meant money, as we paid a house payment for an empty house. It meant being unsettled because over half of our stuff was in storage as we rented in our new location.

Don’t Despise The Wait

Of course, even though I’d like to place a dark cape and a mask on TIME, that’s not where the problem is. TIME … and the ticking down of it … isn’t something I need to fight against. Instead, as God’s been revealing to me lately, TIME is a tool in His hand that is used to reveal what is really in my heart. Mostly, misplaced security.

Time is a tool in His hand that is used to reveal what is really in my heart @TriciaGoyer

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I remember being frustrated because our house hadn’t sold in the TIME I wanted it to, and God showed me my lack of trust in Him … and my dependance on things of this world. He showed me that I look to homeownership as success and security. He pointed out my false heart-belief that when we bought a new home in our new location, only then we’d “arrived.”

God opened my eyes to this by leading me to Psalm 30:15. “My times are in your hands,” David said. God is in control of TIME. Of all the events that seem to take way too long. I needed to hear that.

Some lessons can only be learned over time … and discovering the truth that is in my heart is one of them. If our house had sold right away, and we’d moved into a nice place in our new city, I never would have realized how much trust I’m placing in things more than God.

God has also reminded me lately that He lives outside of TIME. What seems to take forever in my eyes is just a blink of an eye to Him. TIME may feel like it’s throwing me punches, but instead, it’s a tool that God’s using to mold and shape me.

So even though the clock is still ticking, I’m realizing more and more that God can be trusted all TIMES. He’s my security. And TIME isn’t an enemy when its in God’s hands. TIME is a tool.

Lord, mold me through the tick, tick, tock.

Time is not the enemy. God uses it to mold and shape us! @TriciaGoyer

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Don’t Despise The Wait

Steps You Can Take

When you catch yourself getting impatient, ask yourself “Why?”
Pinpoint what is at the root of your frustration with time. Is it money, the unknown, insecurity, lack of faith?
Surrender your requests to God, knowing he is in control of time.
Wait patiently for God’s time, remembering to look for what God is teaching you.

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I like to be in control and know what is going to happen next. Help me release that control to you and trust your perfect timing. May I catch myself in those moments when I start whining and complaining when it comes to waiting. Instead, help me take a deeper look at what you are teaching me. Continue to mold me and shape me into the person you made me to be … no matter how long that takes!

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Don’t Despise (Or Grumble during) The Wait

One thing I found when we decided to go grumble free for a whole year ( I know!) was that I hate waiting. It makes me grumbly and discontent when I have to wait for my kids to obey or my husband to attend to my needs.

But what I’m really saying in my heart to God when I grumble is, “Lord I don’t trust you to provide for my needs in your timing.”

OUCH!

As hard as that is to say, it’s the truth. An ungrateful spirit is really just revealing the condition of our hearts and it’s a lightbulb moment that can alert us to some real discrepancies between what say we believe and what we are doing. Facing this reality can be hard. But only when we see ourselves as we truly are will we be motivated to change. And changing for the better is what we want, after all.

The Word says, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9)

Lets not just be hearers of the word, let’s be doers. And we can learn to do it with a grateful and thankful heart! That’s exactly what we learned during our Grumble Free Year. A year that wasn’t always easy…but it stretched us and grew us as a family and healed us in a million ways.

Are you ready to go Grumble Free? Join us on the journey we took through our Grumble Free Year here:

www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

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