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How to Homeschool in 13 Easy Steps

How to Homeschool in 13 Easy Steps

As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, here are some tips for planning and scheduling your homeschooling!

Homeschooling your children can be a wonderful experience. Not only do you get to spend more time with them, but you can tailor your education to your children’s needs and interests. As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, here are some tips for planning and scheduling your homeschooling!

  1. Know and Follow Your State Requirements: Each state has different regulations for homeschooling, so make sure you know what your state requires. This will help you ensure that your children receive a proper education and that you follow the law.
  2. Schedule Heart Training Beyond Book Training: Homeschooling isn’t just about teaching your children academics. It’s also about training their hearts—scheduling time for character development, life skills, and other essential education areas beyond book learning.
  3. Big Picture Idea: Take some time to think about your overall goals for your children’s education. What do you want them to learn? What skills do you want them to develop? This will help you plan your curriculum and schedule your homeschool days.
  4. Plan Your Week: Once you have a big-picture idea, start planning your weekly schedule. Determine which subjects you’ll teach each day and for how long. Consider your children’s ages and abilities and any extracurricular activities or appointments.
  5. Teach Kids of Various Ages at the Same Time: Teaching kids of different ages simultaneously can be challenging, but it’s doable. One strategy is to teach your older children more challenging material while tailoring the same subjects into more manageable tasks for younger kids. Another method is to have your older children help “teach” your younger children.
  6. Discover That a Routine Is Your Friend: Kids thrive on routine. Establishing a pattern for your homeschool days can help your children feel more secure and make your days run more smoothly.
  7. Whiteboards, Calendars, and Planners: Use whiteboards, calendars, and planners to help you stay organized. Write down your schedule, your to-do list, and any critical dates.
  8. Morning Time and Read-Alouds: Many homeschooling families enjoy a “morning time” together to read and study. (Personally, this is one of my favorite parts of homeschooling!) This can be a great way to start your day and build family connections.
  9. When Life Goes Off Schedule: Life happens, and sometimes your homeschool days will go differently than planned. It’s essential to be flexible and to have a backup plan. Ensure you have some activities or lessons ready if you need to switch gears.
  10. Vacationing While Others Are in School: One of the benefits of homeschooling is that you can take vacations whenever you want. Consider taking trips during the off-season when prices are lower and crowds are smaller.
  11. Chores and Home Economics: Teaching your children life skills is essential to their education—schedule time for chores and home economics, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
  12. Birthdays, Holidays, and Other Celebrations: Remember to schedule time for birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations. These are essential times to connect with your family and to make memories.
  13. Put Away Your Phone: When spending time with your children, put away your phone. Give them your undivided attention and show them they’re more important than your screen.

Remember to be flexible, adaptable, and open-minded, as homeschooling can be a challenging but ultimately rewarding journey. With a little bit of planning and organization, you can provide your children with an education that prepares them for a successful future and helps them grow into well-rounded individuals.

Homeschool Success Course

Are you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about your homeschooling journey? Do you wish you had a roadmap to help you navigate the challenges and achieve success? Look no further than Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course!

Tricia Goyer is a homeschooling expert with over 20 years of experience, and she has poured all of her knowledge and wisdom into this comprehensive course. In each video, Tricia shares practical tips and strategies for homeschooling, from choosing a curriculum to managing your time effectively.

With Homeschool Success, you’ll discover how to:

  • Create a customized curriculum that meets your family’s unique needs
  • Develop a daily routine that maximizes your time and energy
  • Cultivate a love of learning in your children and inspire them to reach their full potential
  • Foster a positive homeschooling environment that nurtures relationships and builds character
  • Navigate the challenges of homeschooling with confidence and grace

Tricia’s warm and engaging teaching style will leave you feeling empowered and equipped to tackle any homeschooling challenge that comes your way. You’ll also receive a workbook with actionable steps and reflection questions to help you apply your learning to your homeschooling journey.

Take advantage of this opportunity to learn from one of the most respected homeschooling experts in the industry. Enroll in Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course today and start your journey to homeschooling success!

Homeschool Success Course only $9
Purchase the course here.

  1. Homeschool Success Course only $9

    Purchase the course here.

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How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

 

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption
How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

I’d like to think I’m an expert pray-er. I can clearly see how my prayers changed things. For example, I’ve had seven kids—not birthed from me—running around my house who are examples of that. Yet, the way that my prayers changed the future is different than you think.

God is not a genie in a bottle.

My prayers weren’t effective because I figured out the right words to make God do what I wanted to do. I used to think that. As a young Christian, I’d try all sorts of things:

  • praying in the morning
  • praying at night
  • praying on my knees
  • praying out loud
  • journaling my prayers

I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I believed deep down if I said the right things, at the right time, in the right way, that God could be swayed.

What I’ve since discovered is God has good plans for my life. He has hopes for me and a future.

The number-one thing that changes when I pray . . . is me.

Prayer opens up the connection between me and God. Prayer softens my heart to His will.

My prayers change the future because as I connect with Him, I’m willing to submit my will to His. As I submit and walk in His ways . . . my future is different than the path I would have taken myself on in my own according. And the future is changed.

Prayer changes the future because:

  1. I connect with God.
  2. I submit my will to His.
  3. I walk in His ways—not the ones I try to figure out.

I have dozens of examples of this, but I’ll quickly share one: adoption. Around 2000, I started praying for God to give me His heart. Soon I became interested in adopting. God tells us so many times to care for the widows and orphans.

My husband wasn’t on board, so I continued to pray (not nag). In 2007, John brought up the idea to me (yes!), and we filled out paperwork to adopt from China.

By the time we submitted our paperwork in 2008, the adoption Chinese program changed drastically, and the opportunity to adopt a healthy baby girl was no longer an option. By 2009, when I discovered I’d not have a Chinese baby anytime soon (or ever), I was crushed. I cried (I’ll admit it), but I also prayed for God’s will.

“Lord, give us the child YOU desire. I know you placed adoption on my heart for a reason.”

I’m telling the complete truth when I say that the very day I relinquished my will, I received a phone call about a birth mom looking for a home for her baby. March 2010, Alyssa joined our family—a nine-pound bundle of joy.

Even after bringing Alyssa home, I continued to pray for God’s will. (Lord, are there more children that you have for us?)

In 2012 Bella and Casey joined our home from the foster care system. Later on, God placed Lauren, Jordan, Maria, and Florentina into our lives. I love my children! I couldn’t imagine life without them. More than that, I know God placed adoption on my heart for a reason; it just didn’t look the way I thought.

Prayer changed the future because:

  1. I connected with God, and I discovered His heart.
  2. I submitted my will to His, and I relinquished myself to His path.
  3. I walked in His ways, . . . and He led me where I never expected.

Today, consider changing your future forever.

God has good plans for your life. He knows you’ll only be willing to step out into the future when your heart is changed through prayer.

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

As you submit yourself to His heart and His will, expect to walk down paths different than you ever expected. You’ll learn how prayer changes the future for adoption. Also, expect to have a partner in the journey. God—yes, the God of the universe!—will be stepping out in front of you along the way and leading you in His plans.

As we continued to pray God continued to lead. Today, we have ten beautiful children. We are so blessed. And it all began when we let God changed our future through prayer.

The Adoption Summit is a great opportunity for you to take the next step and learn more about adoption. And right now you can get a FREE ticket here: www.adoptionsummit.com

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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3 Ways You’re a Leader- And How to Be a Better One

3 Ways You're a Leader - And How to Be a Better One
3 Ways You’re a Leader – And How to Be a Better One

Many people are confused about the term “family leader.” As I’ve blogged about moms being leaders, I’ve had both men and women pipe up, “But wait, the man’s supposed to be the leader in the home, right?” Yes, but women are leaders, too, in many ways you may not realize.

1. In your role as spouse –
Yes, friends, I believe in the “S” word: submission. I believe God has called men to be the spiritual head of the home and the ones to care for and provide for his wife and family and lead the family unit. I believe wives come under their headship in willing submission . . . yet women are leaders, too.

Any time you strive to guide the thoughts, behavior, or direction of another person, you are leading! Or, as John Quincy Adams said, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.”

Go ahead, read that again. Mom, you are a leader! Wife, you are a leader! Your thoughts and attitudes guide your closest relationships. Family leadership can be as intimate as offering words of guidance and encouragement to a discouraged loved one, or it can be as directive as issuing specific instructions on how to drive the family car.

2. In your community –
A man or a woman’s role in leadership also extends beyond the four walls of the home. Just think of your roles at your work, at your child’s school, and in your neighborhood. Influence can also be exhibited in your roles as church volunteers and community leaders. These are important roles in our everyday lives, especially since many couples today are often not well-connected with siblings and parents. Many families are spread out, living far from extended family members. This causes many couples to create their own “family units” with like-minded friends. These are the people they vacation with and spend free time with. Seeking God in these roles is important; it’s then that couples realize they can be a positive influence in their church and community outside of their own home.

3. In your extended family –
Sometimes this is the hardest place to be a leader. We can’t choose our relatives, and sometimes the relationships with parents, siblings, aunts, uncle, and cousins can be the hardest. Often people are put into “roles” within their family. Yet in your actions and reactions, you are showing leadership—whether you like it or not.

In each of these areas, you make an impact! As a leader you . . . 

  • Build enduring relationships within the home that can have far-reaching impact beyond the home
  • Set the basic direction of life values, character development, and relational behavior
  • Involve seasons of personal sacrifice to promote the spiritual and physical well-being of others
  • Sustain love, loyalty, trust, mercy, forbearance, forgiveness, and sacrifice
  • Mature and grow
  • Foster values of love, compassion, trust, commitment, honesty, and grace within its members.

Think your role in leadership doesn’t matter? Think again. The number-one way you can be better in each of these areas is to pray.

Today take a few minutes to pray for your role as a leader.

  • Pray for your leadership in your family.
  • Pray for your leadership in your church.
  • Pray for your leadership in your neighborhood.
  • Pray for your leadership at work and school.
  • Pray that God will show you how to lead.
  • 
Pray you will submit to His leadership in your life.

The impact we can have in the lives of people around us can’t be underestimated . . . and only prayer prepares us for the work ahead!

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4 Things to Cut from Your Schedule {Before School Starts}

Does your schedule seem too full? Are you wondering how you’re going to survive the upcoming school year? That’s me. This year, I have three school-aged kids still at home, but I’ve had as many as eight at one time and I’m trying to figure out what we can add. I’m also re-evaluating what needs to be cut. God has given each of us 24 hours, and if things are too crazy-busy, it’s a sign something needs to change. And we’re the only ones who can do it.

So before the school year starts, here are four things you need to cut from your schedule.

(Also, use these four tips to gauge any activity before you clear a space for it on your calendar!)

1. Cut out anything you said YES to because of guilt…

or because you didn’t want to say no. You know what I’m talking about. You signed up to help at the church . . . because all the other ladies were. You signed up to help with that walk-a-thon because no one else did. Guilt should not be your motivator. God’s directives are usually a still and quiet leading in your heart.

2. Cut out anything that doesn’t work for the season you’re in.

Are there activities or events you used to look forward to but that now seem to be just time-wasters? People grow and change. Kids grow and change. Go through your schedule and interview each activity. Ask, “Why do you need to stay there for THIS season of my life?”

3. Cut out anything your kids aren’t enjoying.

Yes, we often believe all children NEED to play t-ball or take dance lessons, but if they aren’t enjoying it, then why do it? Follow their lead and explore their natural gifts and talents instead.

4. Cut out anything God asks you to.

Sometimes the things we’re asked to cut don’t make sense, yet God knows the future. One year I felt God tell me to cut out a lot of my writing and blogging commitments. It turns out that next year we brought four new girls into our home. Seek God. Ask Him to evaluate your schedule. Listen to His still, small voice, and obey.

What about you? How do you decide what to cut or add to your schedule?

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

Need more ideas and advice on homeschooling? Pick up a copy of Homeschool Basics. Receive tried-and-true homeschool advice from veteran homeschooling moms Tricia Goyer and Kristi Clover. We dish out practical help on getting started and staying the course. Homeschool Basics will remind you that the best homeschooling starts with the heart. Packed with ideas to help you push aside your fears and raise kids who will grow to be life-long learners.

homeschooling basics

 

Kristi and I believe that homeschooling can transform your life, your home, and your family. Mostly, we believe homeschooling can truly prepare your children for the life God’s called them to live.

Don’t let doubts hold you back any longer.

Get Homeschool Basics on Amazon Now!

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The Best Leaders Allow Themselves To Be Led

The Best Leaders Allow Themselves To Be Lead
The Best Leaders Allow Themselves To Be Lead

I have ten kids ages from middle-schoolers to adults. Four are still at home, and they look to me daily. They are watching me, listening. I often hear my words coming out of their mouths. They follow in my footsteps, and I know my good habits and bad habits may someday be theirs. How do I know? Many times I hear my mom’s words coming out of my mouth. I find myself following in her footsteps in numerous ways. Remembering this reminds me how much I am a leader. The best leaders allow themselves to be lead.

The best leaders aren’t strict rulers, but rather part of a greater mission.

This wasn’t always the case for me. I was a single mom, and I prayed for a future husband . . . and a godly dad for my son. I met and married a wonderful Christian man, yet I had high expectations. I expected John to have the passion of King David, the practicality of Paul, and lead with the gentleness of Jesus. I expected him to see all of life as a chance to relate Biblical truths and moral lessons to our family. My poor husband!

John was a great provider, and he always spent time with me and the kids, yet when he didn’t step forward and lead our family spiritually as I thought he should. I tried to “help” him along. I grumbled, prodded, and offered—ahem—encouragement. Yet the more I pushed, the more John retreated. When I prayed about John’s “issue,” God turned my pointing finger back on me.

God told me I didn’t make a very good personal Holy Spirit for my husband.

I took the hint. I stepped back and kept my mouth shut, and something amazing happened—John stepped forward. One day he asked if we could read the Bible and pray together in the mornings. Of course I answered, “Yes!”

Being a parent is the most important life-role leadership job I’ll ever have—you’ll ever have. If you’re married and your spouse isn’t the spiritual leader you dream of, close your mouth and pray. Trust that God can guide your husband in a better way than you ever could! Also lead your children as well as you can with God as your guide.

Wanting to set a good example for your children is important, but the most important part is keeping your eyes on God and asking Him to lead your path, while also praying for your spouse. Jesus was a servant-leader, not a demanding guide. We’ll do well if we do the same. The best leaders find joy in being led, rather than trying to force their way.

 

If you liked this post, check out these others about family leadership:

Leadership In The Home

Letting Your Husband Lead

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

 

 

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Leadership in the Home

Leadership in the Home
Leadership in the Home

I never considered myself a leader.

I was just a mom of three kids under the age of five. I wasn’t more than a kid myself (twenty-two years old) when my third child was born. Part of a small church launch, a children’s church leader was needed. My best friend and I signed up. We had $0 for a budget so we had a simple plan. We taught the kids songs. We read them Bible stories. We helped them to memorize Scripture.

I remember the joy I felt one Sunday we led a dozen little kids to the front of the church to recite Psalm 100. “Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs,” squeaky, little voices said in unison.

I replayed that event in my mind over the coming days. I was helping to input God’s word into young minds and hearts. It was a good feeling. It was only later—as my children grew (and we added on three more kids)—that I realized that even greater than my influence in children’s church was my influence at home. In children’s church I had to prepare for two hours of teaching. At home, the leading and teaching never stopped. The older the kids got, the more training was required.

Did I really sign up for this? How will I ever succeed?

Born to a single mom, and raised in a home where she ruled the roost, the model I followed was one of Mom Knows Best. Yet often I didn’t know best. I didn’t act best. As the months and years passed I was ineffective, unproductive, and overwhelmed. I needed help!

The amazing thing was that help was there, waiting. I wasn’t a single parent—God had given me a wonderful husband and life partner, John. In fact, I’d soon discovered that “family” started with John and me. The kids, in fact, were welcome members who would pass through our home into lives of their own.

More than that, John and I had Jesus.

Jesus and parenting. Jesus and marriage . . . what a concept!

What do you think of when you see these two phrases? Do they make you uneasy? Do those two sentences scream 948 ways you’ve failed? They did that to me. Through my growing up years church was a “Sunday” thing. And if we look around, our culture has perfected the art of drawing lines and keeping our spiritual lives separate from our daily duties. Faith happens on a church pew or during a 10-minute morning devotional reading, right? Or does it?

He Said She Said Photo 1

 

John: Tricia was only seventeen years old when we met. I was twenty-two. Though our ages were less than five years apart, we came from completely different worlds. I grew up in a solid Christian family. My parents were firm, yet loving. I saw a clear role of leadership in my father (from police officer to pastor, throughout the years). After high school, I joined the Marine Corps and quickly moved through the ranks to become a corporal in less than two years. Before leaving the Marines, I was a leader of men—men who were disciplined (most of the time) and knew who they were . . . and then I got married.

When I “met” Tricia, her newborn son’s age was still measured in hours. He was born earlier that same day. Sure, I knew of her in church, but until that day, we had never really talked before, other than in passing (the usual church greetings: shake hands and a “hearty welcome”). What started as a conversation on the day of her son’s birth quickly grew into something much more.

In less than a year, we were married. Instant family, just add a ring . . . conflict would come a little later.

In the next few years, we quickly enjoyed the addition of two more children. Before I knew it, I was the leader of a family of five, yet I was barely twenty-seven years old. I knew how to lead men, but I did not know how to lead this family.

I tried to make the best decisions I could, but I always had a nagging fear I was not leading like my ultimate role model—Jesus. I always had a feeling that I would be leading and, one day look back, to find no one following. After all, a leader is often judged by the actions of his followers. What would this family, which God had entrusted to me, end up looking like? I looked to Jesus, trusting He’d guide me as I figured it out.

He Said She Said Photo 3

 

Tricia: Looking back John and I had a lot of challenges, but thankfully we had Jesus who was there every step of the way. In our twenty-three years of our marriage, we’ve led kids, led children’s church, led mission teams, and led organizations and ministries. We didn’t start out as great leaders, but God has grown us to become better at leading, as we do so with a servant’s heart.

Do you want to grow into an effective leader in your home, church, and community?

This will only happen as you surrender all of your life (yes, even your family life!) to Him. In fact, if we could sum up this “secret” it would be found here:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

There is one phrase that is especially important: “in all your ways acknowledge him.” Not “in all your ways except parenting and marriage and family life,” but “all your ways.”

If you dig into the Bible, Jesus is clear about how He wants us to lead: He asks us to make a difference in our world, in our families, church, and community by being an effective servant leader. It all starts by understanding the ways you are weak . . . and turning to Jesus to be strong.

You may not consider yourself a leader, but Jesus wants to be a strong leader in your world—through you.

 

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6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

What does it mean for a parent of a family to effectively lead young children?

The answer to that question has come to me through years of trial and error (mostly error). As a young mom, I didn’t give leadership much thought — I was just trying to get through the day. But as my kids grew beyond the toddler years, I realized something important: Kids do what they see. They believe in what is prioritized at home. That meant I was a leader. I had to lead young children whether I liked it or not.

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children
6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

My leadership grew right along with our three kids. Then, when those kids became teens and young adults, my husband, John, and I adopted seven children and started all over again. Seeing what worked — and what didn’t — the first time around made me more confident as a leader the second time. Also, seeing my older kids as adults confirmed what we did right.

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

Setting Family Priorities

The values and priorities you model in good times and bad are likely to become the values and priorities your kids adopt as adults. These are the things they will pass down to their kids, too. So we want to make sure they pick up the right things! Here are six ways I have found to effectively lead little ones:

1. Trust

Yes, it really does matter if you go out for ice cream after naptime if that’s what you promised. It’s easy to follow a leader we trust. Kids are quick to follow when they know you care about them, consistently meet their needs and keep your promises. The more instances where we do what we say, the more our children become willing to follow. Also, trust built in the early years forms a strong connection that will help kids to turn to you in the tumultuous teen years.

2. Belonging

What is your family all about? What makes you a special group of people? Let your kids know they are an important part of your family. Be sure to point out their best qualities, and let them see how you need them and they need you. Of course, words are not enough. Make your child a part of the team by giving them simple chores, such as setting the table, sorting the laundry, or pulling weeds in the yard. Point out how their small efforts benefit the family as a whole.

3. Focus

Where you place your focus will direct how your family spends their days. John and I worked together to determine what things were important for our children’s futures. Then we decided how to make those things important now. Because we want our children to have a relationship with God as teens and adults, we have a time of daily Bible reading and prayer with our kids now. We attend church and serve other Christians by volunteering in children’s church. We collect baby items for our local teen-mom support group to model helping those in need. These small but consistent acts demonstrate that we put God first as a family and build a strong foundation for our children’s future faith.

4. Flexibility

As children grow, priorities change. It’s important to set routines, but it’s also important to be flexible. Nobody enjoys being around a rigid leader. If something you did last year doesn’t work this year, be willing to try something new. Different strategies may work with different personalities of children, so be prepared to change things up.

5. Boundaries

Leadership isn’t just about where you go, but also what you protect. I’ve learned to say no to a lot of good things to protect the best things. For us, we value family dinners, evening togetherness, and reading together. To do these things, we’ve had to say no to a lot of outside activities. We believe that, at some point in the future, it will be more important for us to have a family bond than for each of our kids to be part of a different activity that fills up our evenings. There is plenty of time in our children’s future for them to pursue leisure activities, but these childhood years — with everyone together — are fleeting.

6. Perspective

Finally, as parents, it’s up to us to create a vision for the type of family we want to be. That’s why my husband and I explain to our kids that the things our family focuses on may look different from what other families are emphasizing. This also provides us with opportunities to talk to them about how the priorities of those who follow God should look different from those of people who don’t.

Maybe your focus is on debt-free living rather than extravagant vacations. Perhaps you choose to give to your church instead of buying brand-name clothes. Use these practices to talk to your children about the charge to believers found in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Ask your children to join you in making these decisions, teaching them what God’s Word says.

Start Strong!

Being a family leader means choosing where you want to lead; once you make good choices, you’ve already done half the work. There are so many decisions we have to make on a daily basis as parents, but when you make solid decisions based on God’s Word while your children are young, it will be easier to lead well in the seasons to come.

Tricia Goyer The Grumble Free Year, get a free chapter

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

And between homeschooling, writing, and leading a Teen MOPS group — I definitely get frustrated and cranky at times.

But you know what bothered me the most? Hearing my kids complaining. It drove me crazy until I realized I could teach them something better.

I could teach them gratitude. We could learn to be a family that’s grateful and thankful. Together we could become Grumble Free.

Would a year be enough to teach us all to focus on God’s goodness through every opportunity?

We found out in our Grumble Free Year and now you can read about how we faced whining and complaining head-on and became a stronger family because of it!

www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

Download your free GFY Scripture Color Sheets!

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God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins?  I used to feel the same way.  Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is not Punishing You for Your Past Sins
God is not Punishing You for Your Past Sins

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

Forgiven and Set Free

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

  1. In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
  2. Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love –  not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

 

 Further Resources:

Walk it Out With Tricia Goyer

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

 

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How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

 

How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

I hate to say it, but back-to-school expenses are coming. Summer has been flying by and, depending on where you are, the school year is quickly creeping up on us. Here in Georgia, school started the first week of August!

I know for me, last year was hard. Maybe that was because it was the first school year for our family of five–I wasn’t exactly sure how to budget for it. Or maybe it was because there really are so many various and unexpected school-related expenses that happen during the year.

That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you have at least $100 of wiggle room in your budget each month for the school year and especially back-to-school expenses. I know that sounds like a lot of money (and it definitely is.) However, chances are, when you look back over last year’s budget, you’ll notice that you come very close if not over the $100 a month for all those last-minute purchases.

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

Here are just a few ways that can hopefully help you figure out how to find an extra $100 (or more!) in your monthly budget for back-to-school expenses:

1. Cell Phones

Regardless if it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family on your phone plan, paying for cell service can be a little crazy. That’s why if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you switch over to a company like Republic Wireless (who I personally use) or Ting (several of my friends use them and love them).

You still get to have an awesome smartphone but without the high cell phone bill (mine is only $25/mo with data!).

2. Insurance

Yeah, I know, you don’t want to talk about this subject because it’s one of those “necessary evils.” However, if you haven’t called around lately to gather new quotes for your different insurance needs, I highly suggest you do. You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year just from a simple phone call.

3. Subscription Services

It’s happened to me before. I completely forget that I have a subscription service deducting money from my bank account. It’s like I put it on autopilot and fail to evaluate if it’s a necessary expense or not.

The next thing to do is check for any recurring subscriptions, maybe now is the time to evaluate if they are still necessary. Spend a little time going through and canceling the unnecessary ones. This should add a little more wiggle room to your budget for those back-to-school expenses.

4. Be Inconvenienced

I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, we are just paying way too much for convenience. It’s possible that if we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced, we could save $1,000’s of dollars a year!

One of my favorite ways to be inconvenienced is by not using paper towels. A few years ago, we switched from using paper towels regularly to using bar mop cloths. That one small change has resulted in saving us hundreds over the years! We only have to buy one roll of paper towels twice a year (for draining meats like bacon or ground beef.) Honestly, it has affected us very little.

So, look around your home and find little ways that you could save money by simply being “inconvenienced.” You could end up adding a whole lot more to your school budget than just a $100 a month!

What to Do with Your Savings

Those are just a few ways that you can cut your expenses before the start of the school year. But the key to not going broke this school year is to remember that once you add that wiggle room to your budget, as a result, you must make sure that you add a line item accounting for that.

For instance, let’s say you cut your cell phone bill from $100 to $30 a month (yes, that’s totally possible with Republic Wireless or Ting.) Now you have $70 of wiggle room in your budget that must be accounted for.

Now you’d want to add a line item like “School Miscellaneous” or something with $70 as the total.

Example:

  • Mortgage: $1,000
  • Utilities: $200
  • Car Payment: $400
  • Insurance: $150
  • Cell Phone: $30
  • Groceries: $500
  • School Miscellaneous: $70

Then whenever those random, “Hey we need each child to bring in a snack for our upcoming event on Thursday” happens, you’ll have the money ready to go in your budget. Just make sure that you account for that expense and deduct the total from your category for back-to-school expenses.

Hopefully, this helps you if you’re getting geared up for the back-to-school season. Even if this isn’t a stage of life you’re currently dealing with, send this onto a friend that is in this season to give them a boost!

What is a piece of advice that you could offer someone else for not going broke during the school year?

{More about Jessi Fearon}

10714251_730966356979424_3359439497490871642_oJessi Fearon is the founder of the popular personal finance blog, Real Life on a Budget, where she shares her family’s real-life on a budget in order to inspire others to learn how to manage their money better. Jessi’s work has been featured on Buzzfeed, Rockstar Finance, TIME/Motto Magazine, Money Saving Mom, and The Penny Hoarder. Jessi resides in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia with her husband Pat and their three children Conner, Collin, and Charlotte and a rescue dog named Belle.

 

 

Additional Resources

How to Avoid Going Broke This School Year
Saving Money with Groupon Coupons
7 Tips for Living on $7 a Day
Restoring the Art of the Piggy Bank Savings
30 Cheap & Fun Date Night Ideas

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Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

When it comes to teen pregnancy, often we ask these two questions: if a teen finds themself facing an unplanned pregnancy are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices? We ask because we care. And as parents, we want to protect our kids from difficult situations and the consequences of poor decisions. 

Are you a mom or dad who’s wondering if you can make a difference in your child’s choice not to have sex prematurely? The answer is YES! And If you don’t want your daughter or son to be one of the one million teens who become parents every year, consider this:

Be a role model.

Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the boundaries of marriage? The saying “Do what I say, not what I do” never works. We have to set the standard we want our kids to emulate. The standard is God’s Word, not the current culture.

Talk about what love is—and isn’t!

Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love (no matter what they show on television). True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens they are responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won’t make him yours. A baby won’t make him stay.”

Remind kids it CAN happen to them.

Having sex, even so-called “protected” sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. And, yes, it’s possible—everyone can make good choices. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kid’s on how to make those choices. Talk openly with your child about sex and sexuality and remind them they are in control of their body—no matter what anyone else says.

Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.

Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, one in three young women get pregnant at least once before they turn twenty—good girls included.

Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.

Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.

Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.

Talk about setting boundaries and not putting themself in situations that will cause them to compromise those decisions. Help them make good plans for their future and stick to their goals. If possible, role-play conversations until they feel confident saying what needs to be said to avoid sexual situations. The more practice a person has in saying something, the easier it will be to say it when the time comes. Even if it feels awkward or silly, help your child find their own words for protecting their boundaries.

Talk about the media’s wrong messages.

The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Babies are a life-long responsibility, not a fashion accessory.

Encourage secondary purity.

Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said “yes” before. Today your child can make the right choice and choose abstinence. Even if they’ve been sexually active in the past, remind them that they can choose differently next time. Help them find forgiveness in Christ and build them up in the way to find the strength to avoid temptation in the future.

Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!

As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our kids. Don’t wait.

Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.

It’s so important for parents to open up a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages the media gives out?

Some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had were talking to my kids about sex. But those are also some of the most important ones. Not only did it help us to discuss this important topic, but it lead to other important topics and drew us closer to each other. When we care enough to breach difficult subjects with our kids they begin to understand our hearts better. Don’t miss this opportunity to build a lifelong relationship with your child. Remember, they will grow up one day and this conversation might be a crucial part of their life choices.

Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Although an unplanned pregnancy is something we would rather spare our child from, if your teen (or a teen you know) find’s themself in this situation, know that they can choose to parent and be successful. Teens can be good parents and a baby is always a blessing. We can choose to help a teen become a good parent by supporting them every step of the way.

Additional Resources

For more resources on supporting teen moms, you might want to read these posts:

Teen Mom, You Are Not Alone

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

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How to Walk Out Your Healing

The way you walk out your healing can affect not just your own life, but also the lives of your children. Facing our past mistakes and finding forgiveness and healing in Christ is so important. Today, I share I found healing through walking out my faith and how that affected our family.

How To Walk Out Your Healing
How To Walk Out Your Healing

 

Walk Out Your Healing

When my daughter was 13, I called her “mini-me.” When she answered the phone, people often thought it was me. Leslie has the same tone as me, and her voice carries the same inflections. Even though she had her own collection of CDs, she would often rifle through mine because she liked that music, too. She learned to put on makeup by watching me, and when she would see me engrossed in a good book, she would naturally want to read it. Even now that she is a grown adult, I see so much of myself in my daughter. She has many of my same convictions… And also some of my hang-ups.

When our kids are toddlers, we think it’s so sweet when they pick up a block and place it to their ear like a cell phone. But the older they get, the more they’re mimicking matters, and if they aren’t dealt with, the rock-solid bad habits in your life will most likely be theirs, too.

 

Walk Out Your Healing

In those days when you were slaves of sin, you weren’t concerned with doing what was right. And what was the result? It was not good, since now you’re ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Romans 6:20-22 NLT

What I love about that scripture is the fact that Paul isn’t trying to play down the past. Instead, he reminds fellow believers that what matters is what we are now free from the power of sin and slaves of God.

The word free here means “to liberate,” and this word has special meaning to me personally. Several years ago I wrote my first novel, From Dust and Ashes. It’s about liberation from a Nazi concentration camp from the points of view of both an American G.I. who opens the camp gates and a prisoner inside. To write the book, I interviewed both veterans and survivors alike. I also attended a ceremony in Austria organized by the survivors to celebrate their liberation 60 years after the fact!

Author Tricia Goyer shares the captivating story behind her book From Dust and Ashes

Walking In Freedom

These men and women — prisoners of the Nazis – had been near death, oppressed, and hopeless. Yet their victors came to open the gates and offered them not only hope but a future too. Once they walked from those gates, they were prisoners no more. They were liberated. They might revisit those times of bondage in their mind, but they no longer had to live behind the barbed wire. They did, however, have to realize their freedom and live in it, no longer behaving as if they were still in bondage. Likewise, if we don’t know the joy of true freedom in our hearts, how do we expect to lead our kids in the same freedom?

Kids go where we take them, they have no choice. How sad it would be if our own inner struggles pulled our kids back to our own past issues… Merely because we ourselves have not yet fully realized our freedom in Christ.

Walk Out Your Healing

It’s taken me years to deal with some of the issues from my past. I’ve attended Bible studies for women who’ve had abortions. I helped start a crisis pregnancy center in our community. I’ve spoken at purity retreats for young women. And I’ve mentored teen moms. For me, healing from my past involves helping others who face the same struggles. My heart is renewed when I help others find hope.

The additional benefit is that my children now have a mother who has wholeness in Christ. They’ve heard about my mistakes, and they’ve seen me reaching out. They’ve also gained conviction in these areas, following what I say . . . and what I do.

Now, it’s your turn. How have you walked out healing in your life? What has God done to liberate you from your past? Share your testimony with me in the comments!

Walk It Out

Tricia Goyer Walk it OutYou’ve heard the phrase Trust God. It’s easy to say but can be hard to do. But what if you did it. What if you did the things that God asked you to do and solely relied on Him? Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still feel empty and unfilled. Bestselling author Tricia Goyer has been where you are. She gets it and knows that the only way to live a fulfilling life is to walk it out with God.

Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time is a resource that teaches women how walking out the mandates of Scripture will allow God to spark passion and mission within them. Goyer teaches women, of all ages, how to:

    1. Use your healed heart to love and serve
  2. Create space and craft purpose
  3. Give generously without question
  4. Be vulnerable
  5. Truly love your family
  6. Do the work that God has given you to do

 

This book is for women:

  • struggling with anxiety or depression
  • feeling like they lost their way and are living by comparison
  • who feel like they’re never enough and always too much
  • searching for ways to develop a closer relationship with God
  • raising families while facing crossroads

Sometimes the steps we take in our faith are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Get your copy of Walk It Out today!

 

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