secrets from the writer's chair

January 17, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

The Truth about Getting an Agent

Hmmm . . . after my blog on agents, many of you had questions.

Tracy asked, “This is helpful! As a newbie to all this, are there resources to help me identify which agents are taking new writers/if they prefer fiction or non-fiction, etc.?”

Great question, Tracy. The best resource is The Christian Writers Market Guide (which has a great pre-order price right now!).

This should have a list of agents and what they are accepting/looking for.

Of course, just because someone is looking for you doesn’t mean that is the right person for you. It’s a relationship that will need to be built on trust. (Focus on that word: “relationship.”)

There are three ways to find a good agent.

1. Ask around. Talk to authors. Ask lots of questions. Ask for recommendations. If you have a close relationship with a published author—who knows your work and wants to support you—that person might be willing to recommend you to their agent.

2. Read agent blogs. Their personalities will come through. If you connect with someone’s blog, you’ll probably connect with that person in real life. If you find someone you like, comment often. They do pay attention, and it’ll be a great way to build a relationship.

3. Meet agents at conferences. Two conferences I highly recommend are the American Christian Fiction Writers Conference and the Mt. Hermon Christian Writer’s Conference. Worth. Every. Penny.

Before you get TOO caught up, though, always ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do I know who I am and what I want to write? Agents look for career writers. If you only have one project, one book, and don’t know what to do next, you’re not ready. If you have a million ideas with no real focus, you’re not ready.

2. Am I building a readership? Do you blog? Are you active in social media? Do you speak? Things aren’t like the old days; you need more than just a good idea. You need a group of people who look to you and trust your words or advice. (This is for non-fiction; for fiction you need to have at least one great novel, already written.)

3. Am I at a place in my life that I can look to building my career? And does your spouse support you? Consider getting an agent as “going to work.” If you have an idea and your agent presents it to a publisher, you’ll have weeks or months—not years—to pull a proposal together. Is this the right season for you?

Finally, here are some agent blogs I recommend (which means I highly respect these agents, too!):

Books and Such Blog: http://www.booksandsuch.biz/blog/

Steve Laube Agency: http://stevelaube.com/blog/

Alice Crider: http://www.alicecrider.com/category/writing/

(Alice is just getting started in agenting. She’s my former editor and a good friend!)

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

January 15, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 7 Comments

The Truth about Having an Agent

Fifteen years ago, my friend Robin Jones Gunn told me about her editor, Janet Grant, who was becoming an agent. I’d been attending Mt. Hermon Writer’s conferences for a few years, and having an agent seemed cool and very important. It took a few tries for Janet to welcome me into her flock. This was 1997 and before Facebook, so I’m pretty sure the only people who heard about my new agent-ed status was my husband, my dog, and maybe a writer friend or two. I don’t think I mentioned it to anyone at church because how can you explain something like that without sounding like you’re tooting your own horn?

The truth about having an agent is that she listens to my ideas. (I have a lot of ideas, if you couldn’t guess that.)

And she tells me which ones are good. Her mind is like a gold pan that swirls everything around, sloshing out the muddy water and stones, while clinging to the nuggets.

She tells me which ideas won’t work and why . . . and sticks to her beliefs even when I try to convince her otherwise. (And since her track record is pretty darn good, I listen.)

The truth about having an agent is that Janet is really the only one on this planet who understands what I’m juggling. She’s aware of the books that are due, the ideas she’s presenting, and even the ideas that are still being firmed up like cherry jello in the fridge.

The truth about having the same agent for fifteen years is that I’m learning how to read the pauses of her speech and the tones of her voice. I can tell when the phone rings and I pick it up if she has good news, bad news, or just business news. (There’s a special little chirp when there’s good news.)

Now, some of you might be wondering why this is the topic of today’s blog, especially if you’re not a writer or aren’t interested in publishing books.

The truth about having an agent is that I signed up with a life-mentor without realizing it . . . and all of us need mentors. We each need someone to listen to our ideas, to give us wise feedback, and to understand what we’re juggling. Too many of us go through life hiding everything inside and don’t get the chance to be listened to or known.

Having an agent-mentor has also guided me as I support writer-friends. There are times I’ve heard the advice she gave me fifteen, ten, or five years ago coming from my lips.

There is also another reason why I wanted to talk about this. It’s because I want to pass on a little advice to those who are looking to be published. Now, more than ever, it’s easy to get your words in print (or in ebook, which is electronic print). It may be tempting to handle things yourself, to upload your own products to Kindle, and to launch your own career from the security of your couch. While this is the right choice for some of you, in the midst of your business planning consider what you might be missing out on, who you might be missing—a gold pan, a fellow-juggler, an advocate, and a cheerleader.

I’m not going to tell you want to do, but at least take the time to explore what’s possible. For those who are diligent, the right person will come at the right time and you’ll be thankful that God gave you a companion on this writing journey who truly understands.

And that’s the truth.

*Photo credit: Image courtesy of creativedoxfoto / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

January 12, 2013 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Three Words: Location, Location, Location

I’ve written more than thirty novels and for most of them, I’ve traveled on location for research. It takes time. It takes money, and folks may wonder if it’s worth it.

It’s possible to accurate novels without traveling on location, but sometimes the location forms the story.

This happened with my co-written novel Love Finds You in Glacier Bay, Alaska. When Ocieanna and I got the idea for Glacier Bay, we knew we wanted to mix a historical story with a contemporary one. We had a basic idea, but we were basically researching two books, set in two time periods.

Ocieanna and I traveled to Lonesome Prairie, Montana, and to Seattle, Washington for our previous books, and we knew the benefit of on-site research. We hoped we’d find the same benefit in Glacier Bay. Here’s a photo from that trip:

If you are looking to travel for research here are some things that might help.

1. Connect before you go. In each of our trips we did some research ahead of time and found knowledgeable people to talk to. The best places to look were historical societies or museums. A phone call goes a long way. Call the local historical society and museum and set an appointment to visit. Let the person know what you’re looking for. We’ve found wonderful people willing to help. They get excited that writers are interested in what they know. They like to share their expertise. (Just remember to take down everyone’s name so you can thank them in the acknowledgements.)

2. Talk to locals. One of my favorite things to do is simply talk to the locals. Ask: “What is unique about the area? What are some of you rfavorite stories that you tell others. And who else can I talk to.

Check out the rest of my tips over on Novel Rocket!

*Photo credit:

December 5, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 9 Comments

My Writing Desk | Dorothy Love

On my desk are reference books for my work in progress, a couple of my Shaker boxes, photos of Ron and me arriving in Hawaii for our honeymoon, sweetgrass basket from South Carolina, a small sample of my seashell collection taken from beaches all over the world, a wooden travel box from out trip to New Zealand. My current manuscript, my favorite Gel 2 pens, and my favorite brown coffee mug, a gift from my publisher. This is where I hang out every day.

Be sure you stop by my Facebook page for the next few days! I’m hosting a Home for the Holidays 12 Days of Gifts giveaway, and each day will have a new prize. You can also RSVP for my author chat party by clicking here!

~~~

An award-winning author of novels for preteens, young adults and adults, Dorothy Love is currently at work on her 17th novel. She is the author of the Hickory Ridge series, historical novels set in the beautiful Smoky Mountains region of her native Tennessee. Her well-researched, heartwarming stories of small town Southern life, faith, friends, and family reflect the emotions, concerns, and values of women everywhere.

Growing up in McNairy County, Tennessee, Doro attended Bethel Springs Presbyterian Church and the local grade school where she spent every spare moment writing stories to share with her classmates. As a college student in Texas majoring in teaching and English literature, she co-edited her university newspaper. After earning a masters degree and a Ph.D, she authored dozens of magazine articles before breaking into book publishing with a number of award-winning novels for preteens and young adults. The Hickory Ridge series (Thomas Nelson Fiction) marks her adult fiction debut. Visit her website, or connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

Dorothy is giving away a copy of her book Every Perfect Gift. To enter, use the Rafflecopter widget below. Only those in the continental U.S. are eligible to win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

December 3, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

10 Unexpected Ways to Improve Your Writing Productivity

1. Choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with encouraging and inspiring people who believe in your dream.

2. Consider what you read and what you watch. Is it uplifting, inspiring? (Catching the theme?) Do you feel energized after reading/watching or depressed and drain. (I don’t watch the news for the very reason it fills me with worry and fear.)

3. Read the Psalms and praise God. Fix your thoughts on Him!

4. Spend time alone with your spouse. Keep that relationship strong.

5. Get up and MOVE! I wake up before everyone else and ride my exercise bike for one hour. Just sitting without movement in my day drains me and makes me overwhelmed and tired.

6. Be present with the people you are with. Take a break from your smart phone. When my family is around me, my phone is tucked away.

7. Clean out your emotions. Are you worried about something? Are you sad? Let the emotions out. Sometimes I have a good cry because I miss my son, daughter-in-law, and grandson who live 2,000 miles away. If I try to keep these emotions inside they come out in other ways. I’m gray for weeks and weeks . . . and unproductive.

8. Get a life coach. I’ve worked with two amazing women: Judy Baer and Alice Crider. I HIGHLY recommend them both. I’m able to talk through my life with some who knows how to direct me with questions (and are familiar with the writing business). Without fail there is sometime within each session that I have a “light bulb” moment.

9. Ask for help. It’s crazy how often I struggle without even thinking to ask for help. When I ask my husband or kids to make dinner, watch the toddler, or let me run to Panera for a few hours, they are usually happy to oblige. I just need to ask.

10. Focus on ONE THING. Pray and ask God for the “one thing” that you need need do at that moment. Sometimes it’s writing. Sometimes it’s something completely different, but whatever it is, do it with ALL your heart, serving God as you work!

November 12, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 6 Comments

I Finished My Novel During NaNoWriMo—Now What?!

Many people I know are participating in the National Novel Writing Month. Never heard of it? You can find out more info here: http://www.nanowrimo.org/

If you have heard of it and indeed are writing a novel, you might be wondering, What’s next? What do I do after I get my novel done?! I have a few recommendations:

1. First of all, congrats!!! That’s awesome that you finished a 65,000-word manuscript! It’s time to CELEBRATE!

2. Join ACFW (www.acfw.com), connect with a community of authors, and join a critique group. You’ll be able to connect with other writers and help them fine-tune your manuscript while they help to fine-tune yours.

3. Check out My Book Therapy. Susie and Rachel do an awesome job helping you make sure your manuscript is in tip-top shape! Many, many, many of the authors they work with get publishing contracts. (They have a great blog, too!)

4. Revise. Remember that all of us have to revise our first drafts. Don’t feel bad if your novel needs editing and reworking. I don’t know of one writer who writes a perfect novel the first time around. NOT ONE.

5. Don’t let fear grip you. When you know your manuscript is ready, you HAVE TO send it in. If your critique group or writing mentors say it’s ready to start sending out, it’s ready!!

6. Build your team. Before you query a publisher, get connected with a great agent. A great agent will know where your manuscript will fit in the publishing world. [< -- Click to tweet!] An agent already has contacts and relationships. Your agent gives your manuscript klout and attention. Your agent becomes your cheerleader and salesperson.

Here is information from my agent, Janet Grant, on choosing an agent: http://www.booksandsuch.biz/choosing-an-agent/

7. Have faith. Everyone gets rejected. I had many, many novels rejected. Rejection doesn’t mean your manuscript isn’t great. It means your manuscript doesn’t fit that publisher at that time. [< -- Click to tweet!] Your agent will also help you plan your career. Remember, it's not about just getting a novel published, it's about allowing God to use your gift of story to display His goodness to readers!

September 25, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

The Story behind the Story | Guest Post by Colleen Oakes

After I got married in 2003, my wonderful husband, Ryan, and I moved to St. Louis, where he was attended Concordia Seminary for the next four years. I had gone from living in Colorado, surrounded by family and friends, to living in a very bad neighborhood in St. Louis where I knew nobody aside from my husband. Ryan had to jump right into rigorous schooling, and I was often left alone, afraid to go outside and stuck inside, trying to find a job, spiraling into depression.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I had my degree in English, but I didn’t want to be a copy writer or a teacher. My true heart cried out to be a novelist—a writer—but I was insecure and unsure of how to move in that direction. I didn’t have a story to tell yet either, and where there is no story, there can be no inspiration. Having just gotten married and loved the planning, I started thinking about the wedding business and what I would like to do if I got into that sphere. One word came to me again and again: flowers.

I adored my weddings flowers. I couldn’t stop thinking about them—how they were put together, how there was such tiny piece of God’s perfect creation in each and every one. Lonely and desperate for a job, I began calling florists in the St. Louisarea. I got to the “S’s” before someone would even talk to me, a florist in a lovely suburb called Clayton.

After an awkward interview, I was amazed that I was offered a position at this chic, downtown florist. I had no experience, and at first I wasn’t even allowed to touch the flowers. All I did was place or take orders, clean vases, or sweep up stems. The grunt work, basically. My love of flowers grew from there, and in a year I was a designer. We moved to Connecticut for my husband’s one-year internship in the ministry. I got a job at a huge florist there, this time as a head designer. I flourished in the hard, sometimes back-breaking, work. I would fall into bed at night, numb and exhausted, my hands and arms smelling of earth and stamen. I loved it. I had found my creative outlet, and for a long time, designing satisfied me. I returned to St. Louis and got a coveted job at a very high-end wedding florist, the largest in St. Louis. From there, I was able to see even more of the inner workings of the wedding business and the work that went on behind the scenes: stressful, beautiful, driven work, not for the faint of heart. It was the pressure of the perfect day, every day.

One night, after working late, I was driving home and listening to Missy Higgins. An idea came to me as I drove and sang, the wind tossing my hair in the spring breeze. The idea was simple: What if someone was hired to design their lover’s wedding? How would they express that frustration in floral design? Would they do it? What if the wedding was extremely profitable? Would they turn it down? The idea was intriguing, and as soon as I got home, I sat down at my computer and wrote the opening scene to Elly in Bloom.

As much as I wish I could tell you I wrote the entire book in a sudden flurry of activity, I would be lying. I let the book sit then for about three years. I always knew it was there, waiting for me, but I just wasn’t ready. My husband graduated with his masters in theology, and we took a call to Colorado to his first church. I was thrilled to be home, amongst family and friends again, and quickly opened my own wedding florist. Within the first year, we had done ten weddings.

Business thrived. It grew exponentially, until we were one of the top-rated boutique wedding florists in Denver. At first, the work was satisfying and profitable, and I was flying high. But I always had this nagging doubt that was constantly poking inside of my chest, reminding me of those pages that I had written for Elly in Bloom. It seemed my true passion was calling, and though to many, my job working from home as a wedding florist appeared to be a dream job, I knew the truth—this was never my dream. Was it a wonderful job? Yes. But it wasn’t my dream. Writing a novel, now that was my dream.

Two years ago, I was talking about those pages with a new friend, who had her own idea for a book. We decided to write our books together, as writing buddies. It was glorious, and we worked so well together. Together, we wrote, edited, and critiqued, sometimes harshly. Working with a friend worked. A year later, Elly in Bloom was finished, a perfect melding of story, flowers, and humor. The book surprised me—she had a few tricks up her sleeve, after all this time! It was a love letter to St. Louis, the town I had grown to adore. It was an ode to flustered wedding vendors everywhere, and it was a reminder to women everywhere that they can overcome their past and return to their childhood faith. The book seemed to write itself at times, more proof that I was doing exactly what God has called me to do in my vocation, my passion. My book was released this September, and I recently just sold my florist business.

I still love my hands to smell like dirt and tulips, and a well-designed floral arrangement can still make me swoon, but they are nothing compared to holding my new book in my hands and signing it over to people that I love.

This is me, in bloom, in a way that only God could imagine.

Elly in Bloom by Colleen Oakes is now available on Amazon.com, in both the paperback and Kindle versions.

Summary: Surrounded by lush flowers and neurotic brides, chubby 32-year old Elly Jordan has carved out a sweet little life for herself as the owner of Posies, a boutique wedding florist in St. Louis. It’s not bad for a woman who drove away from her entire life just two years ago when she found her husband entwined with a red-headed artist.

Sure, Elly has an embarrassingly beautiful best friend, a terribly behaved sheepdog and a sarcastic assistant who she simply calls “Snarky Teenager”, but overall her days are pleasantly uneventful. As a bonus, her new next door neighbor just happens to be an unnervingly handsome musician who has an eye for curvy Elly.

Just when she feels that she is finally moving on from her past, she discovers that an extravagant wedding contract, one that could change her financial future, is more than she bargained for.

With the help of her friends, staff and the occasional well-made sandwich, Elly bravely agrees to take on the event that threatens to merge her painful history with her bright new life, and finds herself blooming in a direction she never imagined.

Elly’s voice, both charming and hilarious, will appeal to those readers who have been looking for a new voice in chick-lit, and will give women of all sizes the realistic heroine they’ve been waiting for.

September 21, 2012 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Get to Know Tricia | My Writing

What has been challenging your writing career?

What I find most challenging balancing kids and writing. I’ve been a homeschooling mom since 1995 when I first started getting published. Two years ago we adopted a baby, who is now a very active toddler (and if you don’t believe me, just check out my Facebook page for constant updates about her). It’s challenging getting quiet time to write, but it’s a blessing, too. I have a lot of life experience to write about.

Another challenge for me was my discovery of myself as a writer. When writers first start writing, it’s about them and what’s inside—it’s a very emotional experience—and then along the way it becomes about producing what publishers want. The balance has been writing what’s inside in a way publishers want—and in a way that will impact and inspire readers.

What was the most difficult part of writing The Memory Jar?

The most challenging part is writing an Amish novel that’s different than the other Amish novels out there (and believe me, there are hundreds). They tend to have common themes: a non-Amish person coming into the community, or an Amish person is considering leaving the community. My novel doesn’t have either of those aspects. Instead it’s a story of an Amish woman, Sarah, paying more attention to the past and the friend she lost than her hopes for the future. Both Sarah and Jathan try to follow God’s call for their lives even when others believe want to hold them back from pushing the boundaries. (And you can pre-order the book for only $4.99 on Amazon!)

How did your book evolve as you wrote it?

The opening involves a scene where Sarah loses her best friend in an accident. As I explored Sarah’s character I realized that her past—and her relationship with her friend Patty—paved the way for her future healing and her relationship with Jathan. The more I explored, the more the past and the present tied together, and I included many scenes with Sarah and Patty over the years up to Patty’s death.

Flashbacks weren’t something I planned on including or using a lot of in The Memory Jar, but I love the way it turned out. I won’t give the end of the novel away, but the storyline from the past plays a special part in the end of the novel.

For more about Tricia’s novel and to see some Memory Jar-inspired DIY projects, click here!

September 7, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

Start Your Own Writers’ Club

One of my favorite extracurricular homeschool activities was leading a monthly home-school writers’ club. We called ourselves “Writing Nerds” because that’s what we were: a group who loved reading and were interested in writing. Our group was made up of junior high and high school homeschoolers. We met for an hour and a half each month. If you like reading, and know the basics of fiction writing, consider starting a group. Here are some activities to get you started!

1. Give each student each three slips of paper. On the first they have to write a person/character. On the second they have to write a setting. On the third they have to write a conflict. I had a basket for each (characters, setting, conflict), and they tossed them all in. Then they had to draw one slip of paper out of each basket . . . and they had five minutes to write a story about their character, conflict, and setting. I told them they had to 1) Open with dialogue in paragraph #1, 2) Describe the action in paragraph #2, and 3) then they could describe the setting in paragraph #3. After that they could continue with the story as they saw fit. They then read the stories out loud, and they were HILARIOUS! I still remember one was about a nun who had to bail from a plane that was crashing in Paris.

2. To teach dialogue I used plays (such as mixed-up fairy tales). Here are some free ones: http://freeschoolplays.com/. We assigned parts, and we read sections of them out loud. Then I had them write the dialogue of the same characters in a different situation. For example, what if Baby Bear in the three bears showed up at the first day of school and his seat mate was Goldilocks?

3. We colored books. I photocopied the first pages of a novel—such as Kingdom’s Dawn by Chuck Black—and gave everyone a copy and crayons. Red for action. Green for dialogue. Yellow for internal thoughts. Orange for description. Pink for emotion. This really helped them see how novels are not just narrative (this happened, then that happened, etc.). Sometimes I had them write their own story following the same “color pattern.” The results were impressive. Sometimes we colored the openings to two different novels and then compared the authors’ writing style.

4. We used Randy Ingermanson’s Snowflake Method and “plotted” a novel. http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php

5. We assigned people to bring short stories or parts of their book to class every week. They had a limit of 1,000 words, and they had to make enough photocopies for everyone in class. We passed around the story and gave eight to ten minutes for them to read the story. Then everyone had to go around and share three things they liked and one thing they didn’t like. I was the last to comment after everyone was done, and I did the same (but I usually gave two or three suggestions about ways they could improve their story). I was amazed how insightful the students were. The majority of the time they discovered all the “issues” by the time it got to me

6. I had a collection of objects—steel wool, sponge, a plant, coins, etc.—that they could handle, and they had to write descriptions of them. Then they had to use that same description and describe something else—for example the description for steel wool became the description for a night’s armor.

Those are a few ideas to get you started. A writing club is great fun and educational, too!

P.S. Don’t forget to enter this homeschool-planning software giveaway and this book set giveaway from Tracie Peterson! Also, be sure to enter your photos into the photo assignment before 3 p.m. EDT today!

You can pre-order my newest novel, The Memory Jar, for only $4.99 here!

August 27, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 19 Comments

Writing Historical Fiction | You Don’t Need as Many Facts as You Think

Writing Historical Fiction, Tricia Goyer — The truth about writing historical fiction is you don’t need as many facts as you think.

When I first started writing, the last thing I wanted to write was historical fiction. I thought it would be tooooo much research. The truth is . . . it is!

But I also discovered I LOVE research, and writing historical fiction has become a love of mine. A few things I’ve done while researching for my historical novels:

1. I’ve interviewed a Holocaust survivor in a village in Austria just a few minutes from where he was liberated.

2. I’ve taking a tour of an Alaskan bay and saw the swish of a whale’s tale.

3. I walked the cobblestone streets of Prague—the very streets Nazis once marched down.

4. I wandered through a Jewish museum in Frankfurt, Germany, and learned of the horrors done to Jews over generations.

5. I’ve interviewed a ninety-three-year-old rancher in Montana whose parents were homesteaders.

6. I’ve chatted with a woman who was a riveter for B-17 Bombers in Seattle during World War II.

History is fascinating! The people are fascinating. The hard part is making sure my historical novels aren’t entirely about the history. Historical fiction should not be boring!

Yes, the piles of shoes and clothes found upon liberation of the concentration camp amazes me, but I always have to ask myself, “Is this information vital to my story?”

Facts can weigh down your novel, no matter how interesting the facts are.

When I first started writing historical fiction I researched way too much. When I wrote my first historical novel From Dust and Ashes,

I learned about the places the prisoners came from, their lives before the war, their lives after the war, how they got to the death camps, and what happened afterward.

One of the fascinating things I read about was Displaced Person Camps. Those who survived the concentration camps went to these camps until they were able to find their way home. At these camps families were reunited or people discovered the deaths of their loved ones.

When writing From Dust and Ashes I wanted to include this information; after all, I’d spent so much time learning about the camps. So in the middle of my story my characters left their location, went to one of these camps, looked for someone (who wasn’t there), and then returned. The scenes were powerful and emotional, but they had no place in the story . . . and my editor pointed that out.

In the end those chapters were cut. I was sad (because now I’d spent time writing those scenes, too), but it was worth it. The book was better for it.

So while researching for historical novels is important, don’t let the research take you on a rabbit trail. It’s a waste of time, and it’ll most likely need to be cut.

Today, when I sit down to write my historical fiction, I figure out what’s going to be in the novel and what information I’ll need; I’ll research only that. Of course, sometimes my research will uncover a gem I have to add, but for the most part I focus only what I’ve already determined my story needs.

So write history! Write it well! Don’t be afraid to write historical fiction. But don’t let too many facts get in the way of writing a beautiful story. You do need the facts—just not as many as you think.

August 24, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 9 Comments

Your Writing can Benefit Your Kids | Your Kids can Benefit Your Writing

Keeping “family first” is tough when it comes to writing. The hardest part is not getting frustrated trying to do it all! Sometimes I get impatient with my family when I have a deadline. Other times, I’m sluggish because I have to work when I want to be having fun with my family. It’s a tough balancing act.

Of course, my dedication to writing isn’t all bad. When I first wrote, I did it while my kids were napping or after they went to bed. It was “my time” away from the cooking, cleaning, and diapers.

Once the kids got older they had to learn that “Mom had work, too.” I wasn’t always there to entertain them. This actually turned out to be a good thing. As the kids got older, they knew how to entertain themselves. They read books, played games, created art. And because all three of them were home together every day, they were always busy creating forts or producing skits. They became best pals!

Having kids who knew how to keep themselves occupied was huge. I have a lot of friends whose kids need to be entertained. They have to have Mom there, providing them with things to do or shuffling them from one activity to another. That’s benefit number one.

I also feel seeing Mom do big things is beneficial for my kids. It gives them confidence in their own interests. If mom can think of an idea, work hard, and produce a book . . . why can’t they follow their dreams?

My writing also expands my kids’ vision. For instance, my kids hear me talk about my travels and/or the people I interview. They’ve traveled with me and met amazing people, too. Expanding our horizons and connecting with others has become commonplace.

Then again, another person is affect by my writing. My husband, John, has always been my biggest cheerleader. He believed in me long before anyone else. Even today he listens to my ideas and gives me great feedback. He’s put up with my trips (to writing conferences, speaking events, book conventions), and he understands when I sometimes get too carried away at the bookstore ($$$!). Also, as I grow as a writer, I grow in all areas of my life. I honestly feel I’m a better wife due to the lessons I’ve learned on this writing path.

And personally, I feel I’m also a stronger person because of my path to publication. Writing has opened new doors for me, and it has helped me become more confident. Writing makes me happy . . . and a happy wife is a good wife and mom.

Also, I feel this career is in line with the Proverbs 31 woman. (Who can forget her?) Whether she was reality or a mere symbol, who this woman was in Christ made the difference in all areas of her life. The Proverbs 31 woman not only focused on her family, she also used her creative talents for God’s glory . . . and her husband and children rose to call her blessed!

Also, as children of God, we need to feel like what we do fulfills our God-given dreams. These dreams matter. In my opinion, too many women pour so much into their families that they no longer feel any of “them” is left. Even taking one small step, followed by another, helps us to feel like we’re making progress in following God’s dreams.

Of course, balance is everything. I’ve really had to learn when to stop for the day. I usually keep my writing to afternoons. My kids get my mornings, and my husband and family get my evenings. Once my husband’s home for the day, I’m around. I cook dinner and spend time in the evenings with him. I’m sure I could get a lot more accomplished (writing-wise) if I turned everything over to him and ran upstairs for free writing time, but my marriage is too important for that.

I’ve also had to come up with “management tips” for life.

I plan all my errands for one or two days. Running to the store, post office, etc. everyday would be a big time killer.
I trained my kids to take part in household chores. When they were all at home, my oldest son did all the floors and trash removal. My youngest son set and cleared the table and put the food away. He also cared for our pets and gathered all the dirty laundry. My daughter did all the dishes and kept the kitchen clean. It was great training and a big help for mom!
I hire someone to clean for four or five hours every few weeks. It’s been so worth the cost—both for writing time and my peace of mind.

Balancing family and writing is never easy, but I try to keep my priorities straight. The old saying goes, “You’ll never get to the end of your life and say, ‘I wish I would have worked more.’”

Finally, my writing benefits from these priorities, too. When it comes to putting words on the page, I just do it. Because I have kids, I have to sit down and produce. There’s no letting my mind wander, no playing around on the computer. And I actually think that because of this, I get a lot more done than others I know who have all day to write.

My family is also my inspiration. They have shown me how to love, how to cry, how to rejoice. My writing would be flat and lifeless without those I love most.