sin

August 21, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins? I used to feel the same way. Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love – not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

Further Resources:

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

May 17, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

When God Asks You to Return to Your Darkest Place

Our darkest place is usually something we want to put past us and ignore. But what do you do when God asks you to return to that place?

What is the darkest place in your life? A place of heartache? Or even sin? Without a doubt, my darkest place was when I walked away from God during my teen years. I became sexually active at a young age, and I chose to have an abortion at age 15. I found myself pregnant again—by the same boyfriend—at age 17 and the second time I chose life.

From the moment after I walked out of the clinic after by abortion, I regretted it. And the pain and shame hung around my neck for many years. In 1995 I attended a post-abortion Bible study, and I found hope and healing. I walked into freedom, and I was thankful that I was able to accept God’s forgiveness and forgive myself, yet the last thing I wanted to do was dwell on what I’d done. I wanted to bury the past in the past and pretend that it hadn’t happened. Yet we know that’s impossible. The past changes us in so many ways. Not only that but then I received the call.

God ASKED me to go back to my darkest place.

It all started in 1998 when my pastor approached me about starting a crisis pregnancy center. I was NOT interested. I was a full-time homeschooling mom and a part-time writer. More than that, I wanted to forget my bad choices … and I didn’t want to have to revisit my decision with every client who came in.

Yet when I prayed about it, God’s answer was clear: “What about the young women who need hope … just like you needed hope? Who will help them if you don’t?”

It wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. I’ll admit it was hard going back to that dark place. I did have to share my story with others. I did have to re-live the pain again and again. Yet, each time I told my story it was easier to tell. I was also able to see the difference my story could make. God used me to help women because I had been there. I’d walked through the darkest places, and I found Jesus on the other side.

St. Patrick of Ireland

As I was thinking about my darkest place, I also thought about one of the stories in my book Prayers That Changed History. It’s about St. Patrick of Ireland.

Patrick’s trip to Ireland is one that horror stories are made of. At age 16 Patrick was kidnapped by raiders and taken to Ireland as a slave. From the book:

Ireland was a very different place than Britain. The people believed in very different things, including dark forces. Patrick had grown up with a family who believed in God and who made the Lord the center of their lives. The people in Ireland—the Druids—had ungodly ways. (Prayers that Changed History)

Years later Patrick turned to God. He credits the Holy Spirit for showing him how to escape. He finally made it home to Britain. Can you imagine his relief to walk in freedom again? I’m sure Patrick NEVER wanted to return to Ireland, but that’s where God led him.

Eventually, Patrick made it home, but he did not leave behind the memory of the people of Ireland. He continued to think about their great need for God. Patrick prayed for the people. Then one night, a dream came—one he never forgot.

In his dream, the people wanted to know about God, and they knew that Patrick was the one who could share the Good News with them …

Patrick left his family once again—this time by choice. (Prayers that Changed History)

Patrick returned to Ireland at the age of 40. Soon many monks journeyed with him. He spent 30 years telling thousands of people about Jesus, and because of the truth that he shared Ireland was changed.

Why did God send Patrick back to his darkest place? It’s the same reason why he sends us back to ours.

We understand the pain.
We understand the culture and language.
We understand the need.
We can communicate hope because we’ve been there, too.

Former drug dealers can talk real with current drug dealers. Former drunkards understand the pull of a drink. Women who’ve had affairs can tell other women how to turn back to faithfulness. Women who’ve had abortions can share the pain and shame. They can also share how to find healing through Jesus.

God asks us to go back to dark places not to burden us, but because there are those He wants to reach with HIS LIGHT.

God doesn’t need us to have any special talents or abilities, we just have to be willing to show up.

Because Patrick had been willing to go back to Ireland many people who lived in a pagan nation found Christ. Because I was willing to help start a crisis pregnancy center, over the years thousands of women have gotten the help they need … and hundreds of children have been born because their mothers realized that abortion wasn’t the right answer.

What about you? Where is the darkest place you’ve ever been? How has God brought you out? Take a moment to ponder your story.

Now, consider how you can go back to that place with the help and hope of Jesus. There are others out there waiting for you to bring them the Light!

Additional Resources

Get the book here.

10 Ways to Help Others Find Healing in Christ: Hints for Unwinding Grave Clothes

On Tuesday I shared about a personal struggle, and how I became transparent and asked others to help me find healing. You can read: Being Transparent: 3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing here.

There are times when we need help healing. There are other times when Jesus is asking you to help someone else. Here are 10 ways to help others find healing in Christ.

Hints for Unwinding Grave Clothes:

While only God can resurrect dead people, He specifically calls us to help love them back into life. Here is how to do that:

Be available (Matthew 9:36). Ask for eyes to see what God sees and where He would have you participate in His work. When you recognize a need, ask how He wants you to be involved. Sometimes prayer is our only calling. But when the Holy Spirit prompts you to step forward into the situation, don’t shrink back.
Pray specifically about what God is calling you to do (Isaiah 30:21). Whether it involves taking an hour to listen or a significant ongoing investment of time and resources—whatever you feel called to do, do it. But also check your motives. Keep in mind that the work is God’s, and you are simply there to do what He tells you.
Listen to the person’s story (Galatians 6:2). Too often we operate out of faulty assumptions. Ask the person to share his or her story, and insert pertinent questions to help the process along. Often it isn’t until we know where people have been that we’re able to help them get where they need to be—and the very act of listening brings healing. At the same time, don’t allow yourself to get swept into an emotional drama and forget to factor in God.
Be trustworthy (Proverbs 11:13). When a person tells you something in confidence, don’t share it elsewhere without permission—not even in vague prayer requests or in general, unnamed discussions. Be a safe haven in which other people can learn to trust and rest their hearts. (Note: The only exception to the confidentiality rule is in cases of abuse, imminent danger, or suicidal tendencies. These must be reported, but let the person involved know you are going to do so.)
Invite Jesus into the interaction (James 5:16). You’ll want to do this with care and sensitivity, as some have been wounded by religious people in the past. (Sadly, it happens.) Look for ways to bring Jesus and His love into the conversation in nonjudgmental ways. Pray together, taking each and every need to Him. Encourage the development of a personal relationship with God, and gently urge the other person to turn to Him first with his or her needs.
Ask God for wisdom (Colossians 1:9). Let the Bible be your guide. Don’t counsel solely out of your own experience, opinion, or bias, or you may give tainted advice. Ask the Holy Spirit for a gift of faith to see what the person can become so that you minister out of hope, not despair. Find scriptural promises to pray and declare boldly over the person’s life. Ask the Lord to lead you to helpful resources you can share.
Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Someone has said, “Love without truth is flattery, but truth without love is cruelty.” Ask God to give you a genuine love for the person. Speak words of affirmation often, pointing out good qualities in his or her life and praising the progress made. But don’t be afraid to gently point out inconsistencies between the person’s life and God’s Word. Do it humbly and gently, knowing that truth sets us free.
Make room for others to help (Proverbs 15:22). We are rarely the only ones God uses in people’s lives. God has also appointed certain people—parents, spouses, pastors—to provide both authority and spiritual protection. Honor and support such “coverings” when appropriate. Be willing to decrease so other godly influences can increase. If you sense the other person is becoming overly dependent on you, point it out gently and slowly step back so God can step in. And don’t be offended if your season in someone’s life comes to an end sooner than you think it should.
Remember, graveclothes consist of layers (Galatians 6:9–10). Freedom doesn’t come all at once. It is a process of healing you are witnessing, not an event. Don’t give way to cynicism or frustration when it seems to take longer than it should or when one problem is dealt with only to reappear in another form. Encourage yourself and the one you minister to that God will be faithful to finish what He has started. We simply have to cooperate—one layer at a time.
Above all, trust God (Hebrews 12:2). Lasting healing is God’s work, and He’s good at it. Trust that the Holy Spirit is working in the heart of the one who needs freedom, and let Him have His way in you as well. Be willing to do what God asks when He asks it, then commit the person to His love and His care. Operate out of faith, not fear. Then watch what God will do!

These 10 points is from an excerpt from Joanna Weaver’s book, Lazarus Awakening: Finding Your Place in the Heart of God. Her new companion DVD Bible study that released July 2015. In the teaching sessions filmed in Israel, Joanna explores the halfway life too many have settled for, even as Christians. With the Holy Spirit’s help, we can step out of our tombs and shed the graveclothes that often bind us. But we’re also called to help those around us do the same.

“While we were never meant to be anyone’s Messiah,” Joanna says, “we are called to come alongside our sisters and brothers and love them as Jesus does. We do what He asks us to do and He does the rest!”

To view the promo video and learn more about Joanna’s new DVD Bible study, go to www.joannaweaverbooks.com. You can connect with Joanna at www.Facebook.com/BecomingHis

Also, I’d love to hear from you: What keeps you from helping other people shed their graveclothes? Also, how has God invited you to be involved in someone else’s healing. I’d love to hear!

10 ways to help others find healing in Christ. @JoannaWeaverBks @TriciaGoyer #LazarusAwakening

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

August 4, 2015 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Being Transparent: 3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

Years ago, in 2005, I faced one of the hardest struggles of my life. I thought I was doing so well—as a writer, as a mom, and as a wife. One November, I pondered my family, and my work, and I thought things couldn’t get any better. I even prayed Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

God did some searching, and I didn’t like what He found! God showed me ways that I needed healing. He uncovered areas of my life that needed healing.

It started with an email from an old boyfriend, and my heartbeat jumped to my throat. I’d thought about Steven* from time to time but that moment all the 14-year-old emotions came rushing back. I felt like that young teen again who’d found her “first love.” And as I thought about him I became dissatisfied by my current life. (How horrible is that?!)

Even though I broke off all communication with Steven,* in the coming months I still struggled with my emotions. What I realized is that even though Jesus had given me a new life I was still wrapped up in the old graveclothes. My good friend, Joanna Weaver, gives us a good picture of those graveclothes in her book, Lazarus Awakening: Finding Your Place in the Heart of God:

I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Lazarus shuffle out of the darkness of the tomb, wrapped in thin strips of linen according to the custom of the day. His arms and legs were probably wrapped individually, which allowed some movement. But to say the man was restricted would be an understatement.

The stench of death surely lingered around him. Depending on the original sickness, bloody patches may have marked the burial garment here and there, interspersed with yellow-crusted infection. Though a welcome sight to those who loved him, the resurrected Lazarus might also have been a bit frightening to behold.

I wonder what Mary and Martha thought when Jesus said, “Loose him, and let him go” (John 11:44, nkjv). As happy as I’d be to see my brother alive, I wouldn’t want to touch the strips of linen that had clung to his rotting flesh. After all, who knew what lay beneath the bandages? Just how resurrected was he?

Unwinding graveclothes. It’s a dirty job. But someone has to do it.

Someone has to do it. And that’s one of the factors of Lazarus’ story that shocks me most. For while Jesus Christ did what only He could do—bring a dead man back to life—He invited those who stood around watching to help with the process.

“Loose him, and let him go.” It’s the same command Christ gives the church today.

Read an excerpt from @JoannaWeaverBks’s #LazarusAwakening on @TriciaGoyer’s blog:

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Don’t you love that? Jesus invited others to help Him with the process of healing! In my next blog I’m going to share hints for helping others who need healing, but first I want to speak to YOU. Do you have areas in your life where you need healing? Are you tired to the odor of death and stench that seem to cling to you? Do you wonder why the pain and the shame from the past still can cling to you, even though you’re a new creation in Christ? If so, keep reading. And be willing to ask others for help.

Joanna’s words are powerful to me because she was one of the friends who helped me remove my graveclothes. But in order for her to do that I had to be transparent and show her my mess. I had to confess Steven’s* email and the emotions that I thought were long gone. I knew that I couldn’t be strong in my own strength. I needed help. Here are three ways I invited Joanna—and other friends—in:

3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

I asked for prayer. Are you struggling? Ask your friend(s) to pray. Find people who you can trust. Let them know your struggles, and count on their prayers to hold you up.
I asked for Scripture passages. After I asked for prayers, I also asked my friends for their favorite Scripture passages. I spend time reading them, meditating on them and praying them myself. My friends pointed me to verses I’d forgotten. And, as I read, God’s word healed me.
I listened to their advice. This was the hardest part, but I listened to the advice of my friends. They shared how they overcame their own struggles in their own lives. They spoke with love, but they didn’t sugarcoat the situation. Sometimes it was hard to be transparent with my struggles and to listen, but my godly friends steered me in the right direction. I’m so thankful for that.

What are you struggling with? Open up and let your friends know. Be transparent and invite others into your healing. That’s the way God has designed things. We need each other in so many ways.

Today, spend time praying about the parts of your life that you need to be healed from. And if you would like to help others find the same type of healing then read Thursday’s post: 10 Ways to Help Others Find Healing in Christ. Until then, check out Joanna’s new book and DVD series!

Find healing today. @TriciaGoyer shares 3 ways to invite others into your healing here:

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To view the promo video and learn more about Joanna’s new DVD Bible study, go to www.joannaweaverbooks.com. You can connect with Joanna at www.Facebook.com/BecomingHis

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April 3, 2015 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

What’s So Good About Good Friday?

“I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you … that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, [and] that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.” 1 Corinthians 15:1,3-4 (NIV)

Today, people all around the world are celebrating Good Friday. Businesses are closed and, in some cases, school is out. Yet, when I was younger I used to wonder what was so “Good” about it. I mean Jesus died a horrible death . . . are we supposed to celebrate that?

As I grew older, I came to realize that the “good” part of Good Friday is what I received out of the deal.

The “good” part of Good Friday is what I received out of the deal! @TriciaGoyer

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Before I accepted Christ at age seventeen, I was empty, lonely, and fearful. I was pregnant and alone. I had no hope for the future.

Today, I have family, friends, and a writing career, but even more than that–I have Christ. He fills me with joy, guides my steps, and strengthens me to live in this confusing world. He has given me hope.

What about you? Have you taken time to think about your life and where you’re headed? Good Friday is a great time to ponder this. Because what happened on this day thousands of years ago can profoundly impact your life, too.

It can hard to celebrate such a somber day—the day your one and only Son died on the cross for me—but I am forever grateful for the love and saving grace I have as result. Thank you for Jesus and his sacrifice for ME! Help me remember that powerful truth each day and not just around the Easter season. I love you, Father God!

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February 25, 2015 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Fifty Shades of Brokenness | No Explanation Needed

50 Shades of Brokenness

No Explanation Needed

1. There is a painful situation. You hurt me.
2. You have made me despairing and desperate.
3. You are making me weary and tired of said circumstance.
4. You are to blame and stand condemned.
5. You must not win, no matter the cost.
6. You exert more pressure, more control. It becomes a battle of the wills.
7. The pain only gets worse, the circumstance more out of control.
8. You become like a wounded animal. Totally unpredictable.
9. At points you appear as though you are giving up. You don’t.
10. You pull out all the stops. You manipulate and shame. Shame on you.
11. Your position hardens. Who are you?
12. Eventually, you are so exhausted, you don’t know how to go on.
13. As you cling to the last shred of your rope, you have an epiphany.
14. There is no other place to turn but God.
15. You let go. Give up.
16. You throw yourself into His hand.
17. You accept your circumstance.
18. You quit blaming, including both God and me.
19. You becomes me.
20. I come to terms with God and understand His sovereignty.
21. I see with clarity for the first time, my self-righteousness and selfishness.
22. I resign not only myself into God’s hands, but you as well.
23. He gently reveals I am more of the problem than I think I am.
24. I come to terms with His premise.
25. I discover there is much more beneath the surface. Woundedness.
26. He pours grace upon me.
27. I discover that the reason for #1 is really not the reason. Not even close.
28. He pours grace upon grace upon me. My soul is dredged.
29. With each level of grace extended, there is more junk discovered.
30. I come to terms with each level of junk, as painful as it is. Deeper dredging.
31. I am embarrassed and ashamed.
32. More grace and more grace. I want to follow this grace-filled Christ.
33. I learn to forgive. Myself, God and you.
34. He extends more grace.
35. I think I can’t go any lower.
36. I can.
37. There is still more grace. I want to follow Him more.
38. I think this can’t go on forever.
39. It does.
40. I wonder how long it will last.
41. … until I see Christ face-to-face.
42. I come to realize that brokenness is not one time event, but a lifelong process.
43. The pain from the original circumstance has been replaced by the mourning of brokenness.
44. The painful memory of the original circumstance, has a weird mix of inexplicable joy.
45. That Christ would love me, despite who I really am, is an amazing thing.
46. I come to terms with my past.
47. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
48. Neither would I wish it on my worst enemy.
49. I have no choice but to extend grace to you in the way it has been extended to me.
50. I am now usable by God in ways I never imagined.

50 shades of brokenness. No explanation needed. @harrywli @triciagoyer

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Harry Li is the Campus Pastor of Mosaic’s Little Rock Campus, joining the church in 2002. Prior to that, he was an Associate Professor of Electrical Engineering at the University of Idaho in Moscow.

Harry has a heart for prayer and is involved with a relational network of pastors who, through a citywide movement of prayer, desire to see spiritual renewal and revival in Central Arkansas. He also consults on diversity and cultural issues in the workplace to a variety of companies and organizations.

Harry and his wife, Melanie, reside in Little Rock and have three daughters, Anna, Katie, and Meredith.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

September 8, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

In the World, Not of It: Protecting Innocence

“I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar. I hate all who deal crookedly; I will have nothing to do with them.” Psalm 101:3 (NLT)

I can remember the first horror film I watched was when I was in third or fourth grade. The plot line was about a man who moved into a haunted house and then uncovers all the horror that happened there. I’m scarred for life, seriously. Who let me watch that? (Sorry, Mom and Dad, but it’s true.) I thought about that movie many times over the years. It didn’t leave me. That movie (and others that followed) brought fears and dark thoughts.

I’m sure at the time I begged to watch it and other movies I also still remember—those with sex and violence and foul language. When I was a kid, MTV and HBO had just shown up on the scene. Television was no longer a “safe” place . . . and I was drawn to all the smut. What kid isn’t? I wanted to feel grown-up. I liked being scared and having my heart race at both romance and danger.

The thing is, as a kid, I didn’t know what to do with buds of the sinful desires that were also stirred up.

Sure, I’d watch Fraggle Rock during the day, but at night when my friends were staying over, we’d turn the TV down and watch movies I’m too embarrassed to name. Then there were the popular songs at the time. How many times could one sing “Like a Virgin” by Madonna without the words making an impact? (I’m sure glad that I didn’t grow up with the Internet; kids today have many more temptations!)

So where did that leave me? At thirteen when I got my first boyfriend, my innocence was already gone—or at least that’s what it felt like. So when I started dating a handsome, older boyfriend, getting caught up in the emotion was easy. After all that’s what those people on those movies did.

I don’t think I consciously made an effort to surrender my innocence.

It was never that simple. By the time my boyfriend gave me my first kiss my innocence had been stripped away one movie, one lusty song at a time. I didn’t have a sense of “Should I do this?” Instead, I thought “Finally.” After all those years of watching “romance,” I finally was experiencing a bit of it myself.

As a mom, I went to the extreme with protecting my kids, or so some people thought. My children couldn’t listen to secular music, and I monitored all their television. They couldn’t watch Jurassic Park until they were in junior high and Wizard of Oz was pretty much off limits until then.

I even homeschooled my kids so I could be the gatekeeper of what entered their lives. I’m thankful I did. My intention at the time may have been to protect my kids’ innocence, but the close relationships built during those years—and mostly their relationships with God—are our reward.

Turn to God for strength and wisdom in leading your kids toward all things pure. @TriciaGoyer

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We need to step out of our Christian circles and impact the world. I believe that.

There’s a difference between my daughter accidentally overhearing a conversation between two pregnant teens than me allowing a movie with sexually promiscuity into our home. If you’ve reached out to and are walking with others, in a dirty world you’re going to get messy at times. Though we should model grace and compassion for our kids, we should never risk their innocence for the sake of entertainment.

Did protecting my kids’ innocence work? No and yes.

In their growing-up years they still watched things they shouldn’t (when I didn’t know) and one of my children as a teen found a way to get around some of the safety protections we set up on the Internet and was drawn into places this teen should never have been. So I wasn’t able to protect my kids completely. But in many ways they were allowed to stay kids longer. Their minds weren’t filled with the smut, and it gave more room for God’s word and a relationship with Jesus to grow.

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

Protecting your child’s innocence may call you to higher standards for yourself.

You might even need to make sacrifices of money and time (especially if God calls you to homeschooling, too). But know that your effort will pay off. We only have a short season when we’re able to protect our children. Don’t let the world’s standards influence you. Instead turn to God for strength and wisdom for guidance in leading your kids toward all things pure.

Prayer

Lord, fix my thoughts on truth, honor, and purity. Give me heavenly standards. Show me ways I protect the innocence around me in my day.

More Resources

Lead Your Family Like Jesus Activity Sheet – Download here.
Lead Your Family Like Jesus with Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges
Louder Than Words: The Power of Uncompromised Living by Andy Stanley
Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by Dr. Kara E Powell & Dr. Chap Clark
Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace by Heath Lambert

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August 20, 2014 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

The One Thing God Asks

Sometimes being available to God means crossing an ocean to be a missionary or moving a thousand miles or starting a crisis pregnancy center. But sometimes, even harder, following God is in the small stuff.

Sometimes following God is in the small stuff. @TriciaGoyer

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Years ago, a book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff became popular. And while we shouldn’t worry or fret over things that are inconsequential, we do have to commit ourselves to the small stuff He leads us to. After all, years are made up of minutes. And our life’s mission is lived out one decision at a time.

Yes, we’d go crazy if we had to focus on every little detail and wonder if it’s God’s plan. (Lord, is it your will that I have a turkey sandwich for lunch?) I’m not talking about that. I am talking about focusing on obedience to what God has called you to do. To do that, we simply have to focus on one thing before the next thing.

In giving her advice to authors in the book Bird by Bird, Amy Lamott says it this way: “All I have to do is to write down as much as I can see through a one-inch picture frame. This is all I have to bite off for the time being… just what I can see through the one-inch picture frame, just one paragraph describing this woman, in the town where I grew up, the first time we encounter her.”

The same one-inch picture frame can be used, not only for writing, but for our lives. The only thing we need to focus on is… Read the rest of this post on Sonoma Christian Home.

Tricia Goyer Books On Sale! — click here for more info!

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August 11, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

Sometimes I’ve Felt Like My Heart Has Been Mangled With a Wire Brush.

While most writers might want our books to sell more, many writers are surprised by the challenges that come with that kind of success.

I’m not talking about fame, notoriety, and greater demands. (Although those are challenges, too.) I’m talking about God’s sanctification process. It seems to me the greater influence one has, the more God’s really going to dig in and help you dig out the junk in your own heart. Why? As Luke 12:3 says, “Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear!”

I also like how The Message puts it:

“You can’t keep your true self hidden forever; before long you’ll be exposed. You can’t hide behind a religious mask forever; sooner or later the mask will slip and your true face will be known. You can’t whisper one thing in private and preach the opposite in public; the day’s coming when those whispers will be repeated all over town.” (Luke 12:2-5)

Or in the Tricia Goyer version: “The more influence you have, the more you’re going to reflect what a Christian is all about—for the good and the bad. And God is a God who doesn’t want anyone giving Him a bad name. But instead of giving His children the boot, God sets to work at scouring us out—transforming us into a vessel worthy of use.”

I’ve experienced this personally and I’ve even seen it happening in the lives of my author friends. Over the years God has dealt with me concerning past relationships, unhealthy longings, pride, the need for approval, and materialism. (To name a few!) I’ve had more days than I want to admit where I’ve relinquished things to God, only to go back to my unholy ways the next day. Yet God doesn’t give up. He knows that I can only be a good influence—through my words and my life—if His goodness is in me. That means scrubbing out the bad.

Sometimes I’ve felt like my heart has been mangled with a wire brush. Sin doesn’t release its grasp freely. But on the other side of that cleansing is a freedom that’s hard to describe. The freedom is worth the pain. God knows this. He knows I’ll thank Him in the end, even if it’s through blurry tears.

The thing is just when one area of my life gets cleaned up, God sets His gaze on another area I’ve been trying to ignore. Lately He’s been dealing with me about my struggle with daily habits and behaviors. The more I dig into God’s Word, the more I see it’s a spiritual issue. It’s yet other area where I want to please self instead of turning to God.

I know the journey’s going to be hard—with this issue and the other issues God will faithfully reveal. The battle against sin is always, well, a battle. But I’m looking forward to a greater freedom at the end.

Sin is always a battle. But I’m looking forward to a greater freedom at the end. @TriciaGoyer

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I’m also looking forward to those who God will connect me with during the process. And just maybe my influence will touch them in ways it never could have before. That’s what I’m counting on. If something’s going to be shouted from the rooftops through my life and my witness, I want it to be about how faithful, loving, and dedicated God is about transforming me into the likeness of His Son.

Prayer

Soften my ego to learn the lessons you have waiting for me to learn. Bring me to edge so I can feel the vastness of Love and the cleansing it has to offer me. I’m looking to the great freedom available to me.

My book The Kissing Bridge is a featured item in Barnes & Noble through August 18th! Next time you’re at Barnes & Noble, snap a photo of the book and post it on social media with the hashtag #iSpyTriciaG – You’ll be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift-card and 5-book prize pack!

Only those in the US are eligible to win. Keep your eyes peeled for the winner announcement on August 19th!

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July 26, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

Hope For Bible Study Newbies (Who Want to Train their Kids Well)

I’m not sure I should admit this, but as much as I loved Women Living Well, I felt a twinge of jealousy as I read chapter two. Unexpected emotions rolled around in my gut as I read about how Courtney’s mother sat down with her in fourth grade and taught her how to have a quiet time. I almost couldn’t relate to the picture of a young Courtney, with blonde pigtails no less.

Spending time with God and receiving notes of encouragement from my mother wasn’t my story. My mother was great and we went to church, but I honestly can’t remember one time during my 4th-grade-year (or 5th, 6th, 7th…) sitting down with my Bible or even connecting with God beyond church or vacation Bible school.

I loved Jesus, I did. I grew up going to church, well mostly. My mother and grandmother both became Christians when I was in second grade. I remember the happy day when they were baptized, but I also remember the challenges that came as they tried to live out their faith.

God showed up! He met me. He taught me. He teaches me still… @TriciaGoyer

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When I was in fourth grade, my mother and grandmother had only been Christians a few years and everyone else in the family was still on a journey. (Some of those family members are journeying still.) We didn’t have Christian books around the house and Bible study wasn’t something I witnessed. Our lives centered around my parents’ friends and new movies on HBO–movies I’d sneak and watch through the crack in my bedroom door.

Why am I confessing this? Because even though my childhood didn’t look like Courtney’s, so much more of chapter two looks like my life. Like Courtney, I draw peace, hope, and nourishment from my time with God. As a mom of six children (three of them six-years-old and younger), I sneak out of bed early and PRAY–pray that no one wakes up too soon. I need God, and my day is so much better when I make time for Him.

Unlike Courtney, no one taught me how to have a quiet time. Instead, I figured it out myself as a pregnant teenager who’d just given her life to God. And you know what? God showed up! He met me. He taught me. He teaches me still…

(Read the rest of this article on Time-Warp Wife)

Prayer

Jesus, thank for guiding us and teaching us. On the days when it all seems so unfamiliar and overwhelming, you are there. Teach me to listen to your voice and absorb your teachings.

Let’s play a game!

Only those in the US are eligible to win. Keep your eyes peeled for the winner announcement on August 19th!

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October 19, 2012 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

“No Vacancy” Sign

I used to fight sin with all that was in me. I’d make goals for overcoming it. I’d pray and ask for strength. I’d talk about my struggles with my friends and seek their support. It was a very tiring business, but I knew that as a child of God I had to live a different way than I had before. I was a new creation.

While we should all do what we can to live righteous lives, I’ve found a better way.

The best way to avoid sin is to fill yourself up so completely with Jesus that when sin crouches at your door, there is a “No Vacancy” Sign.

Welcome Him.
Seek Him.
Enjoy Him.
Praise Him.
Read His Word.
Share His transforming power.
Ask Him to fill you from head to toe.
Take every thought captive and turn it over to Him.
Ask Him to shoulder Your burdens.
Follow His path.

Ask Him to fight your battles.
Trust Him to calm your fears.
Fill your soul with His presence.
Empower Him to guard your heart against sin.

Soon sin will have no room to abide because Jesus fills every crevice and corner of your life, mind, and heart.

sin

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

Further Resources:

God ASKED me to go back to my darkest place.

St. Patrick of Ireland

Additional Resources

Get the book here.

More Posts About Prayers that Changed History:

Hints for Unwinding Grave Clothes:

3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

50 Shades of Brokenness

No Explanation Needed

In the World, Not of It: Protecting Innocence

The thing is, as a kid, I didn’t know what to do with buds of the sinful desires that were also stirred up.

I don’t think I consciously made an effort to surrender my innocence.

We need to step out of our Christian circles and impact the world. I believe that.

Did protecting my kids’ innocence work? No and yes.

Protecting your child’s innocence may call you to higher standards for yourself.

Prayer

More Resources

The One Thing God Asks

Sometimes I’ve Felt Like My Heart Has Been Mangled With a Wire Brush.

While most writers might want our books to sell more, many writers are surprised by the challenges that come with that kind of success.

Prayer

Hope For Bible Study Newbies (Who Want to Train their Kids Well)

Prayer

The best way to avoid sin is to fill yourself up so completely with Jesus that when sin crouches at your door, there is a “No Vacancy” Sign.