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How to Homeschool in 13 Easy Steps

As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, I have learned a few tips and tricks. Here’s some practical advice for planning and scheduling your homeschool, including tips for meeting state requirements, scheduling heart training beyond book training, establishing routines, using whiteboards and planners, and finding time for vacations, celebrations, and life skills education.

 

How to Homeschool in 13 Easy Steps
As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, here are some tips for planning and scheduling your homeschooling!

As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, here are some tips for planning and scheduling your homeschooling!

Homeschooling your children can be a wonderful experience. Not only do you get to spend more time with them, but you can tailor your education to your children’s needs and interests. As a homeschooling mom of nearly three decades, here are some tips for planning and scheduling your homeschooling!

  1. Know and Follow Your State Requirements: Each state has different regulations for homeschooling, so make sure you know what your state requires. This will help you ensure that your children receive a proper education and that you follow the law.
  2. Schedule Heart Training Beyond Book Training: Homeschooling isn’t just about teaching your children academics. It’s also about training their hearts—scheduling time for character development, life skills, and other essential education areas beyond book learning.
  3. Big Picture Idea: Take some time to think about your overall goals for your children’s education. What do you want them to learn? What skills do you want them to develop? This will help you plan your curriculum and schedule your homeschool days.
  4. Plan Your Week: Once you have a big-picture idea, start planning your weekly schedule. Determine which subjects you’ll teach each day and for how long. Consider your children’s ages and abilities and any extracurricular activities or appointments.
  5. Teach Kids of Various Ages at the Same Time: Teaching kids of different ages simultaneously can be challenging, but it’s doable. One strategy is to teach your older children more challenging material while tailoring the same subjects into more manageable tasks for younger kids. Another method is to have your older children help “teach” your younger children.
  6. Discover That a Routine Is Your Friend: Kids thrive on routine. Establishing a pattern for your homeschool days can help your children feel more secure and make your days run more smoothly.
  7. Whiteboards, Calendars, and Planners: Use whiteboards, calendars, and planners to help you stay organized. Write down your schedule, your to-do list, and any critical dates.
  8. Morning Time and Read-Alouds: Many homeschooling families enjoy a “morning time” together to read and study. (Personally, this is one of my favorite parts of homeschooling!) This can be a great way to start your day and build family connections.
  9. When Life Goes Off Schedule: Life happens, and sometimes your homeschool days will go differently than planned. It’s essential to be flexible and to have a backup plan. Ensure you have some activities or lessons ready if you need to switch gears.
  10. Vacationing While Others Are in School: One of the benefits of homeschooling is that you can take vacations whenever you want. Consider taking trips during the off-season when prices are lower and crowds are smaller.
  11. Chores and Home Economics: Teaching your children life skills is essential to their education—schedule time for chores and home economics, such as cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
  12. Birthdays, Holidays, and Other Celebrations: Remember to schedule time for birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations. These are essential times to connect with your family and to make memories.
  13. Put Away Your Phone: When spending time with your children, put away your phone. Give them your undivided attention and show them they’re more important than your screen.

Remember to be flexible, adaptable, and open-minded, as homeschooling can be a challenging but ultimately rewarding journey. With a little bit of planning and organization, you can provide your children with an education that prepares them for a successful future and helps them grow into well-rounded individuals.

Homeschool Success Course

Are you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about your homeschooling journey? Do you wish you had a roadmap to help you navigate the challenges and achieve success? Look no further than Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course!

Tricia Goyer is a homeschooling expert with over 20 years of experience, and she has poured all of her knowledge and wisdom into this comprehensive course. In each video, Tricia shares practical tips and strategies for homeschooling, from choosing a curriculum to managing your time effectively.

With Homeschool Success, you’ll discover how to:

  • Create a customized curriculum that meets your family’s unique needs
  • Develop a daily routine that maximizes your time and energy
  • Cultivate a love of learning in your children and inspire them to reach their full potential
  • Foster a positive homeschooling environment that nurtures relationships and builds character
  • Navigate the challenges of homeschooling with confidence and grace

Tricia’s warm and engaging teaching style will leave you feeling empowered and equipped to tackle any homeschooling challenge that comes your way. You’ll also receive a workbook with actionable steps and reflection questions to help you apply your learning to your homeschooling journey.

Take advantage of this opportunity to learn from one of the most respected homeschooling experts in the industry. Enroll in Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course today and start your journey to homeschooling success!

Homeschool Success Course only $9
Purchase the course here.

  1. Homeschool Success Course only $9
    Homeschool Success Course only $9

    Purchase the course here.

    Additional Resources:

    A conversation with Jessica Smartt author of Let Them Be Kids
    The Tricia Goyer Show: Tina Hollenbeck, author of 8 Great Smarts for Homeschoolers

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Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

Chore Charts Can Curb Complaining

When we adopted our two sweet children, we sort of went into “survival” mode. Both children had emotional issues, and they need weekly behavioral therapy. Bella was enrolled in a therapy school, and Casey had physical, occupational, and speech therapy. I was spending hours and hours each day on the road. I was happy if I could somewhat maintain the house, and assigning chores to my kids wasn’t even on my radar.

Now, things are different. My kids have graduated from all their therapy programs. They are sweet, happy children. You’d never know that a not so long ago they had major issues. (Thank you, God!) But they are still kids and they have normal daily struggles just like any other child–or adult. One thing that helps keep our order from falling into chaos is chores.

With such a big family, it would be impossible to accomplish all the things we need to get done every day if we didn’t share the work. We believe that’s part of being a family–everyone works together to keep things running smoothly. So we taught our children how to be responsible for themselves and others by doing household chores.

This is how we got started:

First, I found a FREE printable chore chart here.

I printed up several BLANK copies of the chart so I could tailor them for my kids.

This website also gave me great ideas of what kids could do at different ages.

 

How to create a chore time routine for your kids: (@TriciaGoyer #Balanced)

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Here’s a sample list we started with:

Bella

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed
  • Set plates and cups for dinner
  • Match socks

Alyssa

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Sort laundry
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed
  • Set napkins and silverware for dinner

Casey

  • Pick up toys
  • Put laundry in hamper
  • Check mailbox
  • Take dishes to sink after meal
  • Make bed

As they have gotten older I’ve added more, but this was a great place to start!

If you’re just starting out with chores, know it might take a couple of weeks for your kids to get their chores down, but the work you put in now will be worth it. I saw this with my first round of kids. Just know that the more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later.

 

The more training you put in now will benefit your family’s teamwork later. @TriciaGoyer

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Teaching your children life skills doesn’t have to stop at folding laundry or picking up their things. When I realized that our family struggled with grumpiness and ungratefulness we embarked on a year-long journey to get grumble free. Find the book here and join us on the journey to gratitude and thankfulness in The Grumble Free Year!

Daily Prayer

Dear Lord,

Sometimes it’s so much easier just to do things myself than to train my children. Yet I know that so much of “today” is really about “tomorrow” and the men and women they will grow to be. Help me to be diligent, Lord, to teach them diligence. Help me to be faithful with my time, attention, home and resources, so my children will understand how to be faithful in all things you have so graciously given us.

In Jesus name, Amen.

 

 

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Don’t Give Up When Life Hurts ~ Suicide Awareness

Don't Give Up When Life Hurts ~ Suicide Awareness

Don’t Give Up When Life Hurts

In honor of World Suicide Awareness Day I wanted to share this story of hope with you. Suicide is a sensitive subject, I know. But with open dialog and continued awareness, we may someday end this epidemic.

A Darkened World

Kristen Anderson thought she had the picture-perfect life until strokes of gray dimmed her outlook on life. Once a happy child, Kristen’s world darkened after three friends and her grandmother died within two years. Still reeling from these losses, she was raped by a friend she thought she could trust. She soon spiraled into a depression that didn’t seem to have an end. Then, on a cold January night at the age of 17, Kristen attempted suicide by laying down on a set of railroad tracks near her parents’ home. She was run over by 33 freight train cars at 50 mph, and both of her legs were severed, but miraculously, she survived!

Kristen and I wrote her book Life, In Spite of Me a few years ago, and God has done some wonderful things in her life! She’s gotten married and has three beautiful children and one on the way. God continues to redeem her life. <click to tweet>

Don't Give Up When Life Hurts

Don’t Give Up When Life Hurts

When I thought about writing the book, I knew that if people would see how Kristen’s life did not remain in that dark place, they could have hope for their own journeys. My intentions were to help people “out there.” I had no idea that it would open up conversations within my own family.

When I first started working with Kristen on the book, I was intrigued. I’d seen Kristen on Oprah and I knew people were amazed by how she survived. I was amazed too. There were numerous times in the interviewing process that I thought, “This is a miracle.”

As with all books, I often share what I’m writing with my family. I remember one afternoon when I was driving and my sixteen-year-old daughter Leslie was with me. I was talking about Kristen and Leslie looked at me, sadness in her eyes. “Mom, I have to tell you, I’ve considered suicide before.”

I felt my breath escape me.

Tears sprang to my eyes. “What? When?”

Leslie went on to tell me it was when she was in junior high. She didn’t have many friends and felt shunned at church. Worse than that, the girl she considered her best friend teased her all the time, telling her she wasn’t pretty, wasn’t smart, and would never have a boyfriend. “I was so sad inside. I didn’t want to face that sadness anymore, but I didn’t take my life because I knew how much it would hurt you and dad.”

Over the next couple of days, Leslie and I continued to talk about how hard life seems sometimes.

We also talked about how easy it is to pretend everything’s fine when we’re really hurting inside.

It made me realize that as a mom there could be things my kids are struggling with that I have no clue about. How about you? Are there things you’re struggling with that your parents don’t know? I know it’s hard to share sometimes … but maybe you should tell them. It might be hard, but parents want to be there to help. They care.

When I talked with Kristen’s mom, Jan, during the process of writing the book, she told me she’d been worried about Kristen’s friends at the time, but not about her daughter.

“Kristen was the one everyone turned to for help. She seemed to be having a hard time, but I had no idea how bad it had gotten.”

I have to admit that when I was a teenager suicide crossed my mind, too, but I never took it seriously. While I was in high school, though, a friend of a friend did commit suicide after his girlfriend broke up with him. I remember how the whole community was saddened by this. We all wondered if there was more that we could have done to help him.

Maybe you’re wondering, how would I know if someone I love is considering suicide?

The best way is to keep the doors of communication open. If you see concerning signs in your loved one’s behavior don’t assume everything is ok. ASK THEM. Be open to hearing potentially upsetting comments and admissions from your children or spouse. Promise them–and yourself–right now–that you will listen without judgment and that you will take their feelings seriously.

Don’t Give Up When Life Hurts

Often just having someone to confide in and share our concerns with can help us work through feelings of grief or uncertainty. But sometimes, we need more. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and to help your child or husband find a good counselor who can help them work through the emotions and situations that are making them feel that suicide might be a solution.

Above all, don’t give up. Keep engaging with the one who is hurting. Give them extra time and love. Help them see the beauty and joy in every day and let them know that you are there for them–no matter what.

Here are some suicide warning signs:

  • appearing depressed or sad most of the time
  • having no hope for the future
  • Feeling hopeless, helpless, worthless, or trapped in a situation, and having excessive guilt or shame
  • talking or writing about death or suicide
  • withdrawing from family or friends
  • acting recklessly or impulsively
  • a change in personality, sleeping, or eating habits
  • decreased interest in most activities
  • dramatic mood changes
  • giving away prized possessions

You can connect with Kristen and her ministry, Reaching You, on Facebook! Below is a preview of the book so you can get started reading for free.

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How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

 

I get emails all the time from people asking how they can start a Teen MOPS group. Well, here’s some info.

How to start a Teen MOPS group:

  • If you’ve followed me for any time on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve heard me talk about Teen MOPS. Teen MOPS is a support group for teenage mothers. It’s part of MOPS International.
  • Basically Teen MOPS is a support group for our youngest moms. I started a Teen MOPS group in Kalispell, Montana, in 2000. After moving to Little Rock last year, I started a group here, too.
  • If you’d like to find out how to start a Teen MOPS group, go here.
  • Teen MOPS groups are run similarly to MOPS groups. There is food, a game, a short devotion, a speaker or activity, and discussion groups. Groups can meeting weekly or bi-weekly. Our group here in Little Rock runs weekly. We do this because it was hard for young moms to remember which week as “on” and which was “off.” Our meetings start at 6:30 with dinner. The meeting itself starts at 7:00 and ends at 8:30. (You can get a better idea about our meetings from the free curriculum that is mentioned below.) We have leaders’ meetings every other month.
  • Teen MOPS is run by volunteer leaders. They can be women with young kids or older kids. We’ve had volunteers that don’t have kids yet. Volunteers can be retired women or women in college. We even have high schoolers who help with child care and other needs we have. I got involved in Teen MOPS because I was a teen mom . . . but you don’t have to be a former teen mom to volunteer. Women who volunteer do so for various reasons. You just need to come to the meetings with an open heart and outstretched arms.
  • At our meetings we provide a dinner for our moms. We provide childcare and we have a “baby store.” Young moms earn MOPS dollars for coming, bringing a friend, going to doctor visits, etc. Every meeting they can take home diapers or clothes.
  • After I started a Teen MOPS group I realized there was a need for a book just for them. That’s why I wrote Teen Mom:You’re Stronger Than You Think.
  • I also wrote a leader handbook as well as a free companion workbook and group guide!
  • Contact MOPS International for information about a charter.
  • Talk to your church or a local crisis pregnancy about starting the group. Pick a meeting space.
  • Set a schedule and write out your mission and goals.
  • Talk to folks about volunteering. To get the word out I posted announcements in bulletins, talked on local Christian radio, and spoke at local groups. Local MOPS groups also give awesome help and support! I’ve gotten some great volunteers from these groups.
  • Get funding. Local churches can help. Small groups or other community groups can help too. (I run our group on less than $100 a month. We get people to donate food, donate childcare, donate doorprizes, etc. I also get folks to buy and donate copies of Life Interrupted to our group.)
  • Make a brochure and send it out. I send it to hospitals, doctors, social service agencies, schools, churches, etc.
  • Plan the meetings. Teen MOPS groups usually run on a school year schedule from September–May.
  • Advertise. Put up posters. Send press releases about your group to newspapers and community calendars.
  • Pray. (Actually pray with each step!)
  • Be patient. When Teen MOPS starts it may take a while to grow a group. We often start with two-to-five girls each meeting.
  • Love on the girls. You can plan and plan but your love is what will keep them coming back!
Interested in starting your own #TeenMOPS group? #teenpregnancy Get tips from @TriciaGoyer:

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Well, that’s a quick overview. Feel free to write me if you have other questions! It’s an amazing ministry. I’d love to see a Teen MOPS group in every town!

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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3 Questions To Ask Your Daughter About Dating {by Daniel Anderson}

3 Questions to Ask Your Daughter About Dating

My daughter decided not to kiss dating goodbye – and I was OK with that.

In 1997, Joshua Harris released I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Hundreds of thousands of Evangelicals read this book. It eventually sold more than a million copies and the language of “courtship” ensconced itself into 90’s/aught-era Christian speak. I was a youth pastor at the time and I, too, read Harris’ book. Like so many parents, Harris’ thinking fit nicely with my view of the world. Namely that there was a breed of human—the teenage boy—who would soon be out to get my little Jacquelyn. And furthermore, there was going to be no way I would let this happen.

For many Christian parents—particularly men—this is a familiar narrative. Like sentries on duty in wartime, we think it is the job of parents to keep boys away from our daughters. While well-intentioned, many Christians (including myself) used this book as further evidence that our daughters should offer an emphatic “NO!” to anything that looked like dating. In my family’s case, I pushed a belief on my daughter that she did not share. What I tried to do was control my daughter instead of talking with her. Rather than sowing understanding I was trying to cultivate compliance. This approach backfired. It merely pushed my daughter and her dating life underground

the-10-myths-of-teen-dating-hiIn my 20+ years as a school teacher, I’ve realized there are two approaches to our teenage daughters and their dating lives. The first is the, “I have a shotgun and am not afraid to use it” approach. While we joke about this approach, many, many Christian parents view dating this way. We really don’t want our daughters involved with boys and are willing to scare boys into not dating them. The second approach is
a laissez-faire approach. This is the “Don’t get pregnant or an STD” approach. For the non-Christian world, this is all too common. As long as a girl doesn’t get pregnant or an STD, then pretty much everything is permissible. Between these poles, I believe there is land in the middle that parents should stand on.

This land is one where parents teach rather than tell. It is a land where there is discussion and not directives. It is a place where compromise takes the place of compliance. In short, parents together with their daughters build a mutual understanding of what dating will look like. This is a very hard thing to do for many families. The fear that our daughters will make monumental mistakes clouds our thinking and judgment. As a result, we try to get our daughters to bend to our wishes.

There are 3 key questions that should be at the heart of any discussion around dating:

 

  1. What do you hope to get out of dating?
  2. What are boundaries you want to observe as you date?
  3. How will you date so that it won’t impact your future happiness?

Parents should talk these questions out with our daughters. Even if we aren’t 100% satisfied with the answers to these questions, they are the basis from which parents can instruct and discuss what dating might look like.

Seven years after botching the job with my oldest daughter, I was given another chance with my younger daughter. This time around I was more open to the idea of my daughter dating. Was I happy about it? Not really. My desire to protect my daughter was still strong. But instead of coercing her into my way of thinking, I was focused on allowing my daughter to be who she was. I let her explore the world of dating and relationships with input from her mother and me. I did not force her to go it alone because I insisted she kiss dating goodbye – even when she didn’t want to. I let my youngest daughter decided if she wanted to kiss dating goodbye and I’m OK with that.

3 questions to discuss with your teen about dating from Daniel Anderson via @triciagoyer

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{About Daniel Anderson}

 

dandersonDaniel Anderson is a former college All-American basketball player, an expert educator, and a father of two grown daughters and a son. As a veteran high school teacher in the public school system, Daniel was troubled by how his students approached dating and relationships. He and his daughter, Jacquelyn Anderson—a twenty something and also a high school teacher—decided to address this need by equipping parents with “The 10 Myths of Teen Dating,” their first book together. Daniel and Jacquelyn both make their home in Portland, Oregon.

Find out more about Daniel and Jacquelyn at thetenmythsofteendating.com.

 

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5 Reasons Your Teen Needs A Little Jesus Every Day

5-Reasons-Your-Teen-Needs-a-Little-Jesus-Everyday-1-694x1024

School is starting soon, and I’m looking forward to routine. One of those routines I love is having a morning devotional time with our teens. I love reading the Bible and great Christian books together. Why? Because just like me, my teens need a little bit of Jesus every day.

One book I’m looking forward to reading with my teens is, Jesus Today, Experience Hope Through His Presence by Sarah Young (the Teen version releases in October). If the  name sounds familiar, Sarah is the author of the popular book Jesus Calling. I love resources like this that include wonderful Scriptures and gives teens insight into a relationship with Jesus, which this book does.

Jesus Today Teen

So why do teens need a little Jesus everyday?

Teens need a mentors to model their life after. There is no one better for a teen to model their life after than Jesus. As they read about Jesus everyday they will learn what it means to be compassionate yet bold. They’ll see how relationship with Him, not religious pursuits, should be the focus of our lives.

Teens need hope, and hope is fully anchored in Jesus Christ. As Sarah writes in Jesus Today, “The more you put your hope in Me, the more My Love-Light shines upon you—brightening your day. Remember that I am with you continually and I Myself am your Hope!” This world doesn’t have much in the way of hope to offer, but Jesus does!

Stop by tommynelson.com to read the rest of this post!

Why do teens need a little Jesus everyday? @TriciaGoyer shares 5 reasons here:

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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MyCarDoesWhat.org | A FUN way to teach your child about car safety features!

mycardoeswhat

MyCarDoesWhat.org

 

A FUN way to teach your child about car safety features!

“We downloaded Dashboard Blitz, an app on car safety features and my 6-year-old and I had a blast playing it!” This isn’t a phrase I ever thought would cross my lips, but it did. And it’s true.

I’ve been thinking a lot about automobile safety ever since my 16-year-old daughter attended driver’s education. In Arkansas, where we live, driver’s education is not required, but in the Goyer household it is! I want my children to be as prepared as they can be before getting their driver’s license and heading out on the road.

I started talking to Maria about driver’s safety and care safety features as the days ticked down to when the training would start, but I never thought about preparing my kids even before that. What a concept!

Driving Safety 101

The world of driving safety is changing rapidly. New car safety technologies are being added to cars faster than any earlier generation. Even features that have been around for years are getting smarter. But how do these safety features work? When should they be used? How can they help me?

MyCarDoesWhat.org helps drivers answer these questions. MyCarDoesWhat is a national campaign to help educate drivers on new vehicle safety technologies designed to help prevent crashes.

The campaign’s website, MyCarDoesWhat.org, includes educational videos and other information about a variety of safety technologies including back-up cameras, blind spot monitoring systems, forward collision alerting and other systems that help drivers avoid or reduce the severity of a crash.

Fun Game!

Honestly isn’t not a huge priority for me to sit down and teach about car safety technologies. As a mom of ten kids I just don’t have time. (Who does?) That’s why this game is so GENIUS! I mean what kids doesn’t want to try out a new game?

Dashboard Blitz Title Screen

Dashboard Blitz is an Android and IOS app. You can find out more info here. I started playing it with my 6 year old and we played together. Then, my 11 year old wanted to try it out. She’s asked to play it again many times!

Here’s how the game works:

You’ve been tasked to run the world’s most advanced auto expo. Here, visitors can try out simulators with the latest in car safety technology – from blind spot monitors to back-up cameras and more.

Along the way, you’ll score sweet upgrades, new safety features and rise to the top of the auto expo circuit!

The best part of the game is the knowledge that it gives kids about car safety features. When we are in the car they are more aware of the safety technology. “Mom, that’s your back up camera, cool!” and “Did you just use your anti-lock brakes when you stopped?”

In addition to knowledge they gleaned my kids really had fun with it. They were able to touch and move the objects and scroll through the screen. The game increases difficulty with each level and they gain points, buy upgrades and had to move quickly to keep up.

What are you waiting for?

Download the game and have your kids try it out! Not only is it fun they’ll learn a lot, too! And the sooner they start learning the safer they will be when they finally get on the road … which is something every parent wants!

New car safety game for kids & adults alike! Play #DashboardBlitz today http://vrl.ht/iOSBlitz

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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5 Things Your Daughter Should Know About Chasing Boys {by Kari Kampakis}

I love reading aloud to my older girls, and this year I came upon a book that we all loved! 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know by Kari Kampakis was one of our favorite reads of the year. I loved it so much that I asked Kari to write a guest post for my blog. 5 things your daughter should know about chasing boys. If you have a preteen or teen girls you don’t want to miss this book!

Kari Kampakis was one of our favorite reads of the year. I loved it so much that I asked Kari to write a guest post for my blog. 5 things your daughter should know about chasing boys.

 

There are certain things in life worth waiting for.

A really awesome guy is one of them.

Unfortunately, our world has devalued the art of waiting. We want our heart’s desire now. And for teenage girls eager to fall in love, that eagerness can get the best of them. They may chase the boys they like instead of waiting for the right boys to chase them – and then wonder why their relationships are empty, short, and shallow.

If you have a daughter (I have four!) it may frustrate you to see the new breed of aggressive females being cultivated by our society. They are bold and forward in interacting with the opposite sex. They text boys constantly and seek attention in all the wrong ways.

The world tells girls it’s empowering to take charge and make advances on males, but I believe it hurts them. It can lead girls to lower their standards and behave in ways that make them look bad and, ultimately, feel bad about themselves.

Chasing boys can also make boys run the other way. One thing I hear often from moms of boys is how quickly their sons lose interest when a girl is pushy or constantly checking in. They don’t like it and usually aren’t sure what to do with the excessive attention.

If you’re like me and my husband, and you want your daughter to buck the rising trend of girls chasing boys, here are five talking points to start a conversation with her.

 

1) You were made to chase your dreams, not boys.

 

You are so talented, sweet girl! You are smart, energetic, and equipped to change the world with your God-given gifts.

So rather than chasing boys and making a boy the center of your universe, keep God at the center. Listen to His call and pursue the passions He plants in your heart. The right boy will show up at the right time. God will make sure of that!

You don’t need a boyfriend to make your life great. You build a great life for yourself by cultivating strong relationships with family and friends, developing your potential, and living out your purpose.

When you find fulfillment before a boy ever enters the picture, you become the kind of girl who lives with such joy and peace that the right guys will inevitably take notice and think, “Wow. She’s cool. I want to know her better. I want more of what she has.”

 

2) The way a relationship begins sets the tone.

 

So if you start in a role reversal, catching your heart’s desire by chasing him, expect to continue taking the lead. A boyfriend who had to be hunted down is very unlikely to court you, plan special dates, and initiate contact. Rather than being smitten, he’ll probably be passive and lukewarm in his feelings toward you.

Girls often complain about boys being lazy daters, but in this day and age, they can be lazy. Why ask girls out when girls will ask them? Why make dinner reservations when your girlfriend agrees to meet up with friends and count it as a “date”?

If you want a boy to court you, let him work a little. Set reasonable standards that require some effort. If he wants a date, have him pick you up and meet your parents. If he waits until Friday afternoon to ask you out for Friday night, keep your plans with friends and suggest he plan ahead next time.

Am I saying it’s wrong to speak or interact with boys? Of course not. I think it’s fine to initiate conversation, smile, make eye contact, and express enough interest to let a boy know you’re interested once you’re of dating age. If he calls first, call him back. If he texts you, text him back. But don’t be desperate or make the common mistake of building your life around a boy. Besides hurting your relationship, it holds you back from achieving your own goals and pursuing your interests.

A guy worth having will rise to the challenge. He’ll figure out quickly how to improve his chances with you and find ways to spend time together.

 

3) Chasing boys might capture their attention, but it won’t capture their heart.

 

God created you to guard your heart, not freely give it away to every boy who comes and goes. Chasing boys might make them notice you, but it won’t make them love you. It might lead to dates, but probably not healthy long-term relationships.

God wired boys to be the pursuer, not the pursued. He wants them to take the lead because it cultivates them into young men and prepares them for their future role as husbands, providers, and leaders of the home. You aren’t doing boys a favor by taking the risk of rejection off them; if anything; you’re depriving them of an experience that helps them grow up and mature.

There is something attractive and desirable to a boy about a girl who is humble and confident yet not aggressive. That is the kind of girl the good guys – the protectors, not the predators – are most likely to be interested in.

 

4) The best way to approach boys is as potential friends, not potential boyfriends.

 

My goal with my daughters is to teach them how to be good friends with boys. If you master the art of friendship with the opposite sex, I believe the right romances will follow.

In dating and marriage, friendship is essential. It’s the glue that holds a couple together when times get hard and the fireworks fade. When chasing boys, girls skip over friendship and plunge straight into passion. But passion without friendship won’t last. Passion without friendship makes a girl (and a guy) easy to replace once the novelty and excitement die down.

Seeing boys as prizes to be won – rather than friends to be made – makes you feel the need to impress them. And the harder you try to impress someone, the less you are yourself. This will make you come across as fake, and as my husband tells our daughters, who wants to date an imposter? What boy will be interested in dating a girl who isn’t comfortable being herself?

The better approach is to focus on friendship first, even when you have a crush. Let boys see the real you. Friendship offers a safe way to get to know each other, and if the chemistry does exist, the romance can evolve naturally from there.

 

5) The right guy won’t need to be chased. Give it time and he’ll come after you.

 

Right now, God is working on you and your peers. He’s orchestrating big changes from one birthday to the next, giving you big bodies, big emotions, and big thoughts to grow into. The teen years bring major transformation, and if you compare a 13-year-old with an 18-year-old, you’ll notice how much can happen in a relatively short time.

The boy you’ll eventually date or marry may not be ready for you yet. You may not be ready for him. Only time and maturity can bring you both to a place where you’re ready to give your heart fully and jump into a serious relationship.

In the meantime, have fun. Develop strong friendships with boys who make you laugh and feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with people who bring out your best, and bring out the best in others. Most importantly, grow your relationship with God. Get to know Him so well that when the right guy comes along, you’ll recognize God’s voice telling you this is the guy worth waiting for.

Find out 5 things your daughter should know about chasing boys from @KariKampakis

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As for us parents, let’s recognize the trends of today’s dating scene and understand how hard it may be for girls to wait for boys when it seems like all the girls getting dates do not.

Our daughters are better than the lifestyle this world ubiquitously pushes on them. They shouldn’t have to compromise their values to win a boy over. And what every girl must believe is that she is worth the wait. She is a great catch. She has a lot to offer to anyone smart enough to notice.

In matters of the heart, patience pays off. My prayer for my daughters and yours is that they learn to love their lives regardless of what their love lives bring. The guys worth knowing will show up at the right time, and until that day comes, there’s still plenty of fun to be had, dreams to be chased, and friendships to be made.

 

You might also like:

Praying for your future husband

Have you ever thought about praying for your future husband? Will it make a difference? There’s only one way to find out…

From when we were small girls, most of us dream of “The One,” our future husband. We think about what it would be like to be a bride. We wonder who that special guy is and when we’ll find him. The great news is that what you do now can make a difference in your life and the life of your future husband!

Authors and good friends Robin Jones Gunn (Christy Miller series) and Tricia Goyer (author and former teen mom) believe God answers women’s prayers for husbands—even husbands they may not meet for years. They invite young women to pray boldly for their future mate … while also asking God to prepare their own hearts.  Check out Praying For Your Future Husband.

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Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a mom of four girls, as well as an author, speaker, and blogger from Birmingham, Alabama. Her newest book for teen & tween girls, LIKED: WHOSE APPROVAL ARE YOU LIVING FOR?, releases November 2016 and is available for pre-order now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Christianbook.com.

Kari is also the author of 10 ULTIMATE TRUTHS GIRLS SHOULD KNOW, and has has been featured on national platforms like The Huffington Post and TODAY Parents. Learn more by visiting www.karikampakis.com or connecting with Kari on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Pinterest.

 

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Teaching Teens To Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

Teaching-Teens-to-be-Comfortable-with-Being-Uncomfortable-650x1024

As a mom of ten kids I’ve been though every stage (a few times!), and I have to say that the hardest, most confusing time for girls is the pre-teen and teen years. Between ages 12-16 girls’ bodies are changing, their emotions are charged, and on a scale from 1-10 their desire for peer approval is an 11.5!

All the lessons that little girls soaked in during quiet time devotions about their value, worth and beauty dissipate as soon as they turn teen and walk into a group setting and have a half-dozen sets of eyes fixed on them.

The truth is that there are multiple situations a day when teen girls have to deal with going with the crowd or choosing a different way and feeling uncomfortable and awkward. We raise our teens to be different than the world but being different is painful for girls who want to fit in!

I love what Kari Kampakis says in her book, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know:

“It’s not a matter of if you’ll be pressured, but when. People will push you as far as you let them. Unless you establish parameters now, you’ll be talked into things against your better judgment.”

10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know

The good news is that parents can help! In addition to reading through 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know (which I recommend!), here are other ways parents can help. The advice below came from my mom friends. Feel free to use these as conversation starters for your teen girl.

Lea Anne: I try to emphasize more how uncomfortable the consequences are of doing wrong. That way these tough conversations or awkward ‘no’s’ seem like a positive step for their own safety and well-being.

Tina Marie: Even though it’s hard to stand up for yourself and not follow your peers, it is okay to stand up for what you feel is best for you and or right for you. It is okay to be different than them. If your friends are your true friends they will stick by you in the choice you make for yourself.

It is hard to see the consequences at the time of the wrong, but try not to rush into quick decisions. Wait till the last minute to give your answer, call your parents and talk it out with them. If allowed come up with your own group get-together that’s safe for all.

Read the rest of this post at tommynelson.com.

How to talk to your teen about being comfortable with being uncomfortable! @TriciaGoyer

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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86 Creative Activities for Pre-Teens & Teens {Plus Printable!}

86 Creative Activities for Pre-Teens & Teens {Plus Printable!}

Tricia Goyer shares 86 Creative Activities for Pre-Teens & Teens {Plus Printable!} If you're tired of hearing the words, “I'm bored" ...

 

If you’re a mom, you’ve probably already heard the words, “I’m bored.” As a mom of pre-teens and teens it’s easy to give in to electric devices to entertain kids. It’s harder to come up with creative ways for them to keep themselves occupied. Well, I’ve found lots of things kids can do to pass time and stay entertained. Here are 86 of them!

 

86 Creative Activities for Pre-Teens & Teens {Plus Printable!}

 

  • Paint with Watercolors

I recently started painting with watercolors and I love it! I’ve been experimenting with several different paints and brushes. You can find my favorites here: Tricia’s Favorite Watercolor Supplies

 

Creative Activities for Pre-Teens

  • Bake cookies

  • Collect leaves and rocks

  • Work on a puzzle

  • Study the Bible

  • Practice photography

    Creative Activities for Pre-Teens

 

  • Work on learning a new language

  • Play a board game

  • Memorize a Scripture verse

  • Create an art journal

  • Make play dough

  • Create chalk drawings outside

  • Pack a picnic

  • Make puppets

  • Work with beads

  • Train a dog

    Creative Activities for Pre-Teens

 

  • Exercise

  • Ride a bike

  • Try a new hairstyle

  • Paint your nails

  • Make a cake

  • Look through a cookbook (pick out things to make and make a shopping list!)

  • Play with marbles

  • Water the flowers and weed the flower beds

  • Draw a self-portrait

  • Create a treasure hunt with clues for your parents and/or siblings

  • Write in your journal (see more below about this!)

 

Creative Activities for Pre-Teens

 

  • Work on a short story or novel

  • Interview a parent or sibling

  • Tie-dye a shirt

  • Make ice cream

  • Observe objects in your microscope

  • Paint rocks

  • Plan a scavenger hunt

  • Crochet

  • Sew

My girls had fun learning to sew this spring. We made aprons for each of them. It was a fun activity that taught them a valuable life-skill in the process. Now they are more than capable of sewing projects on their own or even mending clothing.

 

Creative Activities for Pre-TeensCreative Activities for Pre-Teens86 Creative Activities for Pre-Teens & Teens {Plus Printable!}

 

  • Make a duct tape rose

  • Have a relay race

  • Play hangman

  • Run through the sprinklers

  • Play with bubbles

  • Play with Legos

  • Do a science experiment

  • Sing songs with a sibling

  • Play catch

The 2 words parents dread, “I’m bored!” @TriciaGoyer has a solution here:

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Download the printable below for the full list of activities!

Creative Activities for Pre-Teens

 

And more!

My Stay Home Journals Help Kids Focus on Good Things!

My stayhome journal

 

Kids need a place to think, write, or draw what is going on in their hearts and minds so I created these journals to provide kids a special place to record their experiences. I like the sound of “stay home.” It’s a way to focus on the good during a hard time. It’s a great way to help your kids think about what good things may be happening during this time and what they are looking forward to when it’s “safe” for us to return to normal life.

The pages are set up so older kids can write their thoughts (writing practice!) and younger kids can draw their thoughts or have a parent write for them. Need inspiration? Check your Facebook or personal calendar to help think about what your family was doing at certain points on the timeline. I made the insides colored as well so these can be special keepsakes of this great pause in our history.
I’ve designed several styles so every child can have a journal that makes them feel special.
  My stayhome journal

You can find all the journals I’ve created here: Stay Home Journals

I even created a FREE printable version. Feel free to share with a teacher or someone who might need it.

Free Stay Home Journal

https://bit.ly/freejournalforkids

My stayhome journal

 

 

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Preparing Your Teen and Finances for College {Plus a Giveaway}

college prep
I’ve been homeschooling for more than twenty-five years with, so far, two college graduates and one child in the process. Overall, my kids thrived in college. They got good grades, made good friends, and blossomed into godly adults. They all went to secular local and state colleges, yet their relationship with God grew.

Do you have a teen about to head to college (or maybe you’ve just started your parenting journey and are looking to prep and save for your child’s future education)? Here are some tips for preparing them and your finances:

As parents, be involved.

John and I loved having teens. We had dinner nightly with them, we served in church together, and we curated long, meaningful talks. To do this, we had to be open, available, and involved. We cut back on our personal recreation, work, and goals to have time with them. This prepared our children’s hearts by proving they were worthy. They had the attention of their parents and didn’t seek it from unhealthy relationships in college.

Have an open-door policy.

Our house was open for our teens’ friends to join us for dinner, for games, or for just hanging out. We made sure our house was teen-friendly, and we filled the fridge and pantry with snacks. Sometimes their friends came to hang out even when our kids weren’t there! Our children had solid friendships with other godly teens when they entered college; this foundation allowed them to be friends with unbelievers, too, yet also remain strong in God.

Encourage a knowledge of God’s Word and a deep commitment to God.

Our children were not perfect in college. They messed up (such as when our daughter performed in a theater production we considered questionable!). When they didn’t want to listen to our advice, God’s Spirit and God’s Word spoke to them. When my husband and I couldn’t get their attention, God did! Their relationships with God pointed them to truth for college and beyond!

Start saving now.

If you haven’t started a college savings yet, don’t worry. It’s never too late to save—every bit makes a difference. If you didn’t get around to establishing a college savings account early on, you’re not alone. Only 48 percent of parents surveyed are saving for their child’s education, according to Sallie Mae’s “How America Saves for College 2015” report. You can still maximize your investment toward your child’s college education, even if the college-bound kid is a high school senior already.

Need a few ideas to get started? Here are just a few tips from ECCU: 

—Consider using auto-deposit services to save. ECCU likes to call this strategy, “auto-magic.”

—Encourage your college-bound youth to find a part-time job and invest the paycheck into a high-yield savings account with built-in perks, such as free online banking and transfers, and an interest rate above the national average. 

—Money market savings accounts are a smart choice for college savings – they offer better rates for higher balances. High yield promotional certificates with guaranteed rates are good for saving money that you do not need to access for several years down the road.

—Don’t be discouraged if you can’t foot the entire college bill. Even if you choose to set aside funds to cover tuition for one or two semesters, or textbooks for an entire year … every dollar you save will help your aspiring college graduate!

About ECCU

Screen Shot 2015-05-22 at 11.53.21 AMMost people already know the benefits of credit unions, such as customer ownership, fewer fees and higher savings rates. However, there is a segment of credit unions that continue to fly under the financial radar: Affinity-based banking—the intersection of faith and financial planning.

For most of its 50-year history, ECCU has been known for offering churches, Christian schools and other Evangelical nonprofits and ministries with specialized financial services. Now, ECCU also offers personal financial services:

—Personal savings account: a basic savings account for an emergency fund or savings for your kids that’s only $25 to open and has a 0.35% APY2 with no minimum balance.

—Money Market Savings account: a great opportunity to earn a higher rate (up to 0.95% APY2 on higher balances. This direct savings account—also called an online savings account—appeals to on-the-go consumers who prefer to be able to manage their lives online.

—Consumers can get these great rates because ECCU is largely an online bank.

Simple Math: Your savings + ECCU = More Ministry

With ECCU, your money does more than earn a good interest rate for you. It helps fuel Christ-centered ministry worldwide by providing loans to churches and low-cost banking services to missionaries and Christian organizations. Together, you + ECCU = supporting and resourcing more ministry.

What about you? In what ways are you preparing your teens’ hearts and your finances for college?

Kickstart your college savings with this giveaway from @eccu

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GIVEAWAY: Need to kickstart your college savings?

Enter ECCU’s #ECCU4school giveaway below and you could win $1,000!

The contest runs from May 19  – June 19, 2015. The qualified winner must open an ECCU Money Market Savings account where the $1,000 will be deposited. Click here for official rules: http://bit.ly/ECCU4U

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*Thanks for ECCU for sponsoring this post. All opinions are my own. Thank you for supporting all Tricia Goyer collaborations and sponsors.  

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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