women

October 2, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

The Best You: Following God’s Plan for Your Life

Have you ever compared yourself with other women–other moms or co-workers–and felt like you didn’t match up? (Guilty).

We call it the comparison game, but in the end, we are the big losers.

Do you feel discouraged? Do you see others having success at all levels and wonder when it will be your turn? Are you ready to fold your cards and walk away?

We all know we are special creations, unique and precious to God. Yet why do we struggle with comparing our lives, our bodies, our kids, and our talents (or lack of talents) with others?

Why do we feel as if we keep passing GO, but we never get that $200?

I often do this with my writing. I find myself comparing my success with others. I look at the bestseller list with longing. I consider the “big” advances and media fan-fare some authors receive, and then I sigh.

I do this with myself. I compare my talents, my disciple, and I especially compare my body. How come my friend can eat anything she wants and stay slim? Why do I have to walk and watch what I eat just to maintain? These thoughts aren’t a game, either. They lock me up tight and keep me from caring for and rejoicing with others.

I do this with so many areas of my life. I wonder why the hard stuff comes. I wonder why struggles come my way. Why aren’t my dreams coming true?

In reality, we (me included) need to look past who I “dream” to be and consider God’s dreams instead. God not only knows the game and the rules, He is able to give us the perfect strategies to win … if we just focus on Him, and His plan.

“God-of-the-Angel-Armies speaks: ‘Exactly as I planned, it will happen. Following my blueprints, it will take shape,” says Isaiah 14:24 (The Message).

The word “planned” here is translated “compare.” It’s as if God has weighed the different possibilities, looked at them from all angles, and then chose the best way. He makes the blueprints . . . then He constructs them into our reality.

God creates our game of LIFE. He stacks the cards so that when we turn to Him, we’ll always win.

The life we have is the one constructed for us. It’s not the life, body, health, or circumstances we wished we’d had (or hope to having in the coming year). Or the perfect life we can never obtain. But the blueprints and the form He is transforming into reality.

“Remember your history, your long and rich history. I am God, the only God you’ve had or ever will have—from the beginning telling you what the ending will be, all along letting you in on what is going to happen, amazing you,” we read in Isaiah 46:10-11. “I’m in this for the long haul, I’ll do exactly what I set out to do.” (The Message)

It’s OK to have longings and life goals.

No one can get through life without comparing, but even before we worry about what we desire for our lives, the first step is to not let our dreams motivate us, but instead let His.

God has longings for us even greater than we imagine, and He’s willing to tell us these things as we seek Him out. He knows that comparisons will not get us far, but focusing our eyes on the eternal prize will.

Will you put God’s desires for you above your own? Will you seek Him today? Pray. Open your heart. And dare to listen to God’s dreams for you. Ask God to show you what He wants for you. There is no comparison in His love for you!

Additional Resources

You’ve heard the phrase Trust God. It’s easy to say but can be hard to do. But what if you did it. What if you did the things that God asked you to do and solely relied on Him? Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still feel empty and unfilled. Bestselling author Tricia Goyer has been where you are. She gets it and knows that the only way to live a fulfilling life is to walk it out with God.

Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time is a resource that teaches women how walking out the mandates of Scripture will allow God to spark passion and mission within them. Goyer teaches women, of all ages, how to:

1. Use your healed heart to love and serve
Create space and craft purpose
Give generously without question
Be vulnerable
Truly love your family
Do the work that God has given you to do

This book is for women:

struggling with anxiety or depression
feeling like they lost their way and are living by comparison
who feel like they’re never enough and always too much
searching for ways to develop a closer relationship with God
raising families while facing crossroads

Sometimes the steps we take in our faith are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Get your copy of Walk It Out today!

August 21, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins? I used to feel the same way. Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame, but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down, I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene, I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together. Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things:

In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love – not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that; discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

Further Resources:

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

August 7, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

I hate to say it, but back-to-school expenses are coming. Summer has been flying by and, depending on where you are, the school year is quickly creeping up on us. Here in Georgia, school started the first week of August!

I know for me, last year was hard. Maybe that was because it was the first school year for our family of five–I wasn’t exactly sure how to budget for it. Or maybe it was because there really are so many various and unexpected school-related expenses that happen during the year.

That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you have at least $100 of wiggle room in your budget each month for the school year and especially back-to-school expenses. I know that sounds like a lot of money (and it definitely is.) However, chances are, when you look back over last year’s budget, you’ll notice that you come very close if not over the $100 a month for all those last-minute purchases.

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

Here are just a few ways that can hopefully help you figure out how to find an extra $100 (or more!) in your monthly budget for back-to-school expenses:

1. Cell Phones

Regardless if it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family on your phone plan, paying for cell service can be a little crazy. That’s why if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you switch over to a company like Republic Wireless (who I personally use) or Ting (several of my friends use them and love them).

You still get to have an awesome smartphone but without the high cell phone bill (mine is only $25/mo with data!).

2. Insurance

Yeah, I know, you don’t want to talk about this subject because it’s one of those “necessary evils.” However, if you haven’t called around lately to gather new quotes for your different insurance needs, I highly suggest you do. You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year just from a simple phone call.

3. Subscription Services

It’s happened to me before. I completely forget that I have a subscription service deducting money from my bank account. It’s like I put it on autopilot and fail to evaluate if it’s a necessary expense or not.

The next thing to do is check for any recurring subscriptions, maybe now is the time to evaluate if they are still necessary. Spend a little time going through and canceling the unnecessary ones. This should add a little more wiggle room to your budget for those back-to-school expenses.

4. Be Inconvenienced

I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, we are just paying way too much for convenience. It’s possible that if we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced, we could save $1,000’s of dollars a year!

One of my favorite ways to be inconvenienced is by not using paper towels. A few years ago, we switched from using paper towels regularly to using bar mop cloths. That one small change has resulted in saving us hundreds over the years! We only have to buy one roll of paper towels twice a year (for draining meats like bacon or ground beef.) Honestly, it has affected us very little.

So, look around your home and find little ways that you could save money by simply being “inconvenienced.” You could end up adding a whole lot more to your school budget than just a $100 a month!

What to Do with Your Savings

Those are just a few ways that you can cut your expenses before the start of the school year. But the key to not going broke this school year is to remember that once you add that wiggle room to your budget, as a result, you must make sure that you add a line item accounting for that.

For instance, let’s say you cut your cell phone bill from $100 to $30 a month (yes, that’s totally possible with Republic Wireless or Ting.) Now you have $70 of wiggle room in your budget that must be accounted for.

Now you’d want to add a line item like “School Miscellaneous” or something with $70 as the total.

Example:

Mortgage: $1,000
Utilities: $200
Car Payment: $400
Insurance: $150
Cell Phone: $30
Groceries: $500
School Miscellaneous: $70

Then whenever those random, “Hey we need each child to bring in a snack for our upcoming event on Thursday” happens, you’ll have the money ready to go in your budget. Just make sure that you account for that expense and deduct the total from your category for back-to-school expenses.

Hopefully, this helps you if you’re getting geared up for the back-to-school season. Even if this isn’t a stage of life you’re currently dealing with, send this onto a friend that is in this season to give them a boost!

What is a piece of advice that you could offer someone else for not going broke during the school year?

{More about Jessi Fearon}

Jessi Fearon is the founder of the popular personal finance blog, Real Life on a Budget, where she shares her family’s real-life on a budget in order to inspire others to learn how to manage their money better. Jessi’s work has been featured on Buzzfeed, Rockstar Finance, TIME/Motto Magazine, Money Saving Mom, and The Penny Hoarder. Jessi resides in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia with her husband Pat and their three children Conner, Collin, and Charlotte and a rescue dog named Belle.

Additional Resources

How to Avoid Going Broke This School Year
Saving Money with Groupon Coupons
7 Tips for Living on $7 a Day
Restoring the Art of the Piggy Bank Savings
30 Cheap & Fun Date Night Ideas

July 17, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

As a writer, I know all about creativity. I know how essential it is to be creative. I know how fun it can be. I also know what it’s like to be at a loss for creativity. Even as a mom, creativity is important. Combine the needed creativity for being both a mom and a writer . . . well, it’s tough to come by.

When there are people and paperwork and piles to manage…
When I look around my house and see the walls that need to be painted and the cupboards that should be organized…
When my inbox is cluttered with notes I need to answer about work stuff and volunteer stuff…
When output is more than input…
…my creativity well often runs dry.

What can you do when you need an extra “spark” of inspiration?

Here are a few things I do.

Call a funny friend.

Sit outside. Breathe in fresh air.

Listen to birds sing. Watch busy ants.

Open a book of poetry or rent an audio book of poetry from the library. Absorb the symbolism and fresh word combinations.

Open a cookbook to a random page, then go shopping for the needed ingredients. (And then cook it!)

Go to YouTube.com and watch old dance numbers like this one.

Visit Etsy and take their taste test. This is one of my favorites. I love the fresh colors, textures, and ideas.

Play with Visuwords. Follow word trails and see where they lead you.

Have a visual feast on iStock Photo. (It’s also a great place for gathering inspiration for novel settings and characters or blog ideas.)

Pray and thank God for His creativity. Thank Him for your favorite places, people, tastes, and the beauty of nature.

Read your favorite Bible verses in a translation or paragraph you normally don’t read. Here is my favorite Bible verse in The Message (Zephaniah 3:17): “Don’t be afraid. Dear Zion, don’t despair. Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.”

Write a greeting card verse and e-mail it to a special person. Or better yet, browse creative sites (like MarthaStewart.com) for card ideas and make your own.

Sometimes what we need is simply a break in our day from the mundane tasks of life.

These tips are perfect for breaking up a routine. Who knows? You might end up inspired to finish writing that blog or to tackle that inbox.

Prayer

God, thank you for being the source of all creativity. Allow today to be inspired with fresh ideas and new creativity.

Looking for More Ways to Get Creative?

Check out my book Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom!

More Resources

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger

Creativity by Matthew Fox

Creative Block: Get Unstuck, Discover New Ideas. Advice & Projects from 50 Successful Artists by Danielle Krysa

Creativity Workout: 62 Exercises to Unlock Your Most Creative Ideas by Edward De Bono

May 1, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 12 Comments

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

As a homeschooling mom, I’ve had kids at home for 32 years. This means noisy days, busy days, and these kids-are-giving-me-a-headache days.

I’ve been homeschooling for 28 years and still have another seven years to go! Does that seem overwhelming? It would have been if I hadn’t discovered something amazing: JOY!

Over the last year, God has spoken to my heart and encouraged me to find joy in everyday living.

Joy, even though the laundry is piled high.

Joy, even though the kids are cranky.

Joy when work deadlines are pressed.

Joy when I have a headache when my feet hurt, and when I just want a nap. (Which happens often!)

But how do you find joy in your day?

Here are 6 ways … and a Scripture verse for each!

1. Thank God for each new morning.

A thankful heart goes a long way. Daily when I wake God, instead of looking at everything I have to do, I thank him for who I am and what I have.

Thank you, God, that I’m your daughter, and I have a place in your eternal home.

Thank you, God, that I’m a wife and mother.

Thank you, God, for the pile of laundry and all the clothes you’ve provided for us.

Thank you, God, for the dishes still in the sink from last night. We went to bed with full bellies.

2. Turn on worship music.

I love listening to worship music as I read my Bible and journal in the morning. I put on popular Christian songs as we homeschool. I also listen to Christian music as I write. I love using apps like Spotify or Amazon Prime Music to help me find great music. I also sing along! Singing songs of joy helps sorrows (and frustrations) to disappear!

3. Ask God to remind me what His kingdom is all about.

In life, I want to be comfortable. I want my house to be Pinterest-worthy. I want my kids to shine. But when I think about God’s kingdom, He helps me understand Kingdom Work. Opening my door to neighbors. Sharing God’s truth with young moms. Calling a friend who’s going through a hard time. Playing a board game with my kids instead of putting away the laundry. The Kingdom is about people and hearts–not tasks!

4. Seek the Holy Spirit.

When did I ever start thinking that I have to handle life alone? God has given us His Holy Spirit to fill, work through, and give us peace. Stopping to pray and ask for God’s Holy Spirit to help me makes a huge difference. The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none.

The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none. @TriciaGoyer

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5. Join the kids in praising God.

The best thing about having three little kids is that they LOVE to praise God. We have “Jesus dance parties” often. We put on kids praise song, clap our hands and dance and sing. They love it, and seeing their joy makes me more joyful.

6. Thank God for troubles.

The honest truth is that without troubles, I wouldn’t need God. If everything went smoothly in life I wouldn’t pray or praise as often. When I thank God for troubles, I remind myself that He has everything in control. As the Scriptures say, troubles are an opportunity for joy!

I hope you print and use these Scriptures in your day. I’ve found them very helpful.

Download here.

How about you? What do you do to find joy in your day? What’s your favorite Scripture about joy?

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, today I pray for my friend. I pray that she may find joy in you. I pray that Your Word will draw her heart to you. I thank you for your Holy Spirit that can plant joy deep in our hearts, even when there are struggles all around.

More Resources

14 Ways to Create a Joyful Family
How to Joyfully Share a Life
3 Ways to Lose Guilt and Find Joy
Heart Happy by Tricia Goyer
When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy by John Piper
A Faith That Will Not Fail by Dan Lord

September 18, 2019 by Christen Krumm Leave a Comment

Little Foxes (and One Big One) that Can Destroy a Marriage | Sharon Jaynes

Little Foxes (and One Big One) that Can Destroy a Marriage

I was going through a drawer at my mom’s house, looking for a scratch pad, when I came across a small vinyl record. It was in a cardboard sleeve dated 1950. My dad made the record for my mom when he was in the Korean War—the first year they were married.

He talked about how much he loved her, couldn’t wait to be with her again, and how much he missed her. There was so much emotion in his voice, I could hear it crack. I listened to the scratchy recording slack-jawed. How in the world did this happen? I thought. How did this couple who obviously loved each other in the beginning, end up having such a terrible relationship filled with violent arguing and months of silent passive aggression?

From my earliest remembrance, I didn’t think my parents liked each other, much less loved each other. I spent many nights hiding in a closet with my hands over my ears to shut out the yelling. But apparently, they didn’t start out that way.

How did that happen?

How does that happen?

In the Song of Solomon, Solomon prayed that he and his Shulammite would watch out for the “little foxes” that could sneak in and sabotage the blooming vineyard of their love. (Song 2:15). But just as those foxes can sneak in and ruin a blooming relationship, they can also sneak in and wreck a mature marriage.

Little foxes are anything or anyone that can creep in and weaken a marriage. If they aren’t dealt with, little foxes become big foxes with fangs of disappoint and claws of resentment.

The list of little foxes is extensive

Yet, it can be different for every couple. One that is common for all of us is the tendency toward apathy and indifference. What the Song of Solomon shows us that indifference can happen, it did happen, and it can be avoided.

In the first two chapters of the Song of Solomon, the Shulammite, or female character, is head over heels with her man and can’t wait until they’re married. The book even begins with her saying, “Kiss me and kiss me again!” (1:2)

However, after their passionate honeymoon (which we are privy to read about), she begins to grow a bit apathetic. One night Solomon comes knocking. She’s not interested. Even though she had given him the key to her “garden,” it’s locked up and he can’t find that key.

“Not now, honey,” she says. “I’m tired. I’ve already washed my face, brushed my teeth, and put on my pj’s. Besides, I’m halfway asleep already.” (That’s my modern-day translations—not that I would know.)

We’ve all been there

Go ahead. Admit it.

The Shulammite learned an important lesson after their little spat. She made a decision to take action so the little fox of indifference wouldn’t sneak in and destroy the fruit of their marriage. Toward the end of the book, she shows us one way to prevent it. I envision her in the next stanza sauntering up to her husband as he’s overseeing the fields. She whispered in his ear, and her warm breath teased his neck. Tempting him. Flirting with him still.

Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,

let us spend the night in the villages.

Let us go early to the vineyards

to see if the vines have budded,

if their blossoms have opened,

and if the pomegranates are in bloom—

there I will give you my love.

The mandrakes send out their fragrance,

and at our door is every delicacy,

both new and old,

that I have stored up for you, my beloved. (Song 7:11–13)

Whoa, that might not be what you’d expect from your daily Bible reading, but God made sure it was in the Bible for a reason. I don’t think it took Solomon long to pack his bags.

How to keep passion alive

It’s up to us to recognize when the low tides of intimacy threaten to ground the boat on the sandbar of apathy. Here’s what we can learn from the Shulammite about how to keep passion alive. How to keep the Little Foxes (and One Big One) that Can Destroy a Marriage from getting in.

Be intentional. Left on its own, a fire or a marriage won’t flourish but turn to ash. It takes intentionality and ingenuity to make lifelong intimacy a reality.
Have fun together. It takes creativity and memory-making activity to weave commonalities into a life that is intertwined beyond unraveling.
Take time away from the monotony of matrimony to spend quality time together as lovers. (No kids allowed.)
Go back and do the things you did at the beginning of your relationship. As God told the Ephesians who’s love had grown cold in Revelation 2:4-5…Remember and Return.
Don’t be afraid to try something new in the bedroom. “Both new and old I have stored up for you” is a pretty good idea.
Let your spouse know that you still desire him/her.
Never stop flirting.

Lovestruck

Sharon Jaynes is a conference speaker and best-selling author of 23 books. Her latest is Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy. To learn more about Lovestruck, visit www.lovestruckbook.com. To learn more about Sharon’s ministry and other resources, visit www.sharonjaynes.com.

About Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy

In our sex-saturated culture, we are constantly bombarded by destructive, unrealistic depictions of romance and intimacy. But is the real problem that we focus on sex too much—or that we value sex too little? Do we really understand, let alone practice, the wondrous gift of intimacy between a husband and a wife?

In Lovestruck, bestselling author and Bible teacher Sharon Jaynes takes us back to the Bible’s beautiful picture of romantic love, a picture that is explicit but not illicit, sensual but not sordid, daring but not dirty. With the words of the Song of Solomon as a backdrop, Jaynes argues that sexual intimacy is so much more than a physical act while exploring the concepts of giving and receiving affection, pleasure; restoring romance in the mundane; avoiding the dangers of growing indifference; and committing to a covenant forever kind of love. By pursuing the sacred blessings of sexual intimacy in marriage and understanding God’s original intent, we find the freedom to enjoy and experience one of the Father’s most magnificent gifts.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

September 16, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Enjoy Motherhood Without the Mom Guilt

Recently I had the opportunity to chat with Jennifer Blossom of Blossoming Mom & Baby about how to enjoy motherhood without the mom guilt. It was a great conversation full of help and hope for moms in the trenches.

Blossoming Mom and Baby is all about supporting moms through the journey of motherhood.

Their belief is that you were created to THRIVE in your motherhood journey and not just going through the motions or mundane. No more complaining your way through motherhood. And no more fueling your body and mind with things that have zero (or negative) value. They believe it’s time to get on the right path for your life and motherhood. AND it’s never (EVER!) too late to start. They’re there right now with a fresh cup of coffee and a welcoming hand to invite you into the most supportive motherhood community in the world.

Jennifer and her team want you to remember, the way you show up and care for yourself MATTERS. When you learn how to take care of yourself mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and within your home~ your life (and the life of those around you) will forever change.

Listen in here:

https://www.blossomingmommyandbaby.com/podcast/2019/8/12/416-motherhood-without-the-mom-guilt-with-tricia-goyer

Are you new here? Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram. And make sure you are subscribed to my newsletter.

August 13, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Cultivate A Redesigned Life {A Guest Post}

Today on the blog we welcome Tracy Steel, author of A Redesigned Life.

Enter below for a chance to win a copy of A Redesigned Life! Winner will be e-mailed. Note: This post contains affiliate links.

All of us are living a life we did not design, but one that God is redesigning for us. Like a human interior designer or artist uses a set of design principles to help them create, God uses his own set of codes to create a couture life for each of us. Recognizing what these are is key to uncovering the purposes of God when life doesn’t go as planned.

In her new book, A Redesigned Life, author Tracy Steel considers six principles of design and how God also uses the principles of movement, emphasis, pattern, contrast, balance, and space to redesign our lives. Each of these principles enable us to uncover something spectacular about the purposes of our creative God. The following excerpt from her new book focuses on the principle of emphasis and how it helps us to see the no’s of God differently.

Pops of color and the no’s of God

Emphasis creates a focal point in a design which brings attention to the element or area that is most important. . . .

If everything is emphasized (all the text is large and bold, all the images are animated, everything is in bright colors) nothing will stand out, and grab the viewer’s attention. If everything is emphasized, nothing is.[i]

I love simple and elegant design. We’ve all seen pictures of a living room with its crisp white walls and cream sofa. Imagine a coffee table in the middle of that living room. On top of the table sits a glass vase filled with a bouquet of orange tulips or powder blue hydrangeas. Or perhaps there is a turquoise-and-white paisley pattern rug under the coffee table. Maybe there is a large abstract oil painting hanging on the wall composed of green, blue, and purple horizontal stripes. Our eyes are drawn to the flowers, to the rug, or to the oil painting because of the pop of color they provide among all the white. This is the essence of emphasis as a design principle. Emphasis makes us stop, helping us focus. A designer uses shapes, texture, or color to create emphasis.

Imagine the same living room but now everything in it is red—from the couch to the walls to the flowers to the rug. I don’t want to linger or enjoy the space because it’s overwhelming and nothing grabs my attention. There’s too much red. Nothing is emphasized.

White Space

In the same way, our world is pressing us to be like an all-red room. We must be all things to all people all the time, it seems. Good at everything. Involved in everything. Know everyone. I’m tired of the pressure, of all the striving, competition, and backbiting. Give me some white space, please. I need God to give me emphasis and so do you.

God is not asking us to be all things to all people all the time. He’s the one who is capable of doing and being this. He’s the one who is all-knowing. God alone is our ever-present help and shield. We’re only to add our little pop of color into the corner of the world in which he places us. We do this through the emphasis that God has designed for each of us. The beautiful thing is, all our emphases or callings will look different. However different they may be, our little pops of color should cause others to rest the eyes of their hearts and minds upon God. And if we are doing too many things, we will be way too red or stressed out and no one will want to linger around us either.

When God Says No

But what if we really feel like we found our calling or purpose, and then it doesn’t happen? Sometimes the emphasis we wish for or desire in our hearts will not come to pass because God will say no and not allow it to happen. We may assume this is because God is not good or fair. Or maybe we believe we are not good enough for God to use us, or that God doesn’t care about the dreams or passions that we feel inside us. But this isn’t true.

Look at God’s no from a different perspective. God, because he is good and is in the process of sanctifying us, could be saying no to our good desires simply because they are not in line with the emphasis he has designed for our overall life. And God’s no enables our pop of color to be a beneficial and beautiful one. Here it is in a nutshell:

God’s no = not our emphasis.

God’s no = the revealing of his emphasis for us.

God’s no = his protection, preventing us from becoming an all-red room.

And when God says no, that means we will have the opportunity to say yes to something that he has decided is better for us, because in his providence he knows and has already designed what is to come. So if you ever thought that by now you’d be living in the city or home of your dreams and making one million dollars and, well . . . you aren’t, it’s okay to admit your disappointment or feelings of failure to yourself and to your God. Ask him to heal you of those feelings. Realize that you’re beautifully gifted to do something else with your life and that God is redesigning you so you can bless the lives of others and bring glory to him.

Don’t be all things, just be you-things.

Your emphasis matters in God’s eyes. May this encourage you whenever your life doesn’t go as planned.

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Tracy Steel graduated from Kansas State University with a BS in interior design in 1998 and has a master’s degree in biblical and theological studies from Phoenix Seminary. As a project designer, Tracy created and coordinated the design and space planning of commercial spaces for clients such as Bank One, Wells Fargo, Express Scripts, DHS, and Lockheed Martin. Moving from one type of interior design to another, Tracy then worked in full-time youth ministry, serving as the director of female students at Scottsdale Bible Church. God’s true design for Tracy now involves improving the interior space of the hearts and minds of women around her. Currently stationed in Washington, DC, this military wife and mother of two enjoys linking up with other bloggers, leading Bible studies at her local church, and speaking at various moms’ groups and women’s ministries events nationwide. She is also the author of Images of His Beauty, a 10-week Bible study for young women that focuses on identity, overcoming and healing through Christ, and bearing the image of Christ.

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Chapter 3 Living Out Your Pop of Color for God [i] Donna Tersiisky, “The ABCs of Visual Design: Emphasis,” accessed June 23, 2018▲, http://www.tersiiska.com/design/principles/.

July 21, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

25 Ways to Breathe Life Into Your Day

Do you go through your day drained and exhausted? As a mom of ten kids, I understand. There is always so much to do, it’s hard to slow down … let alone stop to catch a breath. But as moms we need that. We need refreshment. We need joy. We need to find ways to breathe life into our days.

Here are ways to do that:

Recharge

Recharging is taking our focus off of all the tasks and doing something that we enjoy. It’s filling up after being poured out. It’s engaging our bodies, our minds and our senses. Here are some ways to recharge:

1. Take a walk

2. Enjoy a cup of tea

3. Listen to your favorite soundtrack

4. Tend your garden

6. Take a nap

7. Listen to an inspiring podcast

8. Listen to a Psalm on the Bible App

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April 29, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Invite Others Into Your Healing through Transparency

Years ago, in 2005, I faced one of the hardest struggles of my life. I thought I was doing so well—as a writer, as a mom, and as a wife. One November, I pondered my family and my work, and I thought things couldn’t get any better. I even prayed Psalm 139:23-24:

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

God did some searching, and I didn’t like what He found! God showed me areas of my life that needed healing.

It started with an email from an old boyfriend, and my heartbeat jumped to my throat. I’d thought about Steven* from time to time but that moment all the 14-year-old emotions came rushing back. I felt like that young teen again who’d found her “first love.” And as I thought about him I became dissatisfied by my current life. (How horrible is that?!)

Even though I broke off all communication with Steven,* in the coming months I still struggled with my emotions. What I realized is that even though Jesus had given me a new life I was still wrapped up in the old graveclothes. My good friend, Joanna Weaver, gives us a good picture of those graveclothes in her book,

Lazarus Awakening: Finding Your Place in the Heart of God:

I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see Lazarus shuffle out of the darkness of the tomb, wrapped in thin strips of linen according to the custom of the day. His arms and legs were probably wrapped individually, which allowed some movement. But to say the man was restricted would be an understatement.

The stench of death surely lingered around him. Depending on the original sickness, bloody patches may have marked the burial garment here and there, interspersed with yellow-crusted infection. Though a welcome sight to those who loved him, the resurrected Lazarus might also have been a bit frightening to behold.

I wonder what Mary and Martha thought when Jesus said, “Loose him, and let him go” (John 11:44, nkjv). As happy as I’d be to see my brother alive, I wouldn’t want to touch the strips of linen that had clung to his rotting flesh. After all, who knew what lay beneath the bandages? Just how resurrected was he?

Unwinding graveclothes. It’s a dirty job. But someone has to do it. [Tweet that!]

Someone has to do it. And that’s one of the factors of Lazarus’ story that shocks me most. For while Jesus Christ did what only He could do—bring a dead man back to life—He invited those who stood around watching to help with the process.

“Loose him, and let him go.” It’s the same command Christ gives the church today.

Help In Healing

Don’t you love that? Jesus invited others to help Him with the process of healing! In a past post I shared hints for helping others who need healing It’s a great resource for helping others find the healing they need. But now, I want to speak to YOU. Do you have areas in your life where you need healing? Are you tired to the odor of death and stench that seem to cling to you? Do you wonder why the pain and the shame from the past still can cling to you, even though you’re a new creation in Christ? If so, keep reading. And be willing to ask others for help.

Joanna’s words are powerful to me because she was one of the friends who helped me remove my graveclothes. But in order for her to do that, I had to be transparent and show her my mess. I had to confess Steven’s* email and the emotions that I thought were long gone. It wasn’t possible for me to do this in my own strength. I needed help. Here are three ways I invited Joanna—and other friends—in:

3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

I asked for prayer. Are you struggling? Ask your friend(s) to pray. Find people who you can trust. Let them know your struggles, and count on their prayers to hold you up.
I asked for Scripture passages. After I asked for prayers, I also asked my friends for their favorite Scripture passages. I spend time reading them, meditating on them and praying them myself. My friends pointed me to verses I’d forgotten. And, as I read, God’s word healed me.
I listened to their advice. This was the hardest part, but I listened to the advice of my friends. They shared how they overcame their own struggles in their own lives. They spoke with love, but they didn’t sugarcoat the situation. Sometimes it was hard to be transparent with my struggles and to listen, but my godly friends steered me in the right direction. I’m so thankful for that.

What are you struggling with? Open up and let your friends know. Be transparent and invite others into your healing. And be willing to help those around you to remove their grave clothes and find healing. That’s the way God has designed things. We need each other in so many ways.

Today, spend time praying about the parts of your life that you need to be healed from.

I’m also excited to be an upcoming guest on Joanna Weaver’s new podcast, THE LIVING ROOM! This podcast will be such a blessing and to kick things off, she’s doing a Podcast Launch Giveaway!
(ENDS APRIL 30th @ midnight!)

To find out more and enter visit here:https://joannaweaverbooks.com/TLRgiveaway/

Find healing today. @TriciaGoyer shares 3 ways to invite others into your healing here:

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March 7, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

3 Ways Children Teach Us To Pray – Kari Patterson

Do you want to pray more childlike? There is much we can learn from the prayers of a child. Kari Patterson shares 3 key characteristics to enrich our prayers

As I type these words, my daughter is snuggled up next to me with her head resting on my stomach. She’s been mostly quiet, but throughout the past few minutes she’s softly spoken a thought: “I loved seeing the ducks today.” A question: “When am I going to Madison’s house?” A praise: “I love you, Mommy. You’re the best mommy in the world.”

In just minutes she has shared her heart, sought clarity about the future, and expressed authentic praise—sounds like a pretty solid understanding of prayer to me. No wonder Jesus told us we must change to become childlike (Matt. 18:3). He wasn’t just being cute. He was giving us an important spiritual secret!

So . . . what is a childlike? Three key characteristics come to mind that would enrich our communion with God:

First, children are completely self-absorbed.

When my son bursts into my bedroom each morning, he’s already in midsentence, all his thoughts about dinosaurs and the ice age and Beethoven’s fifth symphony spilling out into space.

He doesn’t stop and think, “Wait, I can only talk to her about adult things, not these silly things on my mind.” Of course not. I want to hear what’s on his mind. Those things will probably change as he matures, but the only way to build a relationship is to begin where we are now.

The future-you cannot approach God. Only the you who you are today can.

To pray genuinely, to connect with the heart of our Father, we must simply begin with where we are now. The biggest obstacle to intimacy is waiting until we feel prayerful or spiritual or trying to get our thoughts neat and tidy before we begin. In Paul Miller’s life-giving and supremely practical book, A Praying Life, he explains, “If you don’t begin with where you are, then where you are will sneak in the back door. Your mind will wander to where you are weary.” [Paul Miller, A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2009), 33.]

Isn’t this true? If your mind wanders to your son’s struggles in school, start there! If your mind drifts to financial anxieties, start there! There is really no sense in trying to pretend with God. He already knows all our thoughts, so any attempts to mask our fears or selfishness are silly and sort of offensive, if you think about it. Who are we to think we can fool Him? Jesus calls this hypocrisy. Instead, let’s come to Him like a child approaches her loving father.

Second, children express all their thoughts out loud.

Anyone with children is familiar with the common scenario of having a small (or not so small) child blurt out some embarrassing comment in public: “Why does that lady have such a big tummy?” “Mommy, my bottom itches!” As we mature, we learn to keep these thoughts to ourselves, but praying out loud definitely helps us cultivate a childlike attitude in prayer in several ways.

For one, praying aloud encourages us to express our innermost selves to God freely, which cultivates intimacy. While we’re wise to filter our words for people, the one place we’re encouraged to “pour out our hearts” is with God. It’s foolish to vent our feelings to others, but it’s godly to vent them to God. He’s the only one who is never tainted by our mixed bag of emotions. It’s not gossip when you’re talking to God!

We’re wise to go to the throne before we go to the phone.

Praying out loud also keeps our mind from wandering (as much). Let’s face it: We’re praying one minute and making a mental grocery list the next. We’re hopelessly distractible. It’s much easier to focus when audible words are coming out of our mouths. It also helps give perspective to what we’re praying. Some things seem one way in our minds, but when they’re spoken into the air, we can see them more clearly. This is especially true concerning confession.

It’s easy to think a confessional thought about something we’ve done; it’s quite another thing to say it out loud.

Children are frank about their faults.

That is, kids call spades, spades; they haven’t learned the deceptive art of dressing up difficult situations with sophisticated words. A critical component of childlike prayer is confession, and the English word confess is a translation of the Greek word homologeo, which literally means “to say the same.” That is, we agree to say the same about something that God says about it. In other words, I’ll call it what He calls it.

This is powerful in prayer! Often in our adult sophistication we become brilliant wordsmiths and create clever names for our sin. We love to rename it to make it sound better. For example: an affair. An affair is a special event I attend with my spouse. The correct word for having sex with someone else’s spouse is adultery.

God our Father has names for things. He is clear. When I say, “I’m just struggling with feeling like no one appreciates all the hard work I do. I really deserve some recognition,” that is called pride. When I say, “I’m just struggling because she has this big beautiful house while we’re just barely making ends meet,” that is called envy.

Why is this critical? Because until we name it, we can’t ditch it! We can’t repent of a “struggle.” We can only repent of sin. As long as we dress it up in flowery language, we’ll never be rid of it. God doesn’t command us to call sin, sin because He wants to rub our faces in it. He has no interest in humiliating us; He wants to free us.

He knows that as long as we call it something lovely, such as an “affair,” we won’t understand the seriousness of sin—that it takes us far, far away from Him. Remember, this isn’t a game. Sin isn’t cute.

I don’t want to cuddle up with what Christ died to free me from. Sin only leads to death. It only leads to destruction, bondage, grief. He wants me, His child, to be free.

We deal frankly, confess openly, speak honestly, refusing to go through religious motions or hide our true selves. We come just as we are, runny-nosed, self-absorbed children in need of the Father’s love and care. Let’s learn from those littles all around us and come to God with candor, as His kids.

3 Ways Children Teach Us How to Pray from @KariPatterson on @TriciaGoyer #parenting #prayer

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More about Sacred Mundane:

What if the key to changing your life—and yourself—is already in your hand?

What if breakthrough and extraordinary growth are waiting for you within the ordinary days you’re living right now?

In Sacred Mundane, Kari Patterson pulls open the dusty blinds to let the light of truth shine in. Even the most unremarkable life is an opportunity to see, know, love, and be utterly transformed by a God who knows no bounds and who upsets every expectation. He eagerly awaits your invitation to fill your world with mundane miracles and holy habits.

Through her entertaining narrative, candid real-life stories, Bible study, and practical instruction, Kari will take you by the hand to discover the beautiful sacredness in the life you already lead.

If you long to grow in God and make a real difference in your world—no matter how small—Sacred Mundane contains everything you need to glean the truth hidden within your everyday existence. Dive in, and learn how to find freedom, purpose, and joy.

Purchase a copy here:
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Kari Patterson author of The Sacred Mundane

Kari Patterson shows readers the truth: in each unremarkable life lies an opportunity to see, know, love, and be utterly transformed by a God who meets everyone right where they are. Instead of stepping away from real life to find God, Patterson equips women with a six-step practice to move further in and meet Him in the humdrum moments of everyday existence.

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Just as we learn to come like a child to the Lord in prayer, we can also teach our children to pray in earnest to their heavenly father. I’m excited to share with you my Mommy & Me prayer journal!

It’s available HERE on Amazon. This journal is for little kids to write their prayers … or draw them! There is also a place for Moms to add their prayers, too. It makes a lovely keepsake! Here are the cover and sample pages:

Inside pages from new book *Mommy & Me Prayers: a Keepsake Journal*

My greatest joy would be for mothers and their children to spend time praying together. You can also grab Daddy & Me Prayers, and in the next few weeks I’ll be releasing, Grandma & Me Prayers, and Grandpa & Me Prayers, too. I’ll keep you posted!

May you and your children be blessed as you pray together!

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women

We call it the comparison game, but in the end, we are the big losers.

Why do we feel as if we keep passing GO, but we never get that $200?

God creates our game of LIFE. He stacks the cards so that when we turn to Him, we’ll always win.

It’s OK to have longings and life goals.

Additional Resources

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins!

Further Resources:

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

1. Cell Phones

2. Insurance

3. Subscription Services

4. Be Inconvenienced

What to Do with Your Savings

{More about Jessi Fearon}

Additional Resources

It’s Time to Get Creative, Mom.

What can you do when you need an extra “spark” of inspiration?

Here are a few things I do.

Sometimes what we need is simply a break in our day from the mundane tasks of life.

Prayer

Looking for More Ways to Get Creative?

More Resources

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

But how do you find joy in your day?

Here are 6 ways … and a Scripture verse for each!

1. Thank God for each new morning.

2. Turn on worship music.

5. Join the kids in praising God.

6. Thank God for troubles.

How about you? What do you do to find joy in your day? What’s your favorite Scripture about joy?

Prayer

More Resources

How did that happen?

The list of little foxes is extensive

We’ve all been there

How to keep passion alive

Lovestruck

About Lovestruck: Discovering God’s Design for Romance, Marriage, and Sexual Intimacy

Blossoming Mom and Baby is all about supporting moms through the journey of motherhood.

Listen in here:

Pops of color and the no’s of God

White Space

When God Says No

Enter here to win a copy of A Redesigned Life!

Chapter 3 Living Out Your Pop of Color for God [i] Donna Tersiisky, “The ABCs of Visual Design: Emphasis,” accessed June 23, 2018▲, http://www.tersiiska.com/design/principles/.

25 Ways to Breathe Life Into Your Day

God did some searching, and I didn’t like what He found! God showed me areas of my life that needed healing.

Unwinding graveclothes. It’s a dirty job. But someone has to do it. [Tweet that!]

Help In Healing

3 Ways To Invite Others Into Your Healing

Excerpted from Sacred Mundane: How to Find Freedom, Purpose, and Joy (Kregel Publications) ©2017.