Thank goodness I’ve gotten off (well almost!).
I don’t want my kids growing up with the same insecurities and hang-ups I had. I want them to understand that it is possible to be mad or frustrated or overwhelmed and still control one’s feelings and actions. An angry flick on the arm isn’t okay, especially when my child is on the receiving end of my angst. It doesn’t matter how I was raised. It doesn’t even matter that my own parents’ mixed-up reactions made it hard for me to deal with my own.
Those things are in the past—I can’t change them. What I can change is my own actions and reactions. While it’s easy to recognize when we are letting our emotions have free rein, it’s harder to control them. I’m so glad that Jesus never asked me to handle everything—my habits, my reactions, and my weaknesses—on my own. Instead, Jesus tells me to depend on Him.
How have you learned to control your emotions? Where are you still struggling?
Excerpt © Tricia Goyer, Blue Like Play Dough
Pray!! Sounds a little cliche, but God has used times of prayer to show me wrong attitudes in my life — Like a sense of entitlement, or a perfectionistic attitude. When I’ve been able to address those root areas, my emotional roller coaster settles down a bit. (still on it somtimes!)
I am wondering if emotions become out-of-control when we don’t have a safe place to vent them?–not only a safe place to vent, but a regular place to vent. Finding healthy ways to release our emotions, even if it is just vigorous exercise or talking to a friend, can calm us so we don’t have that “rollercoaster” experience.
Thanks for sharing this, Tricia.
This really spoke to my heart. I’ve struggled for awhile now with up and down emotions due to so many issues in my life. I still have bad days, but I know the Lord is helping me. I just don’t always choose to let Him like I could! Thanks for an honest post.
Tyra
I am still working on it, and probably will until the day I’m taken home to Christ. But a book that helped me a lot was _Feeling Good_ by David D. Burns, MD. He talked about learning to react rationally to things and not let the emotions control you.
For example, if my 18-mon-old son continues to get into the desk drawers even after REPEATED discipline telling him not to, I can’t get upset because he’s behaving consistently: he’s curious, inquisitive, and loves to goad people. (And yes, I know he’s just 18 months and still has to learn, too!)
Another thing that has helped is the classes of Parenting with Love and Logic. It tells you to leave your emotions at the doorstep when dealing with your kids, at least the overwhelming ones. If I respond to my son’s digging in the drawers with anger and frustration, it teaches him to over-react. (That’s just one small part of the Love and Logic stuff, though).
It’s nice to be reminded I’m not the only one struggling with emotions. God is faithful and we know that He doesn’t leave us to struggle through alone. May His PEACE be ours through Christ!