How to Be the Perfect Mom…
Stop Trying to Be Perfect!
I was a very young mom when I had my first child, just seventeen. Teen pregnancy was something whispered about in 1989, but I noticed the stares. Because of those stares I wanted to make sure I did everything right. I wanted to have the perfect kids so that people would see that a young mom could succeed.
If I could go back and do things differently, I would relax more. I wanted my son to be the smartest at preschool. In T-ball I wanted him to be the best player. He was pretty smart and could beat me at Memory by age three, but as for sports . . . well, he was more interested in staring at the clouds than catching a ball.
I wanted to be seen as the perfect mom, too. I kept my house spotless.
I started writing and publishing and tried to become a success. By this time I lived 2,000 miles from those who knew me as a teen mom, but that didn’t stop me from striving. I didn’t go to enough nature walks or play catch too often because I was too busy keeping my world in order.
What I know now is:
1. My world will never be perfect. Perfection will come in heaven, not before.
2. My to-do list will never be done. God has given me enough time to day for what He’s asked me to do. It’s not as if He’s wringing his hands saying, “Oh no, that poor woman. I should have given her 26 hours!” If you have more to do than humanly possible, go to God and ask him to show you what to take off your list and how to organize your day.
3. My kids aren’t perfect either, but we have some great memories together. My son has grown and has a family of his own. He’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. And we don’t expect each other to be. Good thing, because as a mom of six kids (and the youngest two being four-years-old) that would be a lot of “images” to maintain!)
Some of our favorite memories are times when we forgot there was a world out there we were trying to impress … and just enjoyed being together—laughing, loving, and enjoying life.
How about you? Are you trying to hold everything together? It’s exhausting isn’t it?
Instead, trust the the most “perfect” parent that you can be is one who has grace for herself and her children, no matter what expectations you feel from the outside world. Your children will thank you for it! And the memories will be even more wonderful than any image you tried to uphold!
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank you for the blessing of children and gift of motherhood. Help me be the mom my kids need and not the perfect mom. Help me keep my priorities straight and resist the pressures to do it all. Thank you for being the perfect parent and showing me what it means to truly love!
More Resources
Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom
Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom (Mothers of Preschoolers (Mops))
Lead Your Family Like Jesus: Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families
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I so relate to this! I had just turned nineteen when I had my oldest, and I felt so much pressure to be perfect and prove everyone wrong. I grew out of it, but it creeped back in when we started homeschooling 7 years ago. I was determined to do that perfectly, too. Again because of doubtful family members! Fortunately, God delivered me from that desire after the first year. I am now probably too honest about my faults 🙂
How true ..Being a FTM I think we do push ourselves to hard 🙂
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Wow this is so similar to my story! I was only 16 when I had my first, and 2 weeks shy of 18 when I had my second. I was very determined to be a “perfect” mom. Little did I know, the people who are determined to think that teen mothers cannot be good mothers, won’t have their minds changed no matter how many pinterest crafts you complete! I’m so glad that I found your page. I searched for a teen mother who “made it” that I could look up to when I was in the throws of it. I’m 21 with three kiddos now, but so glad to have found your page. You’re an inspiration. 🙂