Do you want to help eliminate teen pregnancy? Then let’s look at some important ways that you can help your teen make better choices.
Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy
When it comes to teen pregnancy, often we ask these two questions: if a teen finds themself facing an unplanned pregnancy are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices? We ask because we care. And as parents, we want to protect our kids from difficult situations and the consequences of poor decisions.
Are you a mom or dad who’s wondering if you can make a difference in your child’s choice not to have sex prematurely? The answer is YES! And If you don’t want your daughter or son to be one of the one million teens who become parents every year, consider this:
Be a role model.
Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the boundaries of marriage? The saying “Do what I say, not what I do” never works. We have to set the standard we want our kids to emulate. The standard is God’s Word, not the current culture.
Talk about what love is–and isn’t!
Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love (no matter what they show on television). True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens they are responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won’t make him yours. A baby won’t make him stay.”
Remind kids it CAN happen to them.
Having sex, even so-called “protected” sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. And, yes, it’s possible–everyone can make good choices. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kid’s on how to make those choices. Talk openly with your child about sex and sexuality and remind them they are in control of their body–no matter what anyone else says.
Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.
Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, one in three young women get pregnant at least once before they turn twenty—good girls included.
Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.
Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.
Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.
Talk about setting boundaries and not putting themself in situations that will cause them to compromise those decisions. Help them make good plans for their future and stick to goals. If possible, role-play conversations until they feel confident saying what needs to be said to avoid sexual situations. The more practice a person has in saying something, the easier it will be to say it when the time comes. Even if it feels awkward or silly, help your child find their own words for protecting their boundaries.
Talk about the media’s wrong messages.
The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Babies are a life-long responsibility, not a fashion accessory.
Encourage secondary purity.
Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said “yes” before. Today your child can make the right choice and choose abstinence. Even if they’ve been sexually active in the past, remind them that they can choose differently next time. Help them find forgiveness in Christ and build them up in the way to find the strength to avoid temptation in the future.
Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!
As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our kids. Don’t wait.
Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.
It’s so important for parents to open up a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages the media gives out?
Some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had were talking to my kids about sex. But those are also some of the most important ones. Not only did it help us to discuss this important topic, but it lead to other important topics and drew us closer to each other. When we care enough to breach difficult subjects with our kids they begin to understand our hearts better. Don’t miss this opportunity to build a lifelong relationship with your child. Remember, they will grow up one day and this conversation might be a crucial part of their life choices.
Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!
Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy
Although an unplanned pregnancy is something we would rather spare our child from, if your teen (or a teen you know) find’s themself in this situation, know that they can choose to parent and be successful. Teens can be good parents and a baby is always a blessing. We can choose to help a teen become a good parent by supporting them every step of the way.
For more resources on supporting teen moms you might want to read these posts:
Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms
A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important
Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!
Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!
5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group
17 Ways to Reach out to Single Moms
Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary
God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins
How to Start a Teen MOPS Group
How to Help Teen Moms
Great article, Tricia. Something else we can do to prevent teen pregnancy is to talk to our sons. It takes two to make a baby. If we taught our sons to abstain from sex until they married and led by example and followed the 10 steps you’ve laid out (tweaking them for the guy perspective), that would go a long way in helping too. I think we’ve got to battle it from both sides of the gender fence. We’ve got to instill more virtue back into the world around us. And it starts at home.
Blessings,
Andrea
Absolutely!! I love this! Thank you for your input!
I think #9 is the most important. We MUST prepare our daughters, because we won’t be there forever.
Thank you for your posts and encouragement!
You’re welcome!
I did all that and then some. I work in OB/GYN and my daughter was full aware of the results of having sex before marriage. I had her in church from the time she was 1 week old and she accepted the Lord Jesus Christ into her heart when she was 10 years old. When her boyfriend of 3 years broke up with her, she almost immediately started dating again. With warnings of “guard your heart” as she was walking out the door for dates with the new guy, she became pregnant by someone she had known for only six weeks. A year and a half later, I am attempting to find myself again as I no longer know who I am. I have never felt like such a failure in my life.
Denise, my heart aches for you! Though we do everything we know to do, say all the right things, sometimes people still make bad decisions. All we can do is pray and lean into God. He hasn’t abandoned you or your daughter. He’s ready and available to give you comfort, to offer you peace, to smile rays of sunshine into your life. You may not know who you are right now, but He does. You are a child of God. That’s where I would start. Trust Him, lean into Him, search His Word until He reveals to you your next step. If we seek Him, He will reveal Himself to us. And in the journey, we discover ourselves.
I hope this encourages you today.
God bless you!
Andrea
We can do everything “right” and our kids still make mistakes. All of us make some type of mistake in our lives … the amazing thing is that GREAT things can come out of unplanned pregnancy. I was born from an unplanned pregnancy, and my son was born out of one, too. What we often see as disappointments God sees as gifts.
Great article — and it applies to boys, too! Girls need support from their boyfriends, not pressure. If we teach our sons respect, purity, and honor above what the world presents, they will have a better chance to avoid becoming fathers earlier than desired.
Yes, I agree!
Tricia, I believe this is one of the most important conversation a parents can have with their children, both boys and girls. My daughter is 17 and we’ve been talking for years, now I pray she continues to make good choices. My son is 12 and we are starting to talk. I think you are right with your advice.
Thank you for sharing.
Blessings
You’re welcome, Katrina. Thank you for your input and keep up the great work!
I got pregnant at 19 despite having excellent Christian parents who did all the right things.
What I want to say is that God can still work incredible good from situations born in sin. For Denise, and every other parent feeling like a failure when their teen got pregnant, I want them to hear this and know this: humans make mistakes, but God doesn’t. He is in control and He can work all things together for good if your daughters surrender to Him.
I completely agree, Katie. I know God has great plans for those children who come unexpectedly!
Excellent, very practical advice. Thanks, Tricia.