Urgency is when “now” cries out louder than, “let’s think this through.”
There’s only one spot left, you better sign up.
Or … But Mom, everyone else is doing it.
Or … There’s someone else interested in this puppy if you don’t take it.
(I’ve personally fallen for all three of those!)
With urgency, we don’t use our common sense because it takes too long to figure out what would be the most sensible thing to do.
Too often I’ve prayed for God to give me wisdom, without realizing that He already has. Like Luke 12:57 says, “You don’t have to be a genius to understand these things. Just use your common sense…” (The Message).
The opposite of urgency is being intentional. Being intentional takes a little time, a little focus, and a lot of prayer. It’s admitting there is way too much good stuff to focus on, and if we don’t choose our family, we will lose.
Two actions have helped me to take a step back when urgency comes knocking:
1. Let me talk to my husband about that.
2. Let me pray about that.
John is a good sounding board for me, and when I ask him about something, usually his first question is, “If you’re going to add that, what are you going to cut?”
My answer, “Um, uh…” Maybe adding that new activity isn’t such a great idea.
Before I was married to John, I was a single mom. During that time my mom was my parenting partner. She was the one I turned to when I needed help, advice or encouragement. She wasn’t there every moment, but her input helped me to check to see if I was on the right path.
When I got the green light from my husband and from God then I was able to step forward with boldness—like when I helped to start a pregnancy care center in our town. Even though it took away time from my kids, it also developed the passions and talents God placed inside me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my kids benefited, too. From little tykes, they volunteered by helping and serving. Caring for others became a way of life, and the values they learned continue to shape their goals and decisions.
Over the years, as my kids have grown, I’ve come to my senses. (Or at least that’s what I try to tell myself!) I’ve learned to trust more—trust myself, my husband, and God. I’ve learned to watch a few things too, like my expectations, my attitude, my schedule. I’m better at paying attention to my kids’ needs, their desires, and their joys.
I’ve also become more confident that God didn’t place me in this role so He could get a good laugh as I flubbed up and figured things out. I’m learning that “Mom” doesn’t have to be overwhelming when I tune into the common sense that God has given me. I’m learning to make decisions according to what makes most sense for my family, at this time.
I’ve also learned that even if others disagree, I can handle it. I’m a big girl, and God is an even bigger God. I don’t need to please other people all the time, or even most of the people most of the time, but it has been a process. One that I’m still in the middle of.
Thanks, Tricia. I needed to read that today. As I am looking at next school year without homeschooling (yes, Heidi is going to FHS in the fall)- there are so many things I could do. I want to be wise in how I use my time and really discern what God wants me to do. I miss you!
Jan