I focused on his flaws.

I lived it my house in Montana for 12 years and I liked it fine. It was large. It was in a great location. It fit our family’s needs, but it was the little things that bothered me. A few rooms needed paint. The backyard needed landscaping. I noticed all the areas the needed to be deep cleaned. In fact all the little imperfections were like neon signs to me. IMPERFECT. IMPERFECT.

I didn’t truly appreciate my Montana home until we were living 2,000 miles away in a musty, dingy, dark condo. I was thankful we had a place to live, but no matter how I scrubbed it, it didn’t feel clean.

Five months later we moved into a NICE apartment. It was clean, fresh, and well taken care of. The problem was within a few months my older kids moved in and my grandma also wanted to move back. The place was nice … but too small. (I was starting to understand what Goldie Locks felt like!!)

Next, we started looking for a bigger place. Everything was WAY out of our price range. Then, one day on Craig’s List I came across a big house. It looked nice on the outside, but once we stepped through the door it was clear it was a fixer upper. It needed new paint, new carpet, new sheet rock. The light fixtures had to be fixed as did 100 other little things. The owner said we could get a reduced rent rate (in our price range) if we helped fix it up. We agreed and we’ve been busy doing just that. It’s a LOT of work!

As I’ve gone through this process in the last year it’s made me think a lot about marriage. Like my Montana house I often did the same thing with my husband. I focused on his flaws: IMPERFECT, IMPERFECT. There were times in the past when I let those flaws fill my vision and I even started to wonder if there was someone better out there. I know friends who’ve done this too.

Thankfully, I’ve remained in my marriage, and I love my husband. We’re committed for life and I couldn’t be happier, but I’ve had friends move on to other relationships only to discover what I found in our house hunt … there is no perfect house and there is no perfect spouse. And sometimes we don’t appreciate what we had until we’ve moved on to something/someone else!

Are you spending more time focusing on your spouses flaws than anything else? Pray and ask God to change your heart. There are other relationships out there, but you might just find yourself with an even worse fixer upper than what you have. It may look great out the outside, but it’s only as you move in that you discover all the flaws.

Believe me, I’ve learned from experience!