I sensed something was wrong…
My son Cory was only four-months-old when I sensed something was wrong. Very wrong. I’d gone to the doctor two days prior and told him Cory wasn’t behaving normally.
“He’s not nursing. He’s crying often. He’s stiff and…well, something’s wrong with my baby.”
“It’s just colic. Don’t worry about it,” the doctor had said with an annoyed tone. Then, without another word, he rushed off to meet his next low-income patient.
Just colic? I had heard about this mysterious illness when I eavesdropped on mommy conversations. The symptoms were clear. Wailing (baby), whimpering (mom), distended tummy (baby), dark circles under eyes (mom). It made sense, I guess. I trusted the doctor. He’d been doing his job for a dozen years, compared to me doing this mommy thing for little more than a dozen weeks.
Two days later, Cory was sicker. His fever spiked, and he lay limp in my arms. My mom drove us to the emergency room where we discovered Cory had spinal meningitis and was flown to the nearest children’s hospital. Fear over my son’s condition battled with my anger. What hadn’t the doctor listened to me? Maybe because lots of babies had colic. Or maybe because I was a teen mother—only seventeen when Cory was born. Yet, even though I was a teen, I wasn’t clueless. (Well, not totally—and not about this.) I knew something was wrong—I’d sensed it deep down.
Thankfully, Cory recovered with the care of doctors and much prayer. He’s a strong, healthy guy now, and he’s had no long-term affects, but I can’t say the same about me. That encounter was a defining moment in my motherhood journey. All moms have these moments. The first trip to the emergency room, the first broken arm or lost child. It’s on the other side of these moments that we feel deserving of a giant gold star that we can plaster on a spit-up, juice-box decorated t-shirt. A star that reads, “I survived a mommy moment and all I got for it was this dumb star.”
Experiences like this help us realize this title of Mommy has changed us forever. It’s up to us. All of it. Even though we can’t see our Mommy Sensibility, we know it’s there—just like the thousands of tiny splatters from a child’s wet sneeze all over our face.
My daughter had spinal meningitis at 4 weeks old; it was a frightening time. As soon as I read your post I could tell where your story was going…because I experienced the same as a mom. Praise God our children are fine – my daughter is a spunky determined 20 year old college student who has overcome amazing academic odds. Thanks for sharing!
I think we had the same first doctor with our first children. Luckily, my child only had reflux and a milk allergy instead of being “just a spitter”, but the doctor deserved to be taken out back of the woodshed. I should have clued in when I noticed his name was Dr. Coffin. LOL!
My youngest daughter had a birth defect that nearly led to her death. She had a disorder where she couldn’t absorb protein effectively.
At one point, our doctor thought my wife had Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome and called CPS on us.
My wife knew that something was wrong though and fought until we were finally able to get our child to an out-of-state Children’s Hospital. There they correctly diagnosed my daughter’s illness and got us the help we needed.
Needless to say, it was a lot of prayer and family support (thanks Tricia!) that got us through.