It’s Real Life–Fathers

I didn’t know my biological father until I was 27-years-old. After we met, I had no interaction with my sisters (or any of his side of the family) until 2006 because my step-mother forbade it and he didn’t want to stir the waters. We have a good, but limited and awkward relationship now, and every year it gets better.

I don’t remember my first step dad. The only time I hear about him is through my grandmother’s complaints. 🙂

My second step dad raised me. Currently, he lives in Northern California, has no friends and spends his day watching TV or walking the beach alone.

My third step dad has pretty much kept my mother away from her family for fifteen years.

Delightful, isn’t it?

Still, I believe there is something I’ve learned from each one of these “fathers.”

My biological dad: Consider people as friends and they will enjoy doing business with you. He sells insurance in California. He honestly loves his customers. I’ve listened as he’s told stories about them. I’ve heard his interactions on the phone.

My second stepdad: If you live for yourself, and don’t give and serve, your world becomes very small, lonely, and depressing. Potential can be wasted. What you think, is what you live, whether negative or positive.

My third stepdad: You may believe that controlling people gives you control, but in the end you miss out on the uniqueness that others have to offer.

For years I disliked Father’s Day. I pretty much envied people with amazing fathers. One of my favorite books is The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan. I sobbed through that book because the beautiful father/daughter relationship brought me to tears on every page.

Yet … this is my life, and these are my relationships. I do okay in the relationships I have. I also know I probably could do better. I also know that many of you have relationships like this–some of them even more challenging and painful.

I know I can’t fully grasp God as my Father while I’m here on earth because my mind and heart have a hard time comprehending … yet I want to. I really want to try. In fact, I’m going to start praying for this more–for God to show me His Father heart. (I teared up even as I wrote that last sentence, so I know this is a prayer I most likely need to pray every day.)

I can say, though, that God has blessed me with other amazing men who have given me a glimpse of a father’s care. My grandfather was a loving influence in my life. I don’t ever remember him being angry with me. I never doubted his love.

Then there is my father-in-law. I’ve never met a man more intent on seeking God and sharing truth with people. God’s used him as a special messenger in my life, too. On numerous occasions I’ve been going through really rough times and there’s been a knock on the door. I’ve opened it and there he’s been there with a smile. “God sent me over to pray for you.”

I also have to mention my husband. He’s an amazing father–a true gift, a true joy.

The truth is, there are many readers out there who know, like I do, that Father’s Day sometimes brings up more pain than joy. Maybe like me you need to pray for God to show you His Father-heart, too. I have a feeling He will.

And maybe you, like me, also need to take a moment to think about someone God has brought into your life who is a fatherly role-model to you. Any day is a good day to let that person know, and to thank God for the ways He fills the holes when we feel like we’re missing out.