Learning to Let Go | Be a Model, Mom (and Dad)

While raising children to be confident, responsible, and independent people is vital, the most important aspect of letting go is transferring our child’s dependence away from us and onto God. (And in case you missed any of the other posts, read one, two, and three!)

“What I aspire from my children above all else is an immediate relationship with God—where they’re hearing from God, responding to God, and being directed,” says Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Parenting: HowRaising Children Shapes Our Souls (Zondervan, 2005). “In the course of their lives, this is going to serve them more than anything else.”

In Parenting With Kingdom Purpose, Dr. Ken Hemphill tells parents that in order to get a glimpse of the type of relationship their children will have with God, all they have to do is look in the mirror. Thomas agrees.

“A dynamic relationship with the Lord is very contagious,” says Thomas. “If our children live within close proximity to our love and passion for God, they’ll want that for themselves. I tell my kids how God reveals Himself to me. How He directs me. How He challenges me. How He is helping to mature me. I trust that if I set the example they’re going to follow.”

When it comes down to it, we want our children to be all that they can be. We want them to be independent people who can live with faith and conviction . . . but why?

“Whether it’s athletics, art, business or any other arena, children need to realize that God has given them an opportunity in which they can be His unique possession, a moveable possession,” says Dr. Hemphill. “No matter what their ages or personalities, as parents, we need to encourage our children to excellence in relation to their service to the King.”

“The ultimate goal I have for each of my children will be determined after they die—when they stand before the judgment seat of God, and God welcomes them into His kingdom” adds Thomas. “Yet, if they are well-balanced, happily married, and financially successful and hear God say, ‘Depart from me, I never knew you,’ I’ll be devastated.

“Instead, what I want to see from my children what Paul states in Acts 26:19. At the end of their lives, my desire is for them to look up and say, ‘I was not disobedient to the vision from heaven’ (NIV) If they can say that, then they’ve achieved spiritual independence that honors God, by honoring who God made them to be.”

In their book Parenting With Kingdom Purpose, authors Ken Hemphill and Richard Ross provide a 30-day prayer guide for Parents. Here are five prayers to get you started:

Teach my children, Lord, to value work and to work hard at everything they do, “as something done for the Lord and not for men” (Col. 3:23).

Father, I pray that my children may develop self-discipline, that they may acquire a “disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair” (Prov.1:3).

A Love for God’s Word
May my children grow to find God’s Word “more desirable than gold—than an abundance of pure gold; and sweeter than honey—than honey dripping from the comb” (Ps. 19:10).

Help my children develop a strong self-esteem that is rooted in the realization that they are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:10).

Lord, please instill in my children a soul with a craving for you, a heart that clings passionately to you (Ps. 63:8).

P.S. My store is live until Wednesday! Be sure to get your signed copies of donated books before they’re sold out. All proceeds go to fund my upcoming mission trip to the Czech Republic. Visit my store here, and find out more information about the literary garage sale here!