Last Thursday I spoke with Vicki Tiede on my radio show, Living Inspired. If you didn’t hear it, you can listen to or download the podcast by clicking here! Vicki Tiede is an inspiring Bible teacher, conference speaker, and author. Her passion is to open the Scriptures with women in order to share God’s grace and enduring faithfulness. Vicki transparently relates life experiences that resonate and draw others into a lifelong pursuit of knowing God. Her candor and humor are a delight to her audiences, who feel like they’ve met a new friend moments after she begins to share a glimpse into her life. Vicki consistently points her audiences back to God’s Word and presents fresh insights into the Scriptures. Living in Rochester, Minnesota, Vicki is a wife, homeschooling mom, and the coordinator of women’s ministries in her local church. She holds master’s degrees in Ministry and in Education. Connect with Vicki at http://vickitiede.com. She wrote the book, When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography.
To be honest, in my book I tell women that they should thank God if their husband is struggling with his addiction to pornography. That struggle is an indication that the Holy Spirit is at work. It’s when a husband feels no conviction for his sexual sin that hope seems harder to hold onto.
- Work toward forgiveness. (This is a process, not an event!)
- Fix her eyes on God and credit Him for the work He’s doing in her heart, her husband’s heart, and in their marriage.
- Talk to her husband about true intimacy.
- Address the issue of the pornography addiction. Talk about it!
- Be extremely sensitive to sexually charged media or resources in their home.
- Remember that God appointed the Holy Spirit the task of conviction. She is only responsible for her obedience to the Word of God. She is not responsible for his daily choices.
- Acting like the “porn police.”
- Withholding forgiveness because it feels like a “get out of jail free” card.
- Withholding intimacy, especially when healthy intimacy has been reestablished.
- Being vengeful.
- Ignoring her own issues of sin or brokenness.
- Being unwilling to separate his addiction from who he is aside from the deviant behavior. He is not all “bad,” just as she is not all “good.”