Marriage and Church

This morning I was reading in the Psalms and a verse stood out to me. It was like the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Pause and think about this verse for a while.” The verse?

For the sake of the house of our God, 
     God, I’ll do my very best for you. 
~Ps 122:9 MSG

When we talk about marriage there are many who talk about home logistics and family life and work matters and intimate moments, but have you thought much about your marriage’s relationship to the church?

For many years church to John and I was simply another thing to schedule on our to-do list. We signed up for things without really giving any mind to how it would affect our marriage. And during this time our church life became one of the things that pulled us apart.

I was a stay-at-home mom with two toddlers and a baby. John was a church elder, a Sunday School teacher, he did all the computer work for the church and helped in numerous other ways. I knew he was needed at church, but I didn’t know how to express that I needed him at home, too. I just kept getting madder and madder, until one day I was ready to pack up and head to my Grandma’s for a while!

Needless to say John started to understand and stepped away from a few of his church activities. And for years he was diligent about not overcommitting. For years he “only” led children’s church, even though he was often asked to help in other areas. He realized that though he’s capable of helping in many areas, he’s needed at home, too.

Over the years I’ve learned the same lesson. Even though I’d love to help with youth group or lead a woman’s Bible Study, I focus on assisting John with the children’s ministry and working IN the church to reach those OUTSIDE the church through our Teen Mom Support group.

Maybe you’re like us. Or maybe you’re just the opposite. Maybe to you church is a place you “attend” but you and your spouse haven’t taken the time to get involved. Maybe the nudging God is whispering in your heart is saying, “I want you to do more.” My husband has always said, “Church service should be a verb, not a noun.” We all should be doing something.

According to Psalm 122:9, for the sake of the house of our God, we need to do our very best for Him. For some couples this “very best for God” may be stepping down from a few things. For other couples, it may be stepping up. If you think about it, if everyone was faithful in completing the role God asked of him or her, no one would be doing too much. And no one would be doing too little.

If all of us considered our marriage and our roles in the church–and took that to prayer–God would show us the perfect balance there, too.