John and I always told ourselves it was a good thing we had kids while we were young, that way we’d still be young when they were out of the house. We made lot of plans, to travel, to enjoy quiet evenings together, to have a clean house not cluttered with toys.
Then I saw a magazine article about orphans, and that got me thinking about adding another child to our home. John wasn’t interested when I first mentioned it. I didn’t prod. Instead I just prayed. I didn’t know if it was God’s plan for our family that God would bring both of our hearts into agreement. He did. We didn’t get the China baby we first planned on, but we have three new Goyers in our home. We don’t travel as much as we like. We are exhausted during the evenings. And the house is cluttered with toys. But we stepped out and followed God’s call, and we couldn’t imagine life without these kids.
We never had that empty nest feeling in our home. When Tricia and I started dating, there was already a baby in tow. Those “easy to get away for the weekend” adventures were something other people got to enjoy. I will admit I was looking forward to those days. I love the kids, but I really longed for the ease of the empty nest. Since we would be in our forties when the last one left for college, we would still be young enough to enjoy an easier life of a smaller home, smaller cars, and less to arrange when we want to play on the weekend.
Then I felt conviction about that attitude. God did not call me to a life of ease. We get one shot at this life, to make a difference in the lives of others. Following a hedonistic philosophy of pleasing myself does not honor God or the sacrifice he made for me. God placed a new desire in my heart. True worship is this: to care for the widow and the orphan. So now we have Tricia’s grandma in our home and three little ones. They are work, and they are joy, and they are an opportunity to share the love of the Father to those who need someone who will get out of their easy chair and love.
Read the rest of this post on For the Family!
Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.
Did this post speak to you? Check out one of these posts:
- I Flew to Focus on the Family to Talk about Parenting . . . and God Surprised Us with Two New Kids
- The Child God Chose for Us
- Giving Our Children a Heart of Compassion
I have copies of Lead Your Family Like Jesus to give away to ten lucky readers! Want to be entered to win? Simply leave a comment on this post answering this question (along with your email address): What attitude have you felt convicted about lately? And if you want an extra entry, tweet the click-to-tweet in the post above and leave an additional comment with your Twitter handle. I’ll announce the winners next Wednesday, and my assistant will be in touch via email with the winners.
Lately I’ve been feeling convicted about my “martyr” attitude. I do a LOT around the house and have felt like it’s just me doing the work, but it really isn’t. My husband and I have different strengths and interests and both pitch in plenty – I need to adjust my attitude to feel at peace with what gets done and not stress out about the undone. 🙂
I tweeted: https://twitter.com/laurapyd/status/382826758564618240
Tricia Goyer says
Lonnie W. Brooks says
Anger is the one thing I have been convicted of lately. My wife Marci has been severely ill for several months, We waited a month for an appointment with an cardiac specialist who did nothing for her for 4 months, just playing with meds when her own cardiologist had sent her to him recommending a procedure.. Needless to say we switched to another specialist and got the answers we needed and a procedure to hopefully help her in a few days. We are heart broken, all the wasted time with him, hurt her and cost us a great deal including her job and benefits. I have been angry enough to hit him, and have had to pray the Lord would keep me from sin if I ever laid eyes on him in that medical groups office.
It is so hard to see your spouses decline, and to know it could have been prevented is heart breaking. But I have to lay each day in the Lord’s hands that He has my wife, will take care of her and our family during these challenging times.
Lonnie W. Brooks says
I tweeted the story!
My giving attitude which is always apparent but rarely receives any thanks nor reciprocation.
Nancy L S says
To be more present in my childrens’ lives
Tricia Goyer says
I struggle with my attitude towards my aunt – at times. She is 90 years old, broke her hip, & has gotten demanding, & cantankerous – not only to me, but to her caregivers – as well (has had one of them in tears). She has been ill for about 6 months now – I remind myself that she is upset over the loss of control over her life, & pray for patience on the days she is at her worst.
Thanks for the opportunity to win the book, Tricia!
Angie Carroll says
Mine is worry! I try to bring it to God in prayer but sometimes I still find myself worrying about things!
I don’t know if it’s technically an attitude, but I let myself get drawn in and distracted by things that aren’t important and then don’t do a good job at what should be a priority.
Vicky Lowman says
Over the summer my husband and I were heavily convicted about simplifying and downsizing our life. After much talk and prayer we sold and gave away 3/4 of our worldly goods . We are still in the process of praying about the house ( it’s a family home.) So excited about what God is already doing with our simpler life and excited to see what else He has in store !!!!!
There’s some bitterness that I’m still holding on to. I know I need to lay it down.
Expecting perfection from others – not giving my family enough grace!
Kristina Best says
My husband and I struggle with our roles sometimes.
Andrea P. says
Being grouchy to my husband and kids. Feeling under-appreciated too.
Jennifer Gepfrey says
Love to win
Jackie McNutt says
I have been letting the burdens of life get me down and it has been a struggle sometimes to keep the focus off me and my feelings . I feel God has been leading me to reach out more to see the pain in others & help where I can.
Every day I struggle with motherhood, with discipline, with trying to lead with grace.
Tricia Goyer says
Me too, Elizabeth!
I know my attitude stinks lately – I feel unappreciated, and I worry to much about everything. But I am SO SCARED…..this is our last year of homeschooling, then our daughter will leave for college. I don’t know what I am going to do. I have been homeschooling for 24 years. My husband thinks I should be excited, but I’m not. I would love to adopt or foster, but my husband is going to retire next year, and it’s not something he wants to do.
I’ve felt convicted about being a perfectionist lately. It really causes me to stress out. So for the past 2 days I’ve just taken a break and enjoyed some quiet time and being with my kids.
Lis Ann says
My church’s Women’s Conference was this weekend (Designed For Life – http://designedforlifeconference.org) and our theme was “She Is The Revolution.” Lately I have felt discouraged in the environment of my household because I have this passion for adventure and living full out for Christ, but my husband doesn’t seem to be at that point. He used to be, but then anger, bitterness, and poor habits of the past have consumed his time and focus.
Lately, and especially this weekend, God has convicted and strengthened me to have the courage to keep fighting for HIS place in our home. I can’t do it on my own, but even when my efforts seem to turn up fruitless, I need to keep “singing” and praying that God is going to make that change, even if it begins with me being the example and praying without ceasing for my husband’s heart to become God’s. It’s not about me anymore and what I’m doing wrong or right and wondering why God or I are not the top priorities. It’s just about my fervent prayer, devotion, and faith that God is going to work a miracle in this marriage.
Tricia Goyer says
Prayer makes all the difference! You can’t change others, but you can allow God to change you. It’s sounds like you’re on the right track and that God has GOOD plans for your life and marriage!
Robin Christofaro says
I have been feeling like I need to write. I imagine I’ll steer myself towards Christian Fiction once I perfect my craft. I just want to add something good and positive to the world of chaos we live in.
Rachel Miller says
I attended an ATI conference this year and The Lord convicted me about the way I speak to my children.
My mom has been telling me for years that I sounded too harsh sometimes when I was upset or “at the end of my rope”. All moms go there at some point.
While at the conference, I was led to release years of built up bitterness and then, without even realizing what I was doing, that attitude started to change.
It was not an instantaneous thing and it hasn’t been easy but I am tickled to say that everyone has noticed the difference.
Rachel Miller says