Our Walled-Off Hearts
Recently, a reader on my blog wrote something quite astute: “As much as tearing the walls down hurts, it doesn’t seem to be as painful as maintaining them.”
We live in a walled-off world—walls we erect because we’ve been hurt by someone or several someones. It seems easier (and safer) to protect our hearts at any cost, brick by brick. But the problem comes when that wall becomes the very fortress that prevents joy in our lives.
I’ve so been there.
I’ve suffered relational heartache. So much so that my walls became towers of protection, and I hid my heart from risking with people. Because people are shifty, and, in my mind, were bent on hurting me. Better to build, brick by brick.
But if I’m completely honest with you, I am sad to say I’ve caused relational heartache. I’ve injured. I’ve been the cause of other people building walls. I wish it weren’t so.
So here we sit with pain between us and the people in our lives. We’ve hurt. They’ve hurt. And the wall grows.
There has to be a way through, right? There must be more to life than expending extreme amounts of energy in self-protection and preservation. What if we could find a way through the pain?
I believe there is, which is why I wrote The Wall Around Your Heart: How Jesus Heals You After Others Hurt You.
As I walked through my own relational pain and learned to deal with the bitterness that had enabled me to build a huge wall around my heart, I knew the only way out was Jesus. As the most openhearted person to walk this earth, all I could do was ask Him to please-please-please show me how to move on and live the joyful life that always seemed elusive to me.
And He showed me. Boy did He show me—through His own words.
The Wall Around Your Heart is the journey I took from embittered to openhearted, from living in reaction to the past to living joyfully in the present tense. The pathway I take you through is simply this: The Lord’s Prayer.
Did you know that this prayer is relational? Did you know there are secrets embedded in this prayer that will help you move on after heartache? Did you know this ancient roadmap will teach you how to have the life you’ve longed for—a life of abundance and hope—even after people hurt you again?
After reading The Wall Around Your Heart, not only will you reframe your relationships and learn to live openhearted, but you’ll never pray The Lord’s Prayer the same way again. This pathway has utterly, truly changed my life, and it’s my sincere prayer that it will radically alter the course of your life.
So if you’ve built a great big wall around your heart and you’ve finally grown tired of living in isolated fear, consider picking up The Wall Around Your Heart.
Steps You can Take
- Read through the Lord’s Prayer using the PDF here. Ask, which part of the prayer am I having the most difficulty with in my relationships?
- Ask a close friend, “Where do you see me putting up walls around my heart?” Dare to listen!
- Write a letter of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you. Don’t mail the letter.
- Look over your past two weeks & how you’ve interacted with your family. If you feel you’ve done something worth apologizing for, dare to take that first step and say, “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
I don’t want to have a great big wall around my heart. I realize it protects me, but it also prevents real joy in my life. Give me the guts and bravery I need to tear the wall down, risk again in healthy relationships, and be an openhearted person. Give me courage, Jesus, because I need it.
Mary DeMuth is an author and speaker who loves to help people live uncaged, freedom-infused lives. She’s the author of fifteen books, including six novels and her critically acclaimed memoir, Thin Places. After church planting in Southern France, Mary, her husband, and their three teenagers now live in a suburb of Dallas. Find out more at marydemuth.com.
About The Wall Around Your Heart and a Giveaway
Family members hurt us. Friends betray us. Fellow Christians deceive us. But Jesus provides a path through the pain—the Lord’s Prayer.
In The Wall Around Your Heart, Mary DeMuth shows you that you can reach wholeness and healing in the aftermath of painful relationships by following the road map of the Lord’s Prayer. You’ll walk through story after story of hurt people who are led through biblical truth into amazing, life-sustaining, joyful growth.
Life is hard. People can be mean and petty and awful. But they can also be amazing and beautiful and sacrificial. God is good. He is faithful. You can trust him with your relationships. “He’ll send people to call out what is hard in your heart,” Mary shares. “And that’s a gift to you.”
Allow God to access the wall around your heart. Dare to say, “Tear down the bricks, Lord, whatever it takes.” Pray first. Ask for bravery—for yourself and for others. Risk engaging despite your hurt. Seek the shelter of Jesus.
You don’t have to resign yourself to your wounds! You can rise above the pain. You’ll usher in a new life—an openhearted way of relating to others that expands the kingdom of God. In the process, you’ll draw closer to Jesus, be healed, and become an agent of healing to others.
Mary is giving away SIX copies of The Wall Around Your Heart! Enter below. Only those in the U.S. are eligible to win.