A Place to Breathe | Guest Post by Kayleigh

Today’s guest blogger is a special young woman in my life. I’d giver her more of an introduction, but you’ll see why she’s so special to me from her own words. I will say that if God has put a young person on your heart step out of your comfort zone and become a mention. You’ll never know the full impact until eternity.

As I sit here in my room and think back it’s overwhelming for me to see how much we have been through and how much others have stepped in and helped us. As a little girl of sexual, mental, physical, and emotional abuse it was very hard for me to trust ANYONE, and whoever was closest I usually pushed them away! But yet this one AMAZING lady kept loving on me no matter what I did and how I acted, FRANKLY it was a little WEIRD! As a 15 year old who just gave birth, I was hurt, lost, and broken yet she still loved me for me–and trust me you can read about it all over the internet because she’s written about me many times. That “lady,” well, she is a well-known author. Her name is Tricia Goyer, and she knows all my dirt 🙂 I will never forget me seeing the reality of me, it sunk in while I read an article called Awaiting The Transformation. I now call this lady MY MOM 🙂

Nathan, who is now my husband, and I had ton of baggage from our parents. SO WHY ON EARTH DID GOD PLACE US TOGETHER????  Well, I’ll tell you a little bit about how much God DOES, AND WILL CHANGE, THOSE WHO ARE WILLING! In the book Breathe By Nicole Bromley she talks about mentoring… and the more I read it I can see how ALL THINGS WORK OUT FOR THE GLORY OF GOD! Nate and I were 15 year old parents and so hurt from our past, the thing we needed most where people who we could look up to and in Nicole Bromley’s words could “breathe new life into” us.

Tricia breathed hope into our lives for three years before we even thought of making any changes. I hate to think of what would have happened if she would have become frustrated and gave up after one year, or two.

“We have to know the person who we are dealing with and that takes time,” says Nicole Bromley.

If you’re trying to help someone, don’t just go all in and start telling him or her what to do or how to “fix” things. Instead take time and get to know the person and what their exact situations are.

If Tricia would have just said, “Why are you living together? Don’t smoke its bad for you. Can you be nice to the other moms?” etc, I would have just pushed her away, but she spoke a little at a time and LOVED me for me first. Soon I was able to have space to Breathe!

“Being a person who is available, welcoming, nonjudgmental, and authentic stands out like a familiar face in a crowd of strangers,” writes Nicole Bromley.

I don’t know how many times I would call Tricia (Mom) day or night with questions or problems that were tearing at my heart. And NOT ONCE did she say, “Can I call you back?” Not only that, Tricia’s husband John had open arms for us as well. He is the male influence that has helped my husband be the man he is today. They NEVER judged and ALWAYS had time, and trust me IT TOOK TIME for us to let them in! (You can Google Tricia Goyer + Kayleigh and you’ll see even more about us, especially from the last 6 months, because my husband our three children and I are living with them! We left our home in Montana to come here because life without them was a little CRAZY 🙂

“Once I knew that she wasn’t going to give up on me, I knew I could trust her. She always tells me that she is never going to stop loving me, caring about me, or being there for me. For once in my life, after being so hurt and misled though love and trust in my childhood, I could actually allow myself to believe it,” a young woman wrote in Breathe about her mentor. When I heard, “You can do it Kayleigh,” I BELIEVED it!

So, even if you’re sick of this person you’re trying to mentor…DO NOT GIVE UP!

“Not only did she believe in me, but she also helped me to begin to believe in myself. She never let me say ‘I’m giving up,’ even though that’s what I felt like doing. She made me see that there’s a light at the end of this and that my life will be richer because I allowed myself to face the truth” ~ Nicole Bromley

AND NOW all because these two loving people got down to our level, and got down and dirty in our mess, we can now say, YES WE CAN DO IT! We learned this through the marriage classes they MADE us take, to the EVERY Sunday dinners at their house, to the wedding THEY gave us. Papa John (my DAD) even performed the wedding ceremony. I can say DON’T GIVE UP! God is GOOD!

What a mess we came from, but because of MENTORS we have not only found the LOVE of God but we are able to see things in HIS perspective.

“I have a burning desire to return the favor by investing myself in the lives around me. I long to make the same level of difference in someone else’s life and future. This explains why so many mentors do what they do. They long to give from what they have received.” ~ Nicole Bromley. (WELL ENOUGH SAID!)

So I encourage you to step out, make time for others, and get to know them before giving advice. LOVE on someone today because you just may be the person to bring a breath of fresh air into their hearts. Offer a hurting person A PLACE TO BREATHE!

“Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary.” ~Francis Assisi

Romans 8:28
The Message (MSG) Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

My name is Kayleigh. I am from Coarm, Montana — “the gate way to Glacier National Park”. I was sexually, physically, verbally and emotionally abused and used, witch lead to teen pregnancy at the age of 15 and again at 18! My husband and I found Jesus and got married 18! My baby daddy (now hubby) and I are currenty going on yr 12 and I love him more each year! We have been through more than words could ever say! My blog, Finding the Real Me, is about abuse, teen pregnancy, human trafficking, fighting for marriage, and how GOD can really restore brokenness!!!