I know that there are many, many people like me. When it comes to “wanting to be in the know” we love stuff that’s bloggable, google-able, and repeatable. That’s why I’m introducing (drum-roll please . . .) GUEST BLOGGERS. A few times every week, I’m going to introduce you to some of my friends who just happen to be wise and inspiring. They’re going to share about their “Real Life” as writers and God-followers.
To show them your welcome, be sure to tell your friends, post your comments, and check out their websites and blogs.
My first guest is Mary DeMuth. Mary’s articles have appeared in places like Marriage Partnership, In Touch, HomeLife, Discipleship Journal.
Mary’s books include Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God (Harvest House, 2005), Sister Freaks (Time Warner, 2005), Building the Christian Family You Never Had (WaterBrook, 2006), Watching the Tree Limbs, and Wishing on Dandelions (NavPress, both novels releasing in 2006). In 2003, she won the Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference’s Pacesetter Award. 
This is Mary.
Check her out at:
and
www.relevantblog.blogspot.com
She’s my kind of girl, and I know you’re going to enjoy her words. I did! (And I have to admit I thought I was the only one who was obsessive about Amazon rankings!)
Publishing Doesn’t Validate Your Life
by Mary DeMuth
Someone I respect in the publishing business recently made this statement: Publishing doesn’t validate your life. How true.
I have to admit before I was published, I thought that if I reached that nirvana called “published author,” I’d have sweet validation. Every day would be smiles and dancing. You know what? I was wrong. Being published is terrific, mind you, but it doesn’t bring happiness or validation. Instead, it adds more stress to your life.
Gone are the days when I could write for the sheer joy of it. Always looming is a deadline. And though I pinch myself because I “get” to write, and I feel like I’m doing what I was created to do, I sometimes get lost in the cycle of publicity, sales and marketing.
Maybe I’m the only one (and I’m embarrassed to admit this publicly), but I check my Amazon ratings for the three books I have in print. I know, know, know that these ratings mean very little. I know that a high rank (which is bad) just means that during that hour the book didn’t sell. I know that if a band of readers (like a book club) went together and bought ten of my books in one hour, my rating would shoot lower (which is good). But it doesn’t mean anything.
Why do I pester myself with such nonsense? After all, publishing doesn’t validate my life, right?
It’s like this weird endless cycle of neediness. It evolves in incremental steps of if onlys:
1. If only I could be published in a magazine, even if I’m not paid.
2. If only I could be paid to be published in a magazine.
3. If only I could go to a writer’s conference and have an agent show an interest in my proposal.
4. If only I could sign with an agent.
5. If only that agent could sell my work.
6. If only I could have more than one contract.
7. If only I could earn out the advance for the book I wrote.
8. If only I could sell enough books so a publisher would want another book from me.
9. If only a publisher would treat a midlist author like me kindly.
10. If only I could make a living at writing.
That’s a lot of if onlys!
I remember reading about blocked goals once and it’s stuck with me. A blocked goal is a goal that is dependent on other’s actions or happenstance. All these if onlys fit, albeit somewhat awkwardly, as blocked goals. I don’t have any control over whether I’ll get a contract offered. I can’t make people buy my books. I can’t make my book sell enough to earn back an advance. I can’t control the fickleness of this industry.
What I can do is create goals that can’t be blocked. Goals like:
1. I will listen to the heartbeat of God and write what He inspires me to write.
2. I will not let writing, by God’s strength, overshadow the needs of my family.
3. I will write the best books I can write, always seeking to improve, abounding in humility and teachability.
4. I will be patient when sales wane and trust God’s sovereignty.
5. I will promote my books with this motivation: to see the kingdom of God advanced.
6. I will laugh at the unpredictability of this industry and strive to be lighthearted.
7. I will serve others and not let elusive and fleeting fame (if that happens) inflate my head.
8. I will attend conferences, read writing books, and welcome critique.
9. I will serve my readers by praying for them and answering emails when God provides time.
10. I will write for the sheer joy of it, not despising unpublished words.
So, yeah, publishing does not validate me. Sure it feels great to hold my book in my hands. It’s lovely when I get a good review. But it’s the hand of God on my life that brings me ultimate validation. That God stooped to earth and chose me, a frail, needy girl, stops my heart every time. And by His grace, I will carry on.
Hi Mary,
I enjoy reading your words. They always seem to come when I need some encouragement.
These past few weeks have been crazy and the only thing that’s kept me going is revising my story. Usually when I’m stressed I can’t write. However this time, I wanted to get away from my world and enter a world I created.
I’ve learned family always come first. God, family and writing. I enjoy writing, but I know my kids are little for only a little while. My mother isn’t here forever and my husband needs a little of my time too. Even if I do become published that will never change.
LaShaunda,
Thanks for your comment! You’re so right about family first. Although isn’t it easier dealing with the imaginary people that we make up in our mind?! They actually do what we say. Ha!
Tricia
Tricia, I enjoyed this piece with Mary DeMuth. Looking forward to more from you.
hugs,
Vicki
LaShaunda,
It’s a struggle I have too. And when I’m under deadline, I agonize about how little time I can spend with my kids. But God helps by giving me time to take. The question is, can I set my words down long enough to be present? I pray I obey that still voice more and more.
To Mary: I read your article here again and loved all the important points you outlined. Amen, sister! Publishing is a fickle industry, and once we write a book, it’s out of our hands for sure. But just so you know, you’ve done a great job with these books, and I appreciate learning all I can from authors like you and Tricia. You’re both blazing a path before me so I pay close attention to the advise/counsel you offer:-)
Once my writer’s site is done, I’d like to invite you both to visit, post, peruse, or allow me the privilege of interviewing you both. Whatcha say?
God bless your writing!
Vicki,
Sounds great! I look forward to seeing your site.
Mary
Vicki,
Count me in too. I’d love to be included on your site.
And remember . . . we were where you are. God worked mighty ways through us, and I KNOW He’ll do the same with you!