Have you ever been in an argument with your husband that makes you feel a little crazy?
I am noticing a pattern in my marriage. When my husband and I argue over something very trivial or insignificant—the type of conflict that becomes more about a fight over words or tone rather than the initial source of tension—it is in that moment of feeling completely crazy that I am confronted and convicted about an even larger issue: intimacy!
A question pops into my head: How long has it been since we were intimate with each other?
The usual answer is that is has been more than a week. For some reason when we lack in this area, our relationship becomes volatile, our patience with each other is thin, and our responses are less done in love.
Without nurturing a close connection our bodies cry out for each other, but because of our pride and not being willing to initiate for any reason leaves us fighting against each other instead of drawing near to each other.
When I realize this in the middle of an argument, the last thing I want to do is cultivate intimacy. In fact, my motivation is usually to argue my point because I know I am right, I know I am not the crazy one.
However, if one of us does not give in to love, our proud hearts would ruin our relationship. It is not an easy process, but it is possible. After realizing that what we really need is intimacy, my husband or I will ask if we can pray about our situation. Going before God with our hurt and our reasoning is very humbling. Praying together helps both of us submit to The Lord’s will, and we almost always feel immediate peace.
If you and your husband have been struggling in a crazy cycle where you both are not understanding or agreeing with each other, I encourage you to examine your heart and see if the real need is true intimacy. Ask your husband to pray with you, and have faith that God will reconcile you to each other!
My name is Jennifer Smith and Unveiled Wife is my personal blog. I am a Christian, a wife and a mother of one. These are my three most important priorities in life, in that order.
Unveiled Wife launched in March of 2011. I first began this blog to share with other wives the struggles and the healing I encountered in my first few years of marriage. By God’s grace it has grown into much more than I could ever have imagined, reaching women from all around the world joined together in our community of .
I believe that if you want a thriving marriage, you must be intentional about it.
My passion motivating every post is to encourage other women in their role as a wife, focusing on the foundational principles about marriage revealed throughout the Bible. I write on faith, marriage and motherhood… and the occasional random post that may not fit perfectly into one of those categories.
My goal is to create an atmosphere where women feel safe to share their marriage experiences, find encouragement and affirm each other. You can connect with me on Facebook and Twitter.