comparison Archives - Tricia Goyer

As believers, we all know we are special creations, unique and precious to God. Yet why do we struggle with comparing our lives, our bodies, our kids, and our talents (or lack of talents) with others? In reality, we need to look past who we “dream” to be and consider God’s dreams instead.

In God’s word, we read: “God-of-the-Angel-Armies speaks: ‘Exactly as I planned, it will happen. Following my blueprints, it will take shape,” says Isaiah 14:24 (The Message).

The word “planned” here is translated as “compare.” [i] It’s as if God has weighed the different possibilities, looked at them from all angles, and then chose the best way. He makes the blueprints . . . then He constructs them into our reality.

This is the life the Lord has constructed for us. Not the life, body, health, or circumstances we wished we’d had. Or the perfect life we can never attain. But the blueprints and the form He is forming into reality.

“Remember your history, your long and rich history. I am God, the only God you’ve had or ever will have—from the beginning telling you what the ending will be, all along letting you in on what is going to happen, amazing you,” we read in Isaiah 46:10-11. “I’m in this for the long haul, I’ll do exactly what I set out to do.” (The Message)

It’s okay to have longings.

But even before we worry about what we desire for our lives, the first step is to not let our dreams motivate us, but instead let His.

God has longings for us even greater than we imagine, and He’s willing to tell us these things as we seek Him out.

All of us have a problem with comparing. How do we deal with it? (Revised from Tricia’s book Generation NeXt Parenting.)

1. Discover your passion . . . and be okay with it.

“Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well,” says Galatians 6:4, “and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct” (NLT).

As long as I can stand before my Maker and see pleasure in His eyes, why do I wonder about what others think . . . or worry I don’t measure up? When I seek God, do what He asks, find joy where my passion lies, and feel His pleasure, then comparisons won’t matter.

2. Cultivate a Quiet, Happy Heart.

“God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans,” says Psalm 131:1-2. “I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.” (The Message)

God’s arms are open to us, and He wants nothing more than for us to be content there. We don’t need to be king of the mountain, queen of the slim and beautiful, prince of the popular, or princess of grandiose plans. Through prayer and focus on God, our quiet hearts will remind us He is enough.

3. Conform to Christ.

“Conforming to the image of God is a long and steady process of internal change as we abide in Christ. People simply do not change overnight, nor can they be forced to do so,” write Neil Anderson and Robert Saucy, authors of The Common Made Holy. “Abiding in Christ is being yoked to the gentle Jesus (Matthew 11:29).” [ii][ii]

If we are connected with Jesus, have a quiet heart, and focused on our passions … what is there to compare? God has us just where He wants us … in His hands.

What can be better than that?

Additional Resources

Want to learn more about soul care and having a Happy Heart? Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love through Chaotic Circumstances will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Peace and joy can be yours—no matter what life dishes up.

Have you ever wondered what can be gained by cheering each other on? On this episode of The Tricia Goyer Show, I chat about my book with Todd and Brooke Tilghman (Every Little Win), and how we can all use our gifts and talents to support each other. From homeschooling parent to homeschooling parent, I reached out to the Tilghmans and helped them by writing their book. But all throughout my life, I’ve benefited greatly by not comparing myself to others (I have a GREAT story about when I did, though). We can each use our gifts and talents to support each other! You’ll want to be sure to listen to the end of the episode because there is a fun surprise waiting! I know you are going to enjoy this episode.

The new year is here! What resolutions are at the top of your list? Eat better. Exercise once a day. Volunteer more. Before you create a whole new you for 2017, take some time to consider what’s fueling your goals. For many women, comparison is primary motivator.

Have you ever compared yourself with other women–other moms or co-workers–and felt like you didn’t match up? (Guilty).

We call it the comparison game, but in the end we are the big losers.

Do you feel discouraged? Do you see others having success at all levels and wonder when it will be your turn? Are you ready to fold your cards and walk away?

We all know we are special creations, unique and precious to God. Yet why do we struggle with comparing our lives, our bodies, our kids, and our talents (or lack of talents) with others? Why do we feel as if we keep passing GO, but we never get that $200?

I often do this with my writing. I find myself comparing my success with others. I look at the bestseller list with longing. I consider the “big” advances and media fan-fare some authors receive, and then I sigh.

I do this with myself. I compare my talents, my disciple, and I especially compare my body. How come my friend can eat anything she wants and stay slim? Why do I have to walk and watch what I eat just to maintain? These thoughts aren’t a game either. They lock me up tight and keep me from caring for and rejoicing with others.

I do this with so many areas of my life. I wonder why the hard stuff comes. I wonder why struggles come my way. Why aren’t my dreams coming true?

In reality, we (me included) need to look past who I “dream” to be and consider God’s dreams instead. God not only knows the game and the rules, He is able to give us the perfect strategies to win … if we just focus on Him, and His plan.

“God-of-the-Angel-Armies speaks: ‘Exactly as I planned, it will happen. Following my blueprints, it will take shape,” says Isaiah 14:24 (The Message).

The word “planned” here is translated “compare.” It’s as if God has weighed the different possibilities, looked at them from all angles, and then chose the best way. He makes the blueprints . . . then He constructs them into our reality. God created our game of LIFE and then He stacks the cards so that when we turn to Him we’ll always win.

The life we have is the one constructed for us. It’s not the life, body, health, or circumstances we wished we’d had (or hope to having in the coming year). Or the perfect life we can never obtain. But the blueprints and the form He is transforming into reality.

“Remember your history, your long and rich history. I am God, the only God you’ve had or ever will have—from the beginning telling you what the ending will be, all along letting you in on what is going to happen, amazing you,” we read in Isaiah 46:10-11. “I’m in this for the long haul, I’ll do exactly what I set out to do.” (The Message)

It’s OK to have longings and goals. No one can get through life without comparing, but even before we worry about what we desire for our lives, the first step is to not let our dreams motivate us, but instead let His.

God has longings for us even greater than we imagine, and He’s willing to tell us these things as we seek Him out. He knows that comparisons will not get us far, but focusing our eyes on the eternal prize will.

Will you put God’s desires for you above your own this year? Will you seek Him today? Pray. Open your heart. And dare to listen to God’s dreams for you. Ask God to show you what He wants for you this year. There is no comparison in His love for you!

This new year, don’t let your dreams motivate you, but instead let HIS. @TriciaGoyer

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In My Dreams: The Struggle with Comparing Ourselves to Others