Couples

October 9, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 5 Comments

30 Cheap & Fun Date Ideas

Have your date nights turned into a routine dinner and a movie? Remember how much fun you used to have when you first started dating? I asked friends for suggestions and came up with a list of 30 great date ideas.

Spice up date night with a few of these ideas! @TriciaGoyer

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Download and print the checklist!

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Here are some ideas to bring fun back into your dates — without going broke!

1.

My husband and I do bike dates. After riding our bikes for an hour or so, we stop at KFC and get it to go. Then we ride to our local park where we eat and play Yahtzee. It’s alot of fun. ~Suzanne

2.

You can put a different twist on the ho-hum dinner date by having one spouse kidnap his/her mate. I did this one time—kidnapped my hubby from work (I set it up ahead of time with his boss). Made him get into the car and I started driving. He didn’t know where we were going. We drove for well over an hour and pulled into a lovely lake-side park (I had scouted out the location weeks earlier). Then I pulled a picnic basket, packed with all his favorites, out of the trunk. I even stuck in a loaf of day-old bread for feeding the ducks. ~Connie

3.

Sometimes we like to send our kids to the grandparents, and get our favorite take out and watch movies at home. ~Erin

4.

Geocaching ~Betsy

5.

Star gazing. Watch websites like space weather or NASA’s Hubble pictures for a good event coming up. Plan ahead for a clear night, get blankets, binoculars, and, perhaps, a picnic basket of yummies and spend an evening under the stars with your love. ~Robert

6.

A local arboretum has night hikes once a month & then go for coffee & donuts. ~Lisa

7.

As recent newlyweds, the hubs and I have discovered that dates don’t have to happen exclusively at night. We combine a picturesque drive with either a picnic or a meal at a restaurant (often one from Diners, Drive Ins and Dives) depending on the budget and time constraints. We bring along the camera and take lots of pictures. Even if we only have a couple of hours, we make the most of them. ~Kathleen

8.

One time I surprised my husband by taking him to the local high school basketball game. It was winter and I just wanted to get out of the house without spending a lot—and the school was three blocks away. We had toddler children, so we aren’t plugged into HS sports at all, but it was fun to watch the antics of the high school kids and cheer on the school that my girls will eventually go to HS at. He totally didn’t see that one coming. ~Tabitha

9.

Barnes and Noble. Read to your heart’s content. ~Trisha

10.

A ballroom dance class. Bowling. Museum. Arcade/billiards. One of those ceramic paint-it-yourself places. Live music (usually free at parks in the summer). ~Sandra

11.

One year, I had talked about wanting to take ballroom dancing, but our funds were really low. My husband downloaded a bunch of free music into a playlist and found dance steps online, printed them, and put them in my stocking for Christmas. Free and thoughtful! Can even do it after children are in bed if you can’t pay babysitter! ~Sarah

12.

Our inexpensive take on dinner-and-a-movie dates has been fast food and then browsing through the free stacks of movies at the local library for a fun show to take home. Popcorn and chocolate milk round out the night with a fun but inexpensive treat! ~Arlene

13.

You know i’m super girlie and I know this sounds so redneck but going to a shooting range. Sometimes doing something boyish isn’t so bad. They have pretty guns to choose from and they have targets that you can play games on like battleship or hangman. ~Liz

14.

We often play miniature golf. Loser buys ice cream! ~Carrie

15.

A walk, that’s what I want, a nice long walk and some conversation. ~Jennifer

16.

Riding 4 wheelers or horses. And my son just got a Rzr, which is really cool. ~Pam

17.

We usual will go out to eat and then go to a local park with walking trails and we walk together and talk. ~Beth

18.

Going to the gym then hanging out in the pool & hot tub. ~Naila

19.

Can’t do this everywhere . . . but one of my favorite dates in the winter is a day on the snowmobile with my husband! It’s so beautiful and peaceful. I love it!! ~Denice

20.

Rent snow shoes and go for a walk! Beautiful, peaceful and a great form of exercise. ~Jane

21.

We’ve gone to a Home & Garden Show and then had dinner and talked about what we dreamed we could do; same with going to an RV/Camping Show and talked about “when we retire.” ~Cindy

22.

This takes some advance planning/saving: Take your piggy bank that’s been collecting loose change for a few months, empty it into a Coinstar machine, and collect the cash. The challenge is to do on your date something fun that will be covered by whatever amount of money you came up with…no more. One time we went to Walmart and each person had to choose the most random, funny item that cost half the amount of money we had. We compared, then the winner got to choose a place for dessert or some other small treat. We still have a couple of the items we’ve found! ~Alison

23.

Hubby and I will just jump on the motorcycle and take it somewhere new on a sunny day. We have also (when we were younger) taken the car and driven through some residential developments and “dream” with each other what our favorite house would be. ~Kelly

24.

We love looking around in flea markets and antique stores together, so sometimes we’ll each take a small amount of money (like $5 each) and we’ll pick something out for each other. We have to be sneaky while we’re shopping so the other person doesn’t see what we buy (kind of like Christmas!) Then we drive somewhere else and swap gifts–maybe over a cup of coffee or a shared dessert. You can end up with some really random stuff this way (and some fun memories!) ~Jayna

25.

We like to go to local museums and use the coupons out of the entertainment books. ~Celena

26.

Oh, that’s easy—something active. Like tennis, racquet ball, biking the Big Dam Bridge, or working out together is fun and can be quite romantic and physical. Always a hit with Jon and I. ~Jennifer

27.

My husband and I have great fun when we each take a digital camera and head outdoors for a photo shoot of nature, architecture, etc. In fun, we compete for who can take the best shot. We spend little or no money, and in the process, we find new ways to look at everyday things–including our marriage. ~Diana

28.

My hubby and I may go on an eagle sighting excursion … maybe something similar in the great outdoors. ~Ellen

29.

Community theater is great (and usually free if you volunteer to usher or help with concessions!). Also, a neighborhood coffee shop with (or without) board games. ~Helene

30.

My husband and I love to go to a pottery painting place and make mugs for each other (with hidden messages) or paint project that takes contributions from both of us (we made a turn table with several tiles) and we’ve made all kinds of things. It’s relaxing, we can talk while we do it, yet it’s not face-to-face which is WAY more up a masculine alley! ~Carla

Prayer

God, thank you for the ones I love. Give me the creativity to spend time with them and creatively invest in those relationships.

More Resources

Little Book of Great Dates: 52 Creative Ideas to Make Your Marriage Fun (Focus on the Family Books) by Erin & Greg Smalley

Generation NeXt Marriage: The Couple’s Guide to Keeping It Together by Tricia Goyer

Date Your Wife by Justin Buzzard

Moms! I recommend Treasury of Bible Stories so much, I want to gift one of my readers a copy!

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August 1, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

Friendships: How You And Your Spouse Can Find Friends Together

Does this sound familiar?

WIFE: “Honey, I think we should get to know some other couples. Wouldn’t that be fun?”
HUSBAND: “Maybe someone from church or the office?”
WIFE: “That’s what I was thinking. Why don’t we start with Mike and Lisa?”
HUSBAND: “Lisa is your friend, but Mike and I have nothing in common.” (Mental thought: Mike’s a bit strange, he doesn’t even like football.) “How about the
Palmers?” (Mental thought: Jack likes football.)
WIFE: “I don’t have much in common with—what’s her name—Janine Palmer.” (Mental thought: The Palmer’s have a housekeeper and big house on the river. My place just doesn’t compare.)
HUSBAND: “Perhaps we should invite that new couple in the church, the Jacobsons.”
BOTH: “No, they have seven kids!”

End of conversation.

It happens all the time. Couples want couple-friends—people they can laugh, share, and do activities with. But moving from acquaintances to actual friends can be an arduous journey. As in the example of the couple above, the hardest part is finding other couples who share your common values yet are also fun to be with.

Where do couples begin their search for other couple-friends? http://bit.ly/18NjMCE

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Where do couples begin their search for other couple-friends? And how can they fit all the aspects of developing new relationships into their already busy lives?

WHO DO YOU INVITE?

There are couples all around you—at church, work, and in your neighborhood. The first step is choosing who you want to get to know.

Take A Look Around: Make a mental or written list with of several couples you’d both like to know better, giving each spouse a few individual picks.
Beyond Your Comfort Zone: “While it is helpful to look for friends who share common goals and beliefs, be open to those with different backgrounds and lifestyles,” says Colleen Evens, co-author of Can I Afford Time for Friendships? (Stormie Omartian, Ruth Senter, Colleen Evans, Bethany House, 1994, pg. 176) “Cross the line—don’t look for a couple that’s a clone of you two. When a couple is different from you, the result can often be a very rich, fun, and stretching relationship.”
Get To Know More Than One Couple: As a couple, you have various interests that will never completely match up with another couple. A variety of friends will complement your likes and introduce you and your spouse to new hobbies and interests.
Much Hope and Few Expectations: “Don’t be discouraged when couple friendships don’t come quickly or easily,” says Evans. “Keep in mind they are much more difficult because of the added number of people involved in the relationship. Setting your expectations too high by saying ‘we must have a couple friendship’ only creates stress. Instead, when the opportunities arise, let a friendship flow.”

YOU’VE INVITED THEM, NOW WHAT DO YOU DO?

It can be intimidating when you first spend time with people you don’t know well. But whether you invite them into your home or suggest an alternative meeting spot, here are suggestions to make the most of your time together.

Be Yourselves: Don’t worry about making a good impression. Relax, have fun, and enjoy. Plan ahead so awkward silences don’t sneak up on you. Have board games, videos, or an activity prepared in case your time together needs a little pizzazz.
Offer an Inviting Home: Be willing to open your home, even if it isn’t spotless. If you can’t afford steaks for dinner, barbecue hot dogs. Or go simpler with a dessert invitation.
Away From Home: Often the easiest place to meet is at a restaurant or neutral area. If you ask a couple or two out for a meal, don’t feel you must pick-up the bill. Invite by saying, “We’ve been wanting to get to know you better; perhaps we could meet at a restaurant this week. What’s a place within our budgets?”
Even Farther Away: Camping trips, weekends away, or a couples’ conference are enjoyable ways to develop a deeper friendship and build shared memories.

WHY DO COUPLES NEED COUPLE-FRIENDS?

“Often we get so caught up in our own drive to succeed and accomplish that we neglect our human relationships and it is these relationships that can give us the most depth and meaning,” says Janet Luhrs, in her book The Simple Living Guide (Broadway Books, 1997, Pg. 133). “In order to nurture other people, we need to be fully present and, better yet, fully real. When we let down our guard, we can get closer to people, and thus, we can move into a relationship of deeper care.”

Reaching out to other couples may also strengthen your own marriage.

“Couple friendships are not only possible, they are God’s gift to marriages,” says Stormie Omartian, co-author with Evans. “Some of the women I consider my closest friends are the wives of men whom my husband considers his closest friends. Spending time together as a foursome is not only fulfilling and enriching, but our marriage is better because of it.”

The most rewarding thing about couple-friends is that the relationships you initiate with a simple invitation can grow and deepen over time. The friends you meet at the park today, with their kids in tow, may someday drive their motor home behind yours as you travel as retirees. This is the power of couple-friends, not just good times, but close bonds and enriched lives—for you, your spouse, and the couple you reach out to.

What about you? How do you make couple-friends?

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February 13, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

10 Tips for Young, Married Couples | Part Four

Young, married, need advice? This is the last post in this series, so please pass on these posts to any young, married couples you know! Read Part One. Read Part Two. Read Part Three.

10 Tips:

“Form a long-term relationship with a godly counselor whom you both respect. Let that person ‘walk beside your marriage.” ~Ronna Jones Snyder
“If your spouse’s friend is stirring up trouble between you and your spouse, get rid of that friend.” ~Linda Rand Halbur
“Meet your in-laws first. (I eloped before I met my in-laws, and it created quite a bit of discord.)” ~Becky Wheeler Guinn
“Never, ever allow the word ‘divorce’ to be spoken aloud, and control the tongue during arguments. It’s hard to take back the ‘ugly’ stuff spoken.” ~Kim Shaw
“The feelings of love will fluctuate with time and circumstances, but with commitment, you will press through.” ~Golden Keyes Parsons
“As a couple, you make all the rules. When the rules no longer work, change them.” ~David A Ross
“Love, respect, and honesty are key. And always, always keep the Lord in the center of your marriage.” ~Ellen Crosby
“Never, ever stop trusting that God is in charge. And keep talking to each other.” ~Becky Jacoby
“Take the long view. What is happening now/today isn’t necessarily so for the long term. Always try to picture yourself on the same team, fighting against the Enemy of your soul.” ~Laurie Ostby Kehler
“Never give up and always stay beside each other, especially during trials, sickness, loss, or financial struggles.” ~Angie Kay Webb

Like these tips?

Read Part One.

Read Part Two.

Read Part Three.

What are your tips?

February 11, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 6 Comments

10 Tips for Young, Married Couples | Part Three

I asked my Facebook friends who has been married for at least twenty years what advice they’d give to a young, married couple, and I loved their answers! I have such wise friends. Read Part One. Read Part Two. Read Part Four.

Pass on these posts to any young, married couples you know!

10 Tips for Young, Married Couples Part 3

“Look to the needs of the other first. Marriage isn’t a contest where the most spoiled one wins.” ~Patti Hill
“Communicate, never go to bed angry at each other, and remember the couch is for sitting, not sleeping.” ~MamaPeaches Smith
“A marriage without God and the presence of Jesus is absent of everything else. Let the Lord be the center of your life and the foundation of your marriage.” ~Mary Susan Vaughn
“Treat your spouse as you want to be treated. It’s the little things you sometimes do for each other that shows you care.” ~Susan Conceicao
“Be loving, patience, understanding, and faithful. Be a good listener and put your spouses first. Consult the Lord and pray!” ~Susan Schrader Perrin
“Reaffirm commitment and love daily—leave no room for doubt.” ~Mary Ann Hake
“Don’t bring old arguments into new ones. Past is past. Be willing to say you’re sorry and to forgive when you’ve been wronged.” ~Jan Jackson Peterson
“Your spouse is a gift from and still belongs to God. You are accountable to Him for the way you care for them. When both partners believe this and serve each other accordingly, there is a sweet peace and great pleasure in your marriage.” ~John D Seither
“Don’t compare your spouse to an unrealistic character from a book, movie, or TV show.” ~Stephanie Nickel
“Understand that marriage is hard work but the benefits are wonderful. And be prepared for hard times—as my husband of thirty years says, it’s during hard times that a couple grows into one.” ~Patty Smith Hall

Like these tips?

Read Part One.

Read Part Two.

Read Part Four.

February 7, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 10 Comments

10 Tips for Young, Married Couples | Part Two

I asked my Facebook friends who have been married for at least twenty years what advice they’d give to a young, married couple, and I loved their answers! I have such wise friends. You can Read Part One. Read Part Three. Read Part Four.

Pass on these posts to any young, married couples you know!

10 Tips for Young, Marriage Couples Part 2

“Keep the minor thing minor.” ~Carol Burton McLeod
“Respect, respect, respect. Don’t argue; discuss. Pray together about decisions. Don’t let the kids ‘play’ you off each other. Tickle often.” ~Lee S. King
“Always think longterm. In twenty years from now, will I be glad I fought for this? Will it be important in forty years that I got my way on this, or that he followed my advice, or that I didn’t really agree on this little thing? When I stand before God, will this be something I want to have come up and give account for on Judgment Day? How must I live with my man in order to hear God say to me, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy and rest of your Master’?” ~Carla Anne Funk Coroy
“Start out right, financially. Give every dollar a name before you spend it!” ~Regina Rudd Merrick
“Pray specifically for your husband, especially when you don’t feel like it.” ~Audra Krell
“Keep Christ first, maintain a sense of humor, look on the bright side (and there is always a bright side), and marriage is not 50/50—it’s 100/100.” ~Robin Bordwine Nichols
“After thirty-six years of marriage, I can honestly say that laughter—especially being able to laugh at yourself—plays a huge part in a marriage. Another biggie is to choose your friends wisely, i.e. don’t hang around with people who cut down their own or other spouses. Negativity breeds contempt. And finally, don’t give your man any reason to suspect you’re looking elsewhere because their insecurity leads to all sorts of unnecessary emotional trouble, to say the least.” ~Anita Mae Draper
“Don’t put anyone before your spouse . . . except Christ. Children come into your life and then they’re gone, but your spouse is forever. Laugh, laugh, and then laugh some more.” ~Annette O’Hare
“The three Cs: communicate, communicate, communicate. And the other three Cs: commitment, commitment, commitment.” ~Rachel Williams
“Be a servant to your spouse, put their needs above your own, just as Christ was a servant to us and laid down his very life for us. Cherish the spouse God specifically chose for you.” ~Laura Malear Bethuy

Like these tips?

Read Part One.

Read Part Three.

Read Part Four.

February 5, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 17 Comments

10 Tips for Young, Married Couples | Part One

I asked my Facebook friends who have been married for at least twenty years what advice they’d give to a young, married couple, and I loved their answers! I have such wise friends. Read on as I share 10 Tips for Young Married couple. Pass this on to any young, married couples you know!

“I’ve been married for thirty-four years. Treat each other with love and respect. Be each other’s biggest cheerleaders. Put God in the center of your relationship by praying for each other. Don’t badmouth each other in front of others.” ~Tamera Lynn Warden Kraft

“Keep the cross at the center of your marriage. Be willing to lose disagreements. You don’t always have to be right. And laugh together as much as possible.” ~Diane Day

“Pray with each other every day. Out loud, holding hands. Keep dating long after the wedding and especially after the kids come along. Remember a good marriage doesn’t just happen. You have to work at it.” ~Michelle Shocklee

“Actively keep love alive. Set aside time to be together. Go on dates. Use creativity to spark romance and keep the embers burning.” ~Dana Arcuri

“Laugh, forgive, play . . . ” ~Kathleen O’Donnell Grone

“Put each other before extended family. If they (family, parents, etc.) really love you, they will agree.” ~Penny Raine

“Never, ever cut down or criticize your husband in public or in front of your children or close family. Husbands thrive on encouraging and uplifting words from their wives. You can actually see them stand or sit higher when getting compliments from their wives. I haven’t been perfect at this, but I know the importance of it after twenty-six years of marriage.” ~Elizabeth Wehman

“Always remember that when you married, you made a vow to your spouse and to God. When things get tough (and they will), honor your vow to God.” ~Lucy Ann Moll

“Your spouse is not your enemy.” ~Pam Halter

“Divorce is not an option. And love covers a multitude of sins.” ~Michelle Strite Hortenberry

Like these tips? Read More!

Tips for Young, Married Couples: Part 2

Tips for Young, Married Couples: Part 3

Tips for Young, Married Couples: Part 4