friendship

January 27, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Honest Conversations about Racism

Over the last few years, it’s sadly evident that we still struggle with racism in America. Yet even when our hearts ache, it’s hard to know what to do or say. What can we say to let others know we care and want to be involved in honest conversations about race? The good news is that we don’t have to figure it out alone. Instead, we can “listen in” to honest conversations to better understand how to respond.

Reggie Dabbs and John Driver are friends who have allowed themselves to be uncomfortable in order to speak from their hearts about racism. In their book, Not So Black and White, these two men open themselves up to conversations about racism from a Christian perspective.

Through Reggie and John’s honest conversations, readers:

Hear the stories of fellow believers who have found ways to reach across the racial barrier with humility, empathy, and forgiveness
Understand a simple yet robust history of racism in America and in the church, including its role in systems, policies, and individual actions
Discover fully biblical yet culturally wise responses to the challenges of racism in yourself and your community
Come away with fresh thought processes and practical steps for what you can do to think rightly and engage bravely in conversations and actions to end racism

I loved talking to Reggie and John, and I know you’ll enjoy this conversation. Listen in!

If you are enjoying the show, I have a quick favor to ask! If you haven’t yet hit the subscribe button and left a rating and a review on iTunes, please take a moment and do so! I love reading your reviews and it keeps the algorithms happy so new listeners can find the podcast as well!

Thanks to this week’s Sponsor Lynette Eason’s Critical Threat

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July 22, 2022 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Find a Friend and Be a Friend

Okay, it’s time to get real. I have a question to ask. So, how is your friend’s situation? If you’re like many women you might feel as if you know a lot of people, but you have very few close friends—you know the kind where you can show up without makeup or your hairbrush and know you won’t be judged.

How to Find a Friend and Be a Friend

Maybe you’ve asked yourself, Am I the only one who’s lonely? Am I the only one without friends?

If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston, founders of the widely popular “Sister, I Am with You,” are raising their hands to say, “Yeah, us too.” In this podcast, we’re going to talk about what it takes to find a friend and be a friend. Hopefully, you’ll be encouraged, equipped, and reassured as you discover what it takes to build the kind of friendships you want.

Amy and Jess are the authors of the book, I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants). This is a very authentic read that provides you with the how of cultivating deep relationships in this messy, chaotic, beautiful life. Through Amy and Jess’s wisdom and humor, you’ll learn how to

admit you need friends—then go out and find them,
dismantle the lies you’ve believed about friendship,
love yourself so you can find people who will love you for you,
be a good friend even though you can’t be a perfect one, and
heal from a friend breakup—and find the courage to try again.

It’s time you felt completely accepted as you are—from the top of your messy bun to the tips of your unpedicured toes. Let’s start making friendships a priority—together. And let’s do that by enjoying this podcast!

Mentioned in This Episode

Jess + Amy on Good Morning America
I’ll Be There, But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants | Jess Johnston & Amy Weatherly

Connect with Jess & Amy

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Connect with Tricia

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | BookBub

See Tricia’s Favorites here!

A huge thanks to our July sponsors:

March 22, 2019 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

#WalkItOut Podcast 049: Mary DeMuth

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On this week’s episode of #WalkItOut Podcast, we’re chatting with one of my best friends, Mary DeMuth, about her new book 7 Deadly Friendships.

Today’s guest is Mary DeMuth, and we’re going to chat about friendships. I love friends— and I am blessed with so many friends! Pretty much if we’ve ever talked for more than five minutes, we’re going to be friends for life. Friendships are wonderful. I love getting to know people, I love encouraging them and inspiring them — but I should say, friendship is wonderful … until it’s not. I’ve had those challenges in my life. I’ve had dear dear friends where circumstances pull us apart or people that I’ve gotten to know that as we’ve gotten deeper into our relationship, I’ve discovered that they are not really who I thought they were. Have you’ve ever had a friendship that was difficult, or maybe even deadly? I think it’s helpful to know that sometimes there are those friendships that are not healthy that we need to walk away from. I’m excited to share Mary with you today as she talks about friendships and her new book, 7 Deadly Friendships.

I know you are going to be blessed by this conversation with Mary! You can listen above or on iTunes! I’d love it if you shared with your friends!

Links from the show

7 Deadly Friendships
Writer’s Intensive
Pray Everyday Podcast
Proverbs 6:16-19
Luke 6:27-31

This Week’s Walk It Out Scripture

Zechariah 7:9-10

This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. 10 Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.’

Sponsors
Walk It Out

A special thanks to Life Worship for the use of their song Wide Open Space for my theme song!

Want to hear more from Tricia? Don’t miss these great podcasts:

Surviving Sarah | How to Parent and Calm Angry Kids
The Home and Hearth Podcast: Helping Our Kids Deal with Their Anger
More to Be: Angry Kids and Soft Hearts: Finding the Calm in Motherhood Chaos
Janet Mefferd Today Podcast
Simply Wholehearted: Loving Angry Kids

March 29, 2016 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

4 Ways Your Healthy Friendships Bless Your Kids

I say the same thing every time my kids are about to meet one of my friends: “Oh, you’re just going to love her!” Because of my work as a writer, many of my friends are also writers, and they are scattered all over the US (and world!). We meet up with friends on road trips, and sometimes my friends visit and stay in our home. Having healthy relationships with my friends is important—not only for me, but for my kids. Here’s why:

1. My friendships are a model for my kids.

From my friendships my kids learn how to treat friends, how one should be treated, and how to grow relationships in healthy ways. Kids do what we do, not do what we say. If we want our kids to have healthy friendships, we need to model them! Friendship is a skill that is learned, and the best place for your kids to learn it is from YOU. When you are trustworthy, caring, and honest with your friends, you children will learn to be those things, too.

2. My friendships become my kids’ friendships.

In many cases my friends become my kids’ friends, too, as my children grow. My friends usually have great stories to share, and they have great advice. My 23-year-old daughter has great relationships with many of my friends … and I love it because I know that if they share a story or a bit of advice it will be helpful and godly.

Read the rest of this post on Melissa Nesdahl’s blog!

You can purchase the e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or CBD.

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

February 5, 2015 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

How to be “Involved” in Ways that Really Matter

Have you ever heard this saying by Theodore Roosevelt: “Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care”? Caring takes involvement. Caring takes being present.

We are involved in a lot of things today, but how much time do we take to be involved with people . . . really involved?

How many minutes did you spend on Facebook or email yesterday, compared to having a face-to-face conversation? It’s easy to send out 140-character tweets. It’s harder to really listen and cry with a friend.

Caring for God—loving Him—takes involvement too. It’s easy to listen to Christian music about God, to talk about God, or even to write about God’s goodness without allowing Him to fill us and impact every part of our lives. God is waiting for us to come to Him and be still before Him, yet instead we dance around the outskirts of the relationship, trying to make Him notice us.

Is this you? Sometimes it’s me. If so, we need to remember that we’re not fooling anyone. People know (our kids especially) when we’re really tuned in. Jesus knows what’s needed in our hearts.

“Jesus had a way of helping people see the condition of their hearts,” says Henry Blackaby. “He said, ‘These people draw hear to Me with their mouths, and honor Me with their lips, but their heart is far from me’ (Matt. 15:8) . . . If you want to know if you are responding to God with your head or your heart, look to see what is coming out of your life.”

What is coming out of the relationships in your life: deep connections or surface friendships? What’s coming out of your relationship with God?

Are you ever disappointed with God’s involvement in your life? Does God seem far away during the week when you are trying to make decisions or when you are faced with some kind of difficulty? When we draw close to Him during every day moments, then we’ll have a strong relationship that we can lean on during the hard times.

Involvement means caring.
Involvement means being present.
Involvement means face-to-face conversations.
Involvement means being real.
Involvement means opening our heart to God and allowing Him to show us what’s inside.

Your kids, your husband, your friends, and God are all waiting for you to connect with them today. Take five minutes and list out three ways you can do just that.

I can be involved with my spouse by . . .
I can be involved with my kids by . . .
I can be involved with God by . . .

Not only will they be impact, your life and heart will forever be changed, too.

Get involved. Today.

Caring takes involvement. Caring takes being present. @TriciaGoyer

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July 16, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

God’s Mission & Tool Chest for Moms

The assignment: confirmed in the moment by the Holy-Spirit via telepathic communication.

The command: given by the High Chief to Love One Another (Matthew 22:39).

You close your Bible and check the leather binding to make sure it’s not one of those self-igniting editions. It’s not. And that’s a good thing too, it’s your favorite exhaustive, study edition.

You snap open your super-secret tool chest. (So secret in fact, you have yet to use some of the apparatus.) Inside the chest, next to the pumping, beating gizmo, are some of your most valuable tools: joy, hope, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, genuine concern and words of encouragement. Which do you use? It’s difficult to decide.

You begin to sweat. Not wanting to take any chances, you grab them all. You fasten tight the joy. Slide on your smile. And straighten your apron.

It’s not Mission Impossible. It’s Just “Mission.”

Shifting slightly in your seat, you decide to try out one of the tools. (Just for practice of course.)

“I’m excited about the big account you received yesterday, dear. I’m proud of you.” You reach over and caress your husband’s hand. Amazingly, the sour expression he wore just seconds before immediately dissipates.

Interesting. You make a mental note.

“Really?” He sits a little straighter. “Would you like another cup of coffee?” he asks, reaching for your mug. You accept.

Your eyes narrow as you see your second target dragging herself into the room. You know that hidden behind those pony-tails and knee-socks lies a victim of terrible trepidation. You were informed that today is the all-schooling spelling bee. You pull out the ultimate communications tool, G.C., better know as, Genuine Concern.

Your finger motions the pixie-girl to come closer. You wrap your arms around your daughter’s shoulders and pull her close. “Are you worried about the spell-off?”

Her head slowly nods.

“Would you like me to pray for you?”

She lifts her big brown eyes to yours. Your keen observation picks up a new sparkle. Her head nods again, this time in anticipation.

After you pray and provide a quick peck on the cheek, she skips away to catch her bus. Another instantaneous message breaks through into your gray matter. “Keep up the good work. From Big Boss.”

With a new hop in your own step, you set about to fulfill your cover as a mild-mannered housewife–also known as undercover organizer, meticulous manager and cheer-bringer in the home. A sharp ringing of the phone jars you from your important task of chasing dust bunnies from behind your plaid sofa.

You answer the phone, your mind quickly decoding the cryptic message buzzing through the line.

“Hi, it’s just me. Watcha doing?” It’s your best friend, Misty. Your supersonic sense of hearing picks up a low, slow tone. Something’s wrong.

“Oh, just cleaning,” you answer.

“Well, if you’re busy I can let you go.”

You roll up your to-do-list and shove it into the junk drawer. “I’m not busy at all. Come on over.”

As you scurry around the room tossing toys into every available corner, you realize you’ve been equipped with every tool necessary to fulfill your assignment. As you see your friend’s gray station wagon pulling into the driveway you send a quick message to the Chief. “Thanks in advance for your provisions. Mission’s going well.”

Your heart swells as you pull your best friend into your arms, and you realize that the mission isn’t over yet. In fact, it’s just beginning.

You also realize that when you follow God’s mission, the rewards are top-notch—somehow the secret agent gets a surprise blessing too. A smile, a hug, it doesn’t matter, because more than that, you picture the Bosses’ smile too.

God’s mission for us moms isn’t “mission impossible.” It’s just “mission” (a very important one). @TriciaGoyer

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Mission Tool Chest

Available Apparatus:

Bombardment of Bliss (AKA: Joy)
Covering of Calmness (AKA: Peace),
Unexplainable Endurance (AKA: Patience),
Confident Service (AKA: Kindness),
Detectable Decency (AKA: Goodness),
Undeniable Devotion (AKA: Faithfulness)
Inexplicable Restraint (AKA: Temperance)

Method of Communication: Direct Transmission (AKA: Prayer)

Code Words: “God Help.”

Access Time: Available to Any Agent, Any Time, Any Where

Let’s Pray…

God, I am an honored agent of your love. Let me be sensitive to your nudges, assignments, and commandments. I am ready and willing. Thank you.

I have a few books on sale right now! Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.

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[Modified photo “Top Secret Area” by Marcin Wichary is licensed under CC BY 2.0]

September 16, 2013 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Finding Friendship at Teen MOPS (Plus a Giveaway!)

I attended my first MOPS group at my home church in Kalispell, Montana, in 1998. I was a mom of three young kids, and I loved hanging out with other women, getting to know them, and hearing wonderful speakers. OK, the crafts were good too.

My second year of MOPS I was asked to speak. I remember one meeting when I shared about Once a Month Cooking. Yet as I shared about how my friend and I spent one day cooking 144 meals together, I noticed a young woman in the back of the room. She was a teen mom, and from they way she fidgeted I could tell that she felt completely out of place. My topic was irrelevant, and my heart ached. You see, I was a teen mom, and I remembered the feeling of not fitting in. I had a plan to make a beeline to the young mom as soon as the group was done, but she slipped out early and I never had the chance. I mentioned it to our coordinator, and that’s when she told me about Teen MOPS. A support group for teen moms? I knew it was something I wanted to do.

From teen mom to teen MOPS mentor, @TriciaGoyer shares her Teen MOPS experience:

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Our first MOPS meeting started in 2001. There were thirteen leaders and two moms that first meeting. They next week we had four. The week after that eight young women. The group grew, and I saw God doing amazing things. Many young women grew close to God. They learned how to be better mothers, and friendships were made—friendships between the young moms, friendships between the leaders, and friendships mixed within both.

I have to admit things weren’t easy. The young moms had issues. There was conflict between them. We never seemed to have enough childcare workers, and there were times it seemed that the young women weren’t paying attention to a thing we told them. They made one bad decision after another.

Yet as I poured out, God filled me up. I knew what I was doing was a way to glorify Him. Even if the young women didn’t always respond like I’d hoped, I was loving those who so many others turned their backs on.

The years passed, friendships grew, and in 2010 my family moved to Little Rock, Arkansas. I lived in a new place, but my heart was still drawn to the young mom. In fact—I discovered—Arkansas has the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the nation.

To be joined in a friendship is to have harmony, accord, understanding and rapport. @TriciaGoyer

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Our inner city Teen MOPS group is starting its fourth year. We are serving young women who don’t have dads in the picture, often don’t have the help of their baby daddies, and who live in poor areas that are high in crime. They are as different from me as can be, but they are my friends, too. We chat, we text, and I’m thankful to be a part of their lives.

Years ago I wanted to reach out to one young women, and now every week I meet young moms who aren’t sure that they fit in.

To be joined in a friendship is to have harmony, accord, understanding and rapport. It’s knowing something, and enjoying their presence despite the differences. Or maybe it’s not only putting up with the differences, but appreciating them.

This photo is of most of our Teen MOPS leadership. I consider them friends.

Giveaway

Teen MOPS is giving away an annual membership to one of my blog readers! You have one week to enter using the widget below, and next Monday the winner will be announced here on the widget. My assistant will be in touch with the winner. *Only those in the U.S. are eligible to win.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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friendship

Honest Conversations about Racism

Mentioned in This Episode

Connect with Reggie Dabbs

Connect with John Driver

Thanks to this week’s Sponsor Lynette Eason’s Critical Threat

Pin + Share

How to Find a Friend and Be a Friend

Mentioned in This Episode

Connect with Jess & Amy

Connect with Tricia

Want to hear more from Tricia? Don’t miss these great podcasts:

1. My friendships are a model for my kids.

2. My friendships become my kids’ friendships.

You can purchase the e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or CBD.

The assignment: confirmed in the moment by the Holy-Spirit via telepathic communication.

The command: given by the High Chief to Love One Another (Matthew 22:39).

It’s not Mission Impossible. It’s Just “Mission.”

Mission Tool Chest

Let’s Pray…

Giveaway