I remember one specific meeting at our teen moms support group. I’d brought in three happily married couples to talk about marriage. I expected the young moms to ask questions about how to find the right person or how to deal with conflict, but that is not what they asked. Instead, the same question kept popping up over and over again, “Why in the world would you get married?”
The young women were happy for the couples—they really were—but they had no intention of getting married themselves. I was in shock. Then I began asking questions.
First of all, I asked how many of them had parents who were currently married. None of them. Not one of the young women raised her hand. Then I asked these young women how many of their parents had at one time been married to each other. Out of twenty-five young women, only two of them had parents who’d been married, but both were now divorced. I then asked how many of them had a good relationship with their father. Again, only two young women. Finally, I asked if any of them had ever seen a good marriage close up, one they’d like to model in their own lives. Out of twenty-five young moms, only one person raised her hand.
No wonder these young women had no hopes of marriage in the future. No wonder they were building relationships with the wrong types of guys. They had no idea what a happy marriage looks like. They had no idea what to hold out for.
Maybe you’re the same. You like the idea of marriage and of a happy relationship, but you haven’t had a good example in your life. You think pursuing such a thing is a waste of time, so you settle for far, far less. I’m here to tell you that it is possible. Once I started looking for—and praying for—the right type of guy, I found him. (As I mentioned before, I also changed my life to become the type of person the right type of guy would want.)
You have to start by being willing to wait for the right person, being willing to change, and being willing to open your heart when the time comes. It’s time to break the cycle of bad relationships.
Excerpted with permission from Teen Mom
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Other Blog Posts I’ve Written About Teen Moms
The ABCs of Helping a Young Mom
Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms
A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important
Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!
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How to Start a Teen MOPS Group
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