grief

June 28, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

#WalkItOut Podcast 061: Jonathan Pitts

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | RSS

#WalkItOut Podcast 61: Jonathan Pitts

When I say the word “marriage” what does it make you think about?

Today you’re in for a treat. We’re going to be chatting with Jonathan Pitts author of Emptied: Experiencing the Fullness of a Poured-Out Marriage. We’ll talk about marriage and the challenges that come as well as the fulfillment of living a poured out marriage. Jonathan will also be sharing the heartbreaking story of how after living a poured out marriage, he lost his wife Wynter (who co-wrote the book).

I pray that you’re going to be blessed by my conversation with Jonathan! You can listen above or on iTunes! I’d love it if you shared with your friends!

Links from the show

Emptied
The Grumble Free Year
Ephesians 5:25
For Girls Like You Ministry
For Girls Like You Magazine
Calming Angry Kids
Dance with Wynter

This Week’s Walk It Out Scripture

Luke 9:24-25 NASB
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it. For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world, and loses or forfeits himself?

October 22, 2015 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

5 Simple Ways to Love A Friend Who’s Grieving {by Rachel Wojo}

These 5 simple ways to love a friend who’s grieving can help when our friends or loved ones are hurting, especially grieving. Sometimes, it’s easy to think there is nothing we can do to help. Or we convince ourselves that they want to be left alone and when some time has passed, our friendship will return to “normal.” But these tools can help you reach out with compassion.

You wanted to say something. Do something. Help in some way. But you just weren’t sure what to do. So you said nothing. Did nothing. Helped no one.

People in grief need understanding & compassion, no matter the reason for grief. @rachelwojo

Click To Tweet

People experiencing grief need understanding and compassion no matter the reason for their grief. Whether the loss of a loved one, loss of a pet, divorce, or the list could go on, grief is experienced in various stages and phases. There is no right or wrong way; grief is a processing of losing someone or something you love mixed with the reality that things will never be the same again.

How can you help a friend through this valley?

Today I wanted to share 5 simple ways to love a friend who’s grieving.

1. Give your eyes.

Be watching for ways you can help or suggest to others to help. A grieving person may not even know what they need. Look for a meal plan in place. Watch for things that you know need to be accomplished—like grass that needs mowed, a car that needs washed, or a bathroom that needs cleaned. A few years ago, I was working on a church Helping Hands team and each week, I cleaned an elderly lady’s bathroom. Every week she told me it was the nicest thing anyone had done for her since her husband’s death. Her pain was eased tremendously all because one person gave with their eyes and saw her need.

2. Love with your heart.

Filter your conversation to allow everything to flow with love. Years ago, I was honest about something with a grieving friend. She didn’t need my honesty at that moment; only I didn’t know any better. I don’t feel that our friendship ever fully recovered, though I really had the best intentions with what I had to say. Love a grieving friend with a bigger love than you’ve ever shown before. Be the one willing to give more grace. Use your words sparingly and make sure they are saturated in love.

Be the one willing to give more grace. @rachelwojo #onemorestep

Click To Tweet

3. Offer your hands to love a friend that’s grieving

The first time they may say no. But don’t let that hinder you from setting a reminder on your phone to ask again a few days later or in one week. “Is there anything at all I can do for you?” “Could you use a gift card to bring dinner home one night after work?” “Could I stop by and clean your bathroom on Saturday?” The simple act of making the griever aware of your willingness is a wonderful way to help and love them, whether they choose to accept your offers or not.

4. Be their feet.

Errands do not stop for grief. There is still trash to be disposed of, mail to pick up, groceries to shop for, and meals to cook. Helping a friend through grief is an opportunity to be their feet—the doing mechanism for all things routine.

5. Lend an ear.

Some time may need to pass before your friend is ready for a listening ear, but when that time comes, be the one who will be there. Listening doesn’t always have to be directly with our ears. Modern communication affords the opportunity to text a short, but intentional message. “I’m sorry you are going through this. Please let me know if you need someone just to listen.”

Listening is an enormous gift to love a friend who’s grieving. I believe it is such a gift that I’ve deemed it “the permission to ache freely.”

Permission to ache freely is simply allowing someone to grieve by giving them as much time as they need.

A huge part of that is stating that you understand and giving them space to breathe, never rushing the process.

Isn’t this what Christ does for us as Christians? He loves us so much that he died for us. But even after we’ve accepted him as our Savior, he tells us to come. He calls us to bring our burdens to Him and leave them there. He gives us the opportunity to choose His will, yet always gently shows us the way.

Maybe your friend could use a tool to help her navigate the emotions of grief or hurt. She needs to find a source of strength and discover the assurance that she has the ability to keep going, even when everything just keeps going wrong.

Maybe this post wasn’t meant to share with a friend. Maybe this post was meant for you.

Enjoy the first chapter of my new book, One More Step, for FREE or download the FREE Stepping Stones resource as a tool to discover how to find strength when you feel like giving up.

How do you feel about the “permission to ache freely?

More About Rachel:

Rachel “Wojo” Wojnarowski is wife to Matt and mom to seven wonderful kids. Her greatest passion is inspiring others to welcome Jesus into their lives and enjoy the abundant life He offers. As a sought-after blogger and writer, she sees thousands of readers visit her blog daily. Rachel leads community ladies’ Bible studies in central Ohio and serves as a Bible study teacher, leader, and event speaker.

In her “free time” she crochets, knits, and sews handmade clothing. Ok, not really. She enjoys running and she’s a tech geek at heart. Reader, writer, speaker, and dreamer, you can find Rachel on her website at

Rachel Wojo at RachelWojo.com.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my newsletter, check out my podcast, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, or Instagram.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

December 23, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 59 Comments

Christmas Mourning | 12 Days of Christmas Giveaways Day 11

Christmas Mourning

That morning as I thought about the celebration of our Lord’s birth, my mind was already busy unwrapping. No, I wasn’t thinking ahead to presents. Instead, I was unwrapping the many memories of Christmas that I carry on my heart.

I remember sitting at the kids’ table in Grandma’s mobile home, laughing and goofing around with my brother and cousins. I remember the doll house my Grandpa made when I was seven and the loving care my grandma took to decorate it.

Do you believe the best gift is yet to come? #Christmas @TriciaGoyer

Click To Tweet

There are memories of the kids acting out the Christmas story and Goyer family gatherings in which forty of us would eat in our cleaned-out and heated garage because it was the only place big enough to set up tables and chairs for everyone.

I also will never forget the first time I celebrated Christmas in California with my biological dad and the four sisters I didn’t know growing up. I had a happy heart that day, being with people I didn’t know well but who amazingly looked and acted just like me. How cool is that?!

As I write this, there are faces going to be missing around the tree, to be sure. There’s always a sense of missing when the people you love are far away. And that’s when Christmas Morning becomes Christmas Mourning. I’m thinking of my mom, dad, siblings, in-laws, and friends, wishing I could fill me house with their faces, their smiles, their laughter. I’m sure you understand.

Is your Christmas morning going to become Christmas mourning? Encouragement from @TriciaGoyer:

Click To Tweet

The greatest gift is one we’ve yet to open. Salvation comes to our hearts when we whisper a prayer of faith and relinquishment—when we give up the right to ourselves.

Like a beautifully wrapped presents under the tree, the best part of the gift is still to come. My mind is anticipating the unwrapping. I can only guess of the joy and laughter to come!

12 Days of Christmas Giveaways Day 11

I’m celebrating Christmas with my favorite blog readers by giving away a different book pack each day! Today’s book pack is the Chronicles of the Spanish Civil War Pack, which includes: A Valley of Betrayal, A Shadow of Treason, and A Whisper of Freedom. Winners will be announced on my blog on Christmas day!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

December 23, 2013 by Tricia Goyer 59 Comments

Christmas Mourning | 12 Days of Christmas Giveaways Day 11

Christmas Mourning

As I sat in our living room last Christmas morning, there was a pile of presents under the tree. A smile filled my face, just thinking about the joy and laughter that would fill the house in a few hours when we gathered around to hear the Christmas story, worship Jesus, and open presents.
That morning as I thought about the celebration of our Lord’s birth, my mind was already busy unwrapping. No, I wasn’t thinking ahead to presents. Instead, I was unwrapping the many memories of Christmas that I carry on my heart.
I remember sitting at the kids’ table in Grandma’s mobile home, laughing and goofing around with my brother and cousins. I remember the doll house my Grandpa made when I was seven and the loving care my grandma took to decorate it.

Do you believe the best gift is yet to come? #Christmas @TriciaGoyer

Click To Tweet

I remember the boom box and banana clips from high school and my first Christmas with my son Cory not long after I turned eighteen. Cory was only six months old, but the greatest gift God gave to both of us that year was John—my soon-to-be husband and Cory’s soon-to-be daddy.
There are memories of the kids acting out the Christmas story and Goyer family gatherings in which forty of us would eat in our cleaned-out and heated garage because it was the only place big enough to set up tables and chairs for everyone.
I also will never forget the first time I celebrated Christmas in California with my biological dad and the four sisters I didn’t know growing up. I had a happy heart that day, being with people I didn’t know well but who amazingly looked and acted just like me. How cool is that?!
As I write this, there are faces going to be missing around the tree, to be sure. There’s always a sense of missing when the people you love are far away. And that’s when Christmas Morning becomes Christmas Mourning. I’m thinking of my mom, dad, siblings, in-laws, and friends, wishing I could fill me house with their faces, their smiles, their laughter. I’m sure you understand.

Is your Christmas morning going to become Christmas mourning? Encouragement from @TriciaGoyer:

Click To Tweet

It’s so easy to center Christmas around the baby who God sent, but we cannot forget the purpose for His coming. Jesus’ mission wasn’t just about the manager, the angels, and the swaddling clothes. His purpose was to offer himself so that we can spend eternity with Him and those we love.
The greatest gift is one we’ve yet to open. Salvation comes to our hearts when we whisper a prayer of faith and relinquishment—when we give up the right to ourselves.
Like a beautifully wrapped presents under the tree, the best part of the gift is still to come. My mind is anticipating the unwrapping. I can only guess of the joy and laughter to come!