Writer’s Desk with Dannah Gresh
Dannah Gresh is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom+daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast.
Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. She and her husband Bob live in State College, Pennsylvania on a small farm that could be confused as a petting zoo. Horses, llamas, peacocks, chickens, goats, dogs, and cats abound. The family pastime is chasing whoever— or whatever—might be loose.
More about Happily Even After
Is happily-ever-after a myth—or can you experience something even better?
Couples don’t ride off into the sunset after their honeymoon. The truth is marriage is hard. Maybe you’re in a place where you’re feeling that. You might even feel like this is the end.
Bob and Dannah Gresh have been there. But they decided to participate in God’s redemption story. Together they discovered something better than romance: a love that endures.
Whether your relationship is suffering from pornography, addiction, an affair, or just years of unhappiness, Jesus Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. In Happily Even After, Dannah is a friend who walks beside you and helps you:
- stop pretending everything is okay
- strengthen yourself in the Lord
- fight for your husband instead of with him
- discover 7 essential beliefs every marriage needs to survive broken places
- participate in your husband’s redemption story
Dannah demonstrates how to forgive, live with joy, and hold your head high while you participate in His redemption story for your husband. You may feel like your story is over, but no one writes better—or happier—endings than Jesus.
Scroll below to find out how you can enter to win one of five copies of Happily Even After!
Q&A with Dannah Gresh
TG: Everyone always asks for an interesting fact, we’re going to flip the question. What is one boring fact about yourself?
DG: There are more boring than interesting facts about me. But I really like being home on a Friday night. How’s that for boring?
TG: Why did you write Happily Even After?
DG: Between 60-70% of men in the church could be classified by what the recovery world would say is sex addicts. While there are lots of books for those men, there are very few strong, biblically-based books for their wives. When I walked through this hardship with my own husband, I craved a guidebook that was full of God’s Truth and also compassionate and clinically informed. I needed help understanding my husband’s battle and my pain. And courage to rise up and become a victor.
TG: Did you have any surprises or learning moments while writing this title?
DG: In 2017, Bob and I shared our story for the first time publicly at an event for about 3,000 women. And for three hours women lined up hoping to talk with us about their own husband’s battle with lust and pornography! Bob said, “I knew then that this book needed to be written.”
I mean, you hear the stats but to see the tear-stained faces of women who needed hope culminated in a change in our hearts. We had reluctantly approached that first public testimony, but now we’re eager to see hearts experience the freedom and redemption that we have known through Jesus Christ!
TG: What do you hope readers take away from your book?
DG: Rather than pursuing “recovery,” we hope couples will pursue God’s redemption. Recovery patches up the damaged pieces of your relationship. But through Jesus Christ, we can be made into something stronger, better, and more whole. It’s not a repair, but a renewal.
And we want to shorten the length of time between disclosure and redemption. It can feel painful and lonely. Bob and I want to walk with other couples through those hard weeks and months.
TG: Do you have any habits or rituals as a writer?
DG: I love a cozy candle burning while I’m writing. And I take frequent walks to talk to the Lord on a writing retreat.
TG: What habits would you encourage others to take up to be a more productive writer?
DG: Read the book Deep Work by Cal Newport. And learn the power of long segments of time to think and create. I’ve always needed that, but Cal explains the science behind why we all need it if we’re going to find our best content.
TG: What do you snack on or drink while writing?
DG: I try to eat rather healthy when I’m writing. Years ago, I learned that the pilots of Stealth Bombers and Stealth Fighters often have to make 24-hour flights at a moment’s notice. When they are on call, they are instructed to eat “high protein, low residue” diets. In part, this is to keep the alert when they are on a mission. I’d like to think that I’m on a mission for the Lord on writing days and that my body needs to be in submission to that purpose. I think more clearly when I eat healthily.
I also celebrate the end of a writing retreat with carbs and sweets!
TG: How do you overcome writer’s block?
DG: It seems every project is full of Muses who refuse to be caught! Walking is part of my strategy to win that game of hide and seek! There’s incredible research revealing that walking helps us think and even calms us when we are frustrated. Both of those are useful when you’re stuck.
TG: Are you an “edit-as-you-go” writer or do you wait until the very end before you do any editing?
DG: A writer’s best tool is the proverbial razor blade. The best content is hard to see when it’s hiding in the midst of good writing. If you can cut out the good (and mourn it when you do), you’ll end up with a stronger piece. I edit as I go and then take brave, deep slices of content out at the end.
For Happily Even After, I cut out an entire section of the book in the final round of editing. It made the book dramatically easier to process. I hated doing it, but it was a good decision.
TG: What would you say is the most common mistake new writers make?
DG: Being fearful of an editor’s critique is a common mistake new writers often make. The process of being edited was so painful for me the first time. I could not believe how much needed work. I told my husband, “My editor hates my book!” He said, “No, she’s just making it better with you.” And that is the truth about collaboration.
Be alarmed if an editor just green-lights your work. Fresh eyes will surely see where you have not communicated clearly or have missed a nuance that’s important.
TG: What is the best piece of writing advice you’re ever received?
DG: “My story is my most valuable asset.” My husband, Bob, taught me that.
Revelation 12:11 describes the moment all of history longs for when Satan is thrown down and God’s people are victorious. Pay attention to how we will overcome:
They have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.
Because of Jesus, we have victory over enemies big and small. One of the weapons He has asked us to wield is our story.
Enter for a chance to win one of five copies of Happily Even After*
*Due to shipping costs, the winner must have a US mailing address.
Don’t miss my chat with Dannah Gresh! Click below to watch!
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