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How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

 

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption
How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

I’d like to think I’m an expert pray-er. I can clearly see how my prayers changed things. For example, I’ve had seven kids—not birthed from me—running around my house who are examples of that. Yet, the way that my prayers changed the future is different than you think.

God is not a genie in a bottle.

My prayers weren’t effective because I figured out the right words to make God do what I wanted to do. I used to think that. As a young Christian, I’d try all sorts of things:

  • praying in the morning
  • praying at night
  • praying on my knees
  • praying out loud
  • journaling my prayers

I wouldn’t admit it out loud, but I believed deep down if I said the right things, at the right time, in the right way, that God could be swayed.

What I’ve since discovered is God has good plans for my life. He has hopes for me and a future.

The number-one thing that changes when I pray . . . is me.

Prayer opens up the connection between me and God. Prayer softens my heart to His will.

My prayers change the future because as I connect with Him, I’m willing to submit my will to His. As I submit and walk in His ways . . . my future is different than the path I would have taken myself on in my own according. And the future is changed.

Prayer changes the future because:

  1. I connect with God.
  2. I submit my will to His.
  3. I walk in His ways—not the ones I try to figure out.

I have dozens of examples of this, but I’ll quickly share one: adoption. Around 2000, I started praying for God to give me His heart. Soon I became interested in adopting. God tells us so many times to care for the widows and orphans.

My husband wasn’t on board, so I continued to pray (not nag). In 2007, John brought up the idea to me (yes!), and we filled out paperwork to adopt from China.

By the time we submitted our paperwork in 2008, the adoption Chinese program changed drastically, and the opportunity to adopt a healthy baby girl was no longer an option. By 2009, when I discovered I’d not have a Chinese baby anytime soon (or ever), I was crushed. I cried (I’ll admit it), but I also prayed for God’s will.

“Lord, give us the child YOU desire. I know you placed adoption on my heart for a reason.”

I’m telling the complete truth when I say that the very day I relinquished my will, I received a phone call about a birth mom looking for a home for her baby. March 2010, Alyssa joined our family—a nine-pound bundle of joy.

Even after bringing Alyssa home, I continued to pray for God’s will. (Lord, are there more children that you have for us?)

In 2012 Bella and Casey joined our home from the foster care system. Later on, God placed Lauren, Jordan, Maria, and Florentina into our lives. I love my children! I couldn’t imagine life without them. More than that, I know God placed adoption on my heart for a reason; it just didn’t look the way I thought.

Prayer changed the future because:

  1. I connected with God, and I discovered His heart.
  2. I submitted my will to His, and I relinquished myself to His path.
  3. I walked in His ways, . . . and He led me where I never expected.

Today, consider changing your future forever.

God has good plans for your life. He knows you’ll only be willing to step out into the future when your heart is changed through prayer.

How Prayer Changes the Future for Adoption

As you submit yourself to His heart and His will, expect to walk down paths different than you ever expected. You’ll learn how prayer changes the future for adoption. Also, expect to have a partner in the journey. God—yes, the God of the universe!—will be stepping out in front of you along the way and leading you in His plans.

As we continued to pray God continued to lead. Today, we have ten beautiful children. We are so blessed. And it all began when we let God changed our future through prayer.

The Adoption Summit is a great opportunity for you to take the next step and learn more about adoption. And right now you can get a FREE ticket here: www.adoptionsummit.com

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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Homeschool Curriculum Unboxing: Sonlight

One of my favorite times of the year is when my new homeschool curriculum arrives. For the last couple of years, I’ve used Sonlight to homeschool all my children together. It works great!! I’m doing the same thing this year, too.

My children are Level D (ages 8-11) and Level 100 (ages 12-16) in the Sonlight homeschool curriculum. But I love to combine levels to teach all my kids together!

Homeschool Scheduling Hope

In order to make the most of our homeschool day, I literally put the two levels together and do the Read Alouds to both groups. Last time it took me 1 ½ years to go through the doubled-up curriculum this way, but none of us minded. The younger kids enjoyed the older kids’ books and the older kids loved the young kids’ books. This really helps the kids bond. From ages 7-15 we all enjoy the stories together. I can’t tell you the number of times all the kids were either laughing or crying at the same time. It’s fun to hear them talking about the stories months later.

I usually spend 2 – 2 ½ hours each day reading aloud to all my kids together. While I’m reading they’re usually coloring, playing with Legos, doing puzzles or crafts. I pause every few pages and ask questions to make sure people are paying attention. Sometimes the older girls take turns reading too.

Then, after the read-aloud time, everyone breaks up to do their individual work. This takes anywhere from 1-4 more hours, depending on the age of the child, how much work and independent reading there is, and how motivated they are.

Teacher’s Guide

What makes Sonlight Homeschool Curriculum easy is that the Teacher’s Guide has everything listed out—what needs to be done each day. There are also handouts and worksheets to go with the books. Since everything is figured out for me, there is little prep.

I’ll admit that we don’t cover every single thing in the teacher’s guide. Sometimes I’ll choose not to do all the extra activities, and we just read the books. That’s okay. My kids are learning a ton and excelling!

Watch the video unboxing here:

 

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

Need more ideas and advice on homeschooling? Pick up a copy of Homeschool Basics. Receive tried-and-true homeschool advice from veteran homeschooling moms Tricia Goyer and Kristi Clover. We dish out practical help on getting started and staying the course. Homeschool Basics will remind you that the best homeschooling starts with the heart. Packed with ideas to help you push aside your fears and raise kids who will grow to be life-long learners.

homeschooling basics

 

Kristi and I believe that homeschooling can transform your life, your home, and your family. Mostly, we believe homeschooling can truly prepare your children for the life God’s called them to live.

Don’t let doubts hold you back any longer.

Get Homeschool Basics on Amazon Now!

 

 

 

Have you checked out my homeschool success course yet?

Let me share all the practical tips and tricks I’ve learned to:

—Homeschool multiple levels in four hours a day.

—Understand the basics of homeschool laws and what your kids need to graduate and go to college.

—Discover your gifts as a homeschool teacher.

—Finding extra help for special needs kids.

…and so much more!

Here is my welcome module to give you a glimpse of this course!

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The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

Never underestimate the importance of a simple homeschool schedule. Does making a school-at-home schedule intimidate you? Do you resist the idea of a schedule “tying you down?” Or maybe you love the idea but you just aren’t sure where to begin. A simple homeschool schedule can guide your day and help parents and kids focus on what’s most important. But before I share my top tips, remember that no schedule is set in stone… simplicity also means flexibility!

The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule
The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

 

 

The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

As a homeschool mom of twenty-seven years (with a large family!), I’ve had numerous schedules over the years. Because our family dynamics have differed from year to year, our days and our seasons also fluctuate. One year we had a new baby, and the following year my grandma needed extra care in our home. A few years after that, I had three children to teach, and the next year, we added four more children through adoption.

homeschool schedule

The important thing is to evaluate your current season and figure out what works well now.

Things can and will change. If something doesn’t work, try a different way. Remember, you are in control. Here are several things to remember when you go to create your simple homeschool schedule.

1. A simple homeschool schedule helps kids know what to expect.

This is true for virtual or hybrid schools as well. When kids know what to expect – and what’s expected of them – there is less anxiety and far less fighting. By knowing what comes next, kids can naturally prepare and adjust.

2. A simple homeschool schedule helps you develop daily routines and turn chaos into calm.

If you’re struggling with feeling like your life is chaotic, a routine can transform the craziness into a much calmer existence. Best of all, by creating a simple school schedule, your home and life will be more orderly. On top of that, you’ll also get more done.

3. A simple homeschool schedule will help you be more disciplined.

If you’re going to be successful as a school-at-home mom, you’ve got to be disciplined. No, you don’t need to run such a tight ship that every fifteen minutes is scheduled, but you do need to set up and follow a routine. Nothing good ever happens by accident. If you want something good to happen, put some structure around it.

4. To create a schedule that fits your needs, start by asking questions:

  • What would a great school-at-home day look like?
  • A year from now, what would I consider a ‘success’?
  • What values do I want my children to have when they complete their schooling?

homeschool schedule

5. Next, start to ‘form up’ your day:

With answers to these questions in mind, write down a list of everything you’d like to complete in a day. Put in even those little things that you always wished you had time for. (Maybe you have a book you’ve wanted to read for a long time – put a few minutes of reading in your schedule!) Based on your family’s priorities, add in or take out what will make your days run more smoothly.

Ask:

  • What works in my schedule?
  • Is there something I need to cut?
  • What do I need to add?

6. Have a start time to shoot for.

In my house, we prioritize sleep, so I don’t have an early start time for my kids. But it helps many homeschool parents to have a start time to shoot for.

7. Don’t try to make your day look like a public school day.

Your kids aren’t going to do well if you try to make them sit at desks from 8 am to 3 pm. That’s not necessary! Instead, set blocks of time for reading, math, science, history, Bible, and art. For example: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday can be your times to focus on reading, history, and Bible. Tuesday and Thursday can be for math, science, and art. Or, if you’d rather do each subject each day, ask your children what they’d like to do first.

 

Check out my book Homeschool Basics!

Let me show you what has worked for my family for over two and a half decades. I want to help you take unnecessary pressure off yourself so you can focus on what is truly important in your homeschooling journey. Get your copy here!

Homeschool Basics
Homeschool Basics

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Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours Today!

Believe me when I tell you – homeschooling success can be yours. Let me tell you how I made it work for our family and how you can, too!

Homeschool Success Can Be Yours Today!
Homeschool Success Can Be Yours Today!

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

18 (short!) years. That’s all I had.  And with some of my adopted kids joining our family late in life, I knew I had even less than that with them. I wanted to pack my children’s lives with meaning. I wanted to give them the best life I could. Because someday, I want to stand before God and be able to say I had done all I could to raise my children to love and follow Him.

But something was holding me back. As I lay awake at night, it was like a weight sitting on my chest… the possibility of homeschooling.

I realize now, that weight was fear. I was scared that homeschooling would require me to kiss my dreams goodbye. That if I homeschooled, my kids would emerge into adulthood as weird, socially awkward creatures that people would roll their eyes at and say, ” Oh, they must have been homeschooled.” Most of all, I was afraid homeschooling would turn my life upside down.

In many ways, it did.

My dining room table was suddenly taken over by books and papers, and my thoughts became consumed with worries about curriculum, homeschool co-ops, and conferences. I worried, “Am I even qualified to do this?” My school-aged kids were home all the time, so I had no time for myself.

But as the days passed into months, and months to years, I started to notice a few things:

My kids were playing outside when other kids were stuck at their desks all day.

My kids truly loved learning and viewed the world as their classroom. They loved the Lord and were excited to serve Him.

These kids raised at home weren’t socially awkward – in fact, they loved talking to adults and could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.

I felt like I knew my kids – really KNEW them.

I was confident I could give them each the individual attention they needed to be successful. Homeschooling had made it possible for me to reach them despite their different levels, abilities, and challenges.

Not only that, but I found I did have time for myself – time to write and publish books, serve moms in my community, and host a podcast.

So, I guess you could say that homeschooling did turn our lives upside down. But, 10 kids and many years later, I realized the truth:

Homeschooling didn’t turn our lives upside down. It turned our upside-down lives right-side-up.

Now, I want to offer the same gifts to YOUR family: the rich gifts of home education.

 

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours!

They say bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s moving towards the thing you fear anyway. Maybe you’ve got fears, concerns, and questions. I’m here to tell you that’s OK. In fact, it’s actually very normal.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?”

Luke 14:28

You are right to consider the cost, and that’s exactly why I designed the Homeschool Success Course with you in mind. I know the cost and I know that the gift of a homeschool education to your children and your family is worth it. And I’m here to help you!

I’ve put my heart and soul into developing a course for you that outlines the most important aspects of homeschooling:

  • Creating a positive home environment where your children will thrive and learn.
  • ​Inviting your kids to join you on their education journey.
  • ​Understanding the basics of homeschooling laws and what it really takes for your kids to graduate and go on to college.
  • ​Discovering your gifts as a homeschooling teacher.
  • ​Finding extra help for special-needs kids.
  • ​… and more!

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

You can bypass the stress, confusion, and exhaustion I experienced in the early years. You can skip straight to the meaningful, fun adventure that comes with schooling your kids at home! Because I care, I’ve compiled my best tips and tricks, making it easy for you to give your family the rich gift of homeschooling. 

Don’t Wait!

You can proceed confidently and wisely. You can start your homeschooling journey with an entire toolbox of knowledge and inspiration. 

Can you imagine what life will be like when you create a positive homeschooling environment where your children thrive and learn? And where you feel peace as a homeschooling mom?

Let me show you how! Learn more about The Homeschool Success Course now!

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When is the Homeschool Day Over?

When is the Homeschool Day Over?

When is the Homeschool Day Over?

When is the Homeschool Day Over? Out of all the questions that people have about homeschooling, this one tops the list. As a new homeschooling mom, I wondered this myself. With all the wonderful plans we have for giving our kids the best education ever, we can sometimes lose track of time. Don’t let the day go on too long and face burnout. Learn from my veteran advice.

While the answer varies with each family, here are a few things to consider when it comes to setting a homeschool schedule, keeping on track, and knowing when the homeschool day is over.

1. Homeschooling doesn’t take as long as you think.

Unlike public schools, homeschool subjects take less time to teach. Instead of a teacher teaching and overseeing twenty-five or more students, you have far less. Even if you’re teaching multiple grades at once, you won’t spend time controlling a crowd, making sure everyone understands, and moving from room to room. For early elementary grades, homeschool lessons can be completed in 2-3 hours. Older kids take more time, but an added benefit is that when the homework is done, it’s done. Since schoolwork is done during the day, you don’t have to spend time on added homework in the evenings.

2. When setting your homeschool schedule, remember you can shorten your homeschool day by teaching kids together.

Homeschool would take more time if you were teaching complete sets of curriculum for all of the first grade, third grade, and fifth grade (or whatever ages your kids are). I’m currently homeschooling ages 12, 13, and 15. We do Bible Study together, and I read aloud missionary stories and historical novels to all my kids. This not only builds family bonds and saves money … it saves time too. I’ve learned to teach to the older kids and then add fun activities for the younger kids to help them understand the concepts at their level.

3. Start with the difficult and demanding subjects when setting your homeschool schedule.

If you do the fun subjects first, then the day can drag after you finally get to the hard stuff. Yet if you start with the hard stuff, then the day seems to go quickly once that’s done.

4. Don’t forget breaks!

Breaks are important, both for you and your children! Give your kids time to play outside, do crafts, or read on their own. So while officially you haven’t called the homeschool day over yet, you can schedule in time for yourself.

5. Don’t fill your day with so much that your schedule doesn’t end.

The curriculum is your guide, not your boss. The purpose of the curriculum is to provide structure and direction. Teacher lesson plans are lists of ideas. No one is expected to do it all! Not even private or public school teachers finish every lesson. (It’s true, they’ve told me!)

6. Know that even if your homeschooling day is officially over, every part of life can be considered “schooling.”

The way you shop, spend time with friends, and work, will change because you’re giving a large part of your day to your kids. That being said, there are so many aspects of everyday life that you can choose to be teaching times if you’re creative. Grocery shopping and running to the bank can be great lessons. You simply have to be imaginative and realize your lifestyle won’t look like those of most folks around you.

7. Capture the teachable moments.

I was leaving the doctor’s office with my three, young kids when a homeless man approached us. He was in a wheelchair, and he was missing a leg. I’d just gotten the kids buckled into their car seats when he approached asking for food. I “just so happened” to have a packed lunch that my Bible Study leader gave to us. I also had recently been to the bakery, and I’d picked up some donuts for my grandma for a treat.

I gave the man lunch and offered him the biggest donut. His eyes grew wide. “Is this cream-filled?” It turned out it was and the man’s face filled with joy. He ate it with pleasure.

It was only as I backed away that I realized my kids had been watching the exchange. Even though I never intended it to be, that was a teachable moment.

On the drive home, we talked about homelessness. We talked about caring for those who God brings in our path. We talked about sharing what we had. We talked about kindness. And that night—as the kids shared our experience with their dad—we talked about it again. And the next day we decided to pack up care packages with water bottles, snacks, and spare change to keep in the car. We also started reading a book for homeschool, Tales of the Not Forgotten by Beth Guckenberger.

Offering what we had to a homeless man, talking about homelessness as we drove home and later at dinner, creating care packages was schooling. Reading a book about needs around the world and those who are helping them helped us understand it even better, too.

8. Your kids learn just as much from real-life conversations as anything else.

I talk about real-life stuff during fun times, like when we’re enjoying popcorn or picking flowers outside. It’s then that kids are more likely to listen.

Ron Rose, author of Seven Things Kids Never Forget says, “Learn the art of meandering conversation. When you’re working a puzzle with your kids or riding in the car together, talk about worries or other crisis times. As a way to get started, use something you heard about, something you saw on TV, or something that happened to you as a child.” I especially love the idea of sharing stories from my own childhood. There are lessons each of us have learned that can be passed on to our kids.

9. And even when the official schooling day is over, be present.

Any time of the day, when my children ask me a question, I either answer it or let them know when I can answer it. Eye contact with my children makes a big difference. When I take time to focus on their faces and make an effort to smile, a connection is made. My children know I’m available and I care.

While a school-at-home day is done when the basic subjects are covered, schooling together also creates times for more connections and interactions during the day. Your daily school schedule will be different than anyone else’s, and that’s okay. Focus on helping your kids love to learn and enjoy time together, and you’ll go a long way!

Additional Resources

Have you checked out my Homeschool Success Course yet?

Let me share all the practical tips and tricks I’ve learned to:

—Homeschool multiple levels in four hours a day.

—Understand the basics of homeschool laws and what your kids need to graduate and go to college.

—Discover your gifts as a homeschool teacher.

—Finding extra help for special needs kids.

…and so much more!

Here is my welcome module to give you a glimpse of this course!

 

YOU can give the gift of a homeschool education to your family by joining me here: www.homeschoolsuccesscourse.com 

 

 

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How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

 

How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

I hate to say it, but back-to-school expenses are coming. Summer has been flying by and, depending on where you are, the school year is quickly creeping up on us. Here in Georgia, school started the first week of August!

I know for me, last year was hard. Maybe that was because it was the first school year for our family of five–I wasn’t exactly sure how to budget for it. Or maybe it was because there really are so many various and unexpected school-related expenses that happen during the year.

That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you have at least $100 of wiggle room in your budget each month for the school year and especially back-to-school expenses. I know that sounds like a lot of money (and it definitely is.) However, chances are, when you look back over last year’s budget, you’ll notice that you come very close if not over the $100 a month for all those last-minute purchases.

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

Here are just a few ways that can hopefully help you figure out how to find an extra $100 (or more!) in your monthly budget for back-to-school expenses:

1. Cell Phones

Regardless if it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family on your phone plan, paying for cell service can be a little crazy. That’s why if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you switch over to a company like Republic Wireless (who I personally use) or Ting (several of my friends use them and love them).

You still get to have an awesome smartphone but without the high cell phone bill (mine is only $25/mo with data!).

2. Insurance

Yeah, I know, you don’t want to talk about this subject because it’s one of those “necessary evils.” However, if you haven’t called around lately to gather new quotes for your different insurance needs, I highly suggest you do. You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year just from a simple phone call.

3. Subscription Services

It’s happened to me before. I completely forget that I have a subscription service deducting money from my bank account. It’s like I put it on autopilot and fail to evaluate if it’s a necessary expense or not.

The next thing to do is check for any recurring subscriptions, maybe now is the time to evaluate if they are still necessary. Spend a little time going through and canceling the unnecessary ones. This should add a little more wiggle room to your budget for those back-to-school expenses.

4. Be Inconvenienced

I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, we are just paying way too much for convenience. It’s possible that if we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced, we could save $1,000’s of dollars a year!

One of my favorite ways to be inconvenienced is by not using paper towels. A few years ago, we switched from using paper towels regularly to using bar mop cloths. That one small change has resulted in saving us hundreds over the years! We only have to buy one roll of paper towels twice a year (for draining meats like bacon or ground beef.) Honestly, it has affected us very little.

So, look around your home and find little ways that you could save money by simply being “inconvenienced.” You could end up adding a whole lot more to your school budget than just a $100 a month!

What to Do with Your Savings

Those are just a few ways that you can cut your expenses before the start of the school year. But the key to not going broke this school year is to remember that once you add that wiggle room to your budget, as a result, you must make sure that you add a line item accounting for that.

For instance, let’s say you cut your cell phone bill from $100 to $30 a month (yes, that’s totally possible with Republic Wireless or Ting.) Now you have $70 of wiggle room in your budget that must be accounted for.

Now you’d want to add a line item like “School Miscellaneous” or something with $70 as the total.

Example:

  • Mortgage: $1,000
  • Utilities: $200
  • Car Payment: $400
  • Insurance: $150
  • Cell Phone: $30
  • Groceries: $500
  • School Miscellaneous: $70

Then whenever those random, “Hey we need each child to bring in a snack for our upcoming event on Thursday” happens, you’ll have the money ready to go in your budget. Just make sure that you account for that expense and deduct the total from your category for back-to-school expenses.

Hopefully, this helps you if you’re getting geared up for the back-to-school season. Even if this isn’t a stage of life you’re currently dealing with, send this onto a friend that is in this season to give them a boost!

What is a piece of advice that you could offer someone else for not going broke during the school year?

{More about Jessi Fearon}

10714251_730966356979424_3359439497490871642_oJessi Fearon is the founder of the popular personal finance blog, Real Life on a Budget, where she shares her family’s real-life on a budget in order to inspire others to learn how to manage their money better. Jessi’s work has been featured on Buzzfeed, Rockstar Finance, TIME/Motto Magazine, Money Saving Mom, and The Penny Hoarder. Jessi resides in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia with her husband Pat and their three children Conner, Collin, and Charlotte and a rescue dog named Belle.

 

 

Additional Resources

How to Avoid Going Broke This School Year
Saving Money with Groupon Coupons
7 Tips for Living on $7 a Day
Restoring the Art of the Piggy Bank Savings
30 Cheap & Fun Date Night Ideas

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Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

When it comes to teen pregnancy, often we ask these two questions: if a teen finds themself facing an unplanned pregnancy are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices? We ask because we care. And as parents, we want to protect our kids from difficult situations and the consequences of poor decisions. 

Are you a mom or dad who’s wondering if you can make a difference in your child’s choice not to have sex prematurely? The answer is YES! And If you don’t want your daughter or son to be one of the one million teens who become parents every year, consider this:

Be a role model.

Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the boundaries of marriage? The saying “Do what I say, not what I do” never works. We have to set the standard we want our kids to emulate. The standard is God’s Word, not the current culture.

Talk about what love is—and isn’t!

Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love (no matter what they show on television). True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens they are responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won’t make him yours. A baby won’t make him stay.”

Remind kids it CAN happen to them.

Having sex, even so-called “protected” sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. And, yes, it’s possible—everyone can make good choices. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kid’s on how to make those choices. Talk openly with your child about sex and sexuality and remind them they are in control of their body—no matter what anyone else says.

Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.

Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, one in three young women get pregnant at least once before they turn twenty—good girls included.

Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.

Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.

Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.

Talk about setting boundaries and not putting themself in situations that will cause them to compromise those decisions. Help them make good plans for their future and stick to their goals. If possible, role-play conversations until they feel confident saying what needs to be said to avoid sexual situations. The more practice a person has in saying something, the easier it will be to say it when the time comes. Even if it feels awkward or silly, help your child find their own words for protecting their boundaries.

Talk about the media’s wrong messages.

The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Babies are a life-long responsibility, not a fashion accessory.

Encourage secondary purity.

Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said “yes” before. Today your child can make the right choice and choose abstinence. Even if they’ve been sexually active in the past, remind them that they can choose differently next time. Help them find forgiveness in Christ and build them up in the way to find the strength to avoid temptation in the future.

Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!

As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our kids. Don’t wait.

Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.

It’s so important for parents to open up a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages the media gives out?

Some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had were talking to my kids about sex. But those are also some of the most important ones. Not only did it help us to discuss this important topic, but it lead to other important topics and drew us closer to each other. When we care enough to breach difficult subjects with our kids they begin to understand our hearts better. Don’t miss this opportunity to build a lifelong relationship with your child. Remember, they will grow up one day and this conversation might be a crucial part of their life choices.

Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Although an unplanned pregnancy is something we would rather spare our child from, if your teen (or a teen you know) find’s themself in this situation, know that they can choose to parent and be successful. Teens can be good parents and a baby is always a blessing. We can choose to help a teen become a good parent by supporting them every step of the way.

Additional Resources

For more resources on supporting teen moms, you might want to read these posts:

Teen Mom, You Are Not Alone

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

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How to Walk Out Your Healing

The way you walk out your healing can affect not just your own life, but also the lives of your children. Facing our past mistakes and finding forgiveness and healing in Christ is so important. Today, I share I found healing through walking out my faith and how that affected our family.

How To Walk Out Your Healing
How To Walk Out Your Healing

 

Walk Out Your Healing

When my daughter was 13, I called her “mini-me.” When she answered the phone, people often thought it was me. Leslie has the same tone as me, and her voice carries the same inflections. Even though she had her own collection of CDs, she would often rifle through mine because she liked that music, too. She learned to put on makeup by watching me, and when she would see me engrossed in a good book, she would naturally want to read it. Even now that she is a grown adult, I see so much of myself in my daughter. She has many of my same convictions… And also some of my hang-ups.

When our kids are toddlers, we think it’s so sweet when they pick up a block and place it to their ear like a cell phone. But the older they get, the more they’re mimicking matters, and if they aren’t dealt with, the rock-solid bad habits in your life will most likely be theirs, too.

 

Walk Out Your Healing

In those days when you were slaves of sin, you weren’t concerned with doing what was right. And what was the result? It was not good, since now you’re ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.

Romans 6:20-22 NLT

What I love about that scripture is the fact that Paul isn’t trying to play down the past. Instead, he reminds fellow believers that what matters is what we are now free from the power of sin and slaves of God.

The word free here means “to liberate,” and this word has special meaning to me personally. Several years ago I wrote my first novel, From Dust and Ashes. It’s about liberation from a Nazi concentration camp from the points of view of both an American G.I. who opens the camp gates and a prisoner inside. To write the book, I interviewed both veterans and survivors alike. I also attended a ceremony in Austria organized by the survivors to celebrate their liberation 60 years after the fact!

Author Tricia Goyer shares the captivating story behind her book From Dust and Ashes

Walking In Freedom

These men and women — prisoners of the Nazis – had been near death, oppressed, and hopeless. Yet their victors came to open the gates and offered them not only hope but a future too. Once they walked from those gates, they were prisoners no more. They were liberated. They might revisit those times of bondage in their mind, but they no longer had to live behind the barbed wire. They did, however, have to realize their freedom and live in it, no longer behaving as if they were still in bondage. Likewise, if we don’t know the joy of true freedom in our hearts, how do we expect to lead our kids in the same freedom?

Kids go where we take them, they have no choice. How sad it would be if our own inner struggles pulled our kids back to our own past issues… Merely because we ourselves have not yet fully realized our freedom in Christ.

Walk Out Your Healing

It’s taken me years to deal with some of the issues from my past. I’ve attended Bible studies for women who’ve had abortions. I helped start a crisis pregnancy center in our community. I’ve spoken at purity retreats for young women. And I’ve mentored teen moms. For me, healing from my past involves helping others who face the same struggles. My heart is renewed when I help others find hope.

The additional benefit is that my children now have a mother who has wholeness in Christ. They’ve heard about my mistakes, and they’ve seen me reaching out. They’ve also gained conviction in these areas, following what I say . . . and what I do.

Now, it’s your turn. How have you walked out healing in your life? What has God done to liberate you from your past? Share your testimony with me in the comments!

Walk It Out

Tricia Goyer Walk it OutYou’ve heard the phrase Trust God. It’s easy to say but can be hard to do. But what if you did it. What if you did the things that God asked you to do and solely relied on Him? Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still feel empty and unfilled. Bestselling author Tricia Goyer has been where you are. She gets it and knows that the only way to live a fulfilling life is to walk it out with God.

Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time is a resource that teaches women how walking out the mandates of Scripture will allow God to spark passion and mission within them. Goyer teaches women, of all ages, how to:

    1. Use your healed heart to love and serve
  2. Create space and craft purpose
  3. Give generously without question
  4. Be vulnerable
  5. Truly love your family
  6. Do the work that God has given you to do

 

This book is for women:

  • struggling with anxiety or depression
  • feeling like they lost their way and are living by comparison
  • who feel like they’re never enough and always too much
  • searching for ways to develop a closer relationship with God
  • raising families while facing crossroads

Sometimes the steps we take in our faith are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Get your copy of Walk It Out today!

 

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The ABCs of Safety & Manners

ABCs of Safety & Manners

Have you taught your kids the ABCs of safety and manners? One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a mom was to expect what I haven’t taught. I’d take my kids out and expect them to know not to ask the lady sitting next to us at the park for part of her lunch. Or expect them to know that they shouldn’t run and scream in a store or touch in an art museum. How would my kids know that if I didn’t teach them?

Teaching and training are part of being a parent. 

One of the biggest successes I’ve had as a parent is when I’ve prepared my kids for what’s to come. I’ve given them “rules of conduct”–not to be a dictator, but instead for the sake of safety and manners.

These aren’t rules to be shared one time and forgotten. Instead, they are ones that should be read through often as reminders. (In the beginning, you might want to read over them every time that you go out.) Knowing these rules will prepare your children so they’ll be able to enjoy the day and have fun … and so will you!

I’ve included a printable for you to print, use, post, and share. May all your summer outings be less stressful and safer because of it!

Rules for Outings

  • Ask permission from your parents before you leave the group.
  • Be respectful and polite. “Please” and “Thank You” never go out of style.
  • Consider others before yourself. Take turns.
  • Do put garbage in a trash can. Leave the place as you find it… or better!
  • Everyone will be fed. If you are hungry or thirsty let us know. Don’t ask other people for their food. Don’t accept food or offer food to others without permission.
  • Fighting is for boxers in the ring. Treat others as you want to be treated.
  • Go slow. When inside, only walk unless you have permission to run.
  • Hold open doors for those following you.
  • If you can’t see me, I can’t see you. Get to where you can see me!
  • Joking and playing is not always appropriate. Consider the place and situation.
  • Keep your hands to yourself. In museums and other special places, you often have to look only with your eyes, not your hands.
  • Look and wait if you’re lost. If you get separated from the group ask someone who works there for help and stay put.
  • Make peace not war. Respect your siblings’ private spaces and don’t irritate them.
  • Never be alone with a stranger, even if they appear friendly.
  • Obey your parents the very first time. Say “Yes, mom” or “Yes, dad” to show you heard them.
  • Partner up. Always stick with your buddy.
  • Quietly listen. If someone is talking, wait to ask your questions.
  • Respond to others when asked a question.
  • STOP is the most important word, especially outside. When an adult says that, you do it, and ask questions later.
  • Try something new. Embrace the opportunity.
  • Use inside voices when inside.
  • Volunteer to help when you see a need.
  • Watch your gawking. Don’t stare, even if they stared first.
  • X-pect to carry your own things. If you bring it, you carry it.
  • You should go to the bathroom before we leave. Don’t wait until the last minute. Let us know when you have to go.
  • Zero complaining. Smile and have fun!

Download the printable here!

rules for outings - the abcs of safety

 

I hope these ABCs of Safety and Manners are helpful to you. Do you have any additional rules?  I’d love to hear them!

Additional Resources

 

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

And between homeschooling, writing, and leading a Teen MOPS group — I definitely get frustrated and cranky at times.

But You know what bothered me the most? Hearing my kids complaining. It drove me crazy until I realized I could teach them something better.

I could teach them gratitude. We could learn to be a family that’s grateful and thankful. Together we could become Grumble Free.

Would a year be enough to teach us all to focus on God’s goodness through every opportunity?

We found out in our Grumble Free Year and now you can read about how we faced whining and complaining head-on and became a stronger family because of it!

Click here to order now: www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

Click here to order The Grumbles picture book! 

 

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6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

6 Ways to bring joy to your day

6 Ways to Find Joy in Your Day {Printable!}

As a homeschooling mom, I’ve had kids at home for 32 years. This means noisy days, busy days, and these kids-are-giving-me-a-headache days.

I’ve been homeschooling for 28 years and still have another seven years to go! Does that seem overwhelming? It would have been if I hadn’t discovered something amazing: JOY!

Over the last year, God has spoken to my heart and encouraged me to find joy in everyday living.

Joy, even though the laundry is piled high.

Joy, even though the kids are cranky.

Joy when work deadlines are pressed.

Joy when I have a headache when my feet hurt, and when I just want a nap. (Which happens often!)

But how do you find joy in your day?

 

Here are 6 ways … and a Scripture verse for each!

1. Thank God for each new morning.

A thankful heart goes a long way. Daily when I wake God, instead of looking at everything I have to do, I thank him for who I am and what I have.

Thank you, God, that I’m your daughter, and I have a place in your eternal home.

Thank you, God, that I’m a wife and mother.

Thank you, God, for the pile of laundry and all the clothes you’ve provided for us.

Thank you, God, for the dishes still in the sink from last night. We went to bed with full bellies.

Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com

2. Turn on worship music.

I love listening to worship music as I read my Bible and journal in the morning. I put on popular Christian songs as we homeschool. I also listen to Christian music as I write. I love using apps like Spotify or Amazon Prime Music to help me find great music. I also sing along! Singing songs of joy helps sorrows (and frustrations) to disappear!

Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com3.  Ask God to remind me what His kingdom is all about.

In life, I want to be comfortable. I want my house to be Pinterest-worthy. I want my kids to shine. But when I think about God’s kingdom, He helps me understand Kingdom Work. Opening my door to neighbors. Sharing God’s truth with young moms. Calling a friend who’s going through a hard time. Playing a board game with my kids instead of putting away the laundry. The Kingdom is about people and hearts–not tasks!

Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com 4. Seek the Holy Spirit.

When did I ever start thinking that I have to handle life alone? God has given us His Holy Spirit to fill, work through, and give us peace. Stopping to pray and ask for God’s Holy Spirit to help me makes a huge difference. The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none.

The Holy Spirit gives me joy when I have none. @TriciaGoyer

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Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com

5. Join the kids in praising God.

The best thing about having three little kids is that they LOVE to praise God. We have “Jesus dance parties” often. We put on kids praise song, clap our hands and dance and sing. They love it, and seeing their joy makes me more joyful.

Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com

6. Thank God for troubles.

The honest truth is that without troubles, I wouldn’t need God. If everything went smoothly in life I wouldn’t pray or praise as often. When I thank God for troubles, I remind myself that He has everything in control. As the Scriptures say, troubles are an opportunity for joy!

Printable Scriptures - TriciaGoyer.com

I hope you print and use these Scriptures in your day. I’ve found them very helpful.

Download here.

How about you? What do you do to find joy in your day? What’s your favorite Scripture about joy?

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, today I pray for my friend. I pray that she may find joy in you. I pray that Your Word will draw her heart to you. I thank you for your Holy Spirit that can plant joy deep in our hearts, even when there are struggles all around.

More Resources

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Feed Your Young Creative’s Imagination with StoryMakers

My kids are always making and creating something. It isn’t unusual for us to have to clear craft supplies off the dinner table before we eat, and we aren’t even going to talk about our schoolroom table. When the team at StoryMakers reached out about sending us a box for Advent, I couldn’t say yes fast enough! When we received our box, I barely had a chance to look at it before it disappeared!

StoryMakers is a creative studio that designs imaginative resources for kids and teens. Their team of writers and artists brings the Bible to life through zines, playbooks, guides, and more. They have products for your little people as well as your teens!

Each StoryMaker guide invites the reader to step into a journey — a journey based on Scripture. Chapters include scripture, a prompt to get minds ready to engage in God’s story, notes, thoughts to ponder, fun facts, and an activity.

A starter kit includes zines, guides, playbooks, and memory cards designed to invite kids into the story of scripture. I love that StoryMakers has sound theology — and everything from the graphics, and the memory cards, to the zines, is so fun!

And if you aren’t ready to commit to purchasing a full starter kit, you can grab anything a la carte.

If you have a young creative in your life, consider investing in a StoryMakers subscription!

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