Generations May Influence Us, But God’s Influence is Greater
My teen years are a product of the 80’s.
Madonna sang Like a Virgin and no one I knew felt virginity was something to protect. While growing up, I sometimes felt closer to television families, like the Cosby’s, than my own. I escaped into books and always tried to gain the approval of my friends. In high school, I got together with guys and then broke up again, each time guarding myself a little more. At times I wondered if my heart would survive.
Go figure that when I first got married I had intimacy struggles. Maybe you can relate. As a generation we learned to exist on the surface, but not go too deep.
How did the generation you were raised in impact you? Maybe it’s more than you think.
While some factors are more significant than others, perhaps the most significant element in value development is age. Many psychologists and sociologists would agree that the most influential period of our value-development process is around age 10. What happened to you and what was going on in society when you were 10 years old has shaped your values probably more than you realize. . . . What we experienced in our families, at school, with our friends, through the media, and in every aspect of our lives at age 10 had a greater influence on us than those same factors had at any other time in our lives.
– Dr. Rick and Kathy Hicks in ‘Boomers, X-ers, and Other Strangers: Understanding the Generational Differences That Divide Us’
This makes a lot of sense to me. At age 10, my parents struggled in their marriage and some of my friend’s parents were already divorced. Financial strain in our family was overwhelming. Communication between me and my family focused on simple conversation like school or chores. I attended church but I didn’t really know God. I was an obedient kid who went through the motions of life.
The good news is that God healed all those broken parts of my heart. It’s taken time, but I’ve learned to open myself up to my husband. I’ve learned to connect. I’ve learned to trust. I’ve learned to be intimate.
How we were raised—and the era we grew up in—does influence us, but God’s influence is even greater.
They closer I grew to God, the more I opened my heart up to Him. And the more I opened my heart up to Him, the more I was able to open it to others too.
Do you have a hard time connecting with your spouse?
Ask God to come to you. Ask God to awaken your heart. Pray for true intimacy. Pray for the winds of change to come.
Awake, north wind!
Rise up, south wind!
Blow on my garden
and spread its fragrance all around.
Come into your garden, my love;
taste its finest fruits. Song of Songs 4:16 NLT
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you… and He will also heal you so you can draw near to others. Intimacy can come.
If you benefitted from this post, you might like these books of mine:
- Lead Your Family Like Jesus by Tricia Goyer
- Praying For Your Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His by Robin Jones Gunn and Tricia Goyer
- Generation NeXt Marriage: The Couple’s Guide to Keeping It Together by Tricia Goyer
Let’s play a game!
My book The Kissing Bridge is a featured item in Barnes & Noble through August 18th! Next time you’re at Barnes & Noble, snap a photo of the book and post it on social media with the hashtag #iSpyTriciaG – You’ll be entered to win a $25 Starbucks gift-card and 5-book prize pack!
Only those in the US are eligible to win. Keep your eyes peeled for the winner announcement on August 19th!
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