Memoir Archives - Tricia Goyer

In 2009 my first memoir came out, Blue Like Play Dough. Yes, I might have been hoping to ride on the tails of another popular book at the time . . . Blue Like Jazz. As a mom of three at the time I felt stretched and pulled like a piece of play dough. There was part of my life that felt filled with crumbs.

In 2009, John and I had been talking about adoption. I had no idea that at the end of 2009 we’d be chosen by a birth mom to adopt her baby girl. Or, in the next five years we’d adopt six more children from foster care. I almost laugh as a mom of ten kids—many of them with special needs—of what advice I could gave as a mom of three. My view of parenting was so narrow at the time. I didn’t understand what is was like parenting a child with learning disabilities or medical conditions. Yes, there were parenting struggles, but compared to what I’ve faced after these adoptions I didn’t understand that there could be so many more bigger, more difficult issues that parents face. I understand that now.

Yet, I got something right in Blue Like Play Dough. Instead of acting as if I had all the answers, I pointed readers to where I found hope: in Jesus. Here’s a quote from Blue Like Play Dough:

By physically going to God every morning, I’m placing myself in His hands. His love smoothes out the rough edges and reminds me I don’t need to do everything for everyone. I just need to accept love and give it. He’ll take care of the rest.

I’ve been a mom for nineteen years, and I’m still not a perfect parent or person. I’m a mess actually. But I’m a mess that I let God get a hold of. Not because I’m spiritual, but because I was—and am—desperate. I’ve done many things wrong, but I do one thing right. When I’m uncertain, I seek God. And I fill up with His love in order to pour it out.

Not always first, but eventually.

It’s easy to share how I got that right eight years ago—the need to turn to Jesus—but it’s harder to share what I got wrong. But recently, when talking to one of my adult children, I learned where I’d missed the mark . . . I’d put too much pressure on my kids to be perfect, even if it was unintentional. Just like a pastor’s kid or missionary kid, I learned there is pressure being raised by a well-known author. Often my kids didn’t share their struggles because they didn’t want to disappoint me (or my readers). They wanted me to think they always got it right.

And that’s what I’m changing as I’m actively parenting kids ages 6-17. I’m letting my children know that I expect that they will mess up—everyone does—and I will always be here for them when they do. They can come to me and talk to me about anything. Also, if any of us was perfect we wouldn’t need Jesus.

I urge you to do the same with your kids. Let them know they can come to you when (not if) they mess up.

Also, if you need parenting encouragement pick up a copy of Blue Like Play Dough for yourself or a friend. There is a lot of encouraging parenting advice in that book . . . even though I only had three kids at the time. 🙂 And right now it’s only available for $1.99 on Kindle between now and July 30th! https://goo.gl/TyuLor

Finally, I’d love to hear what you got wrong (and right) during your parenting years. You can always send me at short note at: tricia@triciagoyer.com. This is my personal email that I only give to friends. And, yes, I do consider you a friend.

And remember if this summer is making you feel stretched and pulled take time to place yourself in God’s hands!

Somethings gotten right, and one gotten wrong. Read more from @TriciaGoyer #bluelikeplaydough

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P.S. Read the first chapter of Blue Like Play Dough for free here!

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen.

Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

This week on Living Inspired I’m excited to be bringing you four phenomenal guests! Mother Dolores, the nun who kissed Elvis and Alexandra Kuykendall.

Sign up below for your chance to win a copy of Mother Dolores’ memoir, The Ear of the Heart or Alexandra Kuykendall’s memoir, The Artist’s Daughter.

**Due to shipping cost, giveaway open to US only.**

More about Mother Dolores and The Ear of the Heart (Ignatius Press, 2013): Dolores Hart stunned Hollywood in 1963, when after ten highly successful feature films, she chose to enter a contemplative monastery. Now, fifty years later, Mother Dolores gives this fascinating account of her life, with co-author and life-long friend, Richard DeNeut.

Dolores was a bright and beautiful college student when she made her film debut with Elvis Presley in Paramount’s 1957 Loving You. She acted in nine more movies with other big stars such as Montgomery Clift, Anthony Quinn and Myrna Loy. She also gave a Tony-nominated performance in the Broadway play The Pleasure of His Company and appeared in two television shows, including The Virginian. A new chapter in her life occurred while playing Saint Clare in the movie Francis of Assisi, which was filmed on location in Italy.

Born Dolores Hicks to a complicated and colorful Chicago family, Mother Hart has traveled a charmed yet challenging road in her journey toward God, serenity and, yes, love. She entered the Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem, Conn., at the peak of her career, not in order to leave the glamorous world of acting she had dreamed of since childhood, but in order to answer a mysterious summons she heard with the “ear of the heart”. While contracted for another film and engaged to be married, she gave up everything to become a bride of Christ. Lavishly illustrated with 64 pages of photos.

“Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.”
Saint Benedict

“Mother Dolores Hart is a remarkable woman with a remarkable story-one of love, devotion and faith.”

—Maria Shriver, bestselling author of Just Who Will You Be?

“Read now for some lively insights from the girl who kissed Elvis in the movies to the Mother Superior who gets the last laugh in real life.”

—Paula Prentiss, actress

Purchase your copy of Ear of the Heart.

More about Alexandra Kuykendall: Alexandra Kuykendall is on staff at MOPS International (Mothers of Preschoolers) where she encourages mothers of young children to keep growing as they take on their new mothering identity. She is a regular contributor and consulting editor to MomSense magazine, Connections magazine, and the MOPS blog. A frequent speaker for MOPS, Alexandra has been featured on Good Morning America. As the mother of four young children, she continues to refine her mothering identity. She lives in Denver, Colorado, with her husband, Derek, and their daughters. Connect with Alexandra at http://alexandrakuykendall.com/

More about The Artist’s Daughter (Revell, 2013): It takes a lifetime to know what—and who—defines you.

When Alexandra Kuykendall became a mother, she knew she had to go back to the beginning. To that hot July afternoon in Barcelona when she met her father for the first time. The only daughter of a single, world-traveling mother and an absent artist father, Alexandra embarks on a soul-searching trip into the past to make sense of the layers of her life—both the memories she experienced and the ones she wished for.

The Artist’s Daughter will take you on a journey of discovery through childhood, marriage, and motherhood. Through short vignettes full of both wonder and heartache, Alexandra seeks answers to three life-defining questions: Am I lovable? Am I loved? Am I loving? If you long to better understand the path your life has taken, where it is heading, and who is guiding you, this revealing and refreshing story will push you toward those answers as it changes your heart.

“For every person who has wondered what love, family, and grace really mean, and for those of us who have longed to know that no matter our story, grace is the ending.”

—Shauna Niequist, author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine

“The Artist’s Daughter brings to life the power of a story and at the same time challenges us all to dig in and discover the one we were created to tell.”

—Matthew West, award-winning musician

“A refreshing perspective on motherhood, forgiveness, faith, and belonging. I adore this book.”

—Emily P. Freeman, author of Grace for the Good Girl and Graceful

“Any mother who has felt lost in her new identity will find a friend in this book. It is the real deal—the hard, beautiful, and holy view of motherhood.”

—Lisa-Jo Baker, social media manager for DaySpring, and blogger at lisajobaker.com

Purchase your copy of The Artist’s Daughter.

Something I got right with my first parenting memoir . . . and one thing I got wrong

Podcast: Living Inspired: Mother Dolores and Alexandra Kuykendall

To listen to the interview: go here and click on the player in the upper right corner of the screen.

Thursday at 3:00 pm Central.

Sign up below for your chance to win a copy of Mother Dolores’ memoir, The Ear of the Heart or Alexandra Kuykendall’s memoir, The Artist’s Daughter.