Mom, You Need Oxygen

I am a responsible mom. The mom who throughly cleans the house before my grandkids, friends, and in-laws come over, even though I know the combined kids (thirteen of them) will completely mess up the house.

I am a diligent mom. We have family dinners and nightly storytime. My kids always have clean clothes. We listen to Bible songs in the car.

I am a thoughtful mom. I encourage my kids. I (rarely) raise my voice. I listen to my kids and make eye contact with them when I do.

I am an exhausted mom. It’s hard work being responsible, being diligent, being thoughtful.

I am a mom who needs a break once in a while. Even though I don’t like to admit it. I think that I can keep going, going, going. (I can’t.)

Recently, I had the chance to write the novelization for Moms’ Night Out. One section talks about a mom’s need for “oxygen.” And in the novel it goes something like this:

Instead of anger at [Allyson] making plans without asking [Sean], his face brightened. “You know how a flight attendant goes through the safety thing?” He talked with his hands, emphasizing his words, walking back toward them. “You know when you have to put on your oxygen first before assisting others?”

Allyson’s brow furrowed, and she wondered where he was going with this. “Are we flying somewhere is this what we’re doing?” She cocked her head to the side.

“You need your oxygen mask, Allyson. You need your mask on, before assisting others.” He pointed his fingers to Allyson, then to Bridget and then back to her. “Right? Before you can help others.”

I remember watching this movie and writing that scene. I also told myself, “I need to pay attention to this.” It wasn’t a passing thought. I told myself to REALLY pay attention. For years (honestly) I rarely took a break. I went and went and went. And then I crashed. I’d get emotional. I’d feel like I was the Worst. Mom. Ever. I needed . . . oxygen. Yes, I needed (and still need) to pay attention to that cinematic advice.

Four ways to get oxygen:

A long conversation with a friend. With no kids around. To talk about adult stuff. To share dreams. To talk about shoes or a Scripture verse you read this week. On the phone is fine. In person is better.
A date night with your husband to watch a movie you really want to see. A movie that doesn’t have dancing puppets or talking animals. A movie that will cause your heart to pound or make you laugh or cry—your choice.
A visit to the library. Or the mall. Or the park. Or the museum—wherever you can get charged up.
Or, like in the movie Moms’ Night Out, go out with a group of friends. Dress up. Go out for a nice dinner. Or . . . maybe a fun night of roller skating or bowling.

Moms may feel guilty for getting oxygen, but when we care for ourselves, we’re able to care for others even better. Everyone, even diligent, thoughtful, and exhausted moms, need oxygen. Where are you going to get yours today?

4 ways for busy moms to get oxygen (and a break!) @TriciaGoyer #MomsNightOut

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Read the original post, and other awesome posts, over on ForTheFamily.org!

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for blessing me with the gift of children. I love my kids, but I’m so tired! Please help me get into the habit of taking a break so I can re-energize and be a better, happier mom.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources You Might Like:

Moms’ Night Out by Tricia Goyer
Moms’ Night Out and Other Things I Miss: Devotions to Help You Survive by Kerri Pomarolli

I have a few books on sale right now! Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

Novelization & Motherhood

An Interview with Tricia Goyer

What is the novelization process like? How many times did I have to watch the movie? How can moms find the time for a moms’ night out in the midst of chaos? Good questions! I was recently interviewed about my novelization of the popular film, Moms’ Night Out and the importance of having “mommy time.” Check out the interview below to learn more!

Q: This book is a novelization of the new movie Moms’ Night Out, starring Patricia Heaton, Sean Astin and others. We’re used to novels being turned into movies, but not so much movies being turned into novels. How does the novelization of a movie work?

A novelization means a novel inspired by the movie. I was contacted in December asking if I’d be interested in this project. I’d seen the trailer, and (as a mom of six with a hectic household) I immediately said, “Yes!” They sent me the movie, and I watched it a few times just to get an idea of the story. I loved it! It made me laugh and really spoke to my heart. Then with the screenplay in hand, I watched the movie a scene at a time. I’d catch the dialogue, and then I’d go back and bring the characters’ actions to life on the page. So, yes, I can pretty much quote the movie as it plays!

Q: How many times did you have to watch the movie in order to write the book?

I didn’t count, but I’d say I watched each scene 20-50 times, depending on how much action or dialogue there was!

Q: How involved do you get to be with the movie premiere and all the excitement of a theatrical release?

I was so honored to be able to go to Hollywood to be part of the premiere on April 29. They listed me as “Talent,” and I got to ride to the TCL Chinese Theater in a fancy car, walk the Red Carpet, watch the movie sitting next to Alex Hendrick (an awesome movie star/producer) and then have a wonderful time getting to know all the cast better at the after party. It truly was a magical night!

Q: You’re the mother of six and a best-selling author and speaker. What advice do you have for moms who are trying to juggle their work schedule and their family responsibilities?

Know how much you can say yes to. This year the only extra-curricular activity my children were a part of was Awanas. I only have one weekly commitment other than church and our small group, and that is our Teen MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers Support Group). We spend a lot of time playing with the neighbors and hanging out as a family. I’ve been at the spot where I’ve been running place to place with kids’ activities, and that’s not fun! After raising three kids, I’ve learned having dinners together and family time is a priority. I also balance my work commitments. As a writer my work is steady, and I have to make sure not to take on too many projects. It’s hard for me! Just last week I had to cut out some projects I really like just for the fact that I can’t do it all.

Motherhood 101: Know how much you can say ‘yes’ to! @triciagoyer #momsnightout

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Q: Moms really do sacrifice so much for their families; why is it important for moms to make sure they’re finding rest and encouragement?

I love the well-known phrase, “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” When I am exhausted and overwhelmed, my whole family suffers. When I have time for friends and I fuel up on God, then I’m such a better mom. When I’m encouraged, then I pour encouragement out. When I’m rested, I give of myself with patience and love. It’s hard to step away, but so important too!

Q: How often do you get to have a Moms’ Night Out? Do you have a group of mommy-friends you’re able to connect with regularly?

I’m part of a small group of women at our church. They meet monthly, and I’m able to make it about every other month. I also have some girlfriends I’ll meet for lunch. Sometimes it’s hard to justify paying a babysitter to go to lunch, but I always come back refreshed. I also lead a Teen MOPS support group. The attendees and leaders range from age 17-55. We care for one another, love one another and draw support from one another. I get just as much back as I give!

Q: What’s the most comical experience you’ve had on a Moms’ Night Out?

Once a group of writer friends and I had gathered to go to a writers’ conference. We all came to town early to eat dinner at a very expensive restaurant. We dressed up and enjoyed the exquisite gardens as we walked to the front doors, only to discover it was . . . closed! We drove around for a while and finally ended up eating at a hole in the wall barbecue pit with picnic tables (inside), red-checkered, plastic table clothes and plastic forks. Not what we had in mind!

Q: Raising kids can be difficult, but there are some funny moments along the way – share one of your funniest memories involving your kids.

I have one from yesterday. We laughed so hard! Our daughter (six) was riding in the back of the car.

Her: “Mom, Dad!” she called out. “Grandma was sweeping the front porch and a black, wet cat leaped out of nowhere and jumped on her!”

Me: “Sweetie, remember we’ve been working about not lying or not telling stories.”

Her: “I saw a cat.”

It’s just a balance to be creative and to be truthful . . . we try to guide our children in both!

Q: How does your husband help out in those moments when you just have to get a break, like the moms in the film Moms’ Night Out? Are there other people in your life you can turn to?

I have the best husband ever! John and I adopted two children from the foster care system, and they came with a variety of issues. On most evenings, he’d take over the kid duty as soon as he got home from work because he knew I’d had a long day. Then on Saturdays he’d load up the three little ones into his car for an “adventure.” I’d enjoy the peace and write during this time. I also have two wonderful babysitters and some great neighbors who I can reach out to for help. Yes, I am blessed! Having a support system is SO important!

Q: This movie and the novel are both very funny and lighthearted, but the day-to-day tasks of being a mother can become overwhelming. What advice do you have for the mom who is feeling completely overcome by her responsibilities?

Remember that God is there for you. You don’t have to do it alone. One of my favorite Scripture verses is Isaiah 40:11, “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” God wants to be there for you to guide you and assist you. Turn to Him. Even quick prayers, blubbered by an exhausted mom, make a difference.

Q: What advice would you give to dads about ways they can help alleviate some of the pressures moms feel?

I’d say that when it comes to helping, every little thing makes a difference. When my husband loads the dishwasher I’m so grateful! Also remind them often of their importance. Moms need to hear this most of all.

Q: Where can our audience find out more about the movie and book editions of Moms’ Night Out?

momsnightoutmovie.com.

What does it take to turn a movie into book? Find out from @TriciaGoyer #momsnightout

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Steps You Can Take

Know your limits. It’s okay to say, “No.”
In the midst of your busy schedule, schedule in “mommy time.”
Get in touch with your girlfriends to find a time that works for all of them to get together.
Make sure you have a support system! Have close friends and neighbors available to help out when needed.
Always remember you are not in this alone, even when it feels like it!
Take time either by yourself or with friends to recharge and re-energize. Your kids don’t need a mom who is completely worn out from trying to do it all.

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for blessing me with the gift of children. Guide me as I raise my children after your own heart. Give me the energy to keep up with their needs and help me find time to re-energize so I can be a better, refreshed mom.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources You Might Like:

Moms’ Night Out by Tricia Goyer
Moms’ Night Out and Other Things I Miss: Devotions to Help You Survive by Kerri Pomarolli

I have a few books on sale right now! Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.