parenthood

January 22, 2019 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

What My Anger Showed Me About My Heart

I am so thankful for writer friends who support each other. Recently my friend Elisa Morgan asked if I’d write a guest post for her blog. She asked me to be real, and I was. This ended up being one of Elisa’s top blogs of 2018.

Do you ever struggle with anger? Thankfully there is help.

What My Anger Showed Me About My Heart

I never thought I was an angry person until we adopted kids from the foster care system, and I had to daily deal with kids blowing up in my face time and time again. Soon it wasn’t just during their “angry” moments that I found myself angry. The anger seeped into other areas. I was mad because of the chaos and the mess, too.

God, John and I felt like we were doing the right thing here … why is this so, so hard? Why am I so mad all the time?

What God showed me is that the process of adoption wasn’t just about John and I helping kids and transforming their lives. God wanted to show me there was work he wanted to do in my life. My “mad” was a way for me to realize there were changes that need to take place in my heart, too.

These are a few things I learned:

I learned to depend on God more.

I’m a highly productive person who can manage a lot. I write, and I homeschool. I mentor young moms, and I keep a tidy house. Or … I should say I used to be able to do all these things. When I couldn’t do these things as well, I found myself mad about that. So now I was not only not as productive but angry too!

The first few years after our adoptions were hard, and I found myself resenting the time that anger took away from “my” things. Yet as I turned to God I realized how much I’d been doing on my own. Discovering my own weaknesses and shortcomings made me depend on God more. I needed him to give me wisdom for these new challenges. I needed him to help me control my anger. And I also needed him even more to do the things I used to find so easy, like work projects. God taught me to surrender like I never knew it before, and I became closer to him in the process.

I learned just because God calls us to something that doesn’t make it easy.

Just because God called John and me to adoption didn’t mean it would be a piece of cake. I don’t know why I thought it should be. God called Moses to lead the Israelites into the wilderness and that wasn’t easy. God inspired David to fight a giant with only a few stones. He called Paul to preach the Gentiles who wanted to stone him. (And did!)

You can read the rest here.

You can also find out more about my book Calming Angry Kids here. (It talks about angry moms, too!)

Sometimes it’s hard to share our struggles, but I’ve found it helps when we find those who are willing to listen in and care. If you have a prayer request, please just hit REPLY and let me know. I’d love to pray with you!

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February 6, 2014 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How Motherhood has Stretched Me

Motherhood has stretched me . . . and I’m not just talking about the marks that my polka-dot bathing suit fails to hide. (With each child’s birth, my hips and thighs expanded along with my heart!) Although my physical body has changed since I’ve had children, my mental, emotional, and spiritual shape have been transformed even more.

I think like a mom, have a mom’s heart . . . and my ears are now tuned to K-MOM frequency. While everyone seems to have a built-in warning system (part of God’s standard package), only moms can recognize the little signal that goes off in their heads—the silent warning that tells them something’s really not right and they do need to check on the lack of noise in the other room or the thump coming down the stairs.

I’ve discovered that this God-given radar has morphed as my children have grown. I’ve learned to listen to the intricacies, tuning into the minor things that hint that something’s not exactly right, such as when I see sadness in Alyssa’s expression. Or when Casey looks away a little too quickly. Or when Bella seems fine, but that nudging inside tells me to ask . . . just in case. In moments like these I feel God’s Spirit telling me to stop. To turn off the computer, stop the housecleaning, or call my friend back later instead of answering the phone. Then the stop is usually followed by an urging to find a way to connect within this small window of time.

What about you? How has motherhood stretched you?

How has #motherhood stretched you? Share with @TriciaGoyer!

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Did you hear the good news? My book The Swiss Courier (that I co-wrote with Mike Yorkey) is on sale! My new book Balanced is available now via Amazon and Barnes & Noble for only $2.99 (digital only)!

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February 5, 2014 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

#Parenthood

My #Parenthood

. . . a blog post in tweets

Wishing there was a handbook to go with the squalling newborn. #parenthood

Rejoicing when your child understands and accepts Jesus! #parenthood

Not setting an alarm and knowing that you’re still going to be up before 7 o’clock. #parenthood

#Parenthood is . . . Share with @TriciaGoyer using the hashtag #parenthood!

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Wishing you could take the fever upon yourself #parenthood

Wondering if you should try to scale the jungle gym to save the toddler without needing someone to save you. #parenthood

Being taken to the church bathroom and shown that your daughter wrote her name with a sharpie . . . and thinking “look at that neat printing!” #parenthood

$Girl near blackboard$

Wondering if your child will ever understand long division. #parenthood

Wishing that your pre-teens’ biggest problems still had to do with long division. #parenthood

Wondering if it’s OK to follow your child to work on his first day with his driver’s license just to make sure he makes it. #parenthood

Praying your teen daughter will get a clear revelation that the awkward dude she’s dating is NOT the one. #parenthood

How would you describe #parenthood? @TriciaGoyer wants to know!

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Attending your child’s high school graduation and realizing he’s no longer a child. #parenthood

Hoping not to be too obvious with thumbs-ups, grins & nods when your grown son brings home a young woman you think IS the one. #parenthood

Holding your grandson and realizing he’s a part of you, too. #grandparenthood

Seeing your granddaughter smile and giggling yourself because she has your dimple! #grandparenthood

And in my case . . .

Realizing there is nothing so beautiful, so worthy, so stretching and God-needing as #parenthood . . . and deciding with joy to do it all over again! #adoption

Thanking God He chose these kids for you and you for these kids. #parenthood #grandparenthood #family

Did you hear the good news? My book The Swiss Courier (that I co-write with Mike Yorkey) is on sale! My new book Balanced is available now via Amazon and Barnes & Noble for only $2.99 (digital only)!

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.