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Don’t Miss Your Kids in All Your “God Projects”

Don't Miss Your Kids in All Your "God Projects" - TriciaGoyer.com



Don’t Miss Your Kids in All Your “God Projects”

 

I’m a project person. I like lists to check off and gold stars (even if they are imagined) placed on my jobs that are well done. As an author I like to type “The End”at the completion of my novels. As a Teen MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) leader, I like getting into my car after a meeting and letting out a contented sigh, knowing the speaker’s message touched a great need.

The problem is that kids don’t like to be projects. And even if I’ve created the perfect “moment”as a mom, they’ll do something crazy like cut their American Girl doll’s hair off with no warning. (Just like two of my daughters did just last night!)

As a project person, I tend to gravitate toward things I can fix or manage. If faced with cleaning out the refrigerator or coloring with my three young kids, my natural tendency is to let the fridge win. After all, the fridge looks so shiny when it’s done … and the kids’ papers? Not so much, especially when they don’t color in the lines!

Even worse is when a “God Project” is involved. You know what I’m talking about. Doing a good thing for God, like planning a Sunday school lesson or writing an inspiring blog post (ahem). Those things draw me even more than the fridge, mostly because I don’t have to deal with moldy food, but also because I’m doing something for God. Didn’t He say to go into all the world and preach the gospel?

[Read the rest of this post on MomLifeToday.com]

Prayer

God, thank you for my children and the desire I have to serve you. Please open my eyes to see the moments I am missing with my children. Allow me to let go of whatever projects I’m doing that don’t serve my family in the long-run.

I’m a project person. Problem: kids don’t like projects. @TriciaGoyer

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More Resources

Whit’s End Mealtime Devotions: 90 Faith-Building Ideas Your Kids Will Eat Up! by Chrystal Bowman and Tricia Goyer

Lead Your Family Like Jesus by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges & Tricia Goyer

Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph

Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God & My Soul by Jennie Allen

To celebrate launch of The Lulu Tree Boutique, I’m doing a giveaway!

Ten winners will receive a copy of my book“Life Interrupted.” One grand prize winner will receive “Life Interrupted” and a Lulu Doll! Only those in the U.S. are eligible to win. Winners will receive an email and be announced next week! a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Family Volunteering: Tips & Tricks

Family Volunteering: Tips & Tricks - TriciaGoyer.com

 



Family Volunteering: Tips & Tricks

Give back. Together.

You know the old saying, “It is better to give than receive.” For many families the best gifts they can give is the gift of themselves … through volunteering.

Family volunteering has been an interest to homeschooling advocates for years. Raymond and Dorothy Moore recommend an hour a day of home or community service. Can you imagine how your family (homeschooling or not) could impact the community by volunteering an hour a day? Even an hour a week would add up in the long run! Here’s how to start:

Fit the Activity to the Child

Expose your children to various volunteering opportunities then ask them, ‘What would you like to do?’ Give them resources, then empower them to do it. If your daughter has a lot of energy, or your son enjoys cooking, suggest an activity to match like mowing a neighbors lawn or making cookies for the family next door.

Work as a Team

“Through volunteer work, families spend quality time together, help others, have fun, communicate and develop family self-esteem,” says Lori Goudreau, manager of the Family Service Program. “Parents can reinforce family values, and kids can share their time and talents, and even acquire new skills.”  A lot of what your kids can learn to do will take instruction time from you.  All of that is time well spent together.

“Kids are more likely to stick with an avenue of service if they volunteer beside a parent or grandparent,” my friend Jan Johnson reminded me. Volunteering within the context of their family gives kids the security they need to reach out to others.

Be Prepared

When preparing for a volunteer activity it’s important to know what to expect.

Here are some questions to ask:

  • Where do we need to go?
  • When do we need to be there?
  • Who will we report to?
  • What are we expected to bring?
  • and … Why is our role important?

Knowing what to expect ahead of time will help children approach their tasks with confidence.

Having expectations will help children approach their tasks with confidence. @TriciaGoyer

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Give Feedback

Kids love to know when they’ve done a good job. After volunteering, talk to your child about the experience. Let her know how it makes you feel to see her acting in such a mature and giving nature. It will be just the thing that will make your child want to do it again.

Value the Lessons They Learn

I have discovered with my own kids that volunteering helped them establish their identity. When my daughter Leslie was 10-years-old, she used to baby-sit at our local crisis pregnancy center. In return, she discovered that her caring attitude and helping heart was valuable to many young moms in need. It’s a discovery that has impacted her as she’s grown into a young adult.

“Beyond citizenship, kids can learn so many other life-lessons from charity,” adds Kathy Saulitis, director of Kids Care, a national volunteer organization designed specifically for children. “They learn cooperation, tolerance, problem-solving, communication, self-awareness, confidence, respect for life and loyalty.”

And what mom doesn’t want that for her kids?

The same spirit that inspired President Kennedy to create the Peace Corps on a national level can be a very real part of the lives of you and your children. Your family can be a blessing to those in your community, and you’ll benefit as well!

Prayer

God, thank you for my family. Give us opportunities to give back to our community together. Give us a common love for the people and place nearby. Help us to value the lessons we learn as a team.

 

More Resources

Doing Good Together was founded in 2004 on the belief that when parents engage with their children in community service, they pass along the spirit of giving and goodness to their sons and daughters, strengthen their families, and create a new generation of volunteers, philanthropists, and kind, caring adults.

The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties by Willian J. Doherty

The Busy Family’s Guide to Volunteering: Do Good, Have Fun, Make a Difference as a Family! by Jenny Friedman

Wide-Open World: How Volunteering Around the Globe Changed One Family’s Lives Forever by John Marshall

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Parenting: The Power of Teachable Moments

As a parent, it’s important to leverage The Power of Teachable Moments. But how we do that matters. Kindness, grace, and mercy can help when taking the stuff of everyday life and using it to lead our kid’s in wisdom. Here are some tips to guide you.

 

Parenting: The Power of Teachable Moments

It was an ordinary day.

I was leaving the doctor’s office with my three kids when the homeless man approached us. He was in a wheelchair and he was missing a leg. I’d just gotten the kids buckled into their car seats when he approached asking for food. I “just so happened” to have a packed lunch with me. I’d also been to the bakery, and I’d picked up some donuts as a treat for my grandma.

I gave the man the lunch and offered him the biggest donut. His eyes grew wide. “Is this cream-filled?” It turned out it was and the man’s face filled with joy. He ate it with pleasure.

It was only as I backed away that I realized my kids had been watching everything.

It was only as I backed away that I realized my kids had been watching everything. @TriciaGoyer

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Even though I never intended it to be, that was a teachable moment.

We talked about homelessness and caring for those God brings in our path. We talked about sharing what we had. About kindness. And that night—as the kids shared about the experience with their dad—we talked about it again.

How can you take advantage of the unexpected, teachable moments in life? Here are some ideas from experts (and expert moms).

Creative Conversation

“Learn the art of meandering conversation. When you’re working a puzzle with your kids or riding in the car together, talk about worries or other crisis times. As a way to get started, use something you heard about, something you saw on TV, or something that happened to you as a child.” —Ron Rose, Seven Things Kids Never Forget

I especially love the idea of sharing stories from my own childhood. There are lessons each of us have learned that can be passed on to our kids.

Be real

“When I fail, when I say something really stupid, I ask my children’s forgiveness.” —Maxine, mother of four children

Being real means owning up to our faults and exhibiting what it means to be humble and thoughtful. Seeing the way we respond will teach our children how to act.

 

 

Show you care

“When uncertainty clouds your children’s vision, lead them to their knees in prayer–pray with them often and about everything.” —John William Smith, Hugs for Mom

One day on the way to town we saw an accident and I told my kids we should pray for the drivers. Now every time they see an accident (or even someone pulled over!) my children want to pray. Whenever I see a concern or worry in their gazes over anything I know it’s time to pray.

Be available

“When my children ask me a question, I make a point to stop whatever I am doing to answer it right away. I want them to know I place priority on them and their questions.” —Tamela, mother of two

I’ve found that eye contact with my children makes a big difference. When I take time to focus on their faces a connection is made. If they’re coming to me I want my children to know I’m available and I care. If I don’t take time to listen to my children about the little things, they won’t come to me about the big issues of life.

 

 

Take advantage of all life’s situations

“I try to share words of wisdom during fun times, like when we’re enjoying popcorn and a movie or picking flowers outside. It’s then that they’re more likely to listen.” —Cindy, mother of five

Give your time

“It is clear to me that the time [my children and I] spent together in those formative years strengthened our relationships in their teenage years. Our time together bonded us to each other and laid a foundation of open communication, helping us establish mutual trust and loyalty that grew into a warm, lasting friendship.” —Donna J. Miller, Growing Little Women

I’ve found that bonds are built when I appreciate my children’s strengths. Making a list of those strengths, thanking God for them, and praising our children makes a difference in their hearts. And as they grow the connection grows!

Today’s Post is Printable!

Click here to download the .pdf of highlights, points to remember, and further questions to apply to your parenting.

 

 

How about you? How do you take advantage of teachable moments with your children? Here’s a prayer to help you bring God into all the moments that make up your day.

Prayer

God, show me the moments that I can use with my children. Allow us to take advantage of every second by creatively conversing and experiencing life together. Make me sensitive to the moments of life that will have a big impact on my child’s life.

 

In Him,

Tricia

 

More Resources

Growing Little Women by Donna J. Miller

 

Hugs for Mom by John William Smith

 

Seven Things Kids Never Forget by Ron Rose

 

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” Read full privacy policy here.

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In the World, Not of It: The Christian Bubble

In The World, Not Of It - The Christian Bubble - TriciaGoyer.com



In the World, Not of It: The Christian Bubble

 

When we moved to Little Rock in 2010, I knew it would be easy to slip into the Bible Belt bubble. My husband’s job was with a Christian organization (FamilyLife), so surrounding ourselves with like-minded friends would be easy. Big, beautiful churches are within a few miles of our home, and I knew we could make great friends at church, too.

But is that all life is about—to be surrounding with fellow Christians and enjoy life? Deep inside I felt it wasn’t. How could I raise my child to believe the concept of “giving to the least of these” when I wasn’t making the effort to cross town and reach out?

Bubble-Breaking Church

We started by attending an inner-city church (mosaicchurch.net). We were surrounded by people who weren’t like us in many ways. I also began a support group for teenage mothers, and my town teens helped with it. My son Nathan was our door monitor, letting the young moms in. (Because of the area, we cannot leave the church doors unlocked). My daughter Leslie volunteered to babysit every week, and my toddler daughter, Alyssa, made quick friends with the other kids. Coming from Montana (and a church where most of the people were like us), we felt we were breaking out of the bubble big time . . . but was that enough?

Bubble-Breaking Neighborhood

When we go to church or the grocery store, we see homeless people and lower-income people on a daily basis. As we built relationships within the inner city, we realized it’s not about “us helping them”—we realized we’re all the same and Jesus loves us all. Making a point to spend time in the inner city has increased our compassion as we build friendships and discover that we can find amazing people no matter where we live.

Show children they can be the hands and feet of Jesus as you give, love, and serve together. @TriciaGoyer

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But isn’t Our Job as Parents to Help Our Kids Stay Innocent?

Right now our kids at home are twenty, seven, four, and almost four-years-old, but two are out of the nest and living amazing lives. My older kids have been volunteering to help with teenage moms since they were elementary-school age. I remember when my daughter first started helping to babysit; she was only eight years old and heard all types of things come out of the mouths of the teen moms, like who was sleeping with whom, who had what disease, etc. At first I was horrified . . . my poor, innocent girl! Yet her questions about what she heard opened up amazing conversations about sexual purity, life choices, the way people are raised, economic poverty, etc.

Because of those conversations, my daughter became passionate about purity—after all she saw the consequences of sex outside of marriage. Just today I was talking via Skype to Leslie, who is on a two-month mission trip to the Czech Republic, and she told me she was asked to speak to a church youth group about sexual purity. You’ll never know how God will use your kids and how He’ll prepare them.

That being said, I have three young kids and I do my best to protect them. We do need to protect those little ears at times, especially during the ages when we can’t sit and have a long conversation about what they just heard.

But the Thought of Exposing My Kids Makes Me Nervous

Yes, anxiety comes when we expose our children to the hard things of life. As a parent, we want to protect our children. We want to keep them as innocent as we can, as long as possible. Yet we also must “go yet into the world.” (Isn’t that what Jesus commanded?) Needy, hurting people who need Christ are everywhere. The greatest example we can give our children of obeying Jesus is to show them people (who sometimes make bad choices and live hard lives) are different than us but that those people need to know about Jesus, too. It’s our job to tell them about Him!

As Christian parents, we don’t need to show our kids smut for smut’s sake. Instead, we need to point out people in need and show them that Jesus can transform anyone. Show them we can be the hands and feet of Jesus as we give, love, and serve.

Prayer

Thank you for placing me in a world that needs your love. Bring me opportunities to break out of my normal pattern of living in order to show your love to the people that need it.

More Resources

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Parenting Grace {Printable!}

Parenting Grace. What do I mean by that? Don’t Seek From Your Parenting What God Has Provided Through Grace. What do you want most as a mom? Read on to hear what my answer would have been years ago and what it is today.

 

Parenting Grace Triciagoyer.com

 

If someone would have asked me that years ago I would have said something like, “To raise children to love God and to serve others. To raise smart, successful adults.”

I would have said that, but it wouldn’t have been the whole truth. In my mind, yes, but not in my actions—not in my heart.

What do you want most as a mom? Worth that should come from God alone? @TriciaGoyer

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As a young mom, I made many decisions concerning my parenting, and the truth was deep down these decisions were not Christ-motivated. Instead:

  • As a mom, I wanted the approval of others.
  • As a mom, I was trying to live up to unrealistic expectations I’d set up in my mind.
  • As a mom, I was trying to earn God’s approval, instead of understanding what He’d already provided through His grace.

Mom, maybe you can relate. Are you trying to seek from your parenting what God has already provided through His grace?

 

The right approval comes from God

 

"If we take our meaning in life from out family, our work, a cause, or some achievement other than God, they enslave us." - Tim KellerI became a Christian when I was pregnant with my oldest child but somewhere along the way my zeal for the cause of Christ was pushed to the side by the hunger and praise of people. I wanted to be seen as a “good mom” by others.

“If we take our meaning in life from our family, our work, a cause, or some achievement other than God, they enslave us,” says Tim Keller. Too often I filled my schedule with activities that I thought were for my kids, but really they were to make me look good.

I was enslaved by a busy schedule in an effort to look good, but I’m thankful that over the years God reminded me who I truly serve. As I’ve sought God, He’s helped me to adjust my thoughts and where I find my meaning.

Yes, I’m still busy. I homeschool three kids, write books, blog, speak (on occasion) and lead a teen moms support group, but deep in my heart, I’m doing these things as service to God. Deep down I can tell the difference.

My kids are only involved in a few activities a week (like Sunday School and Awana) because I prayed about it and God and I feel these things will benefit them—and not because I’m trying to “keep up” with society’s ideas of what kids should be involved in. I can’t describe the feeling of peace that “not trying to keep up” brings.
 

Realistic expectations come from focusing on what’s already been provided by God.

 

I don't need approval of others to be worthy. - TriciaGoyer.comWhen I think about it, as a mom I’ll never be able to get the approval of others—ever. I can never live up to “their” ideas of what a good mom is, because everyone has a different opinion.

I don’t need the approval of others to be worthy. I already have God’s approval because of what Jesus has done for me and in me. God sees me and thinks, “This is my child, who I love completely. This is my daughter, and I am preparing her a heavenly home.” When I live my life out of those thoughts of approval everything changes.

“This is my child, who I love completely. This is my daughter, and I am preparing her a heavenly home.” ~God

 

Parenting Grace changes everything.

 

Somewhere on the parenting journey, it became easy to focus on others. In the process, I pushed God’s grace to the side. Do you find yourself doing that? Do you tend to try to take credit for the good things you do or the good things you have?

Saved by Grace - TriciaGoyer.com“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT

Being reminded of grace brings peace to my day. I don’t have to “strive” for approval. Instead, I simply have to accept what’s already been given.

Some days I look around and think, “The house is a mess. I have no plans for dinner. The kids are out of control but God still loves me at this moment absolutely and completely.” I turn to God’s Word and I’m reminded again and again who I’m trying to please.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Galatians 1:10 NIV

 

Approval starts with humility and faith.

 

This sounds wonderful—this seeking God’s approval, but how do we get there?

People Pleasing - TriciaGoyer.com“Faith coupled with humility is the secret to every kingdom woman’s success,” says Tony Evans and Crystal Evans Hurst.

We need to have faith that as we see God first, He will guide us in our parenting. We have to be humble enough to realize that doing things God’s way means not “keeping up” with the world’s standards.

Now, after being a mom for 20 years, what do I want most? To seek God’s approval. To look at Him first. To lift my children up to Him in prayer. To encourage the unique gifts God has given my children, and to look into His eyes and hear, “Well done.”

When I focus on God, first as a mom, He will guide me on how to raise children who do love Him first, who serve others, and who will be smart and successful (according to God’s wisdom and idea of success).

And this is truly what I’ve wanted all along.

 

Take a deep breath. God loves you. - TriciaGoyer.com

 

Points to remember for Parenting Grace:

 
-Seek the approval of God first.
-Ask yourself, “What are my expectations? Are they realistic?”
-Remember what God has already provided through His grace.

 

Need to be reminded of this?

 

Parenting Grace - Free Printable - TriciaGoyer.com

 

Download the free “Parenting Grace” printable.

1. Print.
2. Cut out.
3. Laminate.
4. Post these truths and be reminded daily of God’s grace in your parenting.

 

Download the free “Parenting Grace” printable. @TriciaGoyer

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Prayer

Lord, help me to seek Your approval in my parenting, and to look to You first in my decision making. Remind me often to lift my children up to You in prayer, and to encourage the unique gifts You’ve given my children. And, at the end of my life, may I look into Your eyes and hear you say, “Well done.”

 
I would love to hear if any of these truths touched you today?  Comment below, I love connecting!

-Tricia

 

Recommended Resources for Parenting Grace:

 

Being ok with where you are: Parenting Grace

Being Okay with Where You Are by Stacy Thacker

You’re Going to Be Okay by Holley Gerth

God's Heart For You- Parenting Grace

God’s Heart for You by Holley Gerth 

Blue Like Playdo- Tricia Goyer Parenting Grace

In the everyday stretch and squeeze of motherhood, Tricia Goyer often feels smooshed by the demands of life. Sure, life is messy and beset by doubts. But God keeps showing up in the most unlikely places: in a bowl of carrot soup, the umpteenth reading of Goodnight Moon, a woe-is me teen drama, or play dough in the hands of a child. As her story unfolds, Tricia realizes that God has more in store for her than she has ever imagined possible.

In Tricia’s transparent account, you’ll find understanding, laughter, and strength for your own story. And in the daily push and pull, you’ll learn to recognizes the loving hands of God at work in your life and know He has something beautiful in mind.

Blue Like Play Dough by Tricia Goyer 

Arms of Deliverance - Tricia Goyer

(Christian fiction with themes of approval and worth in man and God’s eyes.)With equal doses of adrenaline and poignancy, Tricia Goyer’s storytelling brings well-crafted characters to life in a graphically authentic World War II setting. She places readers not only behind enemy lines into the heat of battle, but also deep into the innermost sanctuary of the human heart.

Arms of Deliverance by Tricia Goyer

 

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Four Ways to Pray For Your Kids

Four Ways to Pray for your Kids

Four Ways to Pray for Your Kids

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all I should be doing for my kids’ spiritual development. @TriciaGoyer

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Sometimes as a mom, I get overwhelmed with all I should be doing for my kids’ spiritual development. I should be reading the Bible with my kids, teaching them Scripture, training them on character qualities, helping them understand prayer. The list goes on and on.

Equally important are my prayers FOR my kids … but when I start considering all I should be praying for, this list is even longer than the first!

After praying about it (what a concept!), I came up with four foundational things to pray for my children daily. Yes, there will be additional things to add on, but this a great place to start. To make these things easier to remember, think of the song “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.”

1. Head.

Pray your children will always lift their heads to look to the Lord, and when they’re too hurt or discouraged, pray they’ll allow God to lift their heads.

“But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high.” Psalm 3:3*

2. Shoulders.

Pray your children will learn to let God carry their burdens.

“Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders—he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.” Psalm 55:33

3. Knees.

Pray your children will get on their knees before God often.

“Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.” James 4:7

4. Toes.

Pray your kids will be connected to a community of believers who will keep them on their toes.

“So watch your step, friends. Make sure there’s no evil unbelief lying around that will trip you up and throw you off course, diverting you from the living God. For as long as it’s still God’s Today, keep each other on your toes so sin doesn’t slow down your reflexes. If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we’re in this with Christ for the long haul. Hebrews 3:12

If you like this list, share it with a friend. Can you see all of us around the world praying for our children as we sing “Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes…”?

*All Scripture is taken from The Message

Click here to download and print this PDF to remind yourself how to pray for your children!

4waystoprayforyourchildren


Four foundational ways to pray for my children. @TriciaGoyer

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Now what about you? How do you pray for your kids?

 

I have a few books on sale right now! Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99. Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram.

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Mom, Are you Selfish?

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Mom, Are you Selfish?

I really don’t like to admit it, but as a mom I’ve known to be selfish at times. I’ve hidden cookies so I could have them later, and I’ve extended my kids’ nap time so I could read “one more chapter.” I’ve also gotten my family’s schedule off track because I wanted to be the “good” mom. The mom who volunteered at church, who made it to story time at the library, and who signed up my kids for all types of activities so I’d look as put-together as my neighbor.

When my kids became teenagers, fixing their schedules to pump up my ego didn’t work as well.

“Mom, I don’t want to be in the homeschool production.”

“You want me to babysit for your group . . . even though it’s my only free night? You’re joking, right?”

“Mom, I’m not going to start a non-profit organization in my spare time . . . even if it will help me get better college scholarships!”

Of course, sometimes I’m no better when dealing with my husband. He’s said “no” plenty of times when I’ve come to him about volunteering or adding on a new activity. “And, honey, just what are we going to cut out?” he often asks. (Good question!)

Whether it’s the last cookie or a pat on the back, my selfish nature likes to flare up like a sunburn after a day at the waterslides.

The best way to combat this—in big things and small—is to start my day thinking about others. (What a concept, I know!)

These are questions I often ask myself:

  • If I could do one thing to put a smile on my husband’s face, what would it be?
  • What have I been promising to do with my kids that I haven’t gotten around to?

Of course when I’m being selfish, usually my family isn’t the only one missing out. This self-focus spills over and often affects my extended family, friends, and even God. I don’t know about you, but there are times I know what I could do that could make God happy. But my stubborn heart doesn’t want to go there. Knowing that, here’s another question:

  • What could I say, what could I do, to offer myself to God more than I did yesterday?

And you know what the amazing is? God’s way works. I think selfishness makes me happy, but it never does. Likewise, even when I drag my feet to serve, I discover joy on the other side.

Proverbs 20:5 talks about this, “Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart, a wise person draws from the well within.” At the end of the day when I know what’s right . . . and I do it . . . I am refreshed.

Speaking of which, I have a husband who I bet would love a back rub and a son who needs some one-on-one time. And, I think I’ll lift up my heart and my voice in some praise songs as I shower today. I’m sure that’ll make God smile. And I’ll be smiling too.

Mom, are you selfish? @TriciaGoyer challenges you to ask yourself these questions:

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Steps You Can Take

  1. Ask yourself: “If I could do one thing to put a smile on my husband’s face, what would it be?”
  2. Ask yourself: “What have I been promising to do with my kids that I haven’t gotten around to?”
  3. Ask yourself: “What could I say, what could I do, to offer myself to God more than I did yesterday?”
  4. Begin implementing your answers!

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Help me to realize my worth as a mom does not come from my kids’ activities. Help me to seek my worth in you and you alone.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Resources You Might Like:

Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom
Mom Seeks God: Practicing Grace in the Chaos
Desperate: Hope for a Mom who Needs to Breathe

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Creating Kids in MY Own Image

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Creating Kids in MY Own Image

One thing that has always gotten me overbooked and overwhelmed was trying to create my children in “my own image.” No, I’m not talking about making mini-mes. I’m talking about the image in my mind. A mix of kid that looked like a Gap Kids model, played sports like baby Olympic athletes, and were as scholarly as miniature Albert Einsteins (without the frizzy hair).
Then God reminded me I didn’t need to envision who my kids should be. He’d already taken care of that. My kids weren’t empty vessels after all. God created him in unique ways.

Ephesians 2:10 talks about this, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (NIV).

Just as God created me to do good works (in my family, my home, my community, my world), He did the same for my kids. Boldness came when I studied my kids and figured out what made them tick.

Are your dreams for your child getting in the way of God’s plans for him or her? @TriciaGoyer

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While it wasn’t possible to look at my three-year-old son and know what he was going to be when he grew up, I discovered he liked listening to stories and building Lego creations. At age six I discovered t-ball was not his thing. In eight grade I discovered basketball was.

It was hard though, focusing on my child INSTEAD of focusing on the image in my head. From the first moment I saw Cory my mind was filled with big dreams for him. My Mommy sensibility involved laying aside my dreams and discovering God’s.

“When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child,” says actress Sophia Loren. The cool thing was God thought of my kids first.

Instead of creating kids in my own image, I need to remember that God created them in His. He knows His plans for them.

Plans for a good future.

It’s my job as a mom to remember that, to seek God, and to appreciate my kids for who they are . . . without letting my idea of who they should be get in the way.

Instead of creating kids in my image, I need to remember that God created them in His. @TriciaGoyer

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Steps You Can Take

  1. Nix the idea of the “perfect” kid.
  2. Appreciate who God made your child to be.
  3. Ask God to show you how to help your child develop his talents.
  4. Thank God for your child’s good future!

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, 

I thank you for my children. I thank you that you designed them with your good plans in mind. Help me to seek Your will for my children, instead of trying to make them match up to the unrealistic images in my mind. May you be glorified in and through my children!

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Resources You Might Like:

Moms’ Night Out by Tricia Goyer
Moms’ Night Out and Other Things I Miss: Devotions to Help You Survive by Kerri Pomarolli

I have a few books on sale right now! Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.

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What It Means to Start Again in this Man-Making Business

Hold Baby's Feet As Love Heart Shape

What It Means to Start Again in this Man-Making Business

“You’re starting again?”

I get the same response every time I explain the ages of my six kids: 24, 21, 19, . . . 6, 4, and 3.

“You could be empty nesters, traveling the world, and driving a convertible.”

“Yes,” I nod. “Yes, I could.”

There is nothing wrong with empty nests. Some day I might have one. There is nothing wrong with convertibles. Some day I might rent one! But even more wonderful than peace, and quiet, and time is knowing that our lives have completely impacted the lives of three children. James 1:27 urges us to care for the widows and the orphans. I think God meant it when he said that.

I do a lot with my time. I mentor teenage moms. I serve my church family. I have a radio program. I write blogs. I write books. But I’m most proud of the children I’ve raised to adulthood—children who love God, who give to others, and who are making their own impact on the world. They were my hardest task but are now my greatest joy.

Find out why starting again with younger kids is @TriciaGoyer’s greatest joy:

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Recently I was reading a devotional book from 1938 titled Leaves of Gold, and I came across this poem:

“Man-Making”

We all are blind until we see
That in the human plan
Nothing is worth the making if
It does not make the man.

Why build these cities glorious
If man unbuilded goes?
In vain we build the world, unless
The builder also grows.
–Edwin Markham

My greatest calling in life is working with God and with my husband to “make” these people. To grow them, and serve them, and pour God into their lives just as cement and steel are poured to make a building’s foundation.

Read the rest of this post on For the Family!

I have a few books on sale right now! The Swiss Courier and Chasing Mona Lisa are only $1.99! The Promise Box is only $3.99! And Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.

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How to Be a Good Parent | 25 Tips

 Busy Mother Chatting with Her Daughter

How to Be a Good Parent | 25 Tips

So many times as a parent we focus on all the things we don’t get right . . . or things we think we could do better. I’ve learned over the years that while I always improve, I also need to celebrate what I do right.

One thing I feel I do right is I’ve shown my kids that life with God is an adventure. Instead of saying, “I can’t do that” I’ve modeled, “With God this is possible!”

Here are what other parents say:

Maddy: My husband and I play with our six-month-old. TV is off and she is captivated by our faces and voices. The best!
Rebecca: My kids are all around the same age, and they all talk at once. I love when I look at one child in the eyes and truly listen.

Becky M: I read evening prayers from Liturgy of the Hours to my kids. My three-year-old Katherine does the alleluias.

Becky P: I don’t over-schedule so we can keep our evenings and weekends focused on family time.

Bart: I love their mother.

Tabitha: I spend time with my kids. Being read to is something my seven-year-old still enjoys.

Mari: I fought to give my son a kidney. I failed, but that was the biggest thing I’ve ever done.

Joleen: I fix healthy meals for them! I feel like it helps them succeed in everything else.

Michelle: Besides x’s and o’s, I spend time discussing, thinking, and praying about each of my kids’ unique personalities and needs.

Peggy: I take them places I don’t want to go, like skating and the park.

Lynn: I refuse to be shocked by anything my kids (twenty-two, twenty-one, and eighteen) are willing to talk to me about.

How are you a good #parent to your kids? Share with @TriciaGoyer:

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Melanie: I tell my kids every day how much I love them and kiss them good night before bedtime!

Micelle: I correct my children and hold them accountable for their choices and actions. My children know they are loved, but it is when I parent them and guide them in the right direction that I feel like I am being a good parent.

Rosa: I read to my children every night at bedtime. My parents never read to me, and I fall asleep if I tried to read anything bigger than a magazine. But my children love reading, and I believe it is because I read to them nightly.

Lori: I feel like a good parent because of the rapport I have with my three children. They know they can tell me anything, and I will tell them my honest opinion or what I feel is in their best interest, and I will love them regardless of their choices.

Shari: I hold the gospel out to my children on a daily basis and let them see what Christ has done for me and is doing in me. That means being quick to repent and trying to show them grace and compassion, not anger and criticism (which is not easy for me!).

Deborah: I stay in daily contact with my children who are twenty-four and twenty-one years old. They call and text me and they have busy lives, so sometimes it’s just a simple text message I send to encourage them and maintain a positive influence in their lives.

Jessica: I try to cook for my kids every day using limited processed/prepackaged food—most is fresh and from scratch.

James: I intentionally spend one-on-on time with each child. Saturday morning breakfast works great!

Holly: I remind my two daughters that they are “blessings” to their daddy and me. I also remind myself and my husband we are their parents first, and not always a friend!

Rachel: I apologize to my kids when I have treated them wrong. I let them know I am not perfect and I, too, am still learning.

25 ways to be a good #parent (from @TriciaGoyer and friends):

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Billie: I laugh at their antics . . . especially in situations when one could get really irritated instead.

Mel: I’m available; keep in touch; show and tell my love for them; accept them unconditionally; give them the wisdom of my experience only when asked.

Pam: I always take the time to tuck them in.

Silvia: I tell my kids every day how much I love them and I really mean it.

What about you? What have you been good at?

Today’s Prayer

God, thank you for my children and the opportunity to raise them in a godly way. Please give me strength as I continue to parent my kids, and help me to show them unconditional love and grace.

Resources

Blue like Play Dough
Generation NeXt Parenting
Life Interrupted

Did you hear the good news? My new book Balanced is available now via Amazon and Barnes & Noble for only $2.99 (digital only)!

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25 Ways to be a Good Parent

Brother And Sister Relaxing Together In Bed

So many times as a parent we focus on all the things we don’t get right . . . or things we think we could do better. I’ve learned throughout the years that while I always improve, I also need to celebrate what I do right.

One thing I feel I do right is I’ve shown my kids that life with God is an adventure. Instead of saying, “I can’t do that,” I’ve modeled, “With God this is possible!”

Here are what other parents say they’ve been good at:

Maddy: My husband and I play with our six-month-old. TV is off, and she is captivated by our faces and voices. The best!

Rebecca: My kids are all around the same age, and they all talk at once. I love when I look at one child in the eyes and truly listen.

Becky M: I read evening prayers from Liturgy of the Hours to my kids. My three-year-old Katherine does the alleluias.

Becky P: I don’t over-schedule so we can keep our evenings and weekends focused on family time.

Bart: I love their mother.

How are you a good parent? Share with @TriciaGoyer:

Click To Tweet

Tabitha: I spend time with my kids. Being read to is something my seven-year-old still enjoys.

Mari: I fought to give my son a kidney. I failed, but that was the biggest thing I’ve ever done.

Joleen: I fix healthy meals for them!!! I feel like it helps them succeed in everything else.

Michelle: Besides x’s and o’s, I spend time discussing, thinking, and praying about each of my kids’ unique personalities and needs.

Peggy: I take them places I don’t want to go, like skating and the park.

Lynn: I refuse to be shocked by anything my kids (22, 21,18) are willing to talk to me about.

Melanie: I tell my kids every day how much I love them and kiss them good night before bedtime!

Micelle: I correct my children and hold them accountable for their choices and actions. My children know they are loved, but it is when I parent them and guide them in the right direction that I feel like I am being a good parent.

Rosa: I read to my children every night at bedtime. My parents never read to me, and I fall asleep if I try to read anything bigger than a magazine. But my children love reading, and I believe it is because I read to them nightly.

Lori: I feel like a good parent because of the rapport I have with my three children. They know they can tell me anything and I will tell them my honest opinion or what I feel that is in their best interest, and that I will love them regardless of their choices.

Shari: I hold the gospel out to my children on a daily basis and let them see what Christ has done for me and is doing in me. That means being quick to repent to them and trying to show them grace and compassion, not anger and criticism (which is not easy for me!).

Deborah: I stay in daily contact with my children who are twenty-four and twenty-one years old. They call and text me and they have busy lives, so sometimes it’s just a simple text message I send to encourage them and maintain a positive influence in their lives.

Being a parent is tough! 25 parents share their best tips with @TriciaGoyer:

Click To Tweet

Jessica: I try to cook for my kids every day using limited processed/prepackaged food—most is fresh and from scratch.

James: I intentionally spend one-on-one time with each child. Saturday morning breakfast works great!

Holly: I remind my two daughters they are “blessings” to their daddy and me. I also remind myself and my husband that we are their parents first, and not always a friend!

Rachel: I apologize to my kids when I have treated them wrong. I let them know I am not perfect and I, too, am still learning.

Billie: I laugh at their antics . . . especially in situations when one could get really irritated instead.

Mel: I’m available, keep in touch, show and tell my love for them, accept them unconditionally, and give them the wisdom of my experience only when asked.

Pam: I always take the time to tuck them in.

Silvia: I tell my kids every day how much I love them and I really mean it.

What about you? What have you been good at?

 

Are you new here? You might want to subscribe to my email updates, or follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google+, or Instagram. 

 

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