patience

June 14, 2016 by Tricia Goyer 5 Comments

How to Wait on the Lord

Are you currently waiting on the Lord? Maybe you’re waiting for a job, a spouse, or a wayward child to return home. Maybe you’re waiting for wisdom for next steps or how to handle a hard situation. Waiting is hard because there is so little we have to wait on these days. We can microwave a meal in three minutes. We can journey across the globe in one day. We can google the answer to any question in three seconds. We can send a text in one second without waiting for the mail to arrive.

And in our fast-paced, instant-access society, when we suddenly don’t have what we want most, and we have to wait, we feel helpless, weak and powerless. Sometimes we even question God like David did in Psalm 13:1, “How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”

We wonder if God hears. We question in God cares. We doubt.

Have you ever doubted God? I have. Years ago I felt God’s call to to adoption. I waited and prayed for seven years (without nagging!) for God to put the same call on John’s heart too. Then I waited two years as we did paperwork. And I waited another year after the paperwork was finished for a child. And the call never came. Instead, I was confronted with doors closing on the international path we’d chosen.

After ten years of waiting my heart was broken. Why, God? Why?

And in my brokenness I turned to God. Even in tears I told Him that I trusted Him. Verses like these resonate in my heart:

I wait for the LORD, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. Psalm 130:5-6

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. Psalm 27:14

And in my waiting and seeking I realized I wasn’t alone. The Bible is filled with those who wait. One of my favorite waiting stories is about a man who waited his whole life for a glimpse of the promised Messiah.

Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Luke 2:25-26

As he took the child, Jesus, in his arms Simeon proclaimed it was worth the wait.

“Sovereign Lord, now let your servant die in peace, as you have promised. I have seen your salvation, which you have prepared for all people. He is a light to reveal God to the nations, and he is the glory of your people Israel!” Luke 2:29-32

In Simeon’s waiting He saw the Lord. And in our waiting we also discover Him too. Every minute that Simeon waited made the joy of receiving even more precious.

Why does God ask us to wait? Waiting prepares your heart. Even when your mind feels ready for a task, your heart might not be there yet. Waiting allows God time to feel the gap between your head and your heart.

What to do while you wait:

1. Be thankful for who God is and what He’s done.

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love (Psalm 103:8). Thank Him, knowing the waiting comes from His compassion, grace and love. Treasure Him for all who He is. Know that if you never receive what you’re waiting for God is enough.

2. Walk in obedience in what God has already called you to.

Living a righteous life happens one day at a time. Instead of trying to hurry God up, walk faithfully where He has you now.

3. Be honest in your struggle.

As I waited for adoption doors to open I shared my struggle. I asked friends to pray for my family. I shared how I didn’t understand why we were having to wait for doors to open to adopt a child when it’s clearly God’s mandate in Scripture. The amazing thing is that a praying friend was the connection with our daughter’s birth mom. In my willingness to share my struggle (not with complaining but with humility) God opened the doors.

4. Seek God for strength.

Waiting is never easy, but when we are at the end of ourselves it’s then we turn to—and depend on—God’s strength. “Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary,” Isaiah 40:31 NASV

5. Realize that the waiting is part of God’s ultimate YES!

Romans 11:34-36 says, “Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.” (MSG). Even though the waiting was hard the final yes was much more beautiful than I ever imagined.

For me, Jesus’ ultimate YES wasn’t one child adopted but SEVEN. Yes, seven. When God opened the doors He opened a floodgate, and we adopted seven children in five years.

Looking back I’m so thankful for the time of waiting. I’m thankful that I allowed God to prepare my heart and my life. God’s YES was bigger than I ever hoped or dreamed.

Here’s a prayer for you:

Oh Lord, I know You’re a good God, but the truth is that I’m tried of waiting. I know You have the perfect answer. I trust You have the perfect solution, but waiting for the moment you decreed is tough.

Please be with me as I wait. Let me see You as I never have before. Help me to trust You and see You in new ways. Prepare my heart, Lord, as I wait, and finally thank You for Your ultimate yes.

In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Friend, today I’m also praying for you. I’m praying that God’s current NO will allow time, space and preparation for His ultimate YES. To God be the glory!

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October 20, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

Thankful Listening | The Importance of Listening in Marriage

Thankful Listening

The Importance of Listening in Marriage

My husband John is a self-proclaimed computer geek. Do you know what that means? Lots of talk about CPUs, ram, network access, accessibility, blah, blah, blah. For years listening to the computer mumbo-jumbo drove me crazy.

#1—I didn’t know what he was saying.

#2—I didn’t care. (I mean, I was still trying to figure out what to make for dinner while he was talking about reconfiguring hard drives … or something like that!)

I would try to be patient when John talked through a computer issue at work, but I’m sure my face displayed the (bored and overwhelmed) truth.

Then a couple of years ago I started to think differently. I realized:

1. John processed problems by talking them out. It truly was a blessing that he turned to me!

2. When I gave John space to talk it helped him decompress. Once he got the words out, they were off his mind and he could spend the rest of the time focusing on our family . . . and me.

3. When I listened to John talk about computer stuff, it became easier for him to talk to me about everything else. As I became a good listener in all areas, he more freely opened his heart concerning the deeper stuff of life. And I’m not the only one who benefited.

The more I started listening (really listening), the more connected my husband felt toward me and the more he opened up to our family.

After being married for nearly 25 years, I still don’t understand the CPU/IBS/ABCDEFG talk, but it doesn’t really matter. I’m thankful that I can meet my husband’s needs.

Recently, I’ve tried to not only been a patient listener, but I’ve also worked to be a thankful listener. God has blessed me with a smart, capable, and hard working husband who trusts me and wants to spend time sharing what matters to him. I’m thankful that we have each other to turn to and talk to. I’m thankful that we don’t have to completely understand each other’s worlds, but we are still available to listen and care.

Steps You Can Take

Give your husband the room to vent and share about his day.
Ask how you can be praying for your husband.
Make it a point to tell your husband know how much you appreciate him.
Take time to pray for each other.

Are you a good listener? Being a thankful listener is important in marriage @TriciaGoyer

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Prayer

God, thank you for my husband. Thank you that I can be a sounding board for him in numerous ways. Thank you for this man, and help me to be a thankful listener. Help us to draw closer together as we meet each others’ needs in numerous ways.

More Resources:

Generation NeXt Marriage: The Couple’s Guide to Keeping It Together by Tricia Goyer

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman

How to Get Your Husband to Listen to You: Understanding How Men Communicate by Nancy Cobb & Connie Grigsby

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June 11, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 6 Comments

A Lesson on Time

In my life, I don’t have any real enemies, but if there is one intangible thing that I always seem to be fighting against, it’s TIME. It robs me when I need him most. It turns little cares into big concerns when it hurries on and I still have no answer. Every tick-tick it takes me one step closer to “never getting all this done.”

I remember a time in my life when TIME was particularly frustrating. TIME ticked away on a house that we really needed to sell. TIME meant money, as we paid a house payment for an empty house. It meant being unsettled, because over half of our stuff was in storage as we rented in our new location.

Of course, even though I’d like to place a dark cape and a mask on TIME, that’s not where the problem is. TIME … and the ticking down of it … isn’t something I need to fight against. Instead, as God’s been revealing to me lately, TIME is a tool in His hand that is used to reveal what is really in my heart. Mostly, misplaced security.

Time is a tool in His hand that is used to reveal what is really in my heart @TriciaGoyer

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I remember being frustrated because our house hadn’t sold in the TIME I wanted it to, and God showed me my lack of trust in Him … and my dependance on things of this world. He showed me that I look to home ownership as success and security. He pointed out my false heart-belief that when we bought a new home in our new location, only then we’d “arrived.”

God opened my eyes to this by leading me to Psalm 30:15. “My times are in your hands,” David said. God is in control of TIME. Of all the events that seem to take way too long. I needed to hear that.

Some lessons can only be learned over time … and discovering the truth what is in my heart is one of them. If our house had sold right away, and we’d moved into a nice place in our new city, I never would have realized how much trust I’m placing in things more than God.

God has also reminded me lately that He lives outside of TIME. What seems to take forever I my eyes is just a blink of an eye to Him. TIME may feels like it’s throwing me punches, but instead it’s a tool that God’s using to mold and shape me.

So even though the clock is still ticking, I’m realizing more and more that God can be trusted all TIMES. He’s my security. And TIME isn’t an enemy when its in God’s hands. TIME is a tool.

Lord, mold me through the tick, tick, tock.

Time is not the enemy. God uses it to mold and shape us! @TriciaGoyer

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Steps You Can Take

When you catch yourself getting inpatient, ask yourself “Why?”
Pinpoint what is at the root of your frustration with time. Is it money, the unknown, insecurity, lack of faith?
Surrender your requests to God, knowing he is in control of time.
Wait patiently for God’s time, remembering to look for what God is teaching you.

Daily Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

I like to be in control and know what is going to happen next. Help me release that control to you and trust your perfect timing. May I catch myself in those moments when I start whining and complaining when it comes to waiting. Instead, help me take a deeper look at what you are teaching me. Continue to mold me and shape me into the person you made me to be … no matter how long that takes!

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources You Might Like:

God Had a Plan for Your Life: The Discovery that Makes All the Difference by Charles F. Stanley
Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn’t Show Up the Way You Thought He Would? by Pete Wilson

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