How to Keep & Deepen Your Relationship With Your Teen Son
My 6-foot-tall son lumbers into the room and sinks onto the sofa.
“So, I’ve been thinking about Chapter Two…” he says.
I pause what I’m doing and we talk. We talk about fictional conflict, inciting incidents, and motivation—what the character wants more than anything. Nathan has just finished writing a novel and lately we’ve been chatting about that.
I have six children and my relationship with each of them is different.
They all enjoy different things, and for a while I wondered how I could best relate to my sons as teens. Yes, I cheered at their basketball games. I often found myself out to lunch with them one-on-one, or at sci-fi movies, but I wanted something more–something that could just be “ours.”
It turns out that Nathan, my third oldest, and I both enjoy writing and plotting. We relish figuring out what makes a story good…then what makes it great. After nearly every movie we watch, we talk about what worked and what didn’t. As a homeschooler this started with chapter books that I read to him during school time.
Nathan also attended homeschool writing classes that I taught. We’d chat about all the elements of fiction writing on the way home. It wasn’t a forced conversation. I didn’t read a book and try to follow it. Instead, I just opened myself up to my son. We have talked about our shared interest and I’ve watched our relationship grow. Soon talking about plots and writing became “our thing.”
Thank you for my son. I look forward to spending time and sharing our lives together as a family. Give me inspiring ways to connect and deepen my relationship with him.
I’m a mom of three boys and three girls. It’s easy to show my girls that I love them. I sit and ask them questions. I listen to them talk, and talk, and talk. I buy them pink nail polish with sparkles. I “get” girls.
It was harder to figure out my boys. When I asked them questions about their day, I could feel their frustration. Once, when I was asking my young adult son about his first day of college, my husband turned to me and said, “Why are you grilling him?”
What? I was just trying to show I was interested. My daughter would have loved to share every detail!
If you’re a mom of older sons it can sometimes be hard to show your love. Here are 15 ideas to do just that!
15 Ways to Show Your Teen Son Your Love
- Go on a long drive and just sit side-by-side. Don’t ask any questions; just enjoy the view and wait for him to talk. (It will feel awkward, but I guarantee your son will love the side-by-side time.)
- Ask your son about his most recent video game . . . and then just listen.
- Make your son’s favorite dinner and let him know you were thinking of him.
- Tell your son how proud you are of a good character trait you see in him.
- Visit him at his work. Don’t make it a big deal, but just smile and wave.
- Invite him to lunch, your treat, at his favorite restaurant.
- When you’re at the grocery store, text your son and ask if there’s anything he needs.
- Offer to play his favorite board game with him . . . even if you know there’s no chance of you winning, even if you try.
- Do his laundry without making a big deal about it.
- Stop what you’re doing and really listen the next time he wants to tell you something.
- Let your son overhear you talking to someone else and praising one of his accomplishments.
- Make snacks for your son and his friends when they’re hanging out at your house.
- Buy a book he’s interested in and leave it on his bed with a note.
- Show up next time he invites you to do something with him.
- Take his problems seriously even when they don’t seem like a big deal to you.
These seem like simple things but you know you’re making a difference when you see your son’s SMILE!
Now, how about you? What are ways you show your teen son that you love him?
I have a few books on sale right now! The Swiss Courier and Chasing Mona Lisa are only $1.99! The Promise Box is only $3.99! And Generation NeXt Marriage is $2.99. You can also get my four World War II novels in the Liberators Series for $13.99.