Teen Mom

March 9, 2015 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Broken Things Made Beautiful by God

My books all have a common thread: broken things made beautiful by God. Today I want to share more about why I wrote Teen Mom.

I remember when my first novel From Dust and Ashes: A Story of Liberation came out in 2003. I was so excited to share it with my friends who’d believed in my writing dreams. But out of all the people who read the novel, there was one person’s comments that stand out the most.

My friend Kathy had worked with me to start Hope Pregnancy Center in Kalispell, Montana. She’s also been in the Bible Study with me for women who’d had abortions.

Kathy had heard about all my broken places. She’d seen my tears. She’d also seen my freedom as I opened myself up to God’s complete forgiveness and learned to forgive myself.

“You’ve written an amazing novel,” Kathy told me. “I couldn’t put it down. It’s your story in novel form.”

“My story?” I asked. “I don’t know what you mean. It’s a story about a Nazi officer’s wife in World War II who helps care for Holocaust survivors after liberation.”

Kathy offered me a knowing smile. “Look at Helene. She is you … it’s your story set in World War II.”

After Kathy said that my mind went through Helene’s story again:

1. Pregnant and abandoned.

2. Ashamed of her past actions.

3. Seeking to redeem herself by helping others.

4. Finding true liberation in Jesus Christ instead.

It WAS my story! How had I missed that as I was writing my novel?

For so many years I wanted to hide my story. I didn’t want people to know about my teen pregnancy and definitely not about my abortion. Yet over the years, God has confirmed in me that my story isn’t about my mistakes. It’s about Christ’s liberation, redemption, and freedom. It’s about sharing about broken things made beautiful by God.

If I’m unwilling to share my story, then I’m also missing out on sharing His.

If I’m unwilling to share my story, I’m missing out on sharing His. @TriciaGoyer

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The theme of broken things made beautiful by God (broken people finding freedom in Christ) is one that shows up in all of my novels in various ways. It also shows up in my non-fiction fiction books.

I also wrote Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think. It’s a book FOR teenage mothers. I not only told my story, but I also shared advice for their everyday life as a mom. Most importantly, I shared how a relationship with Jesus Christ gives them strength and hope for their futures. Teen mom’s lives can be broken things made beautiful.

As you can imagine, this book is important to me. As a mentor to teenage moms for the last twelve years through our weekly support group, I know every young mom needs advice and encouragement.

It’s so important to me, that I’m going to ask you to do something special: Buy a copy of the book.

Buy Teen Mom for a young mom you know.

Buy it for your local crisis pregnancy center.

Buy it for your church’s youth pastor.

Buy it for someone you know who teaches in the local high school.

I guarantee each of those people have a young woman they know who they can give it to.

I’ll also be bold and ask you to buy a copy for yourself and keep it in your car.

AND THEN I ask you to pray and ask God to bring someone in your life who you can give it to. Ask him for there to be broken things made beautiful displayed directly to you as you seek out a young woman to serve and love.

Young moms need to know that God has a good story written for their lives. They need to hear about broken things made beautiful by God’s grace. When I was seventeen years old and pregnant I needed to hear that.

You never know how God will use you to bring help, hope, and spiritual liberation to a young woman’s soul.

~Tricia

About Teen Mom

Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think. Everything changes the day you discover you’re going to be a mom. It’s not just yourself that you think about—you have a child to care for, too. While you wouldn’t trade your child for the world, some days are just hard. Baby-daddy drama, dealing with your parents, and worries about school, work, and your future slam you. Your friends can’t relate to your little family, and you wonder if God has turned His back on you, too.

Tricia Goyer understands. A mom at age 17, Tricia remembers what it felt like to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. She’s also been the coordinator of a teen mom support group for over twelve years, and she’s cheered on many young moms—from all walks of life—through their journey.

In Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think, Tricia pours out her heart and shares advice for the hard things you face. She also longs to provide encouragement, reminding you that you can be the mom your child deserves—not in your own strength, but in the strength God provides.

Buy the Book HERE.

March 4, 2015 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Word Identity | Your Words Matter!

Let’s talk about the things every child needs to here…it’s important that you know your words matter!

Many of you already know about my book Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think. But the truth is that the advice that I give to teen moms is good for all moms … including myself! As I share these messages, I realize they are the same ones that I need to hear. Such as this message about how our words build our child’s identity.

How did your mother help mold your identity, both for the positive and for the negative? Through words.

Think about it. Now, how can you, as a mother, help your child mold his or her identity?

My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general; if you become a monk, you’ll end up as the Pope.” Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.
— Pablo Picasso, artist

Things Every Child Needs to Hear

I love you.
I’m so glad you came into my life. You have made it better.
There is no one just like you. You are special.
I adore your smile.
You fill up a special place in my heart.
My arms are always open to you.
You are smart.
You’re extremely huggable.
I’ll always protect you.
Don’t be afraid. I am here.
You are my greatest treasure.
If all the children in the world lined up, I would still choose you.
Well done!

Download your free Printable PDFs here.

Things Every Young Mom Needs to Tell Herself

I am a lovely person.
I am unique and special.
I’m doing my best to be a good mom.
It’s okay for me to dream.
All moms need a break.
I don’t need to feel guilty when I take time for myself.
My good example will make all the difference in the world and to my child.
I become wise when I seek counsel from wise people.
It’s good to hope for a better future for my child and myself.
Truth is always the best choice.
Life looks brighter when I focus on what’s really important.
My habits will become my child’s habits, so I better choose good ones.
What I have in the end will never mean as much as who I am.
There is no greater feeling than when my heart is at peace.
I don’t need to worry about the future. I just need strength for this moment.
Well done!

Excerpt from Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think.

Words matter. @TriciaGoyer shares words every mom & child need to hear #teenmom

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Your words change everything, your words that you speak to yourself and to your child matter!

~Tricia

About Teen Mom

Everything changes the day you discover you’re going to be a mom. It’s not just yourself that you think about—you have a child to care for, too. While you wouldn’t trade your child for the world, some days are just hard. Baby-daddy drama, dealing with your parents, and worries about school, work, and your future slam you. Your friends can’t relate to your little family, and you wonder if God has turned His back on you, too.

In Teen Mom: You’re Stronger Than You Think, Tricia pours out her heart and shares advice for the hard things you face. She also longs to provide encouragement, reminding you that you can be the mom your child deserves—not in your own strength, but in the strength God provides.

Share Teen Mom With Someone Today!

My book is relevant for every season of life. Do you know someone you could share Teen Mom with?

In publishing, there are topics that are “evergreen.” That means they can be picked up at any time and still be relevant. For me, that includes teen moms and teen pregnancy. It’s been over a decade since the release of Life Interrupted, and then I re-released the book as Teen Mom: You’re Stronger than You Think.

Do you know someone who needs to know about this book? Do you know someone you can share Teen Mom with?

Ultimately I’d like this book to reach church leaders, pregnancy crisis centers, counselors, support groups, and anyone involved in the lives of teen moms. I know that this evergreen book has the power to change lives for the better, and I thank you for your willingness to help share teen mom with others!

About Teen Mom

In Teen Mom, Tricia pours out her heart and shares advice for the hard things you face. She also longs to provide encouragement, reminding you that you can be the mom your child deserves—not in your own strength, but in the strength God provides.

Share #TeenMom with someone in need today! @TriciaGoyer!

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February 11, 2015 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

Somebody Needs to Hear…

Last night I sat in a small support group of teenage mothers, and one brave young woman, Liz, walked to the front of the room.

“Guys, I usually sit there among you, but I asked Miss Tricia if I could share. You see, I’ve started this journey with Jesus, and I have to share all the amazing things God has done for me.”

Less than four months ago Liz showed up at our group with a dump truck of sin weighing down her heart. She was so ashamed of her recent mistakes that she’d missed many meetings. Yet a glimmer of hope stirred inside. Go to them, and ask for prayer; maybe they’ll still love you.

The first night back, Liz took me aside, and we found a quiet room. She poured out her heart, and I cried along with her. Then she prayed and accepted Christ in her heart.

As I led her in that prayer I could feel the weights lifting: pain, shame, disgrace . . . they were boulders being hurled from her back. We stood and embraced, and the light on her face reflected the transformation in her heart. She prayed and asked God to take over, and He did. Man, how He did!

“You’ll never believe all God’s done for me. He’s provided people to care for me, to mentor me, and He’s taken care of all my needs and the needs of my two kids.” Liz walked away from unhealthy relationships and discovered a community of Christians to care. She’s a different mom, a different student, a different friend.

“If you want to join me on my journey, call me whenever you want or text me. Come over and we’ll read the Bible together. There’s so much He has for you.”

And as I sat and listened with tears in my eyes, I realized that every moment I’ve spent volunteering in these teen mom support groups was worth it. It was worth it because Liz is worth it . . . and so is every other young mom who needs to hear the truth of Jesus’ love.

I’ve been honored to watch these stories of transformation unfold, but that’s only happened because deep down I knew there was someone out there who needed to hear. There is someone in your community who needs to hear, too. Someone who feels alone. Someone who feels unworthy. Someone who feels ashamed.

Somebody needs to hear . . . they are worth your time.

Somebody needs to hear . . . that God’s grace is for them.

Somebody needs to hear . . . that their darkest sins are not too dark for God’s light.

Somebody needs to hear . . . there is hope.

Somebody needs to hear . . . peace can come.

Somebody needs to hear . . . about a second chance through Jesus.

Somebody needs to hear there is hope, a second chance. @TriciaGoyer #teenmom

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But before they can hear all those things, they must hear something from you first. Things like:

Do you want to meet for coffee?
How can I help you?

What do you need most right now?
What’s your story?

Do you want to hear how I’ve messed up?
Do you want to hear what God did?

People need to hear about Jesus, and it’s hard to take the time, energy, and even money to make that a priority.

As I leave home and drive to our Thursday night meetings, I’m lucky if I’ve slapped together peanut butter and jelly for my husband and kids. I’ve stepped out of movies to take desperate phone calls. I’ve bought food, diapers, and door prizes to draw in the young women who need help, and I’ve asked myself, “Will they ever understand?” when it seems like they won’t.

But I continue because I know that someone needs to hear . . . and if I don’t tell them who will?

I also remember being the one who needed to hear about Jesus’ love and forgiveness when I was a soon-to-be mom at age 17. Somebody talked to me, and it cost them, too. Was it worth the cost? Was I worth the cost? I feel it was. I feel I am.

“Take up your cross and follow me,” Jesus said, and in 2015 that looks a little different than what it did in Jesus’ day. It might mean asking a friend to drive your child to t-ball practice, or walking away from that pile of dishes, or spending hard-earned cash to hire a babysitter for two hours so you can take someone out to just talk.

Sacrifice is sacrifice, big or small. But transformation is TRANSFORMATION in the lives Jesus touches through you. Without us stepping out and doing our part, who’s going to tell them? Who’s going to tell her?

And without being told how, will they know Who to follow?

And if they don’t know Who do follow, where will they wander? Into sin, pain, darkness, shame and regret. It’s easier to shake our head at their choices than to reach out an be a friend. Because it costs us something, doesn’t it?

Will you do it? Will you speak? Will you give? Will you love?

Do you know a Teen Mom? You can pre-order my new book, Teen Mom: You are Stronger Than You Think.

(Buy a young mom or soon-to-be young mom a copy, and invite her to coffee to give it to her!)

Read the original post at forthefamily.com.

About Teen Mom

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Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

December 29, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 4 Comments

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Parents

We all know Single Parents. Whether they are part of our family, church, or city, here are 17 ways you can reach out to single parents.

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Parents

A little over forty years ago, a single, young woman was about to give birth. She didn’t know how to afford a child without her parents’ help. She hadn’t talked to her former boyfriend in months. She couldn’t reach him, didn’t know how to tell him she was having his child.

This young woman attended church some, yet her dialogue with God was stilted. How could God let this happen to her? What would her life be like now?

A baby girl was born, and upon holding her child this young lady knew things would be OK. Perhaps this baby was a gift, not a burden as she supposed.

This woman raised her daughter the best she could, and while she wanted to give her child more than she had . . . history has a way of repeating itself. When the daughter became a young woman, she found herself in the same situation — living at home, pregnant, and scared.

The daughter knew she could raise this child. After all, her mom had done it. But what would her life be like? How could God let this happen to her?

If you haven’t guessed already, I was the daughter born to a single mom, and as a teenager became a single mom myself. At age 17, God gave me a son. My boyfriend was out of the picture, and I faced raising a child alone with little education, no money, and, maybe according to the world, little hope for my future. I know what it’s like to be a young, single mom, and what made a huge difference in my life. Here are some ways you can reach out to a single parent:

1. Free childcare.

A Moms’ Day out is greatly needed! You should know that these moms, especially teen moms, may have a hard time leaving their children. Outline for them as clear as possible who will be watching their kids, what type of childcare experience they have, and what activities will be done. Many young moms have been hurt in the past in numerous ways and they are very sensitive when it comes to their kids.

2. Guy Events.

Many children of single parents don’t have positive male role models in their lives. Activities for guys to do with kids–fishing, an obstacle course, Lego building, etc. would be a huge blessing for these moms. They understand this need in their kids and feel bad because of it.

3. Car clinics.

Many single moms don’t have someone to help with maintenance stuff like checking the oil, checking the tires, checking the windshield wipers, etc. And cleaning out/detailing the car would be a huge blessing, too.

4. Expert advice.

Do you have experts who could help them with advice?

Legal (custody stuff)
Resume building or job training
Parenting tips or help
Cooking simple meals
Reading the Bible

Pass out a questionnaire ahead of time and find out their needs.

5. Necessity kits.

Many moms struggle with money. Kits you can put together.

First aid kits
Cleaning kids
Spice cabinet basics
Toiletry kits
Home “office” kit: calendar, stamps, pens, tape, stapler, etc.
Kitchen towels and potholders

6. Christian books and resources.

Again these are “splurge” items they’re not able to buy for themselves.

7. Craft time!

Single moms often don’t have time to sit down and have fun. Create a craft event where they can sit, make something cool, and chat with others.

8. Gift cards

Give them a gift card for dinner out at someplace other than McDonald’s.

9. Gas cards.

They often get stuck at home because they don’t have enough money for gas.

10. Christian music.

They often don’t know it exists, but find it uplifting.

11. Toys-R-Us or Walmart gift cards.

So they can buy something nice for their child’s birthday or a holiday.

12. Home improvement projects.

Mowing the yard of a single mom, or putting together a set of bunk beds is a huge help.

13. Offer a mini-vacation.

This takes more work, but moms often don’t get a chance to get away. Does someone you know work at a hotel chain where you can get a discount on a hotel room? Or does someone have a vacation home or timeshare nearby?

14. Invite her to your house for dinner.

She’ll be happy and shocked!

15. Free haircut, manicure, or massage.

… from a professional! Being pampered is something they usually don’t have the time or money for.

16. Kids haircuts.

This is a huge help to her, too!

17. Birthday cakes.

Do you have someone who can bake a birthday cake for her birthday or her child’s?

Download the FREE printable of how you can reach out to single parents today!

How can you reach out to a single parent today? Find out from @TriciaGoyer

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You might also be encouraged by the book Walk it Out:

Walk It Out: The Radical Result of Living God’s Word One Step at a Time

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them.

Whether believers realize it or not, God intended for them to do what the Bible says: adopt the orphan, take the gospel into all the world, and care for the needy. These are mandates that point believers down the path of true living and eternal life.

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Check out the book Walk it Out by Tricia Goyer

October 16, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 3 Comments

How to Be the Perfect Mom: Stop Trying to Be Perfect

How to Be the Perfect Mom…

Stop Trying to Be Perfect!

I was a very young mom when I had my first child, just seventeen. Teen pregnancy was something whispered about in 1989, but I noticed the stares. Because of those stares I wanted to make sure I did everything right. I wanted to have the perfect kids so that people would see that a young mom could succeed.

If I could go back and do things differently, I would relax more. I wanted my son to be the smartest at preschool. In T-ball I wanted him to be the best player. He was pretty smart and could beat me at Memory by age three, but as for sports . . . well, he was more interested in staring at the clouds than catching a ball.

I wanted to be seen as the perfect mom, too. I kept my house spotless.

I started writing and publishing and tried to become a success. By this time I lived 2,000 miles from those who knew me as a teen mom, but that didn’t stop me from striving. I didn’t go to enough nature walks or play catch too often because I was too busy keeping my world in order.

What I know now is:

1. My world will never be perfect. Perfection will come in heaven, not before.

2. My to-do list will never be done. God has given me enough time to day for what He’s asked me to do. It’s not as if He’s wringing his hands saying, “Oh no, that poor woman. I should have given her 26 hours!” If you have more to do than humanly possible, go to God and ask him to show you what to take off your list and how to organize your day.

3. My kids aren’t perfect either, but we have some great memories together. My son has grown and has a family of his own. He’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. And we don’t expect each other to be. Good thing, because as a mom of six kids (and the youngest two being four-years-old) that would be a lot of “images” to maintain!)

Some of our favorite memories are times when we forgot there was a world out there we were trying to impress … and just enjoyed being together—laughing, loving, and enjoying life.

How about you? Are you trying to hold everything together? It’s exhausting isn’t it?

Instead, trust the the most “perfect” parent that you can be is one who has grace for herself and her children, no matter what expectations you feel from the outside world. Your children will thank you for it! And the memories will be even more wonderful than any image you tried to uphold!

Don’t get caught up in being the perfect mom. Be the mom your kids need. @TriciaGoyer

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Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for the blessing of children and gift of motherhood. Help me be the mom my kids need and not the perfect mom. Help me keep my priorities straight and resist the pressures to do it all. Thank you for being the perfect parent and showing me what it means to truly love!

More Resources

Balanced: Finding Center as a Work-at-Home Mom by Tricia Goyer

Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom (Mothers of Preschoolers (Mops)) by Tricia Goyer

Lead Your Family Like Jesus: Powerful Parenting Principles from the Creator of Families by Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, & Tricia Goyer

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July 23, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

Just Be Available to God (Part 1 of 3)

If you want God to work in your life, then just be available! Be available AND believe He will move on your behalf. You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. But when you trust that fact. Trust God completely. Trust His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you to the right path. Let me tell you how I know.

(Read Part 2 here.)

Just Be Available (Part 1 of 3)

Thirty-six years ago there was a single, young woman about to give birth. She was young and didn’t know how she could afford a child without her parent’s help. She hadn’t talked to her former boyfriend in months–she didn’t even know how to reach him. How could she tell him she was having his child?

This young woman attended church some, yet her dialogue with God was stilted. How could God let this happen to her? What would her life be like now?

A baby girl was born, and upon holding her child this young lady knew things would be okay. Perhaps this baby was a gift, not a burden as she supposed. So this woman raised her daughter the best she could, and while she wanted to give her child more than she had…

History has a way of repeating itself.

When the daughter became a young woman she found herself in the same situation—living at home, pregnant, scared. The daughter knew she could raise this child. After all, her mom had done it. But what would her life be like? How could God let this happen to her?

If you haven’t guessed already. I was the daughter.

Born to a single mom, as a teenager becoming a single mom myself. At age seventeen God gave me a son. My boyfriend was out of the picture, and I faced raising a child alone with little education, no money, and maybe according to the world, little hope for my future.

Now if you take this story at face value, I am nothing more than a statistic.

According to government research, most daughters of young mothers go on to be teen mothers themselves. They face lives of hardship, living on welfare for the most part—becoming a burden rather than an asset to society.

Yet, I am not a statistic. And you know why I’m not a statistic? Because God doesn’t do them.

Yet, I am not a statistic. Because God doesn’t do them. @TriciaGoyer

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Did you hear that?

God doesn’t do statistics. In fact, He likes to blow them out of the water.

You see, God has a history of seeing something that no one else does. Like seeing a king in a shepherd boy named David, seeing an apostle in a young zealot named Paul, and seeing a mighty warrior in a frightened no-body named Gideon.

God has X-ray eyes that see right through any outward characteristics or any national statistics. His X-ray eyes scan down to the heart.

And what did God see? He must have seen something worthwhile. Because . . .

At age 43, I’m a multi-published author of magazine articles, Bible study notes, curriculum, and fifteen books. My book for teenage mothers was nominated for a prestigious award. I’m a national speaker, traveling to share God’s good news.

While in my twenties I helped to launch a Crisis Pregnancy Center, helped start numerous abstinence programs, and launched support groups for Teen Moms.

Just Be Available

Now, if I were not a believer, all these would be things I could really tout. But honestly, I can say that it doesn’t have to do with me at all.

It’s about:

A BIG God with BIG dreams.
A God who has made an agreement with me that is eternal, final, and sealed.
A God who is constantly looking after my safety and success.
A God who is strong in my weakness.
A God who sees the future sees the past and has a perfect plan for me.

Well, I guess the whole truth is that I do have something to do with it. It’s only a little something, but I guess it makes a pretty big difference.

See God can be all those things in my life, only if I let Him.

There is one thing I must do . . . and that is Be Available. Of course, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Here I am. God use me.” I didn’t just clear my schedule and wait for God to show up.

Rather, the steps towards my availability were a work-in-progress. They started on the day I was six months pregnant and accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. I like to look at that as Day One.

In those 26 years from then to now, I’ve learned a lot.

Just Be Available

Lesson #1: Sometimes being available means stepping away from the status quo.

For me, that meant moving 1,000 miles away. Seriously, 1,000 miles. You see after I gave my heart to the Lord, I birthed a beautiful son. Not too long later, God gave me an amazing, Christian husband and two more children. Then He asked us to move . . . (in a roundabout way.)

First, God put us into a community of like-minded people. Our friends longed for a simple life away from the hurry and worry in California.

Next, He placed a desire in our hearts to raise our children in a better place. A place called Montana. We’d talk about it with our friends, we’d dreamt about it, and hoped that many someday it would come true.

Then, we decided to pray. My husband and I got on our knees and prayed that IF it was God’s desire He would make it clear. John was just graduated from college, and I was raising three small children under the age of 5.

We knew we’d be leaving our families, leaving our friends, leaving everything we knew. We had no job in Montana, no money to move, in fact, we’d never even been there before! Still, we had a desire. One we couldn’t shake.

At the time, my husband sold computers on commission in a small store. He’d usually sell 1-2 a week. He went to work the next day after our joint-prayer, and sold 11 computers! Enough to pay off our current bills, enough to move and live on. It was the confirmation we’d been looking for.

So we did it. We packed up our three kids and moved. Our families thought we were crazy.

They were sure we were joining some commune or something. We saw Kalispell for the first time as we drove in with our stuff. Within one week we were renting a house. Within three weeks, my husband had a far better job than he had in California. And within six months we’d purchased our first house. In less than a year, we were plugged into an amazing church and ministering to children in ways we’d always dreamed of.

We serve a BIG God with BIG dreams.

You have to believe this. If you don’t believe in a BIG God with BIG dreams there’s no use being available. But when you trust that fact. Trust God completely. Trust His dreams, THEN you can also trust Him to lead you to the right path.

Seeing God-at-work. Seeing what He did with our lives when we were available made me hungry for more. I wanted to experience God at work like that again.

Henry and Mel Blackaby say, “Watching the activity of God from a distance can never compare with the thrill of being fully involved in the Spirit’s active work.”

You have to want God. Not want to work for Him. Or learn about Him. But want Him. You have to want to experience Him at work in your lives. You have to be hungry for what only He can give—a hope and a future.

(This is Part 1 of a 3-part series on Being Available to God. Be sure to check out Part 2 and Part 3.

Prayer

God, I want to trust you. I want to be available for the big plans you have for me. Lead me to the right path. I am hungry for a hope and a future.

Just Be Available

What BIG DREAM is God whispering into your heart? Maybe, like me, you feel God pulling you towards words, towards writing and speaking and sharing His message. If that sounds familiar then maybe you need to join me in the Write That Book Club!

Making your writing dreams become a reality is tough. You have ideas but you wonder if any of them are good. You have no idea how to connect with agents and editors, and what in the world is book proposal anyway?

I’m here to help. And I’ve invited some of my friends to help you too. They are professional agents, editors, authors, and marketing and publicity team members. They’re the best of the best in the Christian publishing industry. Together we want to help you reach your dreams.

To help you do this, I’ve created Write That Book. This premier group provides education, inspiration, and connection with other writers and experts. Learn all the tricks of the trade while getting your personal questions answered.

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July 18, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

Do you feel that God is punishing you for your past sins? I used to feel the same way. Read on to see how the Lord taught me differently.

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

The other day I was mindlessly scrolling my Facebook feed when a headline caught my eye: “Toni Braxton Once Believed God Gave Her Son Autism Because Of Her Past Abortion.” My heart clenched as I read that—not only because of Toni’s pain and shame but because of my own.

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Overwhelmed with despair and seeking advice, I went to a Planned Parenthood clinic. The “counselor” looked across the table and focused on my eyes. “You’re young. You have your whole life ahead of you. An abortion is the best choice.”

“But . . . what about the baby?” I’d asked.

“It’s not a baby,” she told me. “Right now it’s just a few cells. The doctor’s just scraping them out.”

I bought into her lie and I scheduled an abortion, even though deep down I knew it was a baby. I knew if I didn’t intervene I’d be holding a child in my arms in seven months. And that scared me, too.

I was once told, “You’re young… An abortion is the best choice.” @TriciaGoyer

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Later, I was horrified to find out that not only did those “few cells” have a beating heart, but little arms and legs and lips and tiny ears. Knowing that, the shame pressed down even more and I walked through life feeling numb, unable to face the truth of my decision.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

This time I was determined to carry my child. (I found out later that many young women who’ve had an abortion have another baby within a few years. It’s an “atonement child” of sorts.)

It was during this second pregnancy that I turned my life over to God. I prayed, “God, if you can do anything with my life, please do.” God has done amazing things. He gave me a beautiful son, and later brought me a wonderful Christian husband. Everything was going well in my life, but I still was ashamed of my past. Few people knew about my abortion, and I was sure they’d hate me if they found out.

A few years after John and I were married, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited to have a baby with my husband. Finally, I’m doing things right. Yet a couple of months later I woke up in a pool of blood, and I knew two things:

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Looking back, my heart aches for the young me, a woman who still didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. I saw God as a stern judge who was weighing all my deeds and found me wanting.

My heart aches for the young me, who didn’t understand God’s complete forgiveness. @TriciaGoyer

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For years I felt my abortion was too much for God to forgive. I had a hard time forgiving myself. It was only when I attended a Bible study and worked through the book Forgiven and Set Free that I realized Jesus’ death covered all my sins. Who was I to say my sin was greater than His sacrifice?

The freedom I’m walking in today comes from understanding who God is. My sin was horrible, yes. I’ll always regret not having that child, discovering who he or she is, and spending this life together.

Yet, I’m thankful for the eternity to come. I’m thankful that in God’s eyes I stand clean before Him, as white as snow. God is not a God who is punishing you for your past sins! There are natural consequences for our sins—pain and shame and regret were some of the consequences I faced—yet God offers forgiveness and grace. These are not dependent on who we are but on who He is.

As Romans 8:1-2 says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you are carrying around the pain and shame from past sin. And maybe you’re thinking God is punishing you for your past sins. If so, then do two things.

In your mind’s eye, go back to that moment of your sin. See your sin, and then look to your right hand. Picture Jesus standing there. There’s isn’t a look of anger in his gaze, but one of compassion. He is there waiting for you to turn to Him and find Him so you’ll have real, abundant life. He’s been there all along, and He’s waiting for you to give Him your whole heart.
Picture Jesus on the cross. See Him there. Know His sacrifice is enough. Pray and thank Him for that.

My prayer for you today, friend, is that you will find freedom in Jesus Christ that you’ve never known before. I pray you will begin to understand the breadth and length and height and depth of God’s love . . . not only for mankind but also for you. Trust Him in that. Discover that truth for yourself today.

It’s my prayer for Toni Braxton, too. That Jesus will meet her wherever she is, just as He met me.

Have you met with Jesus? I would love to talk with you!

~Tricia

Further Resources:

Sometimes those steps are easy, but many times they require a move outside of what feels safe or secure. When women stop focusing on their own dreams and purposes, and instead focus on God’s dreams and purposes, everything changes. Go to: Walk It Out

June 30, 2014 by Tricia Goyer 11 Comments

A Love Story of My Own

I grew up going to church for the most part.

It started when I was eight-years-old and my mother and grandmother gave their hearts to the Lord. They attended a church where people attended together yet they also reached out to each other outside of the church building. I remember picnics and dinners out. I remember a new community of people who surrounded our family with love.

I remember my Sunday School teacher who shared God’s love through flannel graph stories and films. Not the VCR tapes movies, but rather the old reel-to-reel films that showed the parables of Jesus, and told what it meant to be faithful, honest, and true. I loved my Sunday School class, children’s church, and the prizes I got for memorizing Scripture. I remember singing songs about God. I remember wonderful Summer VBS camps and memorizing the books of the Bible to win a board game.

The problem was that while all those things made me think about God (and I loved Him in a way) I didn’t understand what a personal relationship God meant.

I didn’t know how it applied to my everyday life.

And then, instead of continuing my relationship with God, and continuing to spend time with others, I walked away from that in my teen years. I wanted to do things my own way. I was looking for love and I thought I could find it in boys.

Instead, I found myself pregnant and without a boyfriend when I was only 17. For many, many months I didn’t want to think about what God thought about me. I tried to push all thoughts of Him out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about all the memory verses I’d memorized as a child. Instead, I wallowed in everything I had lost–my youth, my teen years, my boyfriend who was with someone else. I felt more and more depressed as they days passed.

Then one day around noon I was watching soap operas and I started to remember those good moments when a church family loved me. I didn’t dwell on everything that had gone wrong.

I didn’t dwell on everything that had gone wrong. @TriciaGoyer

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This day, I thought about a time in my life when things used to be right, when I was happy. When I believed in God, and when I had joy.

And that is the day I gave my heart to the Lord … my whole heart.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach and I said, “God, I have messed up big time. If you can do anything with my life, please do.” It was at that moment that I felt HOPE spring into my heart. Hope in God. Hope in my future. Hope in eternity because I knew Christ had forgiven me for all my sins. And that was the beginning of my love relationship with God. I had loved him before like I loved peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and loved watching CHIPS on TV. Not potato chips, but those cute highway patrolmen who rode around on motorcycles and stopped crime.

Once I realized the depth of my sin and understood had God had washed me and made me are pure and white as snow, that’s when I truly fell in love with him.

We can have knowledge of God and spend time in His house and with His people, but until we understand who we are without Him–understand the truth of our sin–that’s when the true love relationship begins.

By accepting my sin and the pain it caused, I truly fell in love with Jesus for taking that sin away through His death on the cross.

So let me ask you…

When Did You Fall In Love With God?

Resources to check out…

Life in Spite of Me by Kristen Jan Anderson & Tricia Goyer

I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp

Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman

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Teen Mom

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Things Every Child Needs to Hear

Things Every Young Mom Needs to Tell Herself

Your words change everything, your words that you speak to yourself and to your child matter!

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17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Parents

1. Free childcare.

2. Guy Events.

3. Car clinics.

4. Expert advice.

5. Necessity kits.

6. Christian books and resources.

7. Craft time!

8. Gift cards

9. Gas cards.

10. Christian music.

11. Toys-R-Us or Walmart gift cards.

12. Home improvement projects.

13. Offer a mini-vacation.

14. Invite her to your house for dinner.

15. Free haircut, manicure, or massage.

16. Kids haircuts.

17. Birthday cakes.

How to Be the Perfect Mom…

Stop Trying to Be Perfect!

I wanted to be seen as the perfect mom, too. I kept my house spotless.

What I know now is:

Prayer

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Just Be Available (Part 1 of 3)

History has a way of repeating itself.

If you haven’t guessed already. I was the daughter.

Now if you take this story at face value, I am nothing more than a statistic.

God doesn’t do statistics. In fact, He likes to blow them out of the water.

Just Be Available

See God can be all those things in my life, only if I let Him.

In those 26 years from then to now, I’ve learned a lot.

Just Be Available

Lesson #1: Sometimes being available means stepping away from the status quo.

So we did it. We packed up our three kids and moved. Our families thought we were crazy.

We serve a BIG God with BIG dreams.

Prayer

God, I want to trust you. I want to be available for the big plans you have for me. Lead me to the right path. I am hungry for a hope and a future.

Just Be Available

I’m here to help. And I’ve invited some of my friends to help you too. They are professional agents, editors, authors, and marketing and publicity team members. They’re the best of the best in the Christian publishing industry. Together we want to help you reach your dreams.

Learn more here:

God is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

As a fifteen-year-old young woman, I found myself pregnant.

Then I found myself pregnant again at age seventeen.

First, I’d lost my baby.

And second, God was punishing me for my past sins, for my abortion.

Further Resources:

A Love Story of My Own

I grew up going to church for the most part.

I didn’t know how it applied to my everyday life.

This day, I thought about a time in my life when things used to be right, when I was happy. When I believed in God, and when I had joy.

And that is the day I gave my heart to the Lord … my whole heart.

So let me ask you…

When Did You Fall In Love With God?

Resources to check out…