Who do you influence?
It is easy to think about being a person of influence when it comes to my work, and church, and community organizations. Some people are hired for their roles. Others are voted in. When a decision needs to be made, a command needs to be given, or when order needs to be brought from chaos, all heads turn to the influential leader. He or she is the one with the cocked chin and steady gaze. Most of the time he or she is the one with the plan.
Sometimes I wonder why a bigger deal isn’t made of this in the birthing room as a child enters the world. “Congratulations, person of influence! It’s up to you now to mold and shape this human being for the next eighteen years, guiding him/her to successful, productive, God-seeking adulthood!”
Or better yet, at the altar.
I, Ben, take you, Sarah, to be my wife, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband who will use my influence in the home to lead you closer to God, helping you to achieve your God-given potential.
And
I, Sarah, take you, Ben, to be my husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true wife who will use my influence in the home to lead you closer to God, helping you to achieve your God-given potential.
That’s what influence is, after all, to have an impact on someone, to be a leader. Influence in the home doesn’t come from being hired or voted in. It’s a God-given responsibility that begins the moment you say, “I do.” The job description might grow when children join the picture, but it starts with one man and one women committed to each other for life.
Now you tell me! you might be thinking. I know, I know.
It took a long time for John and me to figure this out too. When we got married I was 18 years old, and John was 23 years old. I already had a child from a previous relationship, and we really didn’t talk about the hard issues before we said, “I do.” We loved each other and wanted to be together, but at the time we had no idea that servant leadership would be the one thing that would get us through.
Are you a person of influence in your home?
Yes, you are. And this is how you can be a godly one:
- Be confident in your role. Know you are a person of influence in your home. Don’t be brash or prideful. Simply accept that you are a leader and step out in humility, depending on God. What you do and what you say does impact others.
- Be a trustworthy person. People are influenced most by those they are willing trust. Do what you say you will do. Live the type of life you want your children to copy. Make your words and actions mean something.
- Be a cheerleader. Being a person of influence means understanding another person’s weakness while also praising their strengths. When someone fumbles, encourage him to get back up and try again. When someone succeeds, raise your voice with joy. People repeat what is noticed. The louder you praise an action, the more often it will be repeated.
- Be a listener. We don’t truly know a person until we listen to his or her heart. Be the one others come to. Remember you don’t always have to have an answer; you simply have to be willing to listen.
- Be a learner. Influential people are life-long learners. They study God’s word, connect with a community of believers for development, and they watch and learn from people they respect. In the home there is no such thing as status quo. Everything is always in a state of change! Be willing to learn how to lead your family better, and your influence will go far!
Influence starts at the birthing room and at the altar, but it grows with the daily ins and out of life. God doesn’t leave you to tackle your role alone. He desires to guide you. He knows the more you connect with Him, the greater your influence will be!
For more information about having godly influence check out Lead Your Family Like Jesus, co-written with Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges. Here’s a bit more about the book:
Does your family need a five-star general at the helm? A psychologist? A referee? Ken Blanchard, best-selling co-author of The One Minute Manager and Lead Like Jesus, points to a better role model: the Son of God. Joined by veteran parents and authors Phil Hodges and Tricia Goyer, renowned business mentor Blanchard shows how every family member benefits when parents take the reins as servant-leaders. Moms and dads will see themselves in a whole new light—as life-changers who get their example, strength, and joy from following Jesus at home. This user-friendly book’s practical principles and personal stories mark the path to a truly Christ-centered family, where integrity, love, grace, self-sacrifice, and forgiveness make all the difference.
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