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September 12, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Homeschool Curriculum Unboxing: Sonlight

One of my favorite times of the year is when my new homeschool curriculum arrives. For the last couple of years, I’ve used Sonlight to homeschool all my children together. It works great!! I’m doing the same thing this year, too.

My children are Level D (ages 8-11) and Level 100 (ages 12-16) in the Sonlight homeschool curriculum. But I love to combine levels to teach all my kids together!

Homeschool Scheduling Hope

In order to make the most of our homeschool day, I literally put the two levels together and do the Read Alouds to both groups. Last time it took me 1 ½ years to go through the doubled-up curriculum this way, but none of us minded. The younger kids enjoyed the older kids’ books and the older kids loved the young kids’ books. This really helps the kids bond. From ages 7-15 we all enjoy the stories together. I can’t tell you the number of times all the kids were either laughing or crying at the same time. It’s fun to hear them talking about the stories months later.

I usually spend 2 – 2 ½ hours each day reading aloud to all my kids together. While I’m reading they’re usually coloring, playing with Legos, doing puzzles or crafts. I pause every few pages and ask questions to make sure people are paying attention. Sometimes the older girls take turns reading too.

Then, after the read-aloud time, everyone breaks up to do their individual work. This takes anywhere from 1-4 more hours, depending on the age of the child, how much work and independent reading there is, and how motivated they are.

Teacher’s Guide

What makes Sonlight Homeschool Curriculum easy is that the Teacher’s Guide has everything listed out—what needs to be done each day. There are also handouts and worksheets to go with the books. Since everything is figured out for me, there is little prep.

I’ll admit that we don’t cover every single thing in the teacher’s guide. Sometimes I’ll choose not to do all the extra activities, and we just read the books. That’s okay. My kids are learning a ton and excelling!

Watch the video unboxing here:

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

Need more ideas and advice on homeschooling? Pick up a copy of Homeschool Basics. Receive tried-and-true homeschool advice from veteran homeschooling moms Tricia Goyer and Kristi Clover. We dish out practical help on getting started and staying the course. Homeschool Basics will remind you that the best homeschooling starts with the heart. Packed with ideas to help you push aside your fears and raise kids who will grow to be life-long learners.

Kristi and I believe that homeschooling can transform your life, your home, and your family. Mostly, we believe homeschooling can truly prepare your children for the life God’s called them to live.

Don’t let doubts hold you back any longer.

Get Homeschool Basics on Amazon Now!

Have you checked out my homeschool success course yet?

Let me share all the practical tips and tricks I’ve learned to:

—Homeschool multiple levels in four hours a day.

—Understand the basics of homeschool laws and what your kids need to graduate and go to college.

—Discover your gifts as a homeschool teacher.

—Finding extra help for special needs kids.

…and so much more!

Here is my welcome module to give you a glimpse of this course!

August 23, 2023 by Pamela Black Leave a Comment

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

What does it mean for a parent of a family to effectively lead young children?

The answer to that question has come to me through years of trial and error (mostly error). As a young mom, I didn’t give leadership much thought — I was just trying to get through the day. But as my kids grew beyond the toddler years, I realized something important: Kids do what they see. They believe in what is prioritized at home. That meant I was a leader. I had to lead young children whether I liked it or not.

My leadership grew right along with our three kids. Then, when those kids became teens and young adults, my husband, John, and I adopted seven children and started all over again. Seeing what worked — and what didn’t — the first time around made me more confident as a leader the second time. Also, seeing my older kids as adults confirmed what we did right.

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

Setting Family Priorities

The values and priorities you model in good times and bad are likely to become the values and priorities your kids adopt as adults. These are the things they will pass down to their kids, too. So we want to make sure they pick up the right things! Here are six ways I have found to effectively lead little ones:

1. Trust

Yes, it really does matter if you go out for ice cream after naptime if that’s what you promised. It’s easy to follow a leader we trust. Kids are quick to follow when they know you care about them, consistently meet their needs and keep your promises. The more instances where we do what we say, the more our children become willing to follow. Also, trust built in the early years forms a strong connection that will help kids to turn to you in the tumultuous teen years.

2. Belonging

What is your family all about? What makes you a special group of people? Let your kids know they are an important part of your family. Be sure to point out their best qualities, and let them see how you need them and they need you. Of course, words are not enough. Make your child a part of the team by giving them simple chores, such as setting the table, sorting the laundry, or pulling weeds in the yard. Point out how their small efforts benefit the family as a whole.

3. Focus

Where you place your focus will direct how your family spends their days. John and I worked together to determine what things were important for our children’s futures. Then we decided how to make those things important now. Because we want our children to have a relationship with God as teens and adults, we have a time of daily Bible reading and prayer with our kids now. We attend church and serve other Christians by volunteering in children’s church. We collect baby items for our local teen-mom support group to model helping those in need. These small but consistent acts demonstrate that we put God first as a family and build a strong foundation for our children’s future faith.

4. Flexibility

As children grow, priorities change. It’s important to set routines, but it’s also important to be flexible. Nobody enjoys being around a rigid leader. If something you did last year doesn’t work this year, be willing to try something new. Different strategies may work with different personalities of children, so be prepared to change things up.

5. Boundaries

Leadership isn’t just about where you go, but also what you protect. I’ve learned to say no to a lot of good things to protect the best things. For us, we value family dinners, evening togetherness, and reading together. To do these things, we’ve had to say no to a lot of outside activities. We believe that, at some point in the future, it will be more important for us to have a family bond than for each of our kids to be part of a different activity that fills up our evenings. There is plenty of time in our children’s future for them to pursue leisure activities, but these childhood years — with everyone together — are fleeting.

6. Perspective

Finally, as parents, it’s up to us to create a vision for the type of family we want to be. That’s why my husband and I explain to our kids that the things our family focuses on may look different from what other families are emphasizing. This also provides us with opportunities to talk to them about how the priorities of those who follow God should look different from those of people who don’t.

Maybe your focus is on debt-free living rather than extravagant vacations. Perhaps you choose to give to your church instead of buying brand-name clothes. Use these practices to talk to your children about the charge to believers found in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Ask your children to join you in making these decisions, teaching them what God’s Word says.

Start Strong!

Being a family leader means choosing where you want to lead; once you make good choices, you’ve already done half the work. There are so many decisions we have to make on a daily basis as parents, but when you make solid decisions based on God’s Word while your children are young, it will be easier to lead well in the seasons to come.

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

And between homeschooling, writing, and leading a Teen MOPS group — I definitely get frustrated and cranky at times.

But you know what bothered me the most? Hearing my kids complaining. It drove me crazy until I realized I could teach them something better.

I could teach them gratitude. We could learn to be a family that’s grateful and thankful. Together we could become Grumble Free.

Would a year be enough to teach us all to focus on God’s goodness through every opportunity?

We found out in our Grumble Free Year and now you can read about how we faced whining and complaining head-on and became a stronger family because of it!

www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

Download your free GFY Scripture Color Sheets!

August 16, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

Never underestimate the importance of a simple homeschool schedule. Does making a school-at-home schedule intimidate you? Do you resist the idea of a schedule “tying you down?” Or maybe you love the idea but you just aren’t sure where to begin. A simple homeschool schedule can guide your day and help parents and kids focus on what’s most important. But before I share my top tips, remember that no schedule is set in stone… simplicity also means flexibility!

The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

As a homeschool mom of twenty-seven years (with a large family!), I’ve had numerous schedules over the years. Because our family dynamics have differed from year to year, our days and our seasons also fluctuate. One year we had a new baby, and the following year my grandma needed extra care in our home. A few years after that, I had three children to teach, and the next year, we added four more children through adoption.

The important thing is to evaluate your current season and figure out what works well now.

Things can and will change. If something doesn’t work, try a different way. Remember, you are in control. Here are several things to remember when you go to create your simple homeschool schedule.

1. A simple homeschool schedule helps kids know what to expect.

This is true for virtual or hybrid schools as well. When kids know what to expect – and what’s expected of them – there is less anxiety and far less fighting. By knowing what comes next, kids can naturally prepare and adjust.

2. A simple homeschool schedule helps you develop daily routines and turn chaos into calm.

If you’re struggling with feeling like your life is chaotic, a routine can transform the craziness into a much calmer existence. Best of all, by creating a simple school schedule, your home and life will be more orderly. On top of that, you’ll also get more done.

3. A simple homeschool schedule will help you be more disciplined.

If you’re going to be successful as a school-at-home mom, you’ve got to be disciplined. No, you don’t need to run such a tight ship that every fifteen minutes is scheduled, but you do need to set up and follow a routine. Nothing good ever happens by accident. If you want something good to happen, put some structure around it.

4. **To create a schedule that fits your needs, start by asking questions:**

What would a great school-at-home day look like?
A year from now, what would I consider a ‘success’?
What values do I want my children to have when they complete their schooling?

5. Next, start to ‘form up’ your day:

With answers to these questions in mind, write down a list of everything you’d like to complete in a day. Put in even those little things that you always wished you had time for. (Maybe you have a book you’ve wanted to read for a long time – put a few minutes of reading in your schedule!) Based on your family’s priorities, add in or take out what will make your days run more smoothly.

Ask:

What works in my schedule?
Is there something I need to cut?
What do I need to add?

6. Have a start time to shoot for.

In my house, we prioritize sleep, so I don’t have an early start time for my kids. But it helps many homeschool parents to have a start time to shoot for.

7. Don’t try to make your day look like a public school day.

Your kids aren’t going to do well if you try to make them sit at desks from 8 am to 3 pm. That’s not necessary! Instead, set blocks of time for reading, math, science, history, Bible, and art. For example: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday can be your times to focus on reading, history, and Bible. Tuesday and Thursday can be for math, science, and art. Or, if you’d rather do each subject each day, ask your children what they’d like to do first.

Check out my book Homeschool Basics!

Let me show you what has worked for my family for over two and a half decades. I want to help you take unnecessary pressure off yourself so you can focus on what is truly important in your homeschooling journey. Get your copy here!

August 14, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 1 Comment

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours Today!

Believe me when I tell you – homeschooling success can be yours. Let me tell you how I made it work for our family and how you can, too!

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

18 (short!) years. That’s all I had. And with some of my adopted kids joining our family late in life, I knew I had even less than that with them. I wanted to pack my children’s lives with meaning. I wanted to give them the best life I could. Because someday, I want to stand before God and be able to say I had done all I could to raise my children to love and follow Him.

But something was holding me back. As I lay awake at night, it was like a weight sitting on my chest… the possibility of homeschooling.

I realize now, that weight was fear. I was scared that homeschooling would require me to kiss my dreams goodbye. That if I homeschooled, my kids would emerge into adulthood as weird, socially awkward creatures that people would roll their eyes at and say, ” Oh, they must have been homeschooled.” Most of all, I was afraid homeschooling would turn my life upside down.

In many ways, it did.

My dining room table was suddenly taken over by books and papers, and my thoughts became consumed with worries about curriculum, homeschool co-ops, and conferences. I worried, “Am I even qualified to do this?” My school-aged kids were home all the time, so I had no time for myself.

But as the days passed into months, and months to years, I started to notice a few things:

My kids were playing outside when other kids were stuck at their desks all day.

My kids truly loved learning and viewed the world as their classroom. They loved the Lord and were excited to serve Him.

These kids raised at home weren’t socially awkward – in fact, they loved talking to adults and could strike up a conversation with anyone, anywhere.

I felt like I knew my kids – really KNEW them.

I was confident I could give them each the individual attention they needed to be successful. Homeschooling had made it possible for me to reach them despite their different levels, abilities, and challenges.

Not only that, but I found I did have time for myself – time to write and publish books, serve moms in my community, and host a podcast.

So, I guess you could say that homeschooling did turn our lives upside down. But, 10 kids and many years later, I realized the truth:

Homeschooling didn’t turn our lives upside down. It turned our upside-down lives right-side-up.

Now, I want to offer the same gifts to YOUR family: the rich gifts of home education.

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours!

They say bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s moving towards the thing you fear anyway. Maybe you’ve got fears, concerns, and questions. I’m here to tell you that’s OK. In fact, it’s actually very normal.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?”

Luke 14:28

You are right to consider the cost, and that’s exactly why I designed the Homeschool Success Course with you in mind. I know the cost and I know that the gift of a homeschool education to your children and your family is worth it. And I’m here to help you!

I’ve put my heart and soul into developing a course for you that outlines the most important aspects of homeschooling:

Creating a positive home environment where your children will thrive and learn.
Inviting your kids to join you on their education journey.
Understanding the basics of homeschooling laws and what it really takes for your kids to graduate and go on to college.
Discovering your gifts as a homeschooling teacher.
Finding extra help for special-needs kids.
… and more!

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

You can bypass the stress, confusion, and exhaustion I experienced in the early years. You can skip straight to the meaningful, fun adventure that comes with schooling your kids at home! Because I care, I’ve compiled my best tips and tricks, making it easy for you to give your family the rich gift of homeschooling.

Don’t Wait!

You can proceed confidently and wisely. You can start your homeschooling journey with an entire toolbox of knowledge and inspiration.

Can you imagine what life will be like when you create a positive homeschooling environment where your children thrive and learn? And where you feel peace as a homeschooling mom?

Let me show you how! Learn more about The Homeschool Success Course now!

August 7, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

How to Budget for Back-to-School Expenses

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

I hate to say it, but back-to-school expenses are coming. Summer has been flying by and, depending on where you are, the school year is quickly creeping up on us. Here in Georgia, school started the first week of August!

I know for me, last year was hard. Maybe that was because it was the first school year for our family of five–I wasn’t exactly sure how to budget for it. Or maybe it was because there really are so many various and unexpected school-related expenses that happen during the year.

That’s why I believe it’s important to make sure you have at least $100 of wiggle room in your budget each month for the school year and especially back-to-school expenses. I know that sounds like a lot of money (and it definitely is.) However, chances are, when you look back over last year’s budget, you’ll notice that you come very close if not over the $100 a month for all those last-minute purchases.

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

Here are just a few ways that can hopefully help you figure out how to find an extra $100 (or more!) in your monthly budget for back-to-school expenses:

1. Cell Phones

Regardless if it’s just you and your spouse or the whole family on your phone plan, paying for cell service can be a little crazy. That’s why if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you switch over to a company like Republic Wireless (who I personally use) or Ting (several of my friends use them and love them).

You still get to have an awesome smartphone but without the high cell phone bill (mine is only $25/mo with data!).

2. Insurance

Yeah, I know, you don’t want to talk about this subject because it’s one of those “necessary evils.” However, if you haven’t called around lately to gather new quotes for your different insurance needs, I highly suggest you do. You could save yourself hundreds of dollars a year just from a simple phone call.

3. Subscription Services

It’s happened to me before. I completely forget that I have a subscription service deducting money from my bank account. It’s like I put it on autopilot and fail to evaluate if it’s a necessary expense or not.

The next thing to do is check for any recurring subscriptions, maybe now is the time to evaluate if they are still necessary. Spend a little time going through and canceling the unnecessary ones. This should add a little more wiggle room to your budget for those back-to-school expenses.

4. Be Inconvenienced

I’m a firm believer in the fact that sometimes, we are just paying way too much for convenience. It’s possible that if we allow ourselves to be inconvenienced, we could save $1,000’s of dollars a year!

One of my favorite ways to be inconvenienced is by not using paper towels. A few years ago, we switched from using paper towels regularly to using bar mop cloths. That one small change has resulted in saving us hundreds over the years! We only have to buy one roll of paper towels twice a year (for draining meats like bacon or ground beef.) Honestly, it has affected us very little.

So, look around your home and find little ways that you could save money by simply being “inconvenienced.” You could end up adding a whole lot more to your school budget than just a $100 a month!

What to Do with Your Savings

Those are just a few ways that you can cut your expenses before the start of the school year. But the key to not going broke this school year is to remember that once you add that wiggle room to your budget, as a result, you must make sure that you add a line item accounting for that.

For instance, let’s say you cut your cell phone bill from $100 to $30 a month (yes, that’s totally possible with Republic Wireless or Ting.) Now you have $70 of wiggle room in your budget that must be accounted for.

Now you’d want to add a line item like “School Miscellaneous” or something with $70 as the total.

Example:

Mortgage: $1,000
Utilities: $200
Car Payment: $400
Insurance: $150
Cell Phone: $30
Groceries: $500
School Miscellaneous: $70

Then whenever those random, “Hey we need each child to bring in a snack for our upcoming event on Thursday” happens, you’ll have the money ready to go in your budget. Just make sure that you account for that expense and deduct the total from your category for back-to-school expenses.

Hopefully, this helps you if you’re getting geared up for the back-to-school season. Even if this isn’t a stage of life you’re currently dealing with, send this onto a friend that is in this season to give them a boost!

What is a piece of advice that you could offer someone else for not going broke during the school year?

{More about Jessi Fearon}

Jessi Fearon is the founder of the popular personal finance blog, Real Life on a Budget, where she shares her family’s real-life on a budget in order to inspire others to learn how to manage their money better. Jessi’s work has been featured on Buzzfeed, Rockstar Finance, TIME/Motto Magazine, Money Saving Mom, and The Penny Hoarder. Jessi resides in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia with her husband Pat and their three children Conner, Collin, and Charlotte and a rescue dog named Belle.

Additional Resources

How to Avoid Going Broke This School Year
Saving Money with Groupon Coupons
7 Tips for Living on $7 a Day
Restoring the Art of the Piggy Bank Savings
30 Cheap & Fun Date Night Ideas

July 24, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 14 Comments

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

When it comes to teen pregnancy, often we ask these two questions: if a teen finds themself facing an unplanned pregnancy are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices? We ask because we care. And as parents, we want to protect our kids from difficult situations and the consequences of poor decisions.

Are you a mom or dad who’s wondering if you can make a difference in your child’s choice not to have sex prematurely? The answer is YES! And If you don’t want your daughter or son to be one of the one million teens who become parents every year, consider this:

Be a role model.

Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the boundaries of marriage? The saying “Do what I say, not what I do” never works. We have to set the standard we want our kids to emulate. The standard is God’s Word, not the current culture.

Talk about what love is—and isn’t!

Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love (no matter what they show on television). True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens they are responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won’t make him yours. A baby won’t make him stay.”

**Remind kids it CAN happen to them.**

Having sex, even so-called “protected” sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is not to have sex. And, yes, it’s possible—everyone can make good choices. It’s our job as parents to instruct our kid’s on how to make those choices. Talk openly with your child about sex and sexuality and remind them they are in control of their body—no matter what anyone else says.

Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.

Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, one in three young women get pregnant at least once before they turn twenty—good girls included.

Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.

Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.

Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.

Talk about setting boundaries and not putting themself in situations that will cause them to compromise those decisions. Help them make good plans for their future and stick to their goals. If possible, role-play conversations until they feel confident saying what needs to be said to avoid sexual situations. The more practice a person has in saying something, the easier it will be to say it when the time comes. Even if it feels awkward or silly, help your child find their own words for protecting their boundaries.

Talk about the media’s wrong messages.

The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Babies are a life-long responsibility, not a fashion accessory.

Encourage secondary purity.

Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said “yes” before. Today your child can make the right choice and choose abstinence. Even if they’ve been sexually active in the past, remind them that they can choose differently next time. Help them find forgiveness in Christ and build them up in the way to find the strength to avoid temptation in the future.

Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!

As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our kids. Don’t wait.

Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.

It’s so important for parents to open up a two-way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages the media gives out?

Some of the most difficult conversations I’ve ever had were talking to my kids about sex. But those are also some of the most important ones. Not only did it help us to discuss this important topic, but it lead to other important topics and drew us closer to each other. When we care enough to breach difficult subjects with our kids they begin to understand our hearts better. Don’t miss this opportunity to build a lifelong relationship with your child. Remember, they will grow up one day and this conversation might be a crucial part of their life choices.

Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Although an unplanned pregnancy is something we would rather spare our child from, if your teen (or a teen you know) find’s themself in this situation, know that they can choose to parent and be successful. Teens can be good parents and a baby is always a blessing. We can choose to help a teen become a good parent by supporting them every step of the way.

Additional Resources

For more resources on supporting teen moms, you might want to read these posts:

Teen Mom, You Are Not Alone

Gaining Wisdom by Working with Teen Moms

A Letter to Teen Moms | You Are Important

Broken Things Made Beautiful

Word Identity | Your Words Change Everything!

Share “Teen Mom” with Someone Today!

5 Practical Ways to Run a Teen MOPS Group

Somebody Needs to Hear

17 Ways to Reach Out to Single Moms

Why Does Mentoring Matter? A Lesson From Mary

Just Be Available to God

God Is Not Punishing You For Your Past Sins

An Unexpected Life

How to Start a Teen MOPS Group

How to Help Teen Moms

June 5, 2023 by Tricia Goyer 2 Comments

How to Have a Fulfilling Marriage

I knew I wanted to marry John on our first date. How? Even more than my physical attraction (he was cute!), I was impressed by our conversation. John told me about his growing-up years, his time in the Marine Corps, and his hopes for the future. I knew he was someone I could share a life with. We have been married for over three decades and built a fulfilling marriage together.

How do you joyfully share a life with your spouse? More than that, how do you have a fulfilling marriage?

Here are 7 ways.

Share memories: Memories give us a glimpse into each other’s past. I understand my husband better because of the memories he shares. He understands me better, too.
Share dreams: Ask your spouse, “If you could do anything, what would it be?” The answer may surprise you. Allow your spouse to dream without thinking about logistics and cost. Pray about how to make those dreams possible … or other similar {smaller} dreams.
Share hopes: Dreams look outward, but hopes are what’s tucked deep inside. What does your spouse hope for his/her marriage, parenting, and job? Ask.
Share pet peeves: My husband is bothered by sticky fingers and toys cluttering the living room. And he overlooks a lot of things that drive me crazy. Little annoyances can be avoided if you realize that pet peeves are not big issues, but they matter.
Share laughs: Laughter can help couples face hard situations with grace. Recently we added two new children to our home (adopted from the foster care system), and sometimes we were so overwhelmed that all we could do was laugh! Laughter helped us overcome a lot of battles together.
Share prayers: A dozen years ago, John and I started praying together in the morning. Those prayers mean so much to me. I confidently face the day when I hear my husband’s whispered prayers.
Share a mission: In his book The Sacred Search, Gary Thomas had this to say about a shared mission:

“The old cliché is all too true: a good marriage is the closest two people will ever come to heaven this side of eternity; a bad marriage is the closest two people in an affluent society will ever come to hell.

“Such problems usually erupt from trying to build a life together without purpose, without mission, without something that not only establishes a connection but keeps you caring about each other for the next fifty to sixty years.” Gary Thomas

What is your mission as a couple?

Come up with 3-4 words that answer this statement: “This is what we’re about …”

John and I focus on service, evangelism, hospitality, and making memories. This is who “we” are; our life and choices reflect that. I’m thankful that I have this man to share my life with. Now … what about you?

What do you share with your spouse? What is your mission as a couple?

Additional Resources

Generation Next Marriage | Tricia Goyer
A Conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman on Love is a Choice
How to Give Your Marriage a Regular Check-up
A Conversation with Amber Lia on Marriage Triggers
Resources to Transform Your Marriage

May 31, 2023 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

The ABCs of Safety & Manners

Have you taught your kids the ABCs of safety and manners? One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made as a mom was to expect what I haven’t taught. I’d take my kids out and expect them to know not to ask the lady sitting next to us at the park for part of her lunch. Or expect them to know that they shouldn’t run and scream in a store or touch in an art museum. How would my kids know that if I didn’t teach them?

Teaching and training are part of being a parent.

One of the biggest successes I’ve had as a parent is when I’ve prepared my kids for what’s to come. I’ve given them “rules of conduct”–not to be a dictator, but instead for the sake of safety and manners.

These aren’t rules to be shared one time and forgotten. Instead, they are ones that should be read through often as reminders. (In the beginning, you might want to read over them every time that you go out.) Knowing these rules will prepare your children so they’ll be able to enjoy the day and have fun … and so will you!

I’ve included a printable for you to print, use, post, and share. May all your summer outings be less stressful and safer because of it!

Rules for Outings

Ask permission from your parents before you leave the group.
Be respectful and polite. “Please” and “Thank You” never go out of style.
Consider others before yourself. Take turns.
Do put garbage in a trash can. Leave the place as you find it… or better!
Everyone will be fed. If you are hungry or thirsty let us know. Don’t ask other people for their food. Don’t accept food or offer food to others without permission.
Fighting is for boxers in the ring. Treat others as you want to be treated.
Go slow. When inside, only walk unless you have permission to run.
Hold open doors for those following you.
If you can’t see me, I can’t see you. Get to where you can see me!
Joking and playing is not always appropriate. Consider the place and situation.
Keep your hands to yourself. In museums and other special places, you often have to look only with your eyes, not your hands.
Look and wait if you’re lost. If you get separated from the group ask someone who works there for help and stay put.
Make peace not war. Respect your siblings’ private spaces and don’t irritate them.
Never be alone with a stranger, even if they appear friendly.
Obey your parents the very first time. Say “Yes, mom” or “Yes, dad” to show you heard them.
Partner up. Always stick with your buddy.
Quietly listen. If someone is talking, wait to ask your questions.
Respond to others when asked a question.
STOP is the most important word, especially outside. When an adult says that, you do it, and ask questions later.
Try something new. Embrace the opportunity.
Use inside voices when inside.
Volunteer to help when you see a need.
Watch your gawking. Don’t stare, even if they stared first.
X-pect to carry your own things. If you bring it, you carry it.
You should go to the bathroom before we leave. Don’t wait until the last minute. Let us know when you have to go.
Zero complaining. Smile and have fun!

Download the printable here!

I hope these ABCs of Safety and Manners are helpful to you. Do you have any additional rules? I’d love to hear them!

Additional Resources

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

And between homeschooling, writing, and leading a Teen MOPS group — I definitely get frustrated and cranky at times.

But You know what bothered me the most? Hearing my kids complaining. It drove me crazy until I realized I could teach them something better.

I could teach them gratitude. We could learn to be a family that’s grateful and thankful. Together we could become Grumble Free.

Would a year be enough to teach us all to focus on God’s goodness through every opportunity?

We found out in our Grumble Free Year and now you can read about how we faced whining and complaining head-on and became a stronger family because of it!

Click here to order now: www.thegrumblefreeyear.com

Click here to order The Grumbles picture book!

July 29, 2022 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

When the Story That Brought You Shame Becomes Your Life-Impacting Testimony

Have you ever wanted to have a life-impacting testimony as a Christian? But maybe you felt that your story was only one full of guilt, shame, and mistakes? Today I want to tell you about how my story, which brought me great shame, actually became my life-impacting testimony.

When the Story That Brought You Shame Becomes Your Life-Impacting Testimony

It was a simple, Thursday Bible Study, in a small California town. I sat there with six young moms from my church. At the time John and I had been married three years, and we were the parents of a preschooler and a toddler. I’d dedicated my life to God when I was pregnant with Cory at age seventeen, and I prayed for a future husband. God had brought me John, who loved Cory as his own. And now we had a baby together.

Yet while everything looked happy on the inside, I carried within a deep chasm filled with pain, shame, and regret.

As I sat in that Bible Study, the other women talked about abortion. My chest grew tight, my heart pounded, and a large border grew in the pit of my stomach. I was certain they’d hate me if they knew that I’d had an abortion at age fifteen. Even though I looked as if I fit in with these church women, everything within me told me I didn’t. I mean, what about my testimony?

I certainly didn’t have a life-impacting testimony, in fact, I didn’t feel like I had a testimony at all!

Many years prior, I’d prayed and asked God to forgive me for my abortion, but I couldn’t forget … and I couldn’t forgive myself. I was acting the part, but I felt like a traitor. Looking back, I can easily spot the accusations and the lies. The enemy of my soul hissed that I didn’t belong–with God or these women. It didn’t take much to convince me that it was true. And so I sat silent as they talked, sitting face-to-face but feeling a sea of pain-blocking my friends from getting close. I had made bad decisions, and I’d carry the pain forever … or so I thought.

My life remodeled into a Life-Impacting Testimony

Just a few years later, I sat in another Bible Study. We were in Montana then, and I had three kids, all six and under. Tears streamed down my face, and lightness and joy flooded my heart. I had shared about my past and my sinful decisions, and these women embraced me. They cried with me. It wasn’t a different state or church that had changed things. It wasn’t different women that had made the difference … it was me. I finally had shared the truth of what I’d done, as painful as it was. They understood my pain because each of them had also made the decision to have an abortion. Confessing to each other, and seeking to accept God’s forgiveness, was something we were doing together. When I shared my story the chains of darkness that had held me captive released, giving me freedom. The story that had brought me shame had become my life-impacting testimony.

Each of us carries pain. Sometimes it’s due to our bad decisions. Sometimes it’d due to others’ bad decisions, And sometimes the pain is there because we live in a broken world and bad things happen to good people.

How the pain got there isn’t as important as what we choose to do with it. We can either live under pain, shame, and regret. Or we can choose to lift up our dilapidated hearts to Jesus and ask Him to do some remodeling work within our souls.

When we choose to seek healing, we’re not only doing it only for ourselves. Our families and friends benefit too. When we seek healing we’re choosing to offer our whole selves to God and to others.

What we can learn from Paul and Bathsheba

There are many examples of those in the Bible who allowed their lives to be remodeled by God. Paul was one of them. A former persecutor of Christians, he became a disciple and an evangelist. His “after” looked nothing like his “before.” Paul acknowledged his sin, but he also embraced his forgiveness. He didn’t carry his burden of shame. Instead, he used his story to remind others that God can forgive anyone and remodel anyone. Paul set himself up as proof.

Another person in the Bible that tugs at my heart is Bathsheba.

While many preachers have accused her of being a harlot, there is no evidence in God’s Word to that fact. What we do see is someone who was abused by a man in power, and who lost a husband and a child. None of this was in her control. If anyone had the right to live bitter and angry, it would have been her, yet when we see her years later Bathsheba is bold. She reminds her husband King David that he promised that their son Solomon would be king. And her son Solomon not only took the throne, but he was also the wisest king who ever lived. Bathsheba could have hidden herself away and got stuck her pain, who wouldn’t do that? Yet somewhere in the arch of her story, she began to see a new picture of what her future could be.

This wasn’t the life she’d chosen, but she trusted that God could bring good out of pain.

Walk it Out Podcast

Last week I released a podcast with Natalie Chambers Snapp, and we talked about Bathseba’s story … and how her story can apply to ours. Natalie’s book, The Bathsheba Battle, sheds new light on this familiar story, by telling it from this woman’s point of view.

The Bathsheba Battle- for your life-impacting tesimony

And, as she walks you through Bathsheba’s story, Natalie addresses some of the common responses to life’s disappointments, offering encouragement and practical help for sorting through suffering as well as moving forward on the healing journey.

I love this quote from Natalie’s book,

“When we keep our pain in the dark, we give the enemy the reigns. But when we surrender that pain in the light, we give the reigns to God.”

Sometimes the pain comes from our choices. Sometimes the pain comes from the choices of others or because this world is just stinking hard.

And this quote from Strong, Brave, Loved by Holley Gerth speaks directly to this too. (See, I told you I was reading this book during my morning quiet time!)

“And the enemy is not ourselves. There’s a reason we use the phrase “beating ourselves up.” When we think the problem is us, we become harsh toward our own hearts. But our primary battle isn’t against any person–including ourselves. And the lies we hear have the same sources as the first lie spoken to Eve in the Garden. If you are a woman in this world, you are at war. It is not optional. And while you may not go roaring into battle, at the very least you need to know basic spiritual self-defense.” –Holley Gerth

To have our life remodeled, we need to start by having our thoughts remodeled, remodeled with a foundation of God’s forgiveness, and remodeled with a shield of faith that combats the enemy’s lies. Is it time to allow God to remodel your heart and life? The answer to that question is … yes! You will never regret opening up your heart to Him.

But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. Philippians 3:13

If you’re ready for some reconstruction, and to turn your shame into a life-impacting testimony, here are some of my posts to get you started.

To Read:

Part 1 and 2 of my abortion story:

How To Be Transparent

Learning To Face The Truth

If you question if God can still use you, and truly give you a life-impacting testimony I promise He can.

To Listen To:

Writers Wednesday

You can also read about how one of my friendships led me to become a writer. Yes, it is worth opening our hearts! If you haven’t seen it yet, Cindy’s Writer’s Desk post is not one to miss!

Most of all, I want to encourage you to share your truth. Feel free to reply to this email and write a note to me. I promise I’m the only one who reads it. Don’t let the enemy hold you in chains any longer.

Has this encouraged you in any way? I would love to hear your story.

~Tricia

These are some books I have written that might bless you as well:

My Life Unscripted

Young people (and old) learn the importance of “scripting” their own responses BEFORE challenging life-situations arise so they are able to think about, pray about, and consider how to face these situations before the scene begins. By contrasting real-life with TV or movies, teens will understand they don’t have to get caught up in the drama. My Life Unscripted

Praying For Your Future Husband

From when we were small girls, most of us dream of “The One,” our future husband. We think about what it would be like to be a bride. We wonder who that special guy is and when we’ll find him. The great news is that what you do now can make a difference in your life and the life of your future husband! Praying For Your Future Husband

Walk It Out

Women often pack their lives with family, friends, and faithful service, yet still end up feeling empty and unfulfilled. In Walk It Out, Tricia Goyer demonstrates to women that walking out the mandates of Scripture allows God to spark passion and mission within them. Walk It Out

Sewn With Joy

Can I work in a woman finding forgiveness into an Amish novel? Oh yes, I can. 😂Joy Miller wanted nothing more than to be a wife and mother—especially now that her relationship with Matthew Slagel, the bishop’s son, was deepening. But when a television crew rolls into Pinecraft, Florida, to film a new show about the Amish, tension threatens to rip apart their relationship…and the entire Amish community. Sewn With Joy

April 29, 2022 by Pamela Black 1 Comment

What Mom Really Wants This Mother’s Day

Do you know what Mom really wants for Mother’s Day? As a mom of ten (yes, ten!) I can tell you that–aside from a day to relax and refresh my spirit with those I hold dear–I’d love any of these great gifts. But don’t just take my word for it, see what some of these happy customers have to say!

What Mom Really Wants This Mother’s Day

My super comfy, retail fit, unisex-sized tees are prewashed for a perfect fit, and they’re exactly what Mom wants. Great over jeans, leggings, or even a skirt, they feature short sleeves and come in a crew neck style. Designed with superior combed and ring-spun cotton, cover stitched collar and sleeves, shoulder-to-shoulder taping, side seams, a tear-away label–and words to inspire everyone Mom meets! She’ll think of you every time she snuggles into her new favorite tee.

Does Mom have a never-ending To-Do list?

Maybe all she really needs to do is have more fun. Let her know you’re giving her the OK to enjoy the day with this great insulated mug. Constructed from lightweight stainless steel, with a vacuum-sealed lid, it’s super durable and spill-resistant for any bumps in the road, so to speak.

The mug is double-walled and ideal for hot and cold drinks—hand wash only. Featuring wraparound artwork from our curated collection of designs, this travel mug is sure to be an everyday staple.

And the best part? Every purchase pays the artist who designed it—supporting creativity worldwide. (20oz capacity)

What’s Mom’s Love Language?

Cater to the book lover with this cute shirt and double-wall insulated mug in her favorite color!

Help keep a smile on her face (and her drink hot or cold!) all day as she dreams about reading her favorite book!

What Mom Really Wants This Mother’s Day

On front: Glory + grace

On back: Turn your eyes upon Jesus Look full in His wonderful face And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace

On Mom– our Cozy Grey Comfort Colors Pullover Unisex sweatshirt!! With a true-to-size fit, and 80/20 ring spun cotton/polyester Soft-washed garment-dyed fabric, Mom will be comfy and warm on those chilly mornings.

Remind Mom how much you –and Jesus!– love her with our You Are So Loved or Your Story Matters tee.

Jesus IS The Best!

I find myself saying this daily. Whether I’m having a bad day or a good day.

2 Samuel 22:20 says, “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” There is no one like Jesus. Even a glimpse of His love for us is overwhelming. He paid the ultimate price for our redemption, because to Him, we are worth it. We simply have to believe in Him, receive the work He completed on our behalf, and follow Him.

According to Hebrews 12:2, “We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” Keep your eyes fixed on the perfecter of your faith, the One who redeemed you because He delighted in you.

This 60% cotton / 40% polyester, beach fleece fabrication Crew neckline with rib trim Raw edge hemline with double-needle stitch will make Mom smile whenever she wears it!

Maybe, Mom needs Heart Happy:

Heart Happy: Staying Centered in God’s Love Through Chaotic Circumstances takes readers on a journey to discover where their true strength, peace, and joy come from—the Lord—no matter what life offers up. Tricia Goyer—author, podcast host, volunteer, homeschooling mom of ten children, and caregiver to her grandma—understands what it’s like to be pulled in different directions with the longing and intention to do all things well. In the midst of chaotic circumstances (which all of us face), she’s found uncomplicated but effective practices for nourishing the soul—because everything stems from the heart.

This hope-filled guide will inspire you to stay tethered to the Lover of your soul. By taking time to make your heart happy in the Lord, you’ll grow closer to the Heavenly Father, fostering true transformation from the inside out. Heart Happy will help you discover the beautiful life you’ve always hoped for through a connection with God that never seemed possible … until now.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms. Remember, you are SO loved!

Joyfully,

Tricia

April 23, 2022 by Tricia Goyer Leave a Comment

Does Your Teen Dream of Becoming an Author?

Does Your Teen Dream of Becoming an Author? Or do they dabble in writing but also want to improve for college or their future career? Or are you a homeschool parent who’s looking for supplementary writing education? If so, I’m excited to share what I’ve found!

Does Your Teen Dream of Becoming an Author?

For the past 20 years, I’ve been teaching adults how to fulfill their call to write and discover their place in the Christian publishing industry. However, at the homeschool conventions and writing conferences I attend, I keep hearing the same question: “What recommendations do you have for my teenager who likes to write?”

For the past couple of years, I’ve been looking for the right answer to this question.

This is why today, I’m excited to share that I’ve discovered the perfect program for teens who love writing. It’s called the Young Writer’s Workshop, and as of last week, I’ve just joined them as their newest instructor.

WHAT IS THE YOUNG WRITER’S WORKSHOP?

The Young Writer’s Workshop is an interactive, online learning community for Christian writers aged 12-25, where students get access to:
1) New writing courses every month on topics like writing consistently, crafting powerful messages, and publishing their work
2) A safe, encouraging community site full of other young writers and
3) An ever-growing content library of writing lessons

Our goal is to take young writers seriously and give them encouragement and direction as they pursue their writing goals. Specifically, we teach content on how to improve their writing and share their writing with others.

In addition to the lessons I’ll be regularly teaching for the Young Writer’s Workshop, I’ll also be pioneering the newest addition to the program: “Write with Me” sessions, where I’ll take a page from a famous book, unpack the author’s techniques with students, and then guide them to learn how to replicate that author’s personal style.

In the program, students can also join writing groups, participate in live writing events, get accountability and support for their writing, have their questions answered by published authors, and find the motivation they need to improve as writers.

WHAT YOUR STUDENT WILL LEARN

This program is first and foremost to encourage young writers to pursue excellence in their writing and cultivate marketable skills.

This is of value whether your child uses writing to publish a book or whether they use their writing in another career. Writing well is an extremely portable tool.

A recent survey of American corporations and government entities found that good writing skills are vital to gaining a job and advancing in one’s place of employment.

In YWW, your student will learn how to…

— Write well (so they can clearly communicate to their intended audience)
— Sell their skills (e.g. by creating a platform, blog, email list, or website)
— Engage others to support their craft and share their vision
— Give and receive criticism humbly
— Understand the business/career side of writing
— Gain the confidence and motivation to stick with things
— Become more discerning as they learn how to better evaluate the written word

LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

As you can tell, I’m pretty excited to join the Young Writer’s Workshop team to impact and shape the next generation of writers.

Enrollment for the program is currently closed until May 10th.

But I have a special link you can use to claim a $1 monthly trial to the program when enrollment opens in May.

You can claim that $1 offer and learn more about the program by following this link.

I can’t wait to meet your students in the program!

Tricia

tips

Homeschool Scheduling Hope

Teacher’s Guide

Watch the video unboxing here:

Hope and Refreshment for Homeschooling Parents

6 Ways to Effectively Lead Young Children

Setting Family Priorities

1. Trust

2. Belonging

3. Focus

4. Flexibility

5. Boundaries

6. Perspective

Start Strong!

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

The Importance of a Simple Homeschool Schedule

The important thing is to evaluate your current season and figure out what works well now.

1. A simple homeschool schedule helps kids know what to expect.

2. A simple homeschool schedule helps you develop daily routines and turn chaos into calm.

3. A simple homeschool schedule will help you be more disciplined.

4. To create a schedule that fits your needs, start by asking questions:

5. Next, start to ‘form up’ your day:

Ask:

6. Have a start time to shoot for.

7. Don’t try to make your day look like a public school day.

Check out my book Homeschool Basics!

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

In many ways, it did.

I felt like I knew my kids – really KNEW them.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?”

Luke 14:28

I’ve put my heart and soul into developing a course for you that outlines the most important aspects of homeschooling:

Homeschooling Success Can Be Yours

Don’t Wait!

Let me show you how! Learn more about The Homeschool Success Course now!

Budgeting for Back-to-School Expenses

How to Find Extra Cash for Back-to-School Expenses

1. Cell Phones

2. Insurance

3. Subscription Services

4. Be Inconvenienced

What to Do with Your Savings

{More about Jessi Fearon}

Additional Resources

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Be a role model.

Talk about what love is—and isn’t!

Remind kids it CAN happen to them.

Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant.

Let your kids know that most teens (and adults!) wished they had waited.

Encourage your teen to plan their actions BEFORE the situation arises.

Talk about the media’s wrong messages.

Encourage secondary purity.

Realize parents can only do so much . . . but make sure it’s done!

Let your kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life.

Lastly, remember Parents, you CAN make a difference in your teen’s lives!

Help Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

Additional Resources

How do you joyfully share a life with your spouse? More than that, how do you have a fulfilling marriage?

What is your mission as a couple?

Additional Resources

Teaching and training are part of being a parent.

Rules for Outings

Additional Resources

2 Parents + 8 Kids + 1 Grandma = A house full of chaos, mess, and noise!

When the Story That Brought You Shame Becomes Your Life-Impacting Testimony

Yet while everything looked happy on the inside, I carried within a deep chasm filled with pain, shame, and regret.

I certainly didn’t have a life-impacting testimony, in fact, I didn’t feel like I had a testimony at all!

My life remodeled into a Life-Impacting Testimony

Each of us carries pain. Sometimes it’s due to our bad decisions. Sometimes it’d due to others’ bad decisions, And sometimes the pain is there because we live in a broken world and bad things happen to good people.

What we can learn from Paul and Bathsheba

Another person in the Bible that tugs at my heart is Bathsheba.

This wasn’t the life she’d chosen, but she trusted that God could bring good out of pain.

Walk it Out Podcast

Last week I released a podcast with Natalie Chambers Snapp, and we talked about Bathseba’s story … and how her story can apply to ours. Natalie’s book, The Bathsheba Battle, sheds new light on this familiar story, by telling it from this woman’s point of view.

“When we keep our pain in the dark, we give the enemy the reigns. But when we surrender that pain in the light, we give the reigns to God.”

But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before. Philippians 3:13

If you question if God can still use you, and truly give you a life-impacting testimony I promise He can.

Writers Wednesday

~Tricia

4. **To create a schedule that fits your needs, start by asking questions:**

**Remind kids it CAN happen to them.**