Teens: when things are difficult…

credit:figment

I often get emails from those who read my blog with parenting questions. I’m no expert, but I’ve dealt with quite a few issues in my 22 years of being a mom. Recently I received and email that was facing a very difficult situation with her teen son and she was certain their relationship was broken forever. I thought my note to her might encourage you, too:

Hi Roxie*,

Thank you so much for your note. I have a few suggestions … I hope they will help! Pick and choose what you feel makes sense to you.

1. First realize that your emotions are real and justified. When our kids strike out at us it HURTS. We give so much, love so much, that their outbursts dig deep.

2. Know that what’s happening at this moment is not what will be happening next week, next year, or five years from now. There were some HARD times with my kids but we got through them. What may seem like a canyon now will hopefully only be a pot hole later.

3. That said, take note of your kids’ behavioral issues and if there are drastic mood changes look in to it. Mood changes like this can be a sign of depression. I learned this after working on Life, In Spite of Me by Kristen Anderson. If you think this might be the case and need someone to talk to, here is contact information.

4. Know that your relationship is not destroyed. The hundreds of good days can’t be destroyed by a few bad ones. Pray and ask God to help you to see the situation as He does. Pray for guidance on what to do and say.

5. Sometimes the best this to do is just take a step back. When I try too hard to fix things my kids often get defensive. Just showing love without trying to patch things can go a long way.

As I’m sure you know, I’m not a counselor. I just a mom like you … but maybe something I said will strike a chord with you.

*Named changed for privacy.