The Undoing . . .

One of the best things, and the hardest too, about being a writer is the “undoing.” To do my best, I must give my all. All authors do.

I have many writer friends, and I don’t know one person who writes the first sentence of their new novel and knows the whole story, knows it will be wonderful, and has confidence in every word. Instead, we question, we struggle, we have doubts, and we turn to God in ways greater than we ever dream possible. And as we write, we are changed.

“God writes our new name only on those places in our lives where He has erased our pride, self-sufficiency, and self-interest,” says Oswald Chambers in today’s devotional reading in My Utmost for His Highest. “Some of us have our new name written only in certain spots, like spiritual measles. And in those areas of our lives we look all right. When we are in our best spiritual mood, you would think we were the highest quality saints. But don’t dare look at us when we are not in that mood. A true disciple is one who has his new name written all over him—self-interest, pride, and self-sufficiency have been completely erased.”

That is my goal as a believer in Christ. That all self-interest, pride, and self-sufficiency will be completely erased. God, in the amazing way He works, uses writing to do that.

When I’m staring at this computer screen, working on these stories, I feel weaker and more in need than any other time. I have no pride, only a total need for God. Spots of godliness aren’t enough in situations like these. I need God all over me–inside and out. It’s a needy place to be, but wonderful too. As the Newboys are singing on my cd player right now: “Come on, Lord, and fill up my life. I need your presence, this is my heart’s desire . . .”

How about you? What in your life does this “undoing”? How does God meet you there?