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Raising Adults Who Thrive On Their Own with Brenda Yoder

I used to think parenting was all about raising God-loving, caring kids. But after doing this parenting gig for 31 years, I look at things differently. My parenting has very little to do about having a good kid. Instead, it’s about raising adults.

I teach kindness when my kids are young so they can become a kind, caring, and loving spouse and parent. I teach a good work ethic not so my kids can do a good job on their chores today (although that’s nice!), but so they can thrive in the workforce and be a contributing member of society.

I’ve also discovered that building bonds through time together, learning together, and laughing together isn’t just about making great childhood memories. It’s also about having adult kids who love coming home to visit and hang out. Nearly every day I video call with my daughter who lives in Europe. At least once a week my adult sons come over for dinner and board games … which means I get to see grandkids often, too!

“18 Summers” is just the beginning. Adult kids are even better because you don’t have to worry about monitoring social media time or movie choices.

Instead, you can celebrate who they are, while still being a friend and a wise counselor. But that also means understanding the importance of not holding on too tight during the teen years and learning to launch kids well.

This is exactly what we’re talking about today on Walk It Out. I’m chatting with Brenda Yoder about her book Fledge: Launching Kids Without Losing Your Mind.

“To fledge” has a double meaning. First of all, it speaks of baby birds who are growing wings and about to fly. Secondly, it speaks of fledging an arrow. “To fledge an arrow means to put feathers on it to prepare it to fly toward a mark.”

In Fledge, Brenda explains the trials and heartaches of nudging our children out of the home nest, as well as how to equip them to fly toward the mark that God has for them.

Brenda says, “I want to encourage parents to be empowered to release their kids for independence and autonomy, especially at the end of a school year for those with kids reaching milestones. My passion is helping parents not enable their kids, but successfully release them.”

Who is Brenda Yoder?

Brenda L. Yoder is a licensed mental health counselor, speaker, Bible teacher, educator, and parent of teens and young adults. She has a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling and a bachelor’s degree in education. Brenda’s work has been published in the Washington Post and Chicken Soup for the Soul. She has been a columnist for Ten to Twenty Parenting and Whatever Girls. A former high school teacher and middle school counselor, Brenda, and her husband have four children and live in northern Indiana.

You can order Fledge HERE.

About the Book:

Your kids are spreading their wings. Are you ready? In Fledge, counselor, educator, and mother Brenda L. Yoder helps Christian parents navigate the many transitions of the launching years. How do you parent tweens at home and young adults away from home at the same time? What’s a good balance between boundaries and freedom? How can you pray for your fledgling youth? And what do you do with all that mom grief?

Your job as a parent isn’t over; it’s just changing. Equip yourself with biblical wisdom for this season of transition in your family life. Learn the patterns to avoid and the habits to pursue. Launching your children can be scary, and some days it might make you crazy. But you’ve been raising them to do just this. Fledge will help you release your children into the future that God has planned for them.

Other books Brenda recommends:

The Birth Order | Kevin Leman

Losing Control and Liking It | Tim Sanford

Boundaries with Teens | Townsend and Cloud

Parenting: From Surviving to Thriving | Chuck Swindoll

Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All

Walk It Out Scripture

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Psalm 127:4

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Resources, books, and links mentioned in this episode:

Fledge | Brenda Yoder
Psalm 127
Bask | Nathan Goyer

Connect with Brenda Yoder

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Special thanks to this week’s sponsor

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